Separation Anxiety
by Headbanger Rockstar
Summary: Sequel to Breaks and Repairs. Picks up the summer after Breaks and Repairs ends...what happens next? Warnings to come! AU & OOC. TonyGibbs Father/Son. 4th story in Terminal Orders Series. TISSUE WARNING!
1. Summer 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of the characters. Original characters and plot belong to me, and I take full credit for any evilness that may happen herein. NCIS is property of the CBS Network and Bellisario Productions. I am just borrowing them!**

**Author's Note: **Our story begins in the summer following the end of Breaks & Repairs—almost a full year later. Tony is just finishing up kindergarten, and Kelly is just finishing up 3rd grade. Chapter One contains major spoilers from Breaks & Repairs and Daddy's Boy. Might wanna read Daddy's Boy and Breaks & Repairs before you read this one.

_Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, GotGoats who keeps an eye on me to make sure all my I's are dotted and T's are crossed. Goats does a wonderful job—thanks so much dude! Love ya!_

**Separation Anxiety  
by Headbanger_Rockstar**  
**Chapter 1: Summer 1**

It was a beautiful day, late spring, just a few days before the beginning of summer. Tony woke up and smiled as he bounced out of bed. Today was a special day! He raced down the stairs, nearly falling over his own feet in his excitement and found his parents in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

"Mommy! Daddy! Is it today? Is today the day!"

Jethro chuckled and nodded. He scooted his seat back so Tony could climb up in his daddy's lap. Tony pounced him and wrapped his little arms around his daddy's neck and squeezed. "Good morning Daddy!"

"Morning Buddy," he said with a laugh. "Someone woke up in a good mood today!"

"It was me! I did!" Tony exclaimed.

Shannon chuckled. "To answer your forgotten question, Tony," she smiled brighter, "Yes. Today is the day!"

Tony's eyes widened and his smile could light the world. "REALLY? Today is finally here!"

A noise in the doorway drew everyone's attention. Kelly stood in the doorway, still in her pjs as well, one hand scrubbing her eye sleepily. She'd begun sleeping later and later over the last few months, becoming less and less bouncy in the mornings—was turning into quite a bear to wake up to. But Tony thought that was ok—he usually woke up happy and bouncy enough for them both. "HI KELLY!" he exclaimed. "TODAY IS THE DAY! We been waiting forevers and evers for today! I am SUPER happy!" The seven year old was all smiles and excitement this morning.

"Uggh," Kelly grunted, still only half awake. The parents had gotten concerned as their daughter's sleeping habits changed so drastically and had taken her to the doctor for it. Dr. Walters carefully checked the little girl over, and decided that her body's needs were changing—sometimes children around that age began to need more sleep.

Tony raced up to her and Kelly raised a hand to stop her. "No Tony," she said softly. She slid into a seat at the table and put her head on her arms.

Jethro leaned over and poked her in the ribs a couple of times. "Good morning, Your Royal Grouchiness," he said.

She snorted and swung an arm at him. Tony giggled. Sometimes Kelly was so silly—but he never would try to hit his Mommy or Daddy—he didn't think that would be good if he did that.

"I know how to cheer Kelly up," Shannon said, turning back to the stove. A moment later a plate filled with blueberry pancakes was placed in front of the sleepy girl. Kelly raised an eyebrow and sniffed before her eyes popped open. She started munching happily on their weekly treat and Shannon smiled. "See," she looked at Tony. "Told ya."

"Thanks Mom. Morning Tony," Kelly said around her pancakes. "Morning Daddy."

"Hi there Princess," Jethro said with a smile. He glanced at the clock. "What time are we supposed to be there?"

Shannon glanced at the calendar on the refrigerator. "At 11. It starts at 2pm."

"Why do we have to go so early," Kelly wanted to know. "I mean I'm happy and all, but we don't have time to go play before."

"Well if someone hadn't slept all day you might have had time," Shannon said with a smirk.

"Ha, ha, Mom," Kelly said with a snort. "Can't help it I was sleepy."

"No, you can't," Shannon agreed. "But don't grumble to me about missing out on playtime either! We can play afterwards I bet."

"You think so?" Kelly was hopeful.

"I think so. And if not, there's always tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. And the—" she stopped when Kelly gasped.

"IT'S SUMMER VACATION!"

"Yes," Shannon said with a grin. "Yes it is."

"Mommy?" Tony spoke up. Shannon set a plate of pancakes at the seat beside Jethro and Jethro slid him over to his chair.

"Yea babe?" Shannon asked, turning back to the stove.

"What do we do when there is no school?" Tony wanted to know. After all, he'd only just finished Kindergarten yesterday—he'd never had a summer vacation before.

"Well…you get some choice about what you do," Shannon said. "We'll probably take a trip up to Pennsylvania to see Grandma and Grandpa at some point, and then you'll get some vote on where you go while Mommy and Daddy work."

"But it's summer vacation," Tony said. "How's come you gotta work still?"

"It's only summer vacation for kids Tony," Kelly told him. "Unless you're a teacher—Mommy do teachers get summer vacation too?"

"Yes they do," Shannon said.

"Do we stay here by ourselves all day?" Tony wanted to know. That idea made his tummy feel funny. He didn't like the thoughts of that one little bit. He'd spent years alone when he was very small, living at his Mean-Daddy's house—he had NO desire to do it again now that he was bigger.

"Absolutely no way," Jethro said. "You will have some choices to pick from on where you go. And Mommy and Daddy will try to have a few days off here and there so that you don't have to go somewhere every day. And on weekends you'll be at home with us like normal."

"What's our choices?" Tony mumbled around a mouthful of pancakes.

Shannon turned and raised an eyebrow at him. Tony took a drink of milk and swallowed, then grinned. "Sorry Mommy," he said cheekily.

"Now," Shannon said, setting pancakes in front of Jethro. "What were you asking me?"

"What's our choices?" Tony asked again.

"Ah. Well…you can go to a summer camp—there are several we can look at if you like. You could go to Maddie Tyler's house…Or you could go to Scott Edwards' house."

"Can't go to Scott's house," Jethro said softly. "His daddy's deploying next week and he was saying Jewel's going to have to go back to work."

Tony set his fork down. "What's deployment?" he asked softly, his eyes widening.

Jethro sighed and took a long sip of coffee. "Sometimes when a person works for the military—like I do, and like Scott's daddy does—their bosses tell them they have to go on a trip. Sometimes it's a short trip and they're only gone a few days, and sometimes it's a kind of short trip and they're only gone a few weeks. But sometimes, people in the military have to go on long trips, and they're sometimes gone for a long time."

"How long?" Tony picked up his fork and shoved a bite of pancakes in his mouth.

"Well, the Marine Corps usually does deployments that last around nine months or so," Jethro told him. "But other branches of the military do different times. The army sometimes goes on even longer deployments—sometimes longer than a year."

"A year is a long time," Tony said thoughtfully.

"Yes," Jethro said, thinking over the last couple of years and how fast they'd gone and how fast his life had changed. "They can be a very long time, or a very short time—it depends on if you're having fun or not, I think."

"And Scott's Daddy have to go away on a deployment?" A frown crossed Tony's features.

"Yeah Bud, he was telling me at the grocery store the other day that he was being sent on deployment and that he's leaving next week."

"How long he's gonna be gone?"

"I think Jeremiah told me he's going to be gone at least seven months, but possibly closer to nine."

"You mean he don't even know how long he's a be gone?" Tony's eyes were wide. "I don't think Scott is going to like that much."

"I don't think Jeremiah will like it much either," Jethro said. "Deployments are not fun."

Shannon cleared her throat and looked meaningfully at Jethro. He understood. He didn't want to bring it up, but he felt like he needed to. "Tony…sometimes…sometimes when groups of people or countries are not getting along with each other, people like me have to go help them learn how to get along. And sometimes…sometimes we have to hurt people and…sometimes people like me get hurt too."

"They need a bandaid? Or they need a surgery? I hadda surgery…Two times!"

"Yes you did Tony," Jethro agreed, trying not to shudder at the memory. "Sometimes people don't get hurt very badly…but sometimes they get hurt and they can't get better."

"They go a heaven?" Tony's face began to lose its color.

"Sometimes they do, yeah," Jethro said.

"Is Scott's Daddy gonna go a heaven?" Tony's voice was nearly a whisper now.

"I don't think so. He's going to Japan, and everyone's getting along right now. He's just going on a practice trip."

"I don't think Scott's going to like this very much," Tony said again.

"Well. I think he'll be alright. His daddy has deployed before. He knows what it's like. He'll be brave I'm sure of it!" Shannon said. "And besides—no one is leaving today—and todaaaaay is a fun day! Let's go get ready yea?"

Tony smiled. "But Mommy I am not done with my pancaaaaakesssss!" the child exclaimed.

"Well you better get to chomping, Mister! You're one of the stars of the day—we wouldn't want to keep anybody waiting!"

The parents giggled when Tony began shoveling pancakes in his mouth at record speed. No, he didn't want to keep anybody waiting today.

xxx

"Tony hold still—I have to comb your hair down—it's sticking up in the back!" Shannon said as she tried to hold the squirmy little boy still.

Tony wriggled out of his mommy's grasp and groaned in frustration. "My hair don't ever lay down Mommy!" he exclaimed in an exasperated tone. "How's come it's gotta today?"

"Because you want to look your very best," Shannon said, still trying to comb the boy's hair.

A knock on the door sounded and Jethro poked his head in. "How's it going?"

"If someone would hold still it'd go faster," Shannon said sweetly.

"Want me to have a go at it?"

Shannon nodded. "I need to go help Kelly fix her hair. See if you can get Tony's hair to lay down."

"It don't wanna lay down!" Tony said. "It keeps tryin' to stand up a cause it don't wanna lay down!"

"I see that," Jethro said. "However, we should still try to make it lay down." At Tony's skeptical look, Jethro winked. "It'll make Mommy happy," he promised. "And we love to make Mommy happy, don't we, Big Guy?"

"Yeaaah!" Tony squealed.

Jethro sat Tony on the bathroom counter, wet the comb and pursed his lips. They had this—they could do this! He hoped.

xxx

Shannon chuckled out loud when her boys finally emerged from the bathroom. "Well aren't you two just the cutest things ever!" Shannon agreed. "Tony you look so much like your daddy—why…even…your hair…you cut your hair…Jethro!" Shannon exclaimed. Jethro poked his head around the corner. "YOU CUT HIS HAIR?!"

"It wouldn't lay down, so I made it all stand up," Jethro said, proudly eyeing the snappy Marine haircut that his seven year old son now sported. "I think he looks great!"

Shannon looked at it—carefully gelled into place so that not a hair was wrong, the cut neat and even…and Tony was grinning wildly. "You're pretty clever, aren't you?" she asked with a sly grin.

Tony's grin faltered ever so slightly. "It was…It was Daddy! His idea!" Tony looked up at his daddy, hoping the man would back him and tell Mommy.

"He's right," Jethro admitted. "We tried several tricks to get it to lay down and it just wouldn't. I thought it'd look ok like this. It'll be cooler for the summer, if nothing else, and we can let it grow back out if we need to."

"I look like Daddy!" Tony exclaimed, so proud of himself. He raced to his bedroom where Shannon had laid out his clothes for him. The khaki pants and white button down shirt would be cool and comfortable for the festivities today, and coupled with his brown sandals, Tony looked like a tiny little GQ model.

"You do look like your Daddy," Shannon agreed. "You're quite handsome. And at least your hair is all going in the same direction now." Shannon straightened his shirt and pants and helped him buckle his sandals. Tony had grown so much over the last year…Tony had been living with the Gibbses since two Novembers ago, and in the eighteen months they'd had him, the child had really made leaps and bounds of progress in his growth and development. It made Shannon a little bit sad at how fast her little one was growing up, but she knew that he was growing up healthy and well-cared for now. He would turn into a wonderful man when he got older and Shannon couldn't be more proud. She wiped his glasses on the hem of her t-shirt and set them firmly but gently on his nose. "There," she said. "Let me look at you." Tony took two steps back and smiled. Shannon smiled too. "You look amazing. Wonderful."

Kelly walked to the doorway in Tony's room and stopped. Tony's eyes widened. "Kelly you look soooooooooooo pretty!" he said softly. "I like your dress lots!" The dress was not one Kelly would have picked for herself, but she supposed that for today it would be alright. She wore a green dress that came down just past her knees. Her skirt had all of this fluffy white stuff under it. She was wearing little green dress shoes that matched the color of the dress and her hair was done up in a complicated looking braid that was very pretty. Her hair wound around the crown of her head, and Shannon had put tiny little pink and white flowers in her hair.

"It's ok, I guess," Kelly said. "But I really don't like my dress. I really wished I could wear something else."

"Now Kelly," Shannon said gently. "I know, but this dress was picked out especially for you and for this special day. It's important you look nice. And you, my dear, look lovely."

Kelly squenched up her nose. "Mommy you can't go dressed like thaaaaat," she stage-whispered. "You'll look funny."

"What! You mean I can't go like this?" Shannon twirled, showing off her ratty jean shorts and her t-shirt that had holes in it. "Darn it! Jethro what am I going to wear? Kelly says I look funny!"

Jethro raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to Shannon. He leaned over and kissed her passionately. "I think you look beautiful just like this," he said, swooping her around and dipping her down low. Shannon let out a startled squeak, but then giggled uncontrollably. Jethro kissed her again and Kelly fled the room. "Ugggghhh grosssssss," she moaned dramatically.

Tony took a step closer, watching his parents closely and making a funny face. "You're bein' yucky again!" he exclaimed.

"I know I know," Jethro grumbled. "But trust me. It's only yucky when we do it. One day you'll like it."

"I don't think so," Tony said firmly, crossing his arms. "Girls are icky."

xxx

Gabriella Oliver sat at the dressing table in front of her, robe tied loosely around her waist, hair freshly dried from the long shower she'd taken that morning. She picked up her makeup brush and began fixing her face. As she moved methodically over her face, eyelids, eyelashes, cheeks, and lips, she thought back to how she'd arrived at this moment.

She'd met Gunnery Sergeant Craig Madison under some…harrowing circumstances, during one of the darkest periods of her life. He'd befriended her, stuck by her, and in the end fallen in love with her. She'd fallen in love with him, and the rest, as they say, was history. After being attacked by Pedro Hernandez the summer before, Gabriella and her son Jacob had gone to stay with Craig once she'd been released from the hospital. She'd been seeing a counselor ever since. When she was just about healed up physically, Craig asked Gabby if she'd move in with him. She'd smiled and said yes. Their romance was a whirlwind, and some of their friends doubted their ability to last. She smiled when she thought of what Craig told anyone who doubted them:

"We've already been through the 'worse'; I'm ready to start on the 'better.'"

Gabby smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Today was her big day. All of her dreams were coming true.

Her parents hadn't been thrilled when they heard she was going to marry a military man. They wanted her to finish up her enlistment and then come back home to cold and boring Connecticut. The people there were very nice, but Gabby loved living in sunny, warm Southern California. Craig's parents were from New Mexico. Gabby had only met them last night at the rehearsal dinner. She regretted the fact that they hadn't had time or leave available to go visit any of the parents before now, but everything just fell into place so quickly…she figured it would work out for the best.

It was not their intention to get married so quickly, but the Marine Corps had forced them to speed up their plans. The wedding was originally intended to take place in late summer or early fall. However, Craig had gotten new orders only three months ago. His new orders were sending him to Camp Lejune, in North Carolina. The base there was in need of some direction and some support, and they felt that Madison was just the man for the job. Craig was sick over the thought of leaving his base, his life, and his soon-to-be-bride and her child. So he'd gotten down on his knee and asked her if she would accompany him to North Carolina with him.

"I don't know what it'll be like," he admitted. "I've never been to North Carolina before. But I know with you there it'll be better."

Gabby was a Lance Corporal. Her enlistment was up at the end of the month, and she had decided she didn't want to re-enlist. She wanted to finish her college degree, find a good steady job and raise her kid. The events of the previous summer had changed Gabby. She was no longer the carefree, happy-go-lucky party girl she'd once been. She was more serious now, and viciously protective of her child. She'd lost many friends over the last year—people who couldn't understand the changes she was making or the reasons for the changes. Life was filled with changes it seemed, and Gabby was learning the value of this lesson…in the past year her entire world had been turned upside down—and in return some really remarkable things had happened.

And today…today was the icing on the cake. Makeup finished, and her hair carefully plaited as she wanted it, Gabby stood and walked to the closet. She flung open the door and smiled.

Today was the first day of the rest of her very good life. She couldn't wait to get started.

xxx

Tony stood at the back of the chairs, waiting for his turn to walk up front. Craig was already up front and he was dressed very similar to Tony. He stood in the sand, barefoot, and he didn't look nervous at all to be in front of all of those people. Tony knew in a minute that the lady with the big hair and the clipboard was going to make him go stand up front with Craig. He knew he could do it, and Baby Jacob was going to walk with him, but Tony was feeling terribly scared all of a sudden. He unconsciously raised his right hand to his temple—where his scar used to be—and thought back to a very scary day in his past…

_**Flashback**_

_Tony was quite obviously dragging his feet when it came time to leave to go to the courthouse that morning._

"_Come on Tony," Jethro called from the front door where he was waiting with his keys in his hand. "It's time to leave, we can't be late!"_

"_I's comin'!" Tony called. He moved slowly down the stairs, but was struggling to hold onto the rail and his two books. He'd had a difficult time deciding which books he wanted to bring along for the car ride to court, but had finally selected the two books that Shannon had given him for Christmas. _

_When he reached the bottom step, Jethro scooped him up and they raced out of the house._

_***flash***_

_The drive to the Los Angeles County Courthouse was mostly quiet. Tony began getting antsy once they got off the highway and started weaving their way through the city. They parked in the parking deck and Jethro helped Tony down from the car. Jethro smiled down at Tony and held his hand. "Ready?"_

_Tony thought for a moment and shook his head. "No," he said softly. "I's wanna go to the park instead."_

_Jethro smiled sadly and nodded. "I wanna go to the park too. Maybe this evening we can go ok?"_

_Tony looked at him for a long moment, and Jethro could see the silent plea in his child's eyes. Tony was silently begging to be taken anywhere but into the courthouse. Tony was silently begging to not be made to face his father, to not be forced to talk about what happened…to be anywhere but here._

_Jethro sighed and knelt down. "We're coming," Jethro said. He turned back to Tony. "Scared?" His voice was soft, sympathetic. Tony sniffled and nodded pitifully. His fingers twisted nervously in the necktie he was wearing and his eyes were on his shoes._

_Jethro gave him a hug and the child was stiff in his embrace. He pulled back from the hug and looked at his boy. "Tony? Look at Daddy."_

_Tony slowly looked up at Jethro. Jethro cupped Tony's face in his hands. "I want you to listen," he said softly. "I am so proud of you. You have been so brave and I know this must be so scary for you. But you are doing the right thing—you are going to help us fix it so you can live with us forever. OK?"_

_***flash***_

_To say the Gibbses were surprised when they arrived and found that Senior was representing himself would be an understatement. Jethro was so angry that he nearly got himself arrested for contempt after he yelled at members of the court staff about Senior being allowed to represent himself in the trial. Shannon put her hand on his arm and tried to calm him down but it wasn't working—nothing could calm the protective young father, save only one thing._

_A little hand grabbed onto his pants leg and began to tug gently._

_Jethro turned around and looked at Tony, stopping mid-rant. Seeing the fear on his child's face, Jethro dropped down to Tony's level. "What's up buddy? You ok?"_

"_Why you so mad Jethro? Did I do bad?"_

_Jethro felt immediately sorry for his behavior. He shook his head. "No Tony. You didn't do anything wrong. We just found out that your father is going to be his own lawyer," he explained softly. "That means that he can probably talk to you and ask you questions."_

_Tony's eyes widened in fear and Shannon ran her fingers through Tony's hair, scratching his scalp very lightly with her fingernails. Tony shivered at the pleasant sensation and looked up at his Shannon. She smiled kindly down at him. "My little Tony," she said softly, "You are going to have to be extra brave! Daddy and I will be in the courtroom with you, and we are so proud of you."_

_Jacob Stone looked at the young father for a long moment. He sighed. "He will be kept as safe as is possible in here," Stone said. "There are always risks, but I can't imagine that anything would happen."_

_Jethro's eyes narrowed and Shannon put her hand on Jethro's arm. "Jethro," her voice held the same warning tone she got whenever Kelly was about to get herself into trouble. "It's alright," she said soothingly. "We have to be here. We have to. If we leave, they'll take him away from us. It'll be ok," she whispered into his ear._

_***flash***_

_The judge came in and the hearing started. The judge immediately called Tony to join him in chambers. Tony was reluctant to go, and Jethro stood up. "May I walk him to the door, Your Honor?"_

_Judge Sorrells raised an eyebrow. "I think the child is more than capable of walking on his own."_

_Tony stood up slowly and his leg wobbled. Jethro reached a steadying hand out to catch him automatically. Tony looked up at Jethro and his eyes filled with tears. Jethro smiled sadly at him. "Go ahead buddy," he whispered, sitting back down. "Judge wants you to go by yourself. We'll be right here when you come back."_

_Tony took a shaky breath and nodded. His first step, his leg wobbled again and Tony reached out and grabbed the table to steady himself. Stress caused his leg muscles to tense, and with a leg that didn't work well on good days, today the leg was all but refusing to hold him up. "I's coming," Tony whispered. _

**_*flash*_**

_The judge took off his robe and sat down in his chair. Tony stood in front of the judge's desk, not knowing what he was supposed to be doing._

"_Would you like to sit down," the judge asked gently. His stern tone of voice was gone, and in its place was a nice, aging man. He was very different than he'd been out in the courtroom and this only confused Tony more._

"_Ok," Tony said softly. He wobbled again as he turned to move to the chair._

"_Now then Tony," Judge Sorrells said once Tony was sitting in the chair. "Do you mind if I call you Tony?"_

_Tony shook his head. "I don't mind," he whispered._

"_Tony before we begin I have to check to make sure you understand what it means to tell the truth. I have to make sure you understand what you're saying and what it means. Alright?"_

"_How you gonna do that? Will it hurt?" Poor Tony had been to see so many doctors and therapists and talked to so many police officers, he had no idea what to expect from anybody anymore. Some people hurt, others didn't, some were nice, others weren't. It was all very confusing._

"_Won't hurt a bit," the judge said kindly. "I'm going to ask you some questions, that's all. Once we finish this first part, then we'll talk about what you saw when you lived with your father and mother. Ok?"_

_**End Flashback**_

He was told later that he'd left the judge's chambers and made it back to the courtroom. Little Tony didn't know for sure though, he didn't remember anything else about that day. The next thing he knew his head hurt really, really bad, and Jethro was with him. But ever since that day he hated crowded rooms. They made him nervous, made his tummy feel funny. He didn't like it.

This…this huge group of people on the beach didn't make Tony very happy. No one told him it was going to be like this…

The lady with the clipboard stepped up to Tony and put her hand on his shoulder. He flinched. "You're up, Little One," she said.

Tony looked down the aisle…and froze.

TBC…


	2. Summer 2

**Author's Note: **I'm drowning in fluff…so there's some angst towards the end of this chapter. Nothing y'all can't handle though…

_Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats. Without your help this story would NOT be possible! You're awesome!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 2: Summer 2**

"Young man," the lady with the big hair and the clipboard said, "You need to go—it's your turn to go down the aisle now." She gently nudged Tony forward but he dug his heels in and shook his head stubbornly, bristling at her touch.

"C'mon Tony-Decaf," Little Jacob said. He was three years old now and a 'big kid.' He didn't know why Tony-Decaf (as he referred to him) was acting so weird. "We gots a go!"

"Let's go Tony, I'll go with you," a new, and thankfully familiar voice spoke behind him. He whipped around and smiled shyly. Daddy!

"Daddy? What ya doin?" Tony asked as he took the older man's hand and they, along with Little Jacob started down the aisle.

"I've got your six Tony," Jethro told him. "And I am going to make sure you're ok for this. I know you don't like crowds." By now they'd reached the front where Craig was waiting for them. Tony held onto the pillow that had Craig's ring on it and Jacob held the pillow with Gabby's ring on it.

Jethro got them into position and then took a seat on the front row right in front of Tony. Before they'd gone down the aisle, Gabby had seen how frightened Tony looked. Understanding what was happening, she'd gotten Jethro on the job. She felt bad that Decaf—as she affectionately referred to Tony—was so scared, but she knew when he got that way that Jethro was the best thing for him. The child was empowered by his daddy, supported in such a way that the little one felt invincible if he knew his daddy "had his six." She told Jethro to go with them and sit up front, close in case Tony needed him. Despite the excitement of this day, and her desire for it to be wonderful and magical, she wouldn't risk Tony for it. Her day would be a little less wonderful and magical if the little one was upset or frightened because of her.

The music continued and Tony watched as his sister came down the aisle. She was a Junior Bridesmaid, but also something called a flower girl. Tony thought he'd never seen his sister look so pretty. She sprinkled flower petals on the ground and when she got up front where Tony was, she set her basket down and went to stand beside Shannon. Shannon was holding two bouquets of flowers. She handed one to Kelly. Shannon was also one of Gabby's bridesmaids. She wore a green dress like Kelly, only hers wasn't fluffy like Kelly's was. Shannon's dress fell to just below her knees and her skirt twirled when she spun around. The top of Shannon's dress was kind of wrinkly looking to Tony, and the strap went around the back of her neck. She'd said to Daddy that the dress looked like Marilyn Monroe's white dress, but Tony didn't know who that was. However, Daddy agreed with Mommy, just before he'd started acting yucky again.

After Kelly joined Mommy, it was Gabby's turn. The music changed and suddenly everyone was standing up. Tony's eyes widened. He'd seen Gabby back in the back behind everybody, but now…now she looked different. Her dress wasn't all bunched up in her arms anymore, it hung down to the ground, just barely touching the sand. She was carrying flowers like Mommy. But it was her face that really struck Tony. Gabby looked…different. As she got closer he realized what made her look so different.

"Gabby," he breathed when she reached the front. "You look so happy! You's beautiful!" He smiled shyly at her when she turned and looked at him. She stepped over to him and gave him a big hug. Tony thought she smelled good too.

"Thanks Decaf," Gabby said, brushing a finger down his cheek. "I'm very happy today."

"Me too," Tony said. "I's sorry I gotsed scared."

"It's alright little one," she said. "Thank you for being so brave."

Gabby kissed Tony on the cheek and stood up to join Craig in front of the pastor. Tony stood up tall and looked at Jethro. He didn't look at all of the people, only his Daddy. Jethro smiled at him and Tony beamed. He was a very brave boy.

xxx

After the wedding, the Gibbses piled into the car and hurried down the road to the shed where the changing rooms were. There were showers and restrooms, and an area where you could change clothes. Jethro and Tony stayed in the car while Shannon and Kelly rushed inside. They had a few minutes before the reception began and wanted to change. A few minutes later they came back wearing green dresses again, but much simpler ones this time—they looked more comfortable—like something they would normally wear. Shannon put their dresses in the back of the SUV and they climbed inside.

"That feels better," Shannon said breathlessly. "Doesn't it Kells?" She turned around and looked at Kelly. The reception was on the beach and they needed to hurry.

"Yeah," Kelly agreed. "I still wish I could wear shorts though. Or my swim suit. It's the beach Mom!"

"I know Sweetheart, but this day isn't about us and what we would normally do. Today is for Gabby and we are helping make it extra special for her."

"I know," Kelly said. "But I still wish I could go swimming."

"We'll go swimming soon Princess," Jethro said from the driver seat. They were already speeding back down the road to the section on the beach where the reception was going to be held.

Tony didn't know what a reception was. All he knew was that he wanted to take off his shoes. The sandals were rubbing a bit and he wanted to kick 'em off and put his toes in the sand. When they arrived at the parking lot, Tony slid out of the car and looked sadly at his feet. "Daddy can I take off my shoes?" he asked.

"Mmmm let's leave 'em on for now," he said. Tony looked up at him with a cloudy gaze and Jethro narrowed his eyes. "You ok?" he asked.

"My feet hurting," Tony whispered. "I sorry."

Jethro opened the hatch on the SUV and sat Tony up on the back bumper. "Let's take a look," he said. He pulled off Tony's sandal and raised his eyebrows at the blister on the back of Tony's ankle. "Have these been hurting you all day?"

Tony nodded. "I got some sand in 'em earlier and I think it made it hurt."

Gibbs motioned for Shannon to come look. "Think we can let him go without his sandals?" he asked.

Shannon nodded. "I think that'd be ok. Kelly you can take your shoes off too if you like. I'm sure there will be lots of people there without their shoes. And that blister needs air and to not be irritated. Let's clean it up before we go to the reception."

"Will it hurt?" Tony asked, his eyes widening.

"You remember that day you fell and scraped your knee running back from the park?" Shannon asked him. Tony nodded. "Remember how I cleaned your knee up?"

"That hurt some," Tony said softly.

Shannon kissed his nose. "This won't hurt that much," she said. "Mommy will fix it ok?" She reached around behind Tony and pulled out the first aid kit.

"Ok," Tony agreed. "Mommy?" he winced when his ankle stung while Mommy cleaned it and put a bandaid on it.

"Yeah babe?"

Jethro swung Tony up on his shoulders and the little boy squealed with delight. "What's a reception?"

Shannon smiled at her two children. Kelly was listening intently trying to figure it out as well. "A reception is like a big party," Shannon said. "There will be fancy tables, and fancy food, and a really big cake."

Tony's face exploded in a wide smile. "I love cake!" he exclaimed. Indeed, ever since his parents had given him his first birthday cake a year ago, the child had developed quite a love for the tasty sweet. It seemed he couldn't get enough of it. "Will it be strawberry flavored?" Because only strawberry cake would do.

"Mmmm I think Gabby said it's vanilla flavored," Shannon said.

"I like strawberry better," Tony said thoughtfully as they headed for the big white tent, "But I think vanilla will be yummy too."

"I think you're right Tony," Jethro said with a chuckle. "Let's go see, yeah?"

xxx

The reception was great fun and filled with lots of music and good food and dancing. Kelly and Tony were finishing their cake at the table with Jethro and Shannon when Shannon suddenly tossed her fork down on the table and smiled at Jethro. "We have to dance," she said excitedly. Tony and Kelly looked at each other curiously, wondering why Mommy suddenly wanted to dance. Jethro was already on his feet, smiling. He nodded and held out his hands. "Kelly you and Tony sit here," Shannon said, taking Jethro's hand. "We're going right over here to dance. Do not wander off. We will be back in three minutes."

Tony and Kelly watched their parents—both of them smiling. The kids didn't know what was so special about the song, but it was obviously something big. Kelly put her elbows on the table and cupped her chin, watching her mommy and daddy as they hugged each other close and swayed to the music. "I want to marry a man like daddy one day," she said dreamily.

Tony looked at Kelly with raised eyebrows and then looked back at Mommy and Daddy. "But Kelly they're being yucky," Tony said.

"I know," Kelly said. "But they're only yucky to each other because they love each other so much."

Tony thought about that. "Do you think it'll be yucky when we get big?" he asked his sister. Kelly was nine years old—she was practically grown up—she knew lots of things.

"I don't know," Kelly said, and she sounded truly mystified. "But listen to the words of the song…I think Mommy and Daddy must know this song!"

Tony looked at Mommy and Daddy again. They were smiling at each other and Shannon was singing the words. She'd sang him enough songs that he knew her voice. And the words to the song sounded really nice…like something Daddy would like Mommy to sing to him…

"I got you and I still believe…That you're all that I'll ever need…It's you…All…It's the end of the century…I can't think of anything…Except you…It's the end of the century…And I can't think of anything…But you're all, all, I, need…I got you…I got you, babe…I got you…"

"I think Daddy must like that song," Tony said to Kelly, and the little girl nodded.

"I think so," Kelly agreed. "Awww he's kissing her," she smiled.

"Hey Kelly?" Tony asked softly.

"Yeah?" Kelly took a bite of cake.

"Why did Mommy and Daddy get married?"

Kelly looked at him like he'd grown another head. "Cause they love each other silly! That's what you do when you love someone! You marry them!"

Tony took another bite of his cake and licked the icing off the fork. "Does that mean we gotta marry Mommy and Daddy too?" he asked.

Kelly looked at him blankly. "Huh?"

"You said if we loves someone we gots a marry them. Well we loves Mommy and Daddy! Do we marry them?"

"No they're our mommy and daddy!"

It was about that time that the song ended. Jethro and Shannon hugged and kissed one more time then held hands while they walked back to the table.

"Hi guys," Jethro said. "You two ok?"

"Can we dance too?" Kelly wanted to know.

Jethro and Shannon smiled at each other. Another song was already starting, so they nodded. "Sure Princess," Jethro said. He bowed to her and held out his hand. "May I have this dance?" Kelly giggled and nodded. She grabbed her daddy's hand and they headed for the dance floor. Tony and Shannon watched for a moment as Kelly put her feet on top of Jethro's and the two began swaying around the dance floor.

Tony looked up at Shannon. He decided he wanted to be like his daddy. He held out his hand and bowed just like Jethro had done. "Mommy? Will you give me a dance?" he asked. Shannon giggled and nodded. "I'd be honored to," she answered. She let him lead them out to the dance floor and then he stopped and looked up at her. "Um. How you dance?" he asked sheepishly. "I don't know how to dance."

Shannon took both of his hands. "Well we can hold hands like this and we move in the same direction," she guided him in a sideways step and then back again. "Like this."

Tony smiled and the two of them began swaying slowly to the music. A photographer walked by and smiled at the parents with their children. Everyone looked so happy…it was a moment to preserve. "May I take your pictures?" she asked.

Everyone nodded and continued dancing. The photographer snapped two pictures and then moved along. Gabby was swaying around the dance floor with Craig and Jacob and they were smiling and giggling. Everyone was having a good time. Tony smiled over at Gabby, who winked at him. It was a perfect moment. Tony didn't know if he'd ever been more content and happy feeling. This was a good day.

Tony thought that this might be the reason people got married.

xxx

The following week Tony was up at the playground with Sasha. He was throwing the ball and Sasha was racing off after it and then bringing it back to him. He glanced around, wondering where his friend was. It was summer vacation and so Tony knew that Scott wasn't at school. He'd selected to go to a summer day camp during his summer vacation. Tony had been pleased to see Scott joining him at camp on the first day. But Scott hadn't come to camp today either. Tony wondered if his friend was sick. He called for Sasha and hooked her leash on her. Kelly was on the swings. "I gonna walk down to Scott's house Kelly!" Tony called.

"They're not home," Kelly called back. She slowed her swing down and jumped to the ground.

Tony waited for her to join him. "Where are they?" he asked. "Scott always comes out to play and he didn't come to camp today either."

Kelly looked worried. "Scott's daddy left today," she said. "So did Maddie's daddy." Scott was Tony's best friend, and Maddie was Kelly's.

"Where'd they go?" Tony asked. His tummy was feeling funny. This didn't seem right to him.

"Don't know," Kelly shrugged. "They hadda go on deployment."

Tony recalled the other day when his daddy had talked about deployment. That was when mommies and daddies had to go away on the long trips because they work for the marines. "Is they gonna come back?"

"I hope so," Kelly said softly.

"How long they gonna be gone for?"

Kelly shrugged. "Don't know," she said.

Tony looked at her and huffed exasperatedly. "You don't know a lot," he said.

Kelly stuck out her tongue at him good naturedly. "Nobody gets to know anything about deployments."

"Is Daddy gonna hafta go onna deployment?"

Kelly bit her lower lip. She remembered the last time Daddy had gone away on deployment. It was before Tony had come to live with them. Someone had hurt his knee and he was on crutches when he came home. It made her sad to think about her beloved daddy having to leave again. "I hope not," she whispered.

"Did Daddy have ta go onna deployment before?" Tony asked.

Kelly was quiet for a long time and then nodded. Her entire mood was different. "I wanna go home now," she said softly and turned, heading out of the park. She waved at the mom who was sitting on the bench watching the kids. After everything that happened last summer there was always a mom or a dad in the park. Tony and Sasha hurried after her and together they walked home.

Jethro and Shannon were sitting at the kitchen table when the kids came back in. Kelly rushed over to Jethro and practically climbed him. She hugged him tightly, her little body trembling ever so slightly. Jethro looked at Shannon, puzzled, and hugged Kelly back. "Ok Kells?" he asked.

Kelly nodded, but didn't speak. She said she was ok, but Jethro and Shannon knew better. Their Kelly was never quiet or clingy. Something was up. "Baby girl?" Shannon tried. "Wanna talk about it? Whatever it is we'll make it right."

Tony slid into his chair at the dining room table. "It's my fault," he said sullenly.

Jethro smoothed Kelly's hair gently and peered over her shoulder at Tony. "What happened to Kelly Tony?" he asked gently.

Tony sniffled and looked at his lap. "I was talkin' about Scott and wonderin' where he was today…and she told me that his daddy left today onna deployment. And Maddie's daddy left today too…"

Jethro shifted Kelly so she was sitting sideways in his lap. "Ok…" he said. When Tony didn't continue Jethro pressed him gently. "I'm not angry Tony. Just trying to figure out what happened."

"We just started talking about deployments and Tony was askin' a lotta questions and it made me think about when you went away last time and you came back and your leg was hurt and you was on crutches and it scared me and I don't want you to have to go away again!" Kelly wailed.

Jethro hugged her and rested his chin on top of her head. "Ok…" he said. "It's gonna be ok."

"Daddy?" Tony's voice wobbled unsteadily. Shannon reached over and held onto his hand gently. "Daddy you gonna have to go away too?"

Jethro took a deep breath. "Maybe," he said. "I haven't been on a deployment in a couple of years."

"What will happen to us if you go away?" Tony's face was filled with horror. It seemed the conversation the other day had just skimmed the surface on the topic and now Tony was facing the reality of the situation for the first time.

"Well, you three will stay here. And if it's during the school year you'll go to school and you'll take Kelly to dance class, and Mommy will go to work, and the only difference is I will be away on a trip. Might be a long trip where I would be gone for a few months, or could be a short trip where I'm only gone for a few weeks."

"Will you go to the same place where Scott's Daddy and Maddie's Daddy is?"

"I don't know Tony," Jethro said sympathetically. He wished he had better answers. "And…depending on when and where I get called to…I might not be able to tell you. It might be a secret. Sometimes I can't tell because it isn't safe."

Tony's eyes widened and Kelly whimpered. "Is you gonna…" Tony couldn't finish the question.

"Daddy is going to do his job and he is going to stay as safe as possible doing it," Shannon said gently but firmly. "Isn't that right Daddy?" She said.

Jethro nodded. "Of course! My job is to make sure everyone stays safe—including me. But part of my job means that sometimes I have to go away on long trips. I know that's tough for you to understand, though." The children both nodded. "But," he continued. "I have not received any orders saying I am deploying any time soon. So for now there's no reason to worry or be upset. If I get the orders that I have to leave, I will tell you as soon as I know ok? And we'll work on ways for you not to be scared, and we'll talk about ways we can stay in touch while I'm gone. It's not like you won't get to talk to me ok?"

Tony thought that sounded scary, but he trusted Daddy when he said he didn't have orders to go yet.

xxx

That night, after the children were in bed, Jethro sat on the couch. The television was off. There was no music playing. There were no lights on. Shannon stumbled sleepily down the stairs and joined him, sitting with him in the dark living room on the futon he'd built for Tony last summer. Shannon frowned. Something was bothering Jethro.

"Babe," she said softly, snuggling under his arm. He squeezed her gently and kissed the top of her head. "It's the middle of the night Jethro. Why aren't we in bed?"

He let out a quiet sigh. "Can't sleep," he murmured softly.

"That's not like you," Shannon said. "You're one of those hard core marines who can go to sleep anywhere. I've seen you do it. You don't usually miss out on sleep. What's bothering you?"

Jethro looked at her in the darkness, wondering how she'd gotten to know him so well, how even after all this time she could read him like a book—and seemed to enjoy the story that he had to tell because she never left him. She was his fierce lioness. She was always by his side, ready to help him take on the world.

"I need to check into the life insurance policies, and update the notification preferences," he said softly. "Need to make sure my will is updated."

Shannon tensed against him. "You think you're going to deploy soon?"

Jethro shrugged. "I'm not sure," he said. "I haven't heard anything specific, but scuttlebutt around the base is that a lot of units are being deployed. Some big projects going on."

"Are you worried about it?"

"I'm not worried about me," he said quickly. He sighed. "I'm worried about the kids. You. What me leaving will do to you. It's going to be tough on you if I get deployed."

"We've done it before," Shannon reassured him. "Kelly won't like it, but you know she can adapt. She's a military brat," the affectionate smile was audible in Shannon's voice. "And she and I will help Tony through it. He'll have some difficulty being away from you, but I think he'll be alright."

Jethro turned to her. "You think so?" he asked. "I mean…if I get the call it isn't like I have a choice…but…I just…I don't want to leave you guys and it be bad for you…I signed up for this and I know that, but it sometimes seems so unfair that you all are sucked up in this too…"

"Hey Mister," Shannon said, iron in her tone. "Listen to me. I knew what I was getting myself into. I signed up for this right along with you." She kissed the corner of his mouth and used one finger to turn him to face her. "And I do not regret any of it. Kelly and Tony and I will be fine. We're tough. You do what you have to do and we've got your six. We're going to be just fine. All you have to worry about is coming back to us in one piece."

Jethro hugged her tighter and kissed her passionately. "I love you," he breathed. "I'll come home to you. Promise. I'll always come home."

Shannon smiled, knowing it could be an empty promise, but not letting that dampen the power in his words. "I know you will Gunny," she said. "And I love you too."

TBC…

This is the lyrics to the song that Jethro and Shannon had played at their wedding…the same song they were singing and dancing to in the wedding. ;)

**"I Got You (At The End Of The Century)"**

I got you and it's all I need  
I got you  
I got you and I still believe  
That you're all that I'll ever need  
It's you  
All  
All the way back in the seventies  
You were my little TV. queen  
Y'er Tarzan and friend Janine  
I got you  
I got you and I still believe  
That you're all that I'll ever need  
It's you  
All  
It's the end of the century  
I can't think of anything  
Except you  
It's the end of the century  
And I can't think of anything  
But you're all, all, I, need  
I got you  
I got you, babe  
I got you


	3. Summer 3

**WARNING: TISSUE ALERT! Go get your box of Kleenex! I needed them to write it, so you'll probably need them to read it! Angst ahead.  
****Spoilers for Daddy's Boy and Breaks & Repairs in this chapter.**

_Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats, for all your help with this story! You're awesome!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 3: Summer 3**

As much anxiety that was raised by the fear of Jethro deploying, it seemed to come and go as the days passed and Jethro didn't receive any orders for deployment. The children relaxed, Shannon relaxed some, and Jethro relaxed a bit more with each bit of double checking he did on his information, insuring that IF he was called to deploy, everything was set and ready for him to leave. He'd checked into his insurance policies, making sure that Shannon was the one the money would be payable to in case of his death. He'd checked into notification procedures and lists so that if he was deployed and injured or killed, Shannon would be the one receiving the visit from the Marines informing her of what had happened. He didn't feel so much like he was borrowing trouble. He was a Marine, and he'd been on several deployments before. He knew what to expect. He knew the possibilities of what could happen—even when there wasn't a war happening, as was the case now. Even on a peacetime deployment, shit could still happen. Sometimes things just go wrong.

There'd been a war raging in the Middle East for several years now, and it was finally drawing to a close. Jethro had spent some time in Egypt early on in the war, and had come home unscathed. On his next deployment, he'd been sent to Iraq, right into Baghdad where the bombs were exploding all around him and where the faces of innocents looked pleadingly to him, as though he would somehow be able to singlehandedly stop this war. He'd caught some shrapnel with his left knee when an IED exploded. The resulting knee injury had sent him home from his deployment early, and had him on crutches and medical leave until his unit returned. Kelly had been thrilled that her Daddy was home. Jethro was not amused. Not because he wanted to be in the middle of a warzone, but because, as a Marine, he felt as though he'd let his superiors, his unit, and his country down when he'd gotten injured. Shortly after his leg was healed up, he was right back to work, and the work he'd done in Iraq, along with the injury and his hard work to overcome it, had earned him a promotion. That was how Sergeant Gibbs had become a Gunnery Sergeant.

Things were quiet around the world now. Peaceful in most places. There weren't any huge altercations, no huge theaters of war to mobilize into right now. What there _was_, however, was a lot of cleaning up to do. Part of the task of the American military, is to clean up after itself. Once it mobilizes into a country or territory and sets up an occupation there, a base is set up, barracks, everything that would be needed in order to host whatever branch of the military was in the area. Once that time had past, and the military's presence was no longer needed, it was the job of the military to remove itself from that country. Bases and barracks needed to be taken down, tents removed, mobile hospitals would be broken down. If there were arms or evidence of any type it would be carefully transported back onto American soil for processing and storage. Jethro figured if he had a guess to make, in the event he got deployed, it would likely be on a Clean Up Mission, and not into active combat.

And he was fine with that. If he was sent into combat he'd be fine with that too. He was a Marine, and his first responsibility was to be a Marine and do what he was told and go where he was sent without question or complaint. His second responsibility was to make sure his family was taken care of. He thought that by double checking everything early on and having things mostly ready to go, that if and when he did get the orders, instead of spending all of his time scurrying around preparing everything, he'd be able to spend that time with his family, with his children, hopefully some time with his dad—he'd use a bit of the time to make last minute preparations, but mostly he'd spend that time making sure his kids and his family were going to be alright once he left. He'd spend that time making sure each one of them knew how much he loved them, and he'd do everything in his power to make the transition as easy for them as possible.

Towards the end of June, Gibbs slipped into the house one afternoon just before dinnertime. Kelly and Tony were both still outside playing and hadn't come in yet, so Jethro had a moment to speak to Shannon before the two rambunctious kids plowed into the house for dinner.

"Hey babe," he said with a smile as he stepped to the sink to wash his hands.

"Hi honey," Shannon greeted him warmly. She turned and slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him, pressing her face close against his chest. "How was your day?"

"Mmmm long and boring," Jethro said, returning the embrace. Shannon squealed when his cold wet hands rubbed against the skin on her back not covered by her sleeveless shirt.

"Ack! Cold! Jethro!" She swatted him with a dishtowel.

"What did I do?" Jethro said innocently with a huge grin. "Just because I want to hug my beautiful wife when I get home—" he stepped towards her again, hands outstretched.

"Ohhhh no ya don't mister," Shannon said, twisting the dishtowel menacingly.

They'd been known to have epic water and food fights back before they had children.

"Ok, Ok," Jethro took the towel from her and dried his hands. Then he pulled her into an embrace and hugged her tightly, smelling her hair deeply. "I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too Gunny," she said. "You seem sad. What's wrong?"

"Went and redid my will this afternoon," Jethro mumbled softly. It was necessary, and he'd been very thorough, leaving no stone unturned and no eventuality unaccounted for. But it had left him feeling a bit sad, a bit needy, a bit clingy to the woman who was his rock.

Shannon put her hands lightly on his cheeks. "You ok?" she asked, looking into his eyes. His eyes would give her information his lips never would.

"I'm fine," Jethro said softly, but his eyes spoke the fear, anxiety and sadness he was feeling. Fear that something would happen, that he'd get killed overseas somewhere, fear that he'd die alone, or that he wouldn't make it back. Fear that the will would be needed. Sad that he wouldn't get to see his kids grow up or that something would happen that he'd miss because he was away doing his service to his country. He loved his country, but it was so difficult to leave these precious little ones and their beautiful mother behind. And he was worried that he'd forget something. That he'd overlook some detail that would make a difference in the outcome for Shannon and the kids. He wanted nothing other than for all of them to have a happy life together. He wanted to do everything in his power to make sure that if he wasn't there to live it with them, that he'd still help them to always have everything they could need or want.

"That's hard," Shannon said. She remembered how frightened she'd been the first deployment when Jethro had to do all of this stuff for the first time. Now it was almost routine, old hat, Jethro had been in the Marines as long as he'd known Shannon…this life was all they knew, but there were days when it was still tough. She had her own list of things that she'd been working on updating, too. She had to update her DEERS, giving the Marine Corps all the addresses and information they'd need to contact her in the event that Jethro got deployed and something happened. She and Jethro were working in the evenings, practicing putting in storm windows so she could do it by herself, and he was supposed to show her how to crank up the furnace too, in case Jethro was gone during the colder months. The furnace and windows were different in this house than they'd been in other base housing they'd lived in when Jethro had gone away on deployment. If it came down to it, Shannon could call Base Maintenance and get them to come help her get the furnace going, but Jethro knew Shannon was a very independent woman who liked to use her hands and get her own results—he knew she wanted to know how to do all of this on her own. And this furnace was newer and trickier to get going than the heat had been in previous base houses.

"Yeah," Jethro agreed. "It is hard. But it's necessary. And now I can sleep better knowing that if something happens that you all will absolutely be taken care of."

"I'm glad," Shannon said. "I worked on the DEERS today. I'm trying to make sure I've got all of the addresses and phone numbers correct before I submit it."

"That's good," Jethro said. He glanced out the backdoor where Kelly and Tony were splashing in the sprinkler. "How are the kids today?"

"They're so funny," Shannon said. She'd had the day off and so she'd kept the kids at home with her.

"How long do we have before dinner?"

Shannon peeked in the oven. "About a half hour," she said. "Wanna get the kids inside and start drying them off for dinner? I'll stay here and keep at this."

"Sounds good. I'll give 'em a five minute heads up that they gotta come inside and go get their towels ready for them." Jethro turned and headed up the stairs.

"The kids are outside?" Shannon said, curious about why Jethro was heading up the stairs.

He turned and smiled. "I know," he winked. He hurried up the stairs and a moment later was back with two towels. He threw them in the dryer and clicked it on. "I hate wrapping up wet in stiff towels," Jethro commented. Shannon smiled and shook her heads. That man certainly spoiled those children rotten—they were both going to grow up to be total hedonists if they weren't careful.

Opening the backdoor, Jethro stepped out onto the back porch. "Hey!" he whistled at them and the two children froze and two little wet heads turned to look at the porch. "Got five minutes before we gotta get ready for dinner," Jethro said.

"DADDY!" Tony squealed. He made a beeline for his daddy, running as fast as his little legs would carry him (which, these days was pretty darn fast) and he all but climbed Jethro when he got to him.

Tony hugged his daddy tightly and Jethro smiled and returned the hug, not caring for a minute that he was getting grass and mud all over his uniform. "Hi buddy," he said affectionately. "How was your day? Good?"

"We hadda great day Daddy! Only woulda been better if you coulda not hadda work!" Tony said slightly breathlessly. His little glasses had beads of water on them and they were fogging up in the summer humidity.

"I wish I coulda been here with you," he said softly, hugging him a little tighter. He bit back a groan when he saw the very muddy, very wet Sasha who was still frolicking in the sprinkler with Kelly. "Hi baby girl," Jethro called to her.

Kelly stopped and looked at him and smiled. "Hi Daddy!" she said, her auburn pigtail braids glistened in the water and sunlight.

"Bout ready for dinner?" he asked.

"I'm starving!" Tony exclaimed. Kelly nodded, more subdued than her brother.

Jethro eyed her carefully. Something was bugging her. He walked out into the yard, risking getting soaked by the sprinkler and he tugged gently on a pigtail. "What's up kiddo?" he asked.

"Maddie's mad at me," Kelly said. Her voice was like steel, but Jethro could hear the hurt and confusion behind it.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

Kelly sighed and looked up at her Daddy. "She's mad at me because you are here and her daddy is gone. She says it's cause you're a Gunny and her Daddy's just a Sergeant. I told her it was cause you aren't in her daddy's unit, but she didn't believe me. She got mad and told me to go home. So I went home. She's so stupid sometimes," Kelly crossed her arms stubbornly. "I didn't even do anything wrong," she ranted and began pacing.

Jethro sighed. Sometimes the kids got the shortest stick in the deal when it came to being a military family. "Well Princess," he said uneasily, "I bet Maddie is just missing her daddy right now. And I bet from her side of the fence it probably looks pretty unfair that I'm still around to hang out with you guys while her daddy is away. I bet she isn't so mad at you. I bet she's just sad."

Shannon walked out the back door with two warm towels in her hands. "Anybody out here hungry?" she asked.

Tony squirmed out of Jethro's arms and ran for the warm towel. He was shivering and his little bottom lip was bouncing madly up and down. He nearly slipped on the porch step, causing both of his parents to start for a moment—they both remembered last summer when he'd fallen and broken his leg and what a mess that had been. "Take it easy!" Shannon exclaimed, catching him in a hug and wrapping him in a towel. Tony shivered in delight and smiled up at his mommy. He looked so adorable; he'd lost two more teeth in the past few weeks and so his smile was snaggly again.

"Is Kelly ready to eat too?" Shannon called. She could see that her little girl looked unhappy, but figured Jethro was handling it. The little girl was a lot like her daddy in a lot of ways, so he usually could get through to her when she was upset.

"Yeah, I think so. Aren't you Kells?" Jethro said.

Kelly nodded and squealed in surprise when Jethro scooped her up and flung her over his shoulder. He walked over to the house and turned off the water spigot and then headed for the steps. Shannon tossed a towel over Kelly's head and with giggles they all headed inside to get ready for dinner.

xxx

It was the middle of July. Tony was having so much fun in summer camp. Last week they'd gone for a visit up in Stillwater and he'd had to miss a whole week of camp, but now they were back at home and he was back at camp. Mommy and Daddy had picked out a summer camp that let him spend a lot of time working on craft and art projects. Sometimes he got to use wood or carpet or clay to make things, but today he was using different kinds of paper. He was hard at work trying to make a picture of his daddy out of little ripped up pieces of different colored paper, when a noise over by the door caught his attention. It sounded like someone was screaming.

Miss Ellie, Tony's camp counselor, was standing at the door, her eyes wide. She glanced over her shoulder, and Tony could see how worried she looked. Tony glanced around at the other kids in his group. They were all about the same age, a mix of boys and girls, and all of them but two were kids from the base. Miss Ellie rubbed a hand over her mouth and nodded at whoever was in the hallway. The person in the hall—Tony thought it was a woman—sounded pretty upset. She was talking, but Tony couldn't understand what she was saying. Finally, Miss Ellie nodded again and turned around, walking into the room. She walked over to the table where Tony was working and Tony's tummy started feeling funny. As she passed by Tony she ruffled his short, buzzed hair, but kept walking. She pulled out a chair and sat down beside Charlie.

Charlie Jones was Tony's friend at camp. He usually stuck close by Scott and Tony, as they were the same age and Charlie had been in Tony's kindergarten class at school. He was a bit different than the other kids—he had something that Tony'd heard someone call "special needs" but Tony didn't think that Charlie was any different or any more special than he was. He wore a brace on his leg like Tony used to wear though, and he couldn't run and jump like the other kids. Tony didn't mind that so much. He usually stuck close to Charlie when he was around, because he remembered how nice it was to have people want to play with him when he used to wear braces on his legs. Tony did NOT miss his braces. His legs really didn't hurt too much anymore, which made Tony very happy. Sometimes when it was really rainy or if it got cold his legs would still feel like they didn't want to bend very well, but most days he felt like he had brand new legs.

Tony looked around Miss Ellie. She'd pulled up a chair between him and Charlie and sat down. "Charlie," she said gently. Charlie was coloring, but stopped when Miss Ellie said his name and looked at her. "Charlie I think you need to clean up your crayons now sweetheart," Miss Ellie said.

Charlie shook his head stubbornly. "I can't!" he exclaimed. "I'm coloring a picture for my daddy! He gone on a deployment."

The word rang loud in Tony's ears and it made his tummy flip over. He looked up to see what Ellie's reaction was going to be, and he was confused and worried when he saw tears forming in her eyes. Everyone loved Ellie and no one ever wanted to upset her. He looked around at Charlie. "Charlie you made Miss Ellie cry!" he retorted.

"I sorry Miss Ellie," Charlie said contritely. "I just wanna finish my picture for my Daddy."

Miss Ellie let out a slow breath and Tony really thought she was going to cry. "Sweetie. Honey you've got to go home. Your Mommy and her friend are here to pick you up."

"Why I gotta go home? We haven't had lunch yet?" Charlie wanted to know.

"I think your Mommy needs your help this afternoon," Miss Ellie told him.

"No she don't," Charlie shook his head. "Mommy gotta work this afternoon. That's why I come to camp!"

"She's off work this afternoon Charlie," Miss Ellie said. "And she needs you to go home with her." Her voice was cracking. Miss Ellie was going to cry.

Charlie looked at her. Something was wrong. "Miss Ellie?" Charlie asked. "Why you sad?"

Miss Ellie helped Charlie stand up and pulled him over close to her in a hug. "Oh Sweetheart," she said softly, and Tony watched to tears drip down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry you have to leave today. I know you want to stay. But…your mommy got some bad news this morning. And she needs you to go home with her."

Charlie's eyes filled with fear and he stared at her. "Can I take my picture for my daddy?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper. "I have crayons at home."

Miss Ellie sighed and several more tears dripped down her face as she nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "Absolutely sweetheart."

The door swung open then and Charlie's mom walked inside the room. There was another lady with her. They both looked like they'd been crying. Their eyes had red spots around them like his and Kelly's eyes got when they cried too hard. Charlie's mom looked kind of sick too. Tony wondered what was wrong.

When Charlie saw his mommy, his eyes widened. "Mommy?" he whispered. He'd obviously never seen his mommy look like this before. "Are you ok?"

Charlie's mommy dropped to her knees and Charlie walked over to her. He gave her a big hug. "Don't be sad Mommy," he said. "Look I'm coloring Daddy a picture! But I'll make you one too if you want me to."

Charlie's mom started crying really hard then. Charlie pulled back a bit, unsure of what he'd said that made his mommy so sad. "Mommy," he whispered. "Why you so sad?"

Charlie's mom wiped her face with the crumpled tissue in her hand and tried to stop crying. "Oh Charlie," she whimpered. "I got…I got a visit this morning. About your daddy."

"Who visited?" Charlie asked. "Is Daddy coming home?"

"It was two marines, Sweetheart. They came to tell me…to tell _us_…honey there was an accident."

"What kinda accident? Is Daddy hurt?"

"Yes Sweetheart, he got hurt."

"He need a bandaid? Its good I am making him a picture. That will make him happy."

"No baby…he…he doesn't need a bandaid. He…he um…he went to heaven Charlie. Daddy died. I'm so sorry baby."

Charlie froze. Tony didn't think he'd ever seen anyone stand so still. He slowly got up out of his chair and looked at Scott who was over at the sand art table, but watching closely too. Tony moved up next to Charlie and took his hand. "You ok Charlie?" he asked softly.

"My daddy was going on a deployment and he went to heaven." Tony's friend looked at him. "Mommy said he died." Charlie turned back to his mommy. "Is Daddy coming home?" he asked again.

"They're going to bring him home. But…but it's just his body honey. Daddy…Daddy's gone. We need to go home. I need you to help me this afternoon, can you do that?"

Charlie seemed dazed as his mommy rose to her feet and took his hand. At the last moment he turned around and he gave Tony a hug. "Bye Tony," he said. Tony hugged him back and looked at him. Charlie looked like he was going to cry. "Don't let your daddy go onna deployment Tony," he whispered. He threw the picture he'd been so diligently working on into the trashcan. Then he turned around and walked out the door with his Mommy.

xxx

Shannon had just settled down at the nurse's station to take a bite of her ham sandwich when the phone rang. She sighed and set the sandwich down. "Nurse's desk, PICU," Shannon said pleasantly. No matter how stressful things got on the floor, she always tried to stay pleasant. Most of the people calling her desk were stressed out, scared, and upset to begin with. She knew she could either make that better or worse.

"_I need to speak to Shannon Gibbs, please,"_ a breathless voice said on the other end.

"This is Shannon," she replied. She narrowed her eyebrows wondering who could be on the phone.

"_This is Miss Ellie from the daycamp,"_ Ellie told her. _"Tony's counselor."_

"Hi Sweetie!" Shannon said. "What's up?"

"_I think Tony needs to go home, if you can manage it,"_ Ellie said gently. _"He's pretty upset. He's gotten sick a couple of times."_

"Oh my goodness, what happened?"

"_One of the other children…his father was killed while he was on deployment and the child got the news this morning. Here."_

Shannon's eyes closed. She hated it when Marines died. It made her so sad. "And Tony heard it?"

"_He heard all of it. It was one of his good friends,"_ Ellie said. "_I wish I could tell you more, but…confidentiality…"_

"Yes, yes I understand." Shannon glanced at the clock. "I'll go talk to my supervisor and let her know what's going on. Either Jethro or I will be there to get him soon."

"_Thanks Mrs. Gibbs,"_ Ellie said. Shannon could hear the relief in her tone.

Shannon got off the phone and sat in stunned silence for a long moment. Then she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number. After a couple of rings there was an answer. "Jewel? It's Shannon." Jewel was Scott's mommy. "Is Jeremiah alright?" Jeremiah was Scott's daddy, and he was away on deployment. He'd been gone since the middle of June…

"_I hope so? Shannon what's going on? What's happened?"_ Jewel sounded scared.

"I just got a call that one of the kids in Tony's group…his father was killed while he was away on deployment. Miss Ellie said the child is very good friends with Tony. So of course, I immediately thought of you all," Shannon replied. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"_Yes, yes we're all fine. Scott is still at camp and I just talked to Jeremiah last night. I wonder who died?"_ Jewel wondered.

"I don't know," Shannon said grimly. "But if I can find out I will let you know."

Shannon hung up and dialed Jethro's number. She hoped he was in the shop near the phone and not out on the range somewhere. Calling him at work was always a crapshoot. You never knew if you were going to reach him or not. He didn't answer at his desk, so she hung up and dialed his cell phone number. After the second ring he answered it.

"_Yeah, Gibbs."_ He hadn't looked at his caller ID before he answered. Shannon almost chuckled. He never answered _her _that way. But she hoped that it didn't mean he was busy.

"Jethro?"

"_Shannon? You ok? What's up?"_

"I think you need to come home," she said softly. "I'm getting off work too."

"_Why what's happened?"_

Shannon closed her eyes and felt the tears stinging behind the lids. "One of Tony's friends…his daddy was on deployment…and he d—he got killed…Tony's falling apart."

"_I'm on my way,"_ Jethro said. _"Want me to pick him up?"_

"If you can get there before I can then yes. I'm going to go tell my boss I need off."

"_I'll get him. See you at home. I love you."_

"I love you too," Shannon whispered. Her brain was filling with dark thoughts. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened. Had anyone else died? Were their friends all safe?

Would Jethro get called away now?

xxx

Tony was leaning over the toilet, coughing and gagging. He wished more than anything that he could see his Daddy. He just wanted to know he was ok. Charlie's words rang in Tony's ears as tears streamed from his eyes. _Don't let your daddy go on deployment Tony. Don't let your daddy go on deployment Tony. Don't let your daddy go on deployment Tony._

But how could he keep his daddy from leaving if he had to go?

xxx

Shannon was walking to the parking lot when her cell phone rang. She glanced at it and frowned. Jethro. "Hello?" she answered urgently.

"_It's me babe,"_ Jethro's voice was equally urgent in her ear_. "Can you get Tony?"_

"Yes," Shannon said. "What's up?"

"_They're calling us into a debriefing about what happened yesterday. It was Charlie's dad who died. I don't know how long the meeting is going to last, but I will be home as soon as I can."_

"Ok," she said. "I'll get Tony and head home. Kelly is at Maddie's house."

"_See you soon,"_ Jethro said and hung up.

xxx

Miss Ellie was wiping Tony's face when Shannon walked in. He was in the bathroom, pale as a ghost, and he was sobbing hysterically. "Look who's here," Miss Ellie said softly to Tony.

Tony looked up and lunged for Shannon. She caught him and hugged him tightly. "Hey baby," she whispered into his hair. He clung to her and sobbed pitifully. It reminded her of the quiet way he used to cry when he hurt so badly before he'd gotten his legs fixed.

"Muh-muh-Momm-meh-meh-meeeeeeee" he wailed.

"Shhhh it's alright Tony," Shannon said. "Take it easy. Shhhh. Wanna go home?"

Tony nodded and seemed to calm a bit. "I want Daddy," he whispered.

"I just talked to Daddy," Shannon said. "He has a meeting to go to, and as soon as his meeting is finished he'll come home and meet us there ok?"

Tony nodded slightly. Suddenly he sucked in a deep breath and turned around. He gagged and heaved again, but was only throwing up bile now. A shaky hand raised to his head. "Owwww," he whimpered.

"Ok," Shannon whispered. She wet a paper towel and put it on the back of Tony's neck and wet another one and gently wiped Tony's face. "Ok big guy, alright," she said.

"My head hurting," Tony whispered raggedly.

Shannon pursed her lips together. Damn his father. That bastard. "We'll go home and take your meds and cool off and get you feeling better ok?" Tony spit into the toilet again and nodded. Shannon helped him stand up and steadied him when he wobbled. She sighed. Tony didn't need a migraine today. That wouldn't help anything. "Ok," she said, being sure to keep her voice toned low. "Mommy's got you ok. Lean on me. We'll go together."

They made it halfway to the car before Tony's balance was too severely affected by his migraine to continue walking. Shannon gently scooped him up. Tony was still pretty light, though much heavier than he'd been when they'd first seen the boy. She settled him in his car seat and pulled the shade down on his window. It was one of the shades that was sold in baby stores, but it worked wonders for blocking out sunlight when Tony had a migraine. At home he had room darkening shades on his windows to help cut the light when he got a migraine. There was a tiny scar on Tony's temple where the doctors had operated last summer. They'd had to do extensive repair work to his eye socket after his father shot a glancing blow with a stolen gun in the courtroom during Tony's father's child abuse trial. They'd managed to fix the resulting deformity in his face, and they'd managed to reduce the scarring substantially, but Tony's peripheral vision was still affected, and he was still plagued by horrible migraines whenever he got upset or stressed. The doctors seemed to think that Tony would likely always have migraine headaches as a result of the injury he obtained from his father.

Shannon got Tony home and helped him up to bed. She helped him change into a lighter t-shirt and he slid his jeans off. Tony had horrible scars on his legs from the surgery he'd had on his leg to repair the broken bones in his legs. He didn't like to wear shorts much as a result. Most days he could be found in jeans. If he was in his backyard playing he'd sometimes wear shorts, but he was horribly uncomfortable in them. Shannon and Jethro didn't force him on it. They just let him wear jeans if he wanted to.

Tony practically collapsed on his bed, exhausted from all the crying and throwing up he'd done, but unable to truly relax. He was so scared. He didn't want his daddy to be sent away on deployment. He didn't before, but now, after what happened to Charlie's daddy…oh there was no way he'd be ok with that. Tony hadn't ever known any marines who got deployed. Since he'd moved on base none of his friends' mommies or daddies had been deployed.

Another thought struck Tony. Would Mommy be sent away? Would she go on deployment too? Tony knew she worked at the hospital on base, but he didn't know if those people had to go on deployments too. He moaned in pain and anxiety and closed his eyes. Shannon came into the room with Tony's medicine for his migraines and sat down on the edge of the bed. Tony sucked the medicine out of the needless syringe and sighed. Shannon ran her fingers lightly over Tony's hair. She didn't speak, because she knew the noise would make his head hurt worse. Sasha hopped up on the bed and curled up at Tony's feet. A moment later, Kelly's reclusive cat, Archie, hopped up on the bed and laid down on the pillow next to Tony's head. Shannon smiled. It was good Tony had a double-sized bed, or else he'd never fit all the pets into bed with him.

It didn't take long for Tony to fall asleep. Shannon sat with him, knowing this was where she needed to be. She glanced at the clock beside the bed and wondered how long it would be before Jethro got to come home.

xxx

Jethro left the meeting and waited outside to talk to his boss. Master Sergeant Johnson was usually really understanding when it came to family stuff. He walked outside and stopped when he saw Jethro. Jethro saluted him, as was protocol, and the MSgt returned the salute. "Gunny," he greeted him. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could head home," Gibbs said.

Johnson raised an eyebrow. "Is everything alright?" Gibbs didn't ask off unless something was wrong.

"My son…Tony was at camp this morning…he's in the same group with little Charlie Jones—Corporal Jones was his father," Gibbs said. "With all the talk about deployments around base, he's been nervous anyway, but he heard what happened to Jones. He was standing right with Little Charlie when he got the news from his mom. It's upset Tony quite badly. I think he and I need to have a talk about what could happen if our unit gets deployed. I need to see if he's ok."

Johnson was already nodding. "Yes, yes of course. Keep your phone handy. If I need you to come back I'll call you. Otherwise I will see you in the morning."

"Thank you sir," Gibbs said and saluted again. Once Johnson had gone, Jethro hurried on his way.

xxx

Jethro pulled into the driveway and parked next to Shannon. He stepped inside the house and put his cover on the table. The house was quiet. Too quiet. Jethro figured Shannon and Tony were probably upstairs in Tony's room. Tony liked to spend time in his room. It was his space and he felt safe there. He stepped quietly up the stairs and down the hall. He stopped in the doorway and frowned when he took in the situation. Tony had a migraine. He could tell by the drawn shades and the way everyone was piled up on Tony's bed. Shannon sat at the foot of the bed with one hand on Tony's ankle, just being with him. Archie and Sasha were curled around him protectively guarding him in his sleep.

Tony's face was pale. He looked horrible. Shannon looked up and saw him and smiled sadly. "Hi babe," she whispered.

"Sorry it took so long," Jethro said softly.

"It's alright," Shannon said. "He hasn't been up for talking. Migraine hit as we were leaving the day camp. I brought him home and went ahead and dosed him up so we can get him past it. Figured there was no reason to wait. He was already stressed and throwing up and crying when I got there." Shannon was quiet for a moment. "I wish they'd told Charlie what happened somewhere else. The kids didn't need to hear that," she whispered.

"I agree," Jethro said. "And we're still not even sure what happened."

"Well…I'm not sure what we're going to do, but we need to figure out some way to ease his fears. He's convinced that everyone who gets deployed is going to die…that's what I gathered from Miss Ellie. She was a doll, she handled Tony so well and didn't upset the other kids, and didn't make Tony feel bad for getting so upset."

"Good," Jethro said. He glanced at Tony and shook his head sadly. "I wish I could fix it. I wish I could guarantee I'd never have to leave you all."

Shannon reached out and took his hand and held it. "You and I both know there's only one way to guarantee that."

Jethro nodded. The only way to avoid getting deployed was to get the heck out of the Marines. But the Marines was all he knew—he'd been in since he was 19. If he left the Marines he'd literally have to start all over again. He didn't know what he'd do. Didn't know what he'd want to do. Didn't know where they'd move or how they'd afford it. He sighed. It didn't matter. He was in for another two years whether they liked it or not.

They would just have to find a way to help Tony get through whatever came their way.

TBC…


	4. One Monday Evening

_Thanks to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats for all your help with this chapter!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 4: One Monday Evening**

Jethro turned out the light in the living room and headed up the stairs. It was late, time for him to sleep (as if he ever got any sleep these days). As he topped the stairs he could hear a soft sound coming from Tony's bedroom. His little boy had slept all afternoon, all evening, through dinner, and up until now not a peep had been heard from him. Jethro paused in the doorway to his son's room and pushed the door open enough to stick his head in.

Tony was sitting up in bed, knees tucked up to his chin, and in his trembling fingers there was a picture frame. A quick glance at the bedside table told Jethro that it was the picture of him and Tony taken the previous year, just before Tony was legally adopted by the Gibbses. Just before his father had shot him. Jethro could see that Tony had tears on his face, silently trickling down his cheeks, accompanied by an occasional sniffle. Pain shot through Jethro's heart when he saw the devastation on his child's face and in his frame as he sat in the mostly darkened room all alone, sobbing his heart out.

"Tony? Buddy?" Jethro spoke softly and frowned when the child startled a bit. Tony quickly wiped at his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was crying.

Jethro moved to the side of the bed and smiled gently down at him. "Can I sit?" he asked.

Tony nodded and Jethro sat down on the bed beside him. He wrapped an arm around Tony and frowned when he flinched. "Hey," he said gently. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong," Jethro said.

Tony sniffled hard and shook his head. "It's nothing. It's dumb."

Gibbs bumped Tony's arm with his own. "Don't think it's dumb or nothing if it's got you this upset. C'mon. Lay it on me. I can take it."

Tony sniffled again and shook his head harder. "The kids said…they said that they can't talk to their mommies and daddies about it because they got too much to worry about to start with," Tony said softly.

Jethro put a finger under Tony's chin and gently lifted his child's gaze so they were looking at each other. "I am never too busy for you. Not ever. If you need to talk to me, then you can talk to me. What's bothering you?"

Tony ran his hands up his arms again and shrugged. "I don't want you to go away," he said softly. "I don't want you to die."

Jethro ran a hand over his face. He'd been afraid of this conversation for a long time, but now it seemed, it was time to have it. He took a deep breath and gently pulled Tony up into his lap. "We don't know if I'm going to have to go away or not," Jethro reminded him. "I might, but I might not. And if I do, that doesn't mean that I'm going to die. Lots of people get deployed and they are safe when they leave, and safe when they come home. What happened to Charlie's daddy…Tony it doesn't happen to everybody."

"But what if it does?" Tony wailed. His lower lip quivered and his eyes were filling with tears again. "Charlie told me today that I should never let you leave. That if you leave you're going to die. Daddy I don't want you to die!" He clutched tightly at Jethro's t-shirt and sobbed into his Daddy's chest.

Jethro wrapped him in a warm, safe hug. "Easy…ok Tony…alright take it easy," he murmured.

Tony cried for several minutes, clutching tightly to his daddy before he calmed slightly. Finally Tony lifted a watery gaze up at his daddy. "Don't go Daddy," he pleaded. "Please don't go. Charlie said I got to make you stay. I don't know how to do that," Tony whispered, and his gaze dropped to his lap.

"Ah Tony," Jethro said. He wondered what would happen if he got orders to deploy. He hugged his boy tightly. "Tell ya what. You know I love you right?"

"Yeah," Tony sniffled again. He settled against his daddy, one ear pressed against his chest so he could listen to his daddy's heartbeat.

"Alright, and you know that if my boss tells me I have to go on a deployment that it isn't because I don't love you right?"

"I know," Tony whispered.

"And you know that I don't want to leave you just as much as you don't want me to leave, right? Maybe even more!"

Tony looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really," Jethro said with a firm nod. "But. I am a Marine. And sometimes we have to go on deployments. It's always hard to leave, but you know what?"

"What?" Tony settled his ear back against Jethro's chest.

"I will do my very best to come home to you in one piece," Jethro promised. "I will stay as safe as I possibly can. And you should know that I will always, always love you, no matter what."

"I love you too Daddy," Tony whispered.

Jethro pressed his cheek to the top of Tony's head and hugged him tightly. The two stayed that way for a long time.

xxx

The next few weeks passed quietly with thankfully no more incidences like what happened with Charlie's daddy. Tony seemed to be calmer about the whole idea of Jethro deploying, which made his parents feel better. Near the end of July the kids went to buy school clothes for the next school year. New backpacks, new lunchboxes, pencils, all of the things that children need to go to school. One Saturday afternoon, Shannon, Jethro and the kids were at the mall up in Los Angeles wandering around when Jethro's cell phone rang.

He pulled it out and glanced at it and frowned. "Yeah Gibbs," he answered after he flipped it open.

Tony stopped walking and looked at him. His little gut twisted. He didn't like this. Daddy didn't get phone calls like that on the weekends…

"Yessir," Gibbs said. "I understand sir. No problem. Sure, I'll let the others know." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that Jet?" Shannon asked. Jethro couldn't see her, as she was buried in a clothes rack digging for bargains. Seriously the woman was like a shopping bloodhound—if there was a discount or a deal to be found, Shannon had it. Jethro sometimes teased her about being a grocery store ninja—she could go into a store, buy whatever she needed, use coupons, and sometimes the store ended up owing her money instead of the other way around. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

"That was Master Sergeant," Jethro replied.

Tony slapped a hand over his stomach and looked up at his daddy. Jethro smiled gently down at him. "Ok?"

Tony shook his head. "I don't like it," he said softly.

Jethro knelt in front of him. "What don't you like?"

"You never get calls like that on Saturdays?" Tony said softly. "Why did he call today?"

"To tell me about a meeting I have to go to on Monday," Jethro replied. "He wanted me to call and let the other people in my unit know." Jethro had a bad feeling he knew what this meeting would be, but he didn't dare tell Tony yet. Not until he knew for sure. He shot a quick glance at Shannon who popped out of the rack at his words. The look was easily understood. _Don't say anything._

"Oh," Tony said. "Meetings sound boring."

"They can be extreeeeeeeeeemely boring," Jethro said. "I bet this one will be. I'll have to drink LOTS of coffee before I go to it. What do you think?"

Tony smiled. "Coffee makes you have to pee a lot doesn't it?" he asked.

Jethro chuckled. "Yep."

"Then yeah. You should drink lots of coffee. Then you don't have ta stay for all of it," Tony giggled. "Sneaky Daddy."

Jethro smiled. He had a feeling this would be a meeting he'd not only need to stay for, but that he'd need to be paying very close attention in. He ruffled Tony's hair, wondering how he'd ever tell Tony he was likely going to have to leave.

xxx

Monday morning a few minutes before 0800, Gibbs found himself sitting in a conference room in one of the many offices on base. He was joined by the other people in his unit, a mix of talented men and women, all of whom were entrusted to his care. He glanced idly around the room, smiling at several of his Marines, leveling a stare at some of the others. Joyner was sporting a hangover this morning, Gibbs noticed, and he raised an eyebrow at the young man. The lowest ranking person in Gibbs' unit was a young woman, newly transferred to the unit, sent there to replace Pedro Hernandez who was still missing and believed to be hiding in Mexico. The young woman's name was Sarah, and she was a Private First Class. This was her first year in the Marines. She was from a small town in Idaho and she wanted to be a nurse. Gibbs had invited her and her husband over for dinner one night so that Sarah could speak to Shannon about the process of becoming a nurse and what all that entailed. She was a sweet kid, and a damn good Marine. Gibbs could easily imagine Sarah moving up through the ranks easily.

Master Sergeant Johnson entered the conference room at precisely 0800. "Good morning," he said. The Marines all murmured their good mornings back to him, but glanced at each other uneasily. Some of the higher ranking Marines had already guessed what this meeting was, but others, like Sarah, weren't sure what was going on.

"I've called you here this morning to discuss something with you. The details of this conversation, unless otherwise specified, will remain classified for the time being."

The people in the room looked at each other, concern filling each person's face. This didn't sound good.

xxx

After the meeting was over, Jethro's unit was given the day off and told to report back in the morning. The young gunny headed home, weariness settling in his bones. He needed to talk to Shannon. He knew that now would be the time for them to talk. Tony was at camp and Kelly was likely with Maddie Tyler. He parked his car and walked up onto the front porch. He could hear the television on and figured his wife was likely doing the ironing—she always washed all the clothes on Sunday night and always ironed them on Monday morning. She worked twelve hour shifts Tuesdays through Fridays, so she was always grateful for the long weekends.

"Shannon?" he called quietly as he stepped inside.

She looked up and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw who it was. A quick glance to the clock told her something was up. "Hey Sweetie! What are you doing here?"

Jethro was right, Shannon was ironing. "We um…come sit with me," he said, moving to the futon he'd built the summer before. He clicked off the television.

"Jethro you're scaring me," Shannon said. "What's wrong?"

"We had that meeting this morning," Jethro said softly. "The one that Master Sergeant called me on Saturday about."

A shaking hand rose to Shannon's mouth as the puzzle pieces fell into place. She was quiet for a long moment, taking in everything Jethro hadn't told her yet. Finally she took a deep breath. "When…um…when do you go?" her voice was soft. Though she was a rockstar in Jethro's eyes when it came to deployments, it was never easy to hear that one was coming.

"Five weeks," Jethro said softly, folding his hands and looking at his lap.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Yes," he said simply. She nodded. He couldn't tell her. She knew that.

"Are you going to be in combat?"

Jethro lifted his gaze and looked at her for a long moment. "I um…they said it's classified," he said softly. "I'm so sorry Shannon. You know I'd tell you if—"

"Don't apologize," Shannon said firmly. She wrapped an arm around Jethro's waist and together they leaned back on the couch. She was content to be near him, to let him hold her as much as possible, and to let the rest of the world pass them by for a few minutes.

Finally though, Jethro spoke. "Will you…will you help me tell the kids?"

"Of course," Shannon said. "Oh honey Tony's going to be devastated…Kelly won't be happy, but she's been through it…"

"It's going to be tough to explain to him that I can't say where I'm going or anything." Jethro looked at Shannon, and he had such a hangdog expression on his face that she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "This is going to be so hard for him. For all of you. I wish it was different."

"It's going to be fine," Shannon said. "We are a Marine family, and this is part that. We'll show Tony the ropes. He'll be alright."

Jethro had never experienced the emotions relating to a deployment quite as strongly as he was feeling them now. He'd always been a proud Marine. Shannon had been with him as long as he'd been in the Marines. She was used to it. The deployments, while never fun, were familiar. This would be Jethro's fifth deployment. The last deployment Jethro had been on was right in the middle of the Gulf War. He'd taken some shrapnel to his knee and was sent home on crutches two months before the rest of his unit. He'd never liked leaving Shannon behind. Hated it even more when he had to leave her and Kelly behind. But now this…to leave the three people in his life who meant more to him than his own life…it was hell. Pure, unadulterated, absolute hell. But the misery over leaving warred with pride over being selected to do the job. He was a Marine first. His job was to save the world. And he'd picked himself a wife who would manage the homefront for him while he was away.

Part of the reason Jethro loved Shannon so much was because she was so strong, and because she could handle things so well without him. She wasn't one of those waify women who needed help with every little task. Shannon was not afraid to get down and dirty, to do whatever needed to be done while he was away. She was so independent, in fact, that usually when he came home from a deployment there was some tension between them as she learned to share the tasks again.

Jethro and Shannon sat close together for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's quiet company. Finally Shannon looked up at him. "Five weeks?" Jethro nodded. "Well I think we need to be booking a flight. When is your leave?"

"I get three weeks of leave starting next week," Jethro said.

"Perfect," Shannon said. She hopped up off the couch and ran over to the computer. She wiggled the mouse to wake it from its sleepy state and quickly logged onto the internet.

"What are you doing?" Jethro asked curiously.

"Booking flights," Shannon said. "We're going to see your dad before you leave. You didn't get to go last time you deployed."

"We just came back from Stillwater a few weeks ago," Jethro said.

Shannon stopped and looked at him. "I remember your exact words from the last time you deployed—when you nearly died—you said that you would never again leave on a deployment without seeing your whole family first. Do you remember that?"

Jethro relented. "I remember," he said. "But can we afford it?"

"We'll make it work," Shannon said. "But you will get to spend time with your dad. Even if you have to go by yourself."

"No go," Jethro said. "We all go or we all stay. We aren't splitting up. We're going to have too much time away from each other as it is."

"Ok," Shannon said.

"Hey Shan?" Jethro said.

"Yeah babe?" She didn't look up from where she was typing quickly.

"Shouldn't we call and tell them we're coming before we book flights? And shouldn't we maybe tell the kids?"

Shannon stopped typing and looked up at Jethro. "Guess I'm putting the cart before the horse," she said, chuckling at herself.

"It's one of the things I like about you," Jethro said with a cheeky smile. "You're just SO organized all the time!"

Shannon glanced at the messy desk (that she could find anything on within a moment's notice) and then at her husband. "Ha. Ha. Ha. Gunny." She said, but couldn't contain her giggles any longer. Before long both of them were chuckling, and their impending separation, for the moment, was forgotten.

xxx

"Tony!" Miss Ellie called. "Your Daddy's here!"

"DADDY!" Tony squealed. He quickly abandoned the story book he was looking at and ran for his daddy. When he got close to Jethro he all but dove into the other man's embrace.

"Hi Buddy!" Jethro said, hugging him tight.

"Why are YOU picking me up Daddy? I thought Mommy gonna get me!"

"Got off work early," Jethro said, not telling Tony HOW early he got off. "Thought it'd be a nice surprise for me to get ya."

"I love your s'prises!" Tony exclaimed.

"You ready to go kiddo? Almost dinner time."

"I'm ready I just needa put away my book first." Tony ran over to the bookshelf and stuck the book he was reading back in its place. "Now I'm ready. Bye Miss Ellie!"

"Bye Tony," Ellie waved. "Have a great evening!"

Jethro tried not to cringe at the young woman's words.

xxx

Jethro and Tony walked out to the car and the little boy was surprised to see Shannon and Kelly in the car waiting for them. "You gots everybody already?" he asked his daddy, his eyes wide.

Jethro smiled. "Yep! We're going out for dinner."

"YAY!" Tony exclaimed happily. "Where we going to eat?"

"Thought we'd go for pizza," Jethro said with a wink. "And maybe ice cream for dessert."

"I love pizza!" Tony exclaimed. "It's my fav'rite!"

Jethro and Tony piled into the car and Tony chatted happily with Shannon and Kelly as Jethro pulled out into traffic. He was doing his best to not let on that anything was wrong. They'd decided to tell the kids together after dinner and baths. If they were up late that was fine, but Jethro and Shannon wanted to make sure their children were well fed and comfortable before they told them.

Dinner was an enjoyable affair, filled with sodas and stringy cheese and laughter from every member of the Gibbs family. Tony had a wiggly tooth that was about to come out so he was getting clever with the way he bit and chewed his food to keep from moving the offending baby tooth around too much. Jethro spent a lot of his time listening, as he usually did around the dinner table, and trying to keep his thoughts on what the children were saying about their day and about what they wanted to do this weekend coming up. Tony wanted to go swimming. That boy loved swimming. If Jethro didn't know better he'd swear the kid was part fish. It had taken some time to get him past his fear of the water, but under Jethro's gentle guidance, Tony had developed a love for water and a love for swimming in it, playing in it, splashing in it, diving in it—doing anything he could to get in it.

Once they got back home, Shannon and Jethro quickly ran the two kids through the bath and got teeth brushed, hair combed and little bodies into their pajamas. Tony was getting ready to head to his bed for a story when Jethro put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go downstairs first," he said.

Tony glanced at Kelly, who was wincing in the bathroom mirror as Shannon gently combed the tangles out of her hair. "We're coming right behind you," Shannon said. "We'll be there just in a minute."

Tony giggled as Jethro slung him up onto his shoulders and bounced playfully down the stairs. He trotted over to the couch and plopped Tony down right next to Sasha and sat down beside him. "What we doin' Daddy?" Tony asked.

"We're all going to talk for a bit," Jethro said.

Luckily he didn't have to give more answer than that because Shannon and Kelly chose that moment to reach the bottom of the stairs. Kelly looked at her mom and smiled cheekily. "I beat you that time," she cheered.

Shannon chuckled and nodded. "You certainly did. I must be getting old!"

"Mommy you are old!" Tony exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I hear you," Shannon snarked playfully. She sat down on the couch next to Jethro and scooted over to make room for Kelly. She let out a happy sigh. "This is nice," she said. "I love just relaxing with you people. You're my favorite people on earth," she said happily.

"You're my favorite people too!" Tony agreed, snuggling into the crook of Jethro's arm and chest. His daddy hugged him snugly and reached over to tweak Kelly's knee.

"Daddy…we never do this," Kelly said softly. "Not at night like this."

Tony looked curiously up at his daddy, and one hand unconsciously rose to his stomach, covering his little gut.

Jethro looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath. "Do you remember," he started off quietly, "when I got that phone call while we were at the mall on Saturday? Up in LA?"

"Yep!" Tony exclaimed. "You said it was Masser Johnson Sergeant!"

"Master Sergeant Johnson," Kelly corrected him.

Tony furrowed his brow. "That what I said?"

Before Kelly could argue Jethro continued. "And he was calling to tell me that we had a meeting on Monday morning."

"Monday…that's today!" Tony said. "Did you go to the meeting b'fore you got off work early?"

Jethro nodded. "I sure did. And I need to tell you what that meeting was about because it affects all of us."

Kelly's eyes widened. She didn't like the sound of this. "Daddy…"

"I was told today, in the meeting, that I am going to be sent on a deployment," Jethro said softly, his eyes on his children. He decided to just go ahead and tell them and get it over with so they could deal with the fallout. There was no need to prolong the inevitable.

The children's reactions were night and day different. Kelly's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open in surprise, but it only lasted a moment before her face relaxed into a quiet frown and she nodded. She didn't like it, but she understood it. Sometimes Daddy had to go away. He had done this since she could remember. This would be the third time Kelly experienced a deployment. Tony, on the other hand, did not take the news so well.

"No," he said softly, shaking his head. "Daddy—you can't—you gotta tell 'em you can't go! Tell 'em you can't! Tell 'em you gotta stay!"

Jethro moved to hug Tony closer, but the child was tense and pulled away from him. "I can't do that Buddy," Jethro said softly. "Believe me I don't want to leave you, but—"

"Daddy you can't go!" Tony's voice was increasing in volume and becoming very shrill—he was panicking.

"Tony," Shannon said softly with a sidelong glance at her husband who looked as devastated as Tony obviously felt. "Tony c'mere baby. Come talk to Mommy."

Tony moved slowly over to Shannon while Kelly took the opportunity to crawl up in her daddy's lap. Did Tony know something she didn't know? Or was he just scared because it was the first time Daddy had to leave since Tony lived with them? "Daddy you're gonna be safe, right? Not like last time?"

Jethro sighed. He knew that last time he'd been on deployment Kelly and Shannon had gotten the message that he'd been injured and it had upset his baby girl (and his wife) greatly. He was not at all surprised that she was worried about this happening again. "I will be as safe as I can be," he promised. "I always want to come back home to you all, you know that," he said, kissing her on top of her head. "I will try my very best to not get hurt."

Tony was sitting in Shannon's lap now, tears dripping pitifully down his face and he refused to even look at Jethro. He wasn't speaking, and that worried Jethro quite a bit. "Tony?" Shannon's voice was gentle. "Tony look at Mommy. Tell us what's running around in your head so we can help you."

Tony raised fearful eyes up to his Mommy's sad expression and his face closed down a little more. "Did I do bad?" he whispered. "Is th-that wh-why Dad-ddy g-gonna leave?"

Shannon hugged him close and Jethro frowned when he reached out to touch Tony's foot and the child jerked away. "No baby boy," Shannon cooed gently. "No you didn't do bad. This is not because of you. Daddy's been sent on deployments before—before we even knew you he had to go. Kelly can remember, can't you baby girl?"

Kelly, snuggled in her daddy's lap, nodded. "Daddy will come back," she said softly, but her tone belied the doubts she was feeling.

"Why you gotta go away?" Tony asked in a pouting tone. He still didn't look at Jethro.

"I have to go away because I'm a Marine and that's what my boss is telling me I have to do," Jethro said softly. "Know how Mommy and I tell you to clean up your room or take a bath or go to bed?" Tony nodded. "Well it's the same kind of thing here. And just like if you don't listen to us, if I don't listen to them I can get in a lot of trouble."

"What kind of trouble? Like a time out?" Tony asked.

"If I was to refuse to go on this deployment I think they could put me in jail," Jethro said. "And that would mean I'm still gone. But this way I'll go, not be in any trouble, and get to come home sooner. How's that sound?"

"I think it's stupid," Tony snapped, suddenly angry. He slid off of Shannon's lap and stomped around the room, his little arms crossed in front of him. He turned around and stomped right up to Jethro and poked a finger hard into his daddy's chest. "You always promised a watch my six for me!" Tony cried. "How you gonna do that?! Nobody…nobody ever," his expression crumpled again, "nobody ever stays with me," he cried, tears spilling from his cheeks.

Kelly knew she needed to move out of the way even before Jethro gently lifted her over to Shannon. He dropped to his knees in front of Tony, who had his face in his hands, sobbing his little heart out. He put his hands gently on the little boy's wrists and moved his hands away carefully. "Hey," he said gently. "C'mere…" he scooped Tony into a warm hug, even though the child bristled when Jethro touched him. Jethro wrapped his arms tightly around his distraught little boy and hugged him tight. "I love you Tony," he ran a hand over the back of his son's head, hoping with every fiber of his being that he could make his boy understand that this was not his fault. "I love you so much. And I am going to miss you so much while I am away. But while I'm gone, Mommy and Kelly are going to watch your six, and I need you to help watch Mommy and Kelly's sixes for me. Can you help me with that?" Tony continued to cry, but the sobs began to subside a bit. "I never leave anyone behind," Jethro said. "And I'm not going to start now. I have to go away for a bit, but I promise you that if I have any control over anything that I will be back as soon as I can and as safely as I can. I will do everything I can to never leave you ok?"

Tony wrapped his arms around his daddy's neck suddenly, sobbing into his shoulder. Jethro hugged him tightly and eased back up onto the couch. Shannon reached over and grabbed Tony's foot and Kelly reached out and grabbed her daddy's hand. "We are our own unit," Shannon said. "We are a family, and we are strong. We are strong enough to make it through this hard time. But we have to be brave, and we have to work together. We have to help Daddy not be scared to leave, and we have to help him know we are ok so he can go get his job done superfast and come back home to us."

There were no words to respond to that. They sat together, in the twilight of the evening, just enjoying each other company. They were as close as they could be. Nothing could touch them for now, and for tonight, at least, they all knew they were all safe.

TBC…


	5. Regression

_Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats. Your help is priceless! Thank you! :)  
_**Author's Note:** Thanks to Tacpebs for the idea for the beginning of this chapter!  
**WARNING: TISSUE ALERT!**

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 5: Regression**

Kelly rolled over in bed when she heard the strange noise. She knew they were all supposed to be sleeping because tomorrow they were flying up to Pennsylvania to see Grandma and Grandpa before Daddy had to leave. She listened carefully and wondered what the noise was and who was making it. She slid silently out of bed and tiptoed to her bedroom door. She eased it open and squinted in the bright light from the hallway (Daddy always left the hall light on for them in case they needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night)…she looked at Mommy and Daddy's room and saw their door was closed, and she looked at the bathroom and saw the open bathroom door. She looked towards the stairs and saw Tony's bedroom door was open. Frowning, wondering what her brother was up to in the middle of the night (he always kept his door shut when he slept), Kelly tiptoed across the hall to her brother's bedroom. She peeked inside and frowned more. Tony wasn't in his bed! And he wasn't in the bathroom!

She turned around, wondering where he'd gone, and saw the shadow of someone moving downstairs. Feeling momentarily frightened, Kelly decided to be grown up and march down the stairs to see what was going on. After all, she was nine years old now, and that meant she was a big kid. She could be brave. She didn't need to run to her Daddy for every little thing. Besides—Daddy had to leave sometimes, so it was good to make sure that she could be brave without him.

When Kelly reached the bottom of the steps she glanced around. Her brother was sitting on the couch. His knees were tucked up to his chin and his arms were wrapped around his legs and he was crying softly in the semidarkness.

"Tony?" Her brother glanced up at her, but quickly looked back down as another wave of tears dripped from his eyes. Kelly moved over to the couch and sat down beside her younger brother. "Why ya crying Tony?" She asked softly.

Tony looked up at her. He expected her to pick fun at him for being so silly and crying in the middle of the night like this. But when he looked at her he only saw concern and worry on her face. "I hadda bad dream," he said softly, resting his chin on his forearms across his knees. "I dreamed Daddy died," he started to cry again.

Kelly settled back against the cushions next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Daddy is going to try to be safe," she reassured him. "He might not even be going somewhere dangerous!"

"What do you mean?" Tony asked, calming a bit.

"Daddy can't ever tell us where he's going because it's a secret. But he might be going someplace safe. If he does, then he'll be able to tell us about it when he comes back. If he doesn't then he might be able to tell us where he went, but he won't be able to tell us about what happened."

"Why's it gotta be a secret?" Tony asked.

"It helps to keep everybody safe I think. Kind of like hide and seek maybe? Only the people hiding are people like Daddy and the people who are looking for him are the bad guys."

"I didn't know there was really bad guys," Tony said softly.

"Yeah there are," Kelly said. "We learned about them some in school. There are bad guys all over the place!"

"And they wanna hurt Daddy?" Tony's bottom lip quivered.

"Nah, not just Daddy, everybody like Daddy," Kelly said. "But it'll be ok. Daddy's super smart. And way sneaky. He will be ok."

"You said he got hurt last time," Tony said. "What if he gets hurt again?"

"He did get hurt last time," Kelly said. "Someone blew something up and his knee got hurt. It's why his knee still hurts him sometimes when it rains."

"Kinda like my leg?" Tony asked.

"Sort of," Kelly said.

"What if he dies?" Tony's voice wobbled softly.

"Well…if he dies…I don't know what happens. I know we still have Mommy," Kelly said. "And I know he loves us. Both of us. And Mommy too. And Daddy's like…he's like Superman Tony! He's always ok! Even if he gets hurt he's always ok."

"If he dies…do you think I have to go back to my m-mean-daddy?" Tony whispered. It was as if speaking the thought out loud was too horrible to even fathom—as though speaking it out loud would make it true.

"Um…" Kelly thought hard for a moment. "I don't think so. I mean, you've been living here for a really long time now…and your Mean Daddy is still in jail," she said matter-of-factly. "I think you get to stay with us. I think you're ours no matter what."

"How's come you're not scared?" Tony wanted to know next. He was in shock and awe that his sister was not fussing at him for being awake and upset in the middle of the night. Instead she was sitting with him and it seemed like she was really trying to make him feel better.

"I am scared," Kelly said. "Really scared. But I have done this before with Daddy. He left me twice already, but the first time I was really little, so I don't remember it. But last time I remember screaming and crying and really fussing at Daddy and being mad at him for leaving."

Tony's eyes widened as he tried to imagine Kelly behaving in such a manner. "What happened?" he asked, a touch of awe in his voice.

"He gave me a big hug and a kiss, even though I was fighting him, and he told me he loves me and that I will always be his Baby Girl and then he left anyways," Kelly said.

Tony's heart dropped. "He really has to go doesn't he?"

Kelly nodded. "Yep. I haven't ever been able to talk him into staying. But Mommy says that because Daddy is a Marine that we are special because we are a Marine Family. And that means that we gotta be strong and take care of the front of the house while he's gone."

"The front of the house?" Tony asked, confused.

"She said 'homefront,'" Kelly explained, "But really it's the front of the house. I guess it's supposed to look pretty when everybody comes back? I don't know."

"Ohhhh," Tony said. "Maybe we can plant some flowers while he's gone. That'd make it look pretty when he comes back!"

"Good idea!" Kelly agreed.

"Want to get some paper? We can draw what the garden should look like," Tony said. "I am not sleepy."

"I'm not either," Kelly said. "You get the crayons and markers—I'll get the paper! But be super quiet—if Mommy and Daddy hear us they'll make us go to bed."

"Ok," Tony whispered, and he tiptoed up the stairs.

The next morning, Jethro and Shannon woke up early. They weren't surprised by the quiet in the house, but both of them felt spikes of fear when they opened the bedroom door to find both of their children's rooms empty.

"Where could they be?" Shannon breathed, as she and Jethro rushed down the stairs. Both parents stopped short when they reached the living room. There, on the couch, Tony and Kelly were sitting together, propped up against one another, heads together, surrounded by crayons and markers. "What in the world?" she whispered.

Jethro stepped closer to his still-sleeping children, and noticed the pad of paper sitting in Tony's lap. The child was a talented artist, and Jethro and Shannon hoped to continue to encourage that as he got older. Jethro carefully slid the paper out from under Tony's sleep heavy hand and looked at it. His jaw dropped open when he saw what it was.

It was a picture of their house, with their cars in the driveway. Out in front of the house was the illustration of a beautiful garden, filled with flowers that were red, white, and blue. The flowers were different shapes and sizes, but they all looked like flowers that both of the adults had seen before in other flower gardens. Shannon's hand lifted to cover her mouth when she read the title of the picture.

"The Home Front Garden," Jethro breathed. Below the title there were more words written, this time in Kelly's handwriting. Jethro continued reading, "Home Front Gardens have to be in front of the houses. When the Marines come back home they see that we took good care of the front of our houses while they were gone."

Jethro looked at Shannon, whose eyes were filling with tears. He felt tears of his own forming, and he took a deep breath. "I think this," he said, "calls for some blueberry pancakes."

xxx

Tony's hands tightened reflexively on the arm rests of his seat in the jet as the whole structure shuddered in midair. He turned huge eyes towards his Daddy and bit his lower lip nervously. Jethro leaned over and gently released the lip from Tony's teeth. The loose tooth had finally come out a couple of days before leaving another adorably snarly gap in his smile. "Ok Tony?" Jethro said softly.

The child had barely moved the entire flight. He'd refused snacks, refused books, refused water, refused to do anything but sit and cling to the arm rests.

"I do not think I like to fly," he said softly.

Jethro wrapped an arm around the stiff little boy's shoulders. "We're almost there," he said softly, trying to reassure him. "The pilot said he's going to land the plane in just a few minutes. And see all those clouds outside?" Tony refused to look. "Those are the reason that it's so bumpy. It's called turbulence," Jethro said. "We're safe. The pilot has done this lots of times. Things will smooth out here in a bit. It's safe. I promise you it's safe."

"Daddy," Tony said softly. "Can I sit in your lap?" his little voice shook just slightly when he spoke.

"Not right now because our plane is about to land. But I'm right here," he reassured him. He glanced across the aisle where Shannon and Kelly were seated. Kelly was chattering away about something and Shannon was smiling, trying to keep up with her daughter's fast talking. Jethro smiled at her and she winked back.

"Tony ok?" she asked.

"Nervous because of the turbulence," Jethro replied.

"My mean-daddy said that the plane shakes like that 'cause it wants to throw off the bad kids," Tony said softly and Jethro whipped around to face him. "He said he bet if he throwed me off the plane that his ride would be smooth sailing after that." He glanced up at Jethro, who looked worried. "We flied when we went to Awah-ee."

"When you went to…oh right, when you went to Hawaii, I remember you telling us about that trip," Jethro said, gently ruffling the little boy's hair.

"I don't like to fly," Tony said, his voice now a whisper.

"Well I tell you what," Jethro said gently. "Your mean-daddy was wrong. He said those things to scare you. He was wrong sweet boy. The plane is bouncing because of the air and the clouds. It's not because of anything anyone on this plane has done ok?"

"Daddy?" Tony said.

"Yeah bud?"

"I don't like Awah-ee," he said softly. "I don't wanna go back there."

"I won't make you go to Hawaii Tony. Not ever. OK?"

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Are we going to stay in a hotel?"

"No we're going to sleep at Grandpa's house. That'll be fun, won't it?"

"I don't like hotels neither," Tony said.

"I know," Jethro told him, ruffling his hair again. He felt so bad for this child—all the horrible things he'd experienced in his young life—things that still haunted him, and likely would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life…Jethro wondered if there was any way to fix it. He worried about what his leaving would do to the child. He wasn't one to brag about his closeness with Tony, and it wasn't anything anyone had specifically planned, but the child had bonded with him and it seemed that deep down Jethro was the only person that Tony ever truly felt safe with. There is great responsibility in a bond like that and part of Jethro wondered if he'd done more harm than good in bonding with the little boy. But seeing how Tony listened to Jethro and seeing how he almost always calmed when he was near his daddy…Jethro didn't think that he'd done any harm. He would not change anything he'd done, no decision he'd made that brought him to this moment right here.

The plane jarred again and Tony's hand found Jethro's and squeezed it tightly. "Attaboy," Jethro said with a smile. "You just hang on to me and we'll be on the ground in no time." His thoughts turned again to the upcoming deployment. He couldn't allow anything to happen to him while he was away. He had to make it through the trip in one piece and he had to get back home to his boy. Kelly and Shannon needed him too, but they were close, and they were used to being on their own. Tony…he was different. And Jethro knew that there could be no greater crime committed against this child than to have the person he was closest too ripped away from him.

The deployment was scheduled to last for nine months. And Jethro was already starting to think on what was going to happen when he got back. Did he want to re-enlist? There weren't any wars right now in the world that the US was involved in, but as he knew well, that fact could change tomorrow…did he want to risk signing up for another four years, knowing that there would be a deployment overseas at some point? And Tony was getting big enough to really express himself and feel strongly about things. He was also getting comfortable enough with his family to let his guard down and let his growing personality out to play without reservation. He was a delightful child, sweet, thoughtful, caring, funny…Jethro sighed and then smiled as he felt the plane bump onto the ground gently. He hoped nothing would change those things about his son. Tony was wonderful just the way he was. He hoped him leaving wouldn't affect him too badly. But he knew that was pointless to think of.

Jethro knew in his gut that every single one of them would be changed drastically by this trip coming up. It would affect all four of them differently, and would change their entire dynamic. But they were on a road they could not change, and the only thing there was to do was muddle through and hopefully come out relatively unscathed on the other side. He was excited to see his father, to talk to him, to ask him questions…his father was in the Marines when he was young…perhaps he might have some advice for Jethro, marine to marine, father to father.

Glancing down at Tony he smiled. He hoped so.

xxx

Tony smiled as Jethro drove all of them through Stillwater, Pennsylvania. They'd visited just a few short weeks ago, so the place was still familiar to Tony. It was his second trip up north, and despite the circumstances he couldn't help but feel excited about it. Mommy and Daddy decided that it would be best to head to the store first. They were going to sleep at Grandpa's house for a few days and on the last day they were going to go to Grandma's and spend the night.

The little boy was astounded to learn on his first trip to Stillwater that his Grandpa owned a store all by himself. He sold food and something called "supplies" that Tony wasn't sure what it was, and candy, and magazines and a few books—lots of stuff! His Grandpa worked in the store, had a couple of people that worked there with him, but he did most of the things by himself. Tony wasn't sure, but he thought maybe, if he didn't grow up to be a Marine like Daddy that he would maybe want to grow up and have his own store like Grandpa did.

The sun was setting by the time they reached Grandpa's store. Tony was hungry but he wasn't going to complain. He hadn't missed any meals that he knew of since he'd come to live with Daddy and Mommy, so he figured they'd eat soon probably. He hoped so. Anyways, he didn't want to cause trouble. Kelly was riding in the seat next to him. She was a big kid now and didn't have to have a car seat, but Tony was still smaller so he rode in one still.

"Daddddyyyyyy," Kelly moaned dramatically. "I'm starrrrrrving! My stomach is eating my backbone!"

Jethro chuckled in the front seat. "Guess you won't need any dinner then, if your stomach is eating your backbone!" he snarked playfully.

Tony's eyes widened. Were they not going to eat? His tummy rumbled unhappily. Shannon peeked over her shoulder. "Is there a dinosaur in the back seat? Sounds like it," she commented.

"Sorry," Tony said softly. "It's my tummy. It's rumbling."

"Awww is your stomach eating your backbone too?" Shannon said with a smile.

Tony bit his lip and shrugged. He wasn't sure what that meant, but he didn't think he wanted his stomach to eat anything but food.

Shannon turned back around and Jethro turned the car down another road and Tony recognized the building on the corner to be Grandpa's shop. The lights were off though, and the sign on the door said the store was closed. Tony's heart sank. What did that mean? What were they going to do now? Where would they go?

He was confused when Grandpa stepped out onto the front sidewalk. Why was Grandpa here if the store was closed? Tony didn't understand anything that was happening. It was all different, all confusing, and he was tired. He was still feeling slightly scared after the long and bumpy flight, and now he was hungry and sleepy, and he felt like he could start to cry. He didn't want to cry though. This trip was supposed to be fun. And he didn't want to cause trouble. If he caused trouble then Daddy might not want to come back after he left.

Jethro parked the car and turned off the ignition. "Let's go gang," he said as he opened his door and climbed out.

Kelly scrambled out of the car with an excited "WHOOP!" and Shannon also climbed out. Tony reached down to release his seatbelt, but he couldn't find the button. This car was different than the cars Daddy and Mommy usually drove. He felt and looked and searched all around for it, but he couldn't find the release button for his seat belt. He took a shuddery breath and yanked on his seatbelt trying to get it off, but it wouldn't budge. "Daddy," he whispered, beginning to panic. He was feeling quite trapped and suddenly smothered by the seatbelt. "Daddy help me…Daddy…I'm stuck…"

Just as full-on panic was beginning to set in, the back door opened suddenly and Tony startled badly. "Hi Buddy," Jethro said with a smile. "Can I help?"

Tears of exhaustion and hunger and frustration spilled over Tony's cheeks accompanied by a desperate wail that escaped from his throat. He felt someone reaching across him and an instant later the seatbelt released. "Ok," Jethro said softly. "Daddy's got you. Why the tears Buddy? What's wrong?"

Jethro lifted Tony out of his seat and Tony grabbed Jethro and hung on for dear life. He was too tired, too hungry, and too scared to trust being set down now. Jethro moved to put him down and Tony practically climbed him, trying to stay off the ground. "N-nooo Daddy n-n-noooooo!"

"Ok—Ok Tony it's alright—what's goin' on? You ok? Is your head hurting?" Jethro glanced at Shannon anxiously, holding Tony close, running a hand over the back of his hair. "I've got you. I'm right here."

"Hey now why the tears kiddo?" Jackson came to stand right next to Jethro. He touched Tony's back lightly and frowned when the child flinched. "Tony? You ok? I'm so glad you got to come visit!"

Tony opened his eyes and stared at Jackson, tears and snot running down his face. Jackson offered his handkerchief to the little boy. "Can I help?" he asked gently. Tony nodded, still upset, and Grandpa wiped his face for him. "I tell you what," he said. "Why don't we go inside?"

"Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long Dad," Jethro said.

"Not at all," Jackson said. "I've got dinner in here. Kept it simple, but it should be enough."

Jethro winked at Kelly as they headed inside the store. He draped an arm around Shannon's shoulders as they followed Jackson inside.

"I've got sandwiches and chips here," Jackson said, "with cookies and juice. It's nothin' fancy, but I thought it'd be fast. You guys had a long flight today, so I figured you'd be hungry."

"Thanks Dad," Jethro said. "It's perfect."

There was a picnic area on the side of the building and Shannon and Kelly helped Jackson carry everything outside. Jethro settled onto a bench and moved Tony to his lap. "Here we go kiddo," he spoke softly and gently, trying not to upset his boy further. "How bout we have a sandwich, eh?" Tony didn't respond, only leaned against Jethro's chest and stared off into space. Jethro set the half a turkey sandwich back on the paper plate and hugged Tony. "Ohhhhkay," he said gently. "It's been a long day hasn't it? Long day. Rough day. You were brave though. I'm sorry we had to go on an airplane for so long. Sometimes it's not bumpy like that. Remember last time we came here the airplane ride wasn't bumpy?"

Tony didn't respond, just stayed where he was. He was so tired.

"Hey Tony!" Shannon called. Tony flickered his gaze towards her but didn't respond. "Hungry? Kelly's eating. Want a sandwich?"

Tony just stayed where he was and didn't respond. Jethro picked up the cup of juice that Jackson had poured for Tony. "Here kiddo," he whispered. "I know you're tired. You'll sleep better if you have something in your hungry tummy though," Jethro told him.

Tony sipped the juice a couple of times and then blinked and smiled. "Mmmm," he said softly.

"Attaboy," Jethro said. "Want some sandwich?"

Tony shook his head and leaned heavier against Jethro. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to think anymore today. He was all done. He just wanted to sleep. Jethro coaxed some more juice into him and he slowly twisted his fingers into his daddy's shirt and sat very still. He could feel his daddy running his hand up and down his back and arm lightly and patting him gently. He felt sleep beginning to wash over him and he sighed softly, letting it drag him down.

Jethro felt the change in Tony's weight as the little boy slumped bonelessly against his daddy. "He's out like a light," he commented softly around a bite of sandwich.

Kelly was watching Tony carefully. "Daddy is Tony ok?" she asked. "He's acting funny."

"He got pretty scared on the flight today, Princess," Jethro told her. "He doesn't like all the turbulence." He purposefully didn't tell her about the memory Tony had shared with her. One of his children was traumatized enough by that sonofabitch, Tony Senior; he didn't need the other one to be traumatized by his lies too.

"Oh," Kelly said. She was quiet for a moment and then turned her attention towards Jackson who listened intently as Kelly told him about spending her summer with Maddie Tyler.

Once they were done eating, Jethro, Jackson and the rest of the Gibbs clan headed for Jackson's house. It was only a block or so down the road. Jethro opted, rather than strapping Tony back into the car seat, to just walk and carry him with him. Jackson walked with him and Shannon and Kelly drove the car. Jackson rarely took his truck to work with him, as he lived so close to the shop.

As they walked along, Jethro glanced over at his dad. "This is going to be hard for him," he whispered softly. He didn't need to explain what "this" was.

"Yes, it will. And Annie used to always say that the first deployment was the hardest. But after your last deployment…" Jackson was quiet for a moment and looked up at the full, beautiful green trees overhead. "After your last deployment, I think this one is going to be harder for everyone."

"I'm thinking about getting out," Jethro said softly. "I mean…I've gotta finish up this enlistment, but…" he shrugged one shoulder. "I think it might be time for me to find something else to do."

Jackson stopped walking and turned to face Jethro, who also stopped. "Let me give you some advice," he said sagely.

Jethro nodded. That was what he'd come here for. "Alright," he said.

"I can tell you from experience, though I don't need to, that deployments are hard. They're hard on you, hard on your family, hard on everything." Jethro nodded and Jackson took a step closer. "But the thing that makes it harder? Is dreaming about what you're going to do when you get out while you're away. It's ok to start thinking a bit towards it—planning ahead is always wise. But don't daydream about it. Don't house-hunt yet. Focus on getting through what you got to do right now—which is stay alive overseas—and then when you get back, THEN you can start planning. Make sense? Cause all you're going to do is distract yourself if you do that now. And right now you need no distractions."

Jethro sighed. "You're right," he said. "Shannon and I talked about it a bit. She's fine with me getting out, and we're going to use some of the extra money from me being gone to save up for a down payment on a house. If I decide to stay in, in another four years I'd be eligible for retirement."

"And you have to weigh that against everything else. Can you do another four years? I know your knee is already giving you a hard time, even though you don't complain about it. How does Shannon feel about everything? What about Kelly and Tony? Can they do another four years?"

"Those are all questions in my head," Jethro said honestly. "And it's real easy when you're a 19 year old kid to enlist and make big plans to stay in forever. But along the way I picked up a wife and two kids—and one of the two kids really…really needs consistency in his world."

"He told me about the boy in his camp group…how his Daddy…"

Jethro nodded. "He's been a mess since then. It really did a number on him. I mean…I know me leaving would be hard for him anyway, but I can't help but wonder if this won't make it harder for him."

"Well all you can do is try your best to stay safe, contact home when you can, and get your tail back here as soon as possible," Jackson said. They turned up the driveway to Jackson's house. "We'll help out as much as we can from here, and Shannon is amazing while you're away. I wish you could see her. She's a rock."

"She's wonderful," Jethro said. "I am so lucky to have her."

"Yes you are," Jackson agreed.

"Hi boys," Shannon said, leaning against the car. "Have a nice walk?"

"Yeah we did," Jethro said. "Let me get Tony inside and I'll help you carry all the stuff in."

"Sounds good," Shannon said. Together they all headed inside the house.

Jackson lived in a two story brick house that was built in the 1930s. Jethro loved the old house, with its concrete porch and hardwood floors. The house looked smaller than it actually was, because once you were inside, the rooms were spacious and the almost open floor plan was built years ahead of its time. Growing up, all of the walls in the old house had been white with white trim—very boring. But as Jackson had gotten older he'd felt a need for some color in his life, so slowly, one room at a time, he'd transitioned from all white walls with white trim, to tasteful colors. Each room was a different color, but planned tastefully so that the colors flowed easily from one room to the next without clashing.

There were four bedrooms upstairs. Jackson had his room, and Shannon and Jethro would share another room. Then there was the guest room which Kelly would take, and they'd decided to let Tony sleep in Jethro's boyhood bedroom again. As a child, Jethro always wondered why the house had so many bedrooms when there was only three of them living there. Once he got older, after his mother died, Jackson explained to him that he and Annie had wanted a large family, so they'd bought a big house to make room for everyone. Once Annie became pregnant with Jethro, however, she'd gotten quite ill and the pregnancy had been difficult for her. After Jethro was born, the doctor told her she shouldn't have any more children. So they'd kept their big house, with many rooms, and there was always room if friends from out of town came to visit, and there was always great hiding places when Jethro and his friends in the neighborhood wanted to play hide-n-seek. As an adult, Jethro looked with love on the house, his childhood home, where his roots were, and he smiled, knowing that there would always be enough room for his family there.

Jethro walked up the steps with his precious burden in his arms, and he made his way down the hall to his old bedroom. Tony loved this room, loved the connection it gave him to his father's childhood. Jethro carefully peeled back the covers on the bed and smiled at the sheets with the racing cars on them. Those were new. He carefully tucked his boy in and took off the child's glasses. He ran his hand over Tony's hair lightly. If he woke up they'd change him into pjs, but Jethro didn't think he'd wake up. Tony would be fine to sleep in his jean shorts for one night. He turned on the lamp, knowing that in a strange house that he was unfamiliar with, it could be frightening for Tony to wake up and be in the dark. With a final kiss to his little one's forehead, Jethro left the room, leaving the door just cracked so they could hear if he needed them.

xxx

The sound of Tony screaming drew Jethro and Shannon out of a sound sleep, sometime around four in the morning. "I'll get him," Jethro was on his feet and halfway down the hall before he was fully awake, and it reminded him of many nights early in their relationship with Tony, when nightmares plagued the boy's rest and he woke up screaming more often than not. Jethro pushed the bedroom door open and his heart broke all over again when he saw his little boy deep in the throes of a nightmare.

"Easy," Jethro said, straightening Tony's covers and shaking the child's shoulder. "Hey Tony wake up buddy. It's ok Tony it's a nightmare c'mon wake up," Jethro was startled when Tony suddenly sat up in bed. He scooped him up and sighed when he noticed that the child had wet himself. Must have been one hell of a nightmare.

"Okkkk," Jethro soothed. "You're ok. Was just a bad dream. It's all ok. You with me?"

Tony was trembling slightly but nodded. Then he looked down at his lap when he realized that his pants felt cold. "Ohhhh," he whispered, and tears filled his eyes. He looked up at Jethro. "I sorry," he whispered shakily.

"Hey," Jethro said gently, tilting the boy's chin up so he looked his daddy in the face. "You know you're not going to get in trouble for that. It happens. We change it, we fix you up. No big deal."

"But…but we's at Gran'pas house," Tony sounded truly mortified.

"Think about your words Tony. Yes, we are at Grandpa's house, but the same rules at home apply here. No one is going to get angry with you because of this. You couldn't help it. It's alright."

Jethro took Tony to the bathroom and made quick work of cleaning him up and changing him into his pajamas. Shannon was in Tony's room by the time they got back, already stripping the bed. "I'll get new sheets," Jethro said softly, stepping to the closet in the hall.

It only took a few minutes to change the bed and Jethro picked Tony up. Shannon kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair and Jethro laid him back in bed. He sat with him for a few minutes until Tony's eyes got heavy and he drifted back off to sleep. It was only then that Jethro realized Tony hadn't said what his nightmare was about. He poked his head in and checked on Kelly and smiled at the quiet snores he could hear from his father's room before heading back to his own bed.

It took Jethro a while to fall back to sleep. When he finally did, he slept for a couple of hours before waking again. The instant his eyes blinked open he knew he was awake for the day. He rolled out of bed and kissed Shannon on the side of her head. She made a happy sound and drifted back off to sleep. Jethro dug into his bag and grabbed out the things he'd need for a shower and headed for the bathroom. He took a quick shower, shaved, combed his hair, and dressed. He headed downstairs and clicked on the coffee pot, knowing in just a few minutes he'd have a delicious cup of his wonderful morning brew. Jackson drank his coffee just like Jethro did—strong and black. Shannon drank her coffee strong too, though she preferred to temper hers with a bit of sugar and just a drop or two of cream.

Jethro had only been in the kitchen for a few minutes—in fact, was just pouring up his cup of coffee—when he heard footsteps on the stairs. He glanced up and saw Jackson coming downstairs. "Mornin," he said and his father smiled.

"Mornin' son. Nice having you all here."

"Nice being here. Want some coffee?" Jethro got a cup down and filled it when Jackson nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you," Jethro said. "I'm glad you woke up early. I wanted to do it when no one else is around."

"Now is the best time of day for that," Jackson said with a smile.

"Yeah," Jethro took a sip of coffee. He noted that his father was showered and dressed also. "Can we walk? I talk better if I'm moving," Jethro said.

"Sure," Jackson said. They each refilled their cups and Jackson grabbed his housekeys. "They'll be fine til we get back," Jackson said. "Now Leroy. What's on your mind?"

Jethro stared at the sidewalk, darkened by the predawn light. "What if I die?" he finally pressed out. "What if I don't make it back?"

"Now Leroy, you can't be thinkin' like that," his father started.

"But I have to," Jethro snapped. "You know that as well as I do. You were in the Marines too."

"I know," Jackson said. "But ya can't borrow trouble."

Jethro sighed and ran a hand over his face. "There's a fine line between borrowing trouble and being prepared if something bad happens. I want to make sure everything is in place. I have to make sure everything is ready."

"Is there anything I can do to help you do that?" Jackson asked. He took a sip of coffee and glanced around. The little town he lived in was so pretty. He loved it here. He'd lived here most of his life, with the exception of his time in the military. Once he'd gotten out though, he couldn't wait to return here. He knew that Jethro and his family wouldn't come back if and when Jethro got out of the military, but he did hope they'd live closer.

"Yes," Jethro said. "There is something." He stopped walking and looked at his dad. "If something goes horribly wrong and I don't come back…I need you to help Shannon with Tony. Help her with Kelly too, but…Tony's going to need…he's going to need you. Shannon and I talked about it…if something happens…they're going to come back here. They're going to find a place and she's going to find a job and they're going to move back here so they can be close to you guys. But…Tony…he'll need a lot of love…he'll need it anyway, just with me being gone, but…but if I don't come…come back…"

Jackson pulled Jethro into a hug and he felt tears filling his eyes. "You have my word," Jackson whispered in his ear, and Jethro's fists clung tightly to Jackson's shirt. "You have my word to help him. To help all of them. You take care of you. And I'll take care of them. And once you come back we'll figure out the next step alright? But don't you worry…if something happens…I'll help them."

He just wondered who would help him.

xxx

Jethro and Jackson walked for a while longer, both of them struggling with their emotions and wanting to get themselves calmed down and under control before they went back. The sun was peeking over the horizon when they walked back into the house. Shannon was in the kitchen pouring herself a cup of coffee. Her hair was wet from her shower and she wasn't wearing any shoes. Jethro couldn't help the once—ok twice over, that he gave her as he looked at her standing there. Her shorts showed off her trim tanned legs, and his eyes settled firmly on the curve of her hips. He could watch those hips all…day…lo—

"Jethro? You ok?" Shannon had a sweet, knowing smile on her face. She was messing with him and she knew it.

Jethro blinked and dragged his eyes up to her face. He smiled sheepishly. "Great. I'm great!" He took a sip of coffee and swallowed hard.

Shannon winked at him. "I'm so glad," she said sweetly.

"I'm gonna go get the kids up," Jackson said. "Thought we'd go to the zoo today."

"Sounds good Dad," Jethro said.

Jackson headed up the stairs with a smile. If they weren't careful he was going to be a grandpa again. He smiled. Like that'd be a chore.

Jethro leaned in and kissed Shannon. "I love you," he breathed.

She kissed him back, passionately. "I love you too. Your kisses taste like coffee."

"Yeah?" He grinned. "Your kisses taste like more." He leaned in and before he could kiss her again, someone cleared their throat. Jethro whipped around, his ears already tinting pink at being caught. Seriously? He wasn't some horny teenager again—why would he blush over kissing his wife?

"Dad? Everything ok?" he croaked weakly when he saw Jackson standing at the bottom of the steps.

"I can't find Tony," Jackson said uneasily.

"What?" Shannon said. "Where could he be?"

Jethro was already pushing Jackson out of the way to get up the stairs. He had a feeling he knew where Tony could be. Tony had wet the bed…there was only one obvious place for him to go after that—and after having a nightmare too. "Tony!" he called, "Tony!"

Jackson was right behind him on the stairs and Shannon was right behind them too. "Leroy where is he? What's going on?"

Jethro ran straight into his childhood bedroom and hit his knees, sliding to a stop in front of the bed. He closed his eyes for a brief half-second when pain shot up his leg from his bum knee before plowing on and lifting the bed skirt. Sure enough, there was a small person tucked up under the bed. He sat back on his heels and let out a long breath, running a hand over his face. He needed to calm down before he woke Tony because he knew he'd scare him otherwise.

"Tony?" he said softly. He laid down on his side so Tony could see him better. He reached one arm up under the bed. "Tony wake up buddy," he called. "C'mon now. Time to wake up."

The child stirred slightly before resettling. Jackson looked with terror filled eyes at Shannon, who was standing in the doorway with her hands steepled in horror across her mouth. "Tony," she called. "Baby wake up!"

"What's he doing?" Jackson asked. "Why's he under the bed?"

"C'mon Jack," Shannon said. "I'll explain. Let's give them some space," she said watching as Jethro fished under the bed with one hand trying to reach his boy. "He'll be upset if we're all standing around him gawking. C'mon."

Jethro stretched and reached trying to get hold of Tony. He was tucked up near the head of the bed where the bookshelf and the bedside table were. He was twisted so his back was to the wall, and he was just almost out of Jethro's reach. Finally he caught hold of Tony's hand and pulled him gently. He got him close enough that he could reach under with both hands and hook his hands under Tony's arms and hauled him out from under the bed. "Ok," he said softly. "Easy, Daddy's got you. It's alright. C'mon now here we go." He pulled the child and twisted up to sit and hauled Tony into his lap. "I gotcha now sweet boy," he murmured. He hugged Tony close to him. "I gotcha now. Wake up Tony. C'mon rise and shine."

Tony's face was twisted into a frown, even in his sleep. His lower lip stuck out slightly, as though he was pouting and his little eyebrows were furrowed with stress. Jethro ran his fingers over the back of Tony's cheek. "Wake up kiddo," he said softly. "C'mon now." Tony yawned and slowly blinked his eyes open. "There you are," Jethro praised. "Whatcha doin' under the bed Tony?"

"Mmmmmm I's sleepin'," Tony murmured sleepily, his eyes dropping shut again. The fingers on one of his hands twisted into Jethro's t-shirt and he snuggled into his daddy's embrace.

Jethro let him. He hugged him close and pressed kisses to the top of his head. He'd noticed the regression in Tony's language a bit right after the bad dream. Part of him wondered if it was because he was half asleep. But a bigger part of him worried that there was something else going on. He sat in the floor as his legs fell asleep and shifted his weight slightly. Tony seemed tired and remained asleep in his daddy's lap. Jethro turned so his back rested against the side of the bed. He hugged his child close to him and wondered how in the hell they were going to get through the next nine months.

TBC…


	6. Hard To Say Goodbye

_Special thanks as always to my WONDERFUL beta, Gotgoats! You rock dude! Love ya!_

**Warning: **Well, this chapter has been coming for a while…Get your tissues ready!

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 6: Hard To Say Goodbye****  
**

The next few days passed uneventfully in Stillwater, and before the Gibbs family knew it, the time had come for them to return home. Tony was nervous on the flight, but thankfully it was mostly turbulence free. They were all happy to be home, happy to have had two wonderful trips to see the grandparents this summer, but there was a dark cloud looming on their fun times.

It was almost time for Jethro to leave.

The days leading up to the deployment were filled with meetings, errands, training exercises, and more leave time in the midst of everything else. Jethro spent every waking moment he had off work with his wife and his children. He was concerned because Tony seemed to be withdrawing more and more each day. He was out of time and ideas though, not sure what to do with him. All he could do was be there with him for the time he had, do the best he knew how to do, and hope that it would be enough.

The night before Jethro left was a somber affair. School had started the week before, and Tony and Kelly were doing well in their classes. They had worked it out with their teachers that both of the children would stay out of school for Deployment Day. That's what Kelly was calling it. Jethro thought it sounded a bit too positive for his liking, but if it was helping her to not feel so scared about it, then he'd call it Christmas morning. Tony wasn't calling it anything. He wouldn't talk about it. He wouldn't call it anything, wouldn't talk about what life would be like with Jethro gone. He just shut down whenever it came up.

Jethro spent a good bit of time with each of his kids that night. He brushed Kelly's hair and rubbed her shoulders the way she liked. He read her three stories and let her read him one story, and they sang songs and giggled and told jokes and generally had a good time. Jethro was relieved that Kelly was taking this so well. She and Shannon would be cornerstones of support for Tony while he was away. He had no doubts that between the two of them, they would get Tony through it.

Nine months. Goddamn that was a long time to be gone. Nearly a whole year. Jethro wondered how much things would change in that time. He wondered how much Tony and Kelly would grow, how they would change, what they would be like when he got back. Would they still love him? Would they still be able to relate to him in the way they did now? Would they still have their wonderful personalities and senses of humor?

While Jethro was spending time with Kelly, Shannon had been sitting with Tony. He knocked on his youngest child's bedroom door and poked his head in. "May I come in?" he asked.

Shannon smiled from the checkers game she was losing. "Your son is whipping my tail at checkers, Gunny," she said. "I think I should let you take over."

"What do ya say Buddy?" Jethro asked. "It ok with you if I take over for Mommy?"

Tony smiled at his parents and nodded. "Ok," he said softly. The normally quiet child was being excessively quiet these days. Jethro and Shannon were glad to hear any verbal responses they could get out of him.

Shannon kissed him on his head. "Whip him good for me Tony," she whispered loudly, with a wink to Jethro. "Just 'cause he's a big bad Marine doesn't mean we can't keep him humble on a checkerboard."

Tony giggled and Jethro took his seat across from him. Shannon closed the door behind her and moved to Kelly's room to join her and spend time with her too. Jethro wondered how single parent households managed deployments. It was difficult enough with two children and two parents…he didn't know how it would work otherwise. He also didn't know how it would work if HE were the parent being left behind.

Jethro and Tony played two games of checkers, mostly silently, before Tony began putting the pieces away. They weren't really worried about bedtime so much tonight. Tonight they were worried more about spending as much time as possible with Daddy. They could worry about bedtime once he was gone. Jethro watched as Tony meticulously placed his checkers set back on the shelf. Then he stood very still for a long time, his back to his daddy, facing his shelf. Jethro watched him curiously, wondering if he was trying to decide on a new game, or if he was trying to pick a story, or if there was something else going on. Jethro thought he'd give him a couple more minutes before he spoke, but that idea went out the window when he heard Tony take a shuddery breath.

"Tony?" Jethro stood up and walked over to his little boy. "Littlest…son what is it? Talk to me," he pleaded.

Tony sniffled and dragged the back of his hand across his nose then wiped it on his pants leg. He took several harsh breaths and from where Jethro was standing he could see the silent tears tracking down his face.

Jethro reached a hand out and touched Tony's shoulder, but the child wrenched away from the touch and turned away again.

"Tony talk to me. Turn around here and look at me. Why are you crying?"

"Why are you acting like nothing is different?" Tony snapped in an uncharacteristic display of anger. He whipped around and stared up at his Daddy. "You can't act like nothin is wrong cause everything is wrong and pretending like it is not is just stupid!"

For a split second, Tony blinked in surprise. He seemed shocked that he was actually saying these things to his dad, but at the same time he felt like he couldn't stop himself.

Jethro sank to his knees in front of Tony and looked him in the eye. "I'm glad you're finally talking to me," he said quietly. "You can tell me. Whatever it is you're thinking—don't bottle it up Tony. Tell me what's in your head. You won't get in trouble for this. You won't get into trouble for it at all. I promise."

"I don't care if I get into trouble!" Tony snapped. He turned around and viciously kicked one of the stuffed animals that resided in the little boy's bedroom, sending it flying. "I don't even understand…"

"What don't you understand Bud?"

Tony whipped back around and got right up into his Daddy's face. "I don't know why you bringed me home inna first place! I already been left a fore! Why you bringing me here when you knowed you'd hafta leave me? Don't you know I know what that's like? Why did you do that?"

Jethro felt like a hot poker had been stuck right through his heart. He grabbed Tony and pulled him into a tight hug. "Oh son I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I have to leave and I'm sorry that you know what that feels like. But please, try to understand Tony…this is different. This isn't like when your father left you. It's not like that. I don't want to leave you baby boy. Not at all. I don't want to leave you guys and I don't want to be gone for so long. I have to do it though. It's part of my job. And I am sorry for that. When your father left you…well he chose to. He decided that would be ok. But that's not the same thing as what's going on now."

Jethro could feel the hot tears soaking through his t-shirt and he held on tightly to the little boy who was squirming and trying to get away. "I am so sorry I am leaving," he whispered fiercely. "If I could stay I would. I promise you. If I could stay I would."

"You're gonna go away and you're gonna leave me and then you're gonna die just like my mean-mommy did and you're gonna be gone forever and I'm gonna be all alone!"

"No Tony. I am going to be as safe as I possibly can be, but even if something does happen and I get hurt or I die, you will not be alone. You will still have Mommy and Kelly and Grandpa and Grandma. You will not ever be alone. You will be loved and you will be safe, and I will always love you—no matter what. I am not leaving you because of anything you have done, and I am not leaving you because I want to. I am as sad about leaving as you are. It's so hard to leave Tony. Hard to leave you—hard to leave everyone. But we all have to be brave ok? Do you remember what being brave means?"

Tony tried to pull out of his grip and get away from the soft, reassuring words that were washing over him. "No I don't want to talk about it," Tony said, squirming and shaking his head. "I don't want to be brave. I'm not brave! I'm scared! And I'm mad!"

"I think you're brave too," Jethro said. "It's alright to be scared and angry. I can see why you'd feel those things."

"No you can't! None of you can! No one gets it! I am alone! I am always alone! Everyone always leaves me! Why does everyone always go away?" Tony wailed. He put his face in his little hands and began to cry then, huge heaving sobs shaking his entire frame and leaving him gasping for air.

"C'mere," Jethro said softly, hugging him closely. Tony wrapped his arms around his daddy's neck then, clinging tightly to him and sobbing into Jethro's shoulder. Jethro rubbed his hands up and down Tony's back. "Gotcha now. I gotcha. It's going to be alright Tony. I promise you things will be alright."

They stayed that way for several minutes before Tony finally began to calm. He took several deep breaths and tried to untwist his fingers from his daddy's shirt. Jethro shifted him so that Tony could settle against him more comfortably. "Wanna read a story?" Tony shook his head. "Sing a song?" Tony shook his head again. "Wanna lay down and just be quiet together?" Tony looked up at him and nodded slowly. A thumb slowly rose to his mouth and he sucked it into his mouth, something Jethro had only ever seen Tony do on a very few rare occasions. "Alright then," Jethro said softly. He scooped Tony up and they climbed onto the bed. They laid down, Tony's head on Jethro's arm, and they discussed the animals that they thought they could see in the pattern on the ceiling, the merits of wearing socks inside out (so the seams don't rub your toes); they talked about the clever moves Tony used to beat Jethro at checkers earlier, and they talked about how Jethro was going to fit all of his stuff into only one bag. They talked and they talked about everything and nothing, until finally, late in the evening, the conversation trickled to a slow stop, trailing off almost midsentence. Jethro eased Tony under the covers then, carefully extracted his arm from beneath his son's head, and brushed his fingers lightly over his hair.

Tony blinked one eye open and grabbed Jethro's hand clumsily. "Sorry…got mad…" he mumbled.

"Don't apologize," Jethro said gently. "Got no reason to. Get some sleep buddy."

xxx

Shannon stopped in the doorway to their bedroom, coffee cup in hand, and watched her husband work. He'd packed his gear days ago, but now he was taking it all apart and redoing it. Shannon loved to watch Jethro when he was in work mode. But tonight something was off. Tonight he wasn't doing it because he wanted to double check everything. Tonight he was antsy, and he was redoing it simply to have something to keep his hands busy.

And that meant that things hadn't gone so smoothly in Tony's room.

It pained her to know that their youngest child was taking this so hard. It pained her more to know that things weren't going to get any better for the foreseeable future and Tony was just going to be unhappy for the duration of Jethro's deployment. She couldn't see anyway, short of the op getting cancelled, that Jethro would get out of this deployment. She didn't know what she was going to do with him. And she prayed to God that Jethro would be safe while he was gone. If something happened to Jethro she didn't know what the hell she'd do to get Tony through it.

Jethro repacked his seabag in record time, all of the pieces fitting into the bag like a giant, heavy puzzle, and when he started unpacking it again, Shannon stepped up. "I think you've got it packed as tightly as possible," she said gently.

Jethro's slightly frantic motions stopped and his hands hovered over his bag, but curled into fists. His lips were set in a firm line and his gaze was hard. He looked…angry?

"Jethro? Baby what happened? What's wrong?"

He was quiet for a long moment, then quickly situated his bag and set it on the floor at the foot of the bed. "Did we screw up?" he asked, his voice nearly a whisper.

"How so? What are you talking about?"

"Tony…when I was in with him. Shannon he got so upset. He finally exploded. He's so angry."

"Well I'm glad he finally let some of it out. You and I both knew he was bottling it all up. It was bound to come out sometime. What did he say?"

"He said we shouldn't have ever brought him home with us, knowing that I would have to leave again. That it isn't fair to him. He knows what it feels like to be left behind—his father dumped him in a parking lot. He knows what that feels like. I tried to tell him this is different…that I don't…I don't want to leave him. I explained that it's different for me to leave than it was when his father left him. But I'm not sure how good a job I did…"

"I'm sure you did just fine. You communicate better with that kid than anybody I've seen on the planet. You and he are like, soul mates or something," Shannon said with a fond smile. "And I'm sure Tony's angry—he's got good reasons to be angry! He's had to be more grown up in eight years than most kids have to do by the time they're 40. He's learning that we are a family, and that we are always watching each other's sixes and that we stick together. He knows we'd never leave him some place where he'd be truly alone. He's only scared because this is his first deployment."

Shannon ran a hand over her hair. "I don't expect him to be happy or excited about it, and probably even when you get home I bet he'll act weird for a while. But the important thing we need to remember—even when he throws it in our faces—is that we chose him because we could give him what he needs. And what he needs is parents who love him and can teach him how to be a part of the human race without having to beat him silly to do it. He needs parents who love each other, and he needs to be taken care of. We are doing all of those things. I know he's scared, and I know he probably said some things to really get you thinking. But I'm telling you Gunny," Jethro looked at her intently, soaking in every word she spoke.

Jethro's wife poked a finger in his chest. "We did not screw up. We did right by that boy, and we've worked our butts off ever since we met him to make sure we have done right by him. We are good parents—and you leaving doesn't change that."

Jethro thought about it for a moment then nodded. Shannon was right. They were good parents; they'd done their very best with every decision they'd had to make regarding Tony to give him the very best care and love and guidance they possibly could. "You're right," he said softly, with a nod. "He really got me thinking though…made me feel horrible, some of the things he said."

Shannon snaked her arms around Jethro's middle and hugged him, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I know," she said softly. "Was he upset when he fell asleep?"

Jethro chuckled. "No…no he was happy…he was going on and on about Lightning McQueen and how fast that car goes…we're gonna be in trouble when he gets his driver's license…I swear he's gonna want a red Ferrari and we're going to be hard pressed to keep it on the road I'm afraid."

Shannon giggled. "I could see that…" she squeezed the hug tighter for a moment, then slid back slowly, her bright green eyes raising to Jethro's piercing blue ones. "So Gunny," she said, one finger tracing casually over the fabric of the t-shirt covering his chest.

Jethro smiled at her. "So."

Shannon's smile grew seductively. "So you spent all that time with Kelly, tucking her in and getting her all settled."

"Mmmhmmm," Jethro said.

"And then you spent all that time with our Little Tony, getting beaten at checkers, and having all the emotional upheaval, before the long heart to heart about Lightning McQueen," she continued. The finger was still tracing a maddening pattern that seemed to be making the young marine breathe harder, his eyes dilating slightly.

"Sure did," he whispered.

"So my question," Shannon said, "Is since all the babies are sleeping…" she licked her lips. "What are you going to do with me? Are you going to tuck me in too?" Shannon's right foot rose off the floor and slowly kicked the bedroom door shut.

Jethro smiled. "I dunno," he said. "If I have my way about it we might not get any sleep tonight."

"You probably have that long flight ahead of you tomorrow," Shannon said. "I'm sure you could get some sleep on the plane."

"Sure I could," Jethro agreed.

"We haven't stayed up all night like that since…"

"Since before Kelly," Jethro whispered.

Shannon's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Do you think you can do it?"

Jethro's eyes twinkled with equal mirth. "Do you?"

"I'm a nurse—I'm used to not sleeping."

"I'm a marine—I have _excellent _stamina."

"Want to test that theory?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Later, long after the clock turned to the early hours of the morning of his deployment, Jethro lay in bed, on his side, and watched Shannon while she slept. He wasn't surprised when she dozed off—much in the same way Tony had—right in the middle of a sentence. He didn't figure she'd remember falling asleep, and he'd never tease her for it. He knew she needed the sleep. In the morning, if she asked, he'd tell her a little white lie and promise that he had the best night's sleep ever. He also knew she'd know he was lying.

He should sleep, he knew that, but he wanted to stay awake for each moment he had with her. He got up and peeked in on the kids, studying each of them for long moments as well, putting to memory the images of Kelly sleeping with her head at the foot of her bed, arms wrapped around whichever stuffed animal was selected for that particular night, the image of Tony tucked up into a tiny ball on his side, one hand rubbing lightly up and down the outside of his arm, even in his sleep; and the image of Shannon, on her stomach, hair mussed up, lips pursed slightly, her body mostly covered by blankets, save one foot that almost always stayed on top of the covers. He committed all of these sights to his memory, locking them away where he would access them only in the quiet, lonely moments of his deployment.

His beloved family.

He was going to miss each of them so much.

xxx

The next morning was quiet and subdued. They woke up early and dressed almost silently, the weight of the day already dragging everyone down. Jethro was quiet, introspective, doing lots of thinking and committing things to memory, while Shannon was trying to be cheerful and encouraging, though it was easy to see it was all an act—she was as down and depressed as the rest of them were. Kelly sat still while her mother braided her hair and didn't complain when the comb picked through tangles in her hair. Tony sat on the couch, staring at the wall, looking like he'd rather be anywhere than where he was.

From the couch, a familiar smell reached him, and he thought he might cry. Mommy was making blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Tony didn't think he'd be able to eat anything, and he was certain that he'd not be able to touch a blueberry pancake while his daddy was away. Maybe never again. He couldn't stand the thought that something might happen to his daddy, but Charlie's daddy had died—that meant HIS daddy could die too. But he didn't talk about it. He didn't want to hear everyone tell him it would be ok. He didn't want to hear everyone tell him not to think bad thoughts. He was thinking bad thoughts, and he knew that everything would NOT be ok. He'd looked at a calendar with Daddy several days ago and he'd shown him how long nine months was. It nearly filled up the entire calendar! Daddy would be gone almost a whole year! And what was worse—he'd miss Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday. This was horrible. This whole year was going to be horrible. And he had school—he didn't know how he was supposed to go to school and act like nothing was wrong.

"Tony?" Daddy poked his head around the corner. He was wearing the same thing he wore most days to work, so he didn't really look any different. Tony tried to tell himself this was just like any other Thursday.

Tony looked up at his daddy but didn't speak. Jethro came over to the couch. "May I join you?" he asked softly and Tony nodded.

The little boy felt conflicted. He wanted to be close to his Daddy—to the person whom he loved more than anyone else. But he knew that being close would only make it hurt more when he left. Tony had spent years living in his box and wishing to be close to someone else. But now that he was able to get close to people, it only hurt him. He took a deep breath and wished he was still living in his box where none of this pain could touch him. He nodded at Jethro.

Jethro sank onto the couch next to Tony and wrapped an arm around his little shoulders. "How ya doing this morning?" he asked.

Tony looked at his daddy. Mommy had sat both him and Kelly down a few days ago and told them how important it was to be honest with Daddy and how even if they were feeling sad or scared it was ok to tell them. That talk, coupled with the talk that he had with his Daddy last night, led Tony to speak his mind.

"I'm scared," he said, his voice just barely a whisper.

Jethro's arm tightened around him just slightly. "Want to know something?" he said softly.

"What?" Tony asked, his eyes widening.

"I'm scared too," he said. "I don't like not knowing what's going to happen, and I don't like that I have to leave you guys for so long."

"Really Daddy? You scared too?"

"Yep," Jethro said with a firm nod. "So how about this. How about we work together on it? I'll help you not be scared, and you can help me to not be scared too."

Tony grinned faintly, feeling a bit better knowing he wasn't the only one who was afraid. "Ok," he said softly, glad he'd been brave enough to tell his daddy what he was thinking. He remembered how his daddy told him last night that he was brave, and how he told him that he wasn't. But maybe his daddy was right after all.

Tony sure hoped so.

xxx

Jethro picked up his seabag and walked it out to the car. He placed it in the trunk and then turned back to the house. He checked his watch again and sighed. It was time to leave. He walked back inside. "Everybody ready?" he called.

Shannon and Kelly hurried from the kitchen. They'd been hard at work all morning making Daddy cookies to take with him. He liked Snickerdoodles—they were like sugar cookies, only rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Now he had a huge ziplock bag filled with cookies to take with him. "We're ready," Shannon said breathlessly, picking up her sunglasses. It was a beautiful day in late August, not too hot and with a gentle breeze blowing.

"Where's Tony?" Jethro asked.

"I think he's still upstairs," Kelly said. "Want me to go get him?"

"I'll go," Jethro said softly.

"Don't be mad at him Daddy," Kelly pleaded. "He's…he's scared. He's never done this before. Not like us."

"I know Princess," Jethro said, dropping a kiss on his daughter's head. "I'm not angry. Be right back, go ahead and get in the car."

Upstairs, Jethro found Tony sitting at his table coloring. "Tony?" he said softly. "Ready to go?"

"Almost," Tony said. "I am almost done."

"Time to leave kiddo," Jethro said. "How much more do you have?"

"Just…a…little bit…morrreee…THERE!" He slapped the crayon down on the desk. "Here you go. This is for you," he said proudly. "So you won't feel scared." He handed Jethro the picture he'd done.

Tony was an excellent artist. He'd always been talented, but as he grew, so did his talent. Jethro's jaw dropped open at this picture. It was a picture of him, wearing a suit of armor, holding a big sword and a shield and fighting a dragon. Jethro was astounded by the detail, the coloring and shading, the picture as a whole.

"That's you," Tony said softly. "To remind you that you're brave too, Daddy." Jethro looked at him with tears filling his eyes. "I don't want you to be scared Daddy, cause you the bravest and best daddy ever. I will be brave here—I will take care of the front of the house—you take care of you and come home again ok?"

Jethro pulled Tony into a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "I will come home to you Tony. It will all be ok. You just gotta believe that ok?"

"Ok," Tony whispered, hugging his daddy back tightly.

Jethro carefully folded the picture and put it in the pocket on the side of his pants. Then he picked Tony up. "C'mon kiddo," he said. "We gotta go."

xxx

When they arrived at the airfield where the plane was waiting to take the numerous marines away from their families to destinations unknown, Jethro and his family piled out of the car. Jethro quickly stepped to Tony's door and helped him out of the car seat he was still fastened into. A thought struck Jethro as he lifted the child out of the car—would this be the last time he did this? Would Tony grow while he was away and not need the extra safety seat anymore? He was old enough to not use it now, but wasn't quite big enough. His mind very briefly wandered back to his first deployment after Kelly was born and his return home…

_***Flashback***_

_Jethro set his feet on the pavement and gave a breathy thanks to God that he'd made it home in one piece. He glanced around, knowing that Shannon would be waiting close by with Kelly to meet him. He'd been debriefed on the plane, so he was free to go. He hoisted the seabag onto his shoulder and took off walking towards the small gathered crowd of people. He smiled brilliantly when he saw his beloved wife, and their beautiful baby girl—such a big girl now—more toddler than baby. _

"_Jethro!" Shannon called, waving wildly with her free hand. Jethro waved back and started hurrying towards them, but stopped short, mouth dropping open in shock and surprise when Shannon suddenly put Kelly down on the ground. The child's blond hair glittered with red highlights as she wavered for a moment, gaining her balance. Then she took one step, then two, then moved suddenly faster, walking straight up to her daddy—the same daddy she hadn't seen since she was only six months old._

_The little one walked all the way up to her daddy and then held her hands up in a "pick me up" gesture. Jethro scooped his daughter up and hugged her close. "Daddy's Little Princess," he said fondly, a hand running down the back of her head. "My gosh you've gotten so big!"_

_Kelly looked at him and smiled. It was a toothy grin that wasn't there before. "Dah," she said, and Jethro thought his heart would melt._

"_Yes," he said softly, hugging her again. "Dah is here and he loves you very much."_

_Kelly hugged him back, patting his shoulder gently. "Dah," she said._

_***End Flashback***_

"Daddy you ok?" Tony's brow was furrowed and Jethro wondered how long he'd been standing there thinking.

"I'm ok," he said with a reassuring smile. "I was just thinking about something, that's all. I'm ok. You ready to go?"

Tony bit his lower lip. "Will it be ok if I say no?"

Jethro smiled sadly. "Totally ok," he said. "You're my big brave boy though right?"

Tony took a shaky, deep breath and nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I'm brave."

"Good," Jethro said. "Me too. Let's go do this."

Tony clung to Jethro the whole way, even after his daddy picked up his seabag. He didn't want to let him go. He wouldn't let him go until he absolutely had to. And then…well then he wasn't sure what would happen.

xxx

The other families were there as well, and Tony was surprised by how many people were gathered at the air strip. He'd thought it was just Daddy and his unit that was going away but there were lots of marines there, all of them dressed like Daddy and carrying seabags.

When they got to the gate, Jethro stopped and he turned around, looking at his girls. Tony still clung tightly to him and Jethro gently put him down.

"No Daddy," Tony whimpered. "I don't want to."

"I know Buddy," Jethro said softly. He got down on his knees in front of Tony and put his big hands on the little boy's tiny shoulders. "But you're my big brave boy. And you're going to stay here and help me remember? You're going to help take care of the girls and help with the house and with Sasha and Archie—you've got lots to do. And we will get to talk some, and I will write letters and you can write me letters and send me pictures and we will keep in touch ok?"

Tears spilled from Tony's eyes and he couldn't imagine that this moment had actually come and that he hadn't managed to talk his daddy out of leaving. "But what about Charlie's Daddy?" he whispered. "What if you're like him?"

"I am going to be as safe as I can be. And I will come home to you as soon as I can. Remember what I told you?"

Tony remembered Jethro's words about how even if he didn't get to come home that he wouldn't be alone. He'd still have Mommy and Kelly, and Grandma and Grandpa. "I…I'm gonna miss you," he said, his voice wobbling and more tears spilling onto his cheeks.

Jethro hugged him tightly and pressed several kisses to the top of his head and his cheek. "I love you Tony. I will miss you every single day. I love you so much. Be my brave boy ok?"

Tony nodded.

Jethro turned to Kelly next. The little girl sprang on him, suddenly clinging and tearful too. "I love you Daddy," she said, her voice cracking. "You're the bestest Daddy ever and we will write you everyday! Won't we Tony?"

Tony didn't answer, he seemed to be kind of in a daze about the whole thing. Kelly ignored him and turned back to her Daddy. "You be safe Mister," she said, pointing a little finger into his nose. "And I'll miss you lots and love you tons!" She hugged him again.

Jethro squeezed her tightly and then let her go and stood up. He turned at last to Shannon. She smiled at him, not a trace of a tear in sight. Jethro knew that would come later, once the children were in bed and she was alone. "My Gunny," Shannon said. "I will miss you." He hugged her and she wrapped herself in his warmth and love, basking in the moment and trying to savor every detail about him. His smell, the strength of his embrace, the feel of his skin…that memory coupled with the memory of the night before would carry her through the coming months. She would be strong. She was his lioness. His rock. The reason he could pack a seabag and go off to places unknown. He would do his job, if, for no other reason, to keep her and his beloved children safe.

He kissed her passionately, pulling her close, mouths probing each others. They didn't care if they were being gross or if they had an audience of hundreds of people. They needed this.

Jethro needed this. He'd miss her. He'd miss them all.

"I love you," he said, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. "Christ I love you."

"I love you too Babe," she said softly. "Go. Be safe. We'll be here waiting for you when you come home."

Jethro smiled at each of them. "I love you all," he said. "I'll see you soon. I'll miss you every day." Then he picked up his seabag, turned, and walked away without a backwards glance. He walked around the plane, where none of his children could see him, and he let two lonesome tears drip from his eyes. How, oh how, was he ever going to survive the coming months without them?

xxx

Shannon and the children returned home somberly. There wasn't any discussion, none of the usual chatter coming from the backseat. When they arrived at the house, Tony bounded up the stairs and disappeared into his room. Shannon followed after him, knowing that he might be hungry—it was just after lunch time and there hadn't been time to eat before they took Daddy to the air strip. "Tony? Baby you ok? You hungry?" she asked softly.

"Go 'way Mommy," Tony was lying on the bed, face down, buried in his elbow. "I wanna be alone. Jus' go 'way."

Shannon went back downstairs and made lunch. She and Kelly sat at the table, Kelly wondering why Mommy didn't make Tony come down and eat too. "He just needs some time, Baby Girl," Shannon told her. "He's having a rough time with all of this."

"Do you think it would help if I talked to him? I could tell him what it's like."

"Maybe tomorrow. I think this afternoon Tony just wants to be sad. And that's ok. It's a sad day. We'll cheer him up in a bit ok?"

"Ok. Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I go over to Maddie's house and play?"

Shannon studied her daughter for a long time, considering the answer. Finally she nodded. "Let me call Maddie's mother and make sure it's ok first," she relented. She quickly made the phone call and learned that Kelly was more than welcome to come play, if she thought it would cheer her up. Shannon nodded at Kelly, who wooped and raced out the door.

"_How's Tony taking it?"_ Myra's voice spoke softly through the phone.

"Not so well," Shannon said sadly. "He is upstairs crying. He won't come down and he refuses to eat. I'm not sure what to do…Kelly's been doing deployments since she was six months old."

"_Just give him some time to adjust,"_ Myra advised. _"I think Tony will come around. Just will take some getting used to,"_ she said.

"I hope you're right," Shannon said softly, her eyes on the ceiling. "I hope you're right."

xxx

That night after she carefully tucked Kelly and Tony into bed, and then sat with Tony, talking, singing, and reading to him until he fell asleep, Shannon dragged her weary body down the hall to her own bedroom. She was tempted to just fall into bed, but she didn't feel ready to do that just yet. The afternoon had been a long one, filled with emotional outbursts from Tony, made doubly raw by Kelly's absence. She'd stayed at Maddie's house until almost bedtime, calling and begging to stay for dinner as well. Myra said she didn't mind; Maddie's daddy was away on deployment too, and it seemed to make it easier for the girls if they weathered it together.

That left Shannon with Tony. Tony was angry one minute, sad the next, throwing a tantrum any time anyone asked him a question, and just generally out of sorts. Shannon was closely watching for signs of a migraine, but so far hadn't seen any. Once Kelly came home, Tony growled at her too, and Kelly sulked off to her bedroom where she would be safe from Tony's upsets. Shannon spoke gently to him, and quietly reminded him that they were all having a bad day, that they were all sad, and that he needed to remember that they were all as upset as he was. Tony had crawled up into bed then and hadn't moved much since then. Shannon was concerned, because Tony hadn't eaten a bite of anything all day—surely he was going to get sick if he wasn't careful.

All of that was done now though. Both children were in bed, hopefully for the night, and both were sleeping—hopefully for the night. She didn't count on it though. And she knew it'd be up to her to keep an eye on things and keep an ear out for them in the night. But for now, she knew they were both sound asleep, so she went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She got the water hot enough, then slowly stripped out of her clothes, remembering the night before with her husband. She got into the shower and felt the water run over her. Only then did she allow the tears to fall. Only then did she allow the quiet sobs to wrack her frame. Only then did she bend over and vomit the day's food into the drain. She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around her middle, crying her heart out. She stayed in the shower until it was cold, sobbing and crying, and praying to any God she could think of to please keep Jethro safe, to keep him alive, to bring him back home sooner rather than later.

She knew it was a choice she'd made by marrying him, but Shannon didn't always want to be strong. She didn't always have all of the answers. She didn't always get what she wanted. And right now, more than anything, she wanted her Jethro back. It was so much better to do this with him than it was to try and survive it without him.

"Please God," she whispered, as she slipped her arms into her bathrobe. "Please God, keep my Jethro safe."

She prayed almost continually until she was in bed (the bed that was too large for just her) and the lights were out.

_Please God keep my Jethro safe._

She wondered, as sleep came, if anyone in the universe could hear her. And she wondered if they were listening.

_Please God keep my Jethro safe._

TBC…


	7. Letters

_Thanks as always to my wonderful friend, and beta, Gotgoats, for all your help with this story. You're awesome!_

**Author's Note:** I have decided to show the deployment through a series of letters. Please forgive me if the chapter seems a bit choppy, or if there are misspellings or instances of incorrect grammar—we are going to experience it in the same way the Gibbs family experiences it—in snippets, written by each of the family members. Enjoy!

**Author's Note 2:** One of my dearest and closest friends is moving far far away this weekend. It might take me a few days to get another update to anything posted. I'm going to try to spend as much time with my friend as I can. Don't know when I'll get to see them again. Needless to say, I might be channeling some of that in this story, even though there are no military deployments involved in my situation. This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend whom I will miss horribly. Love you lots!

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 7: Letters****  
**

_**August 31**_

Dear Everyone

Wanted to let you know I made it here safely. You can write to me if you'd like. I might get to call sometimes, but it won't be very often. I don't have time to write a lot now, because I have to go set up camp. I'll write more when I can. Love you all. Miss you tons.

Love Daddy.

xxx

_**September 12**_

Dear Daddy

Hi Daddy. We have been practicing writing letters at school. I am in 1st grade. Did you rember that? School is hard, but I think I am doing ok. Sometimes it is hard to think about school. My teacher tells me I am going to be a artist one day. I like to draw. I draw alot. I drawed you a picture and put it with this letter. I miss you lots. Bedtime stories by mommy are not as good but she trys hard. Things here are ok. I miss you lots. Will you come home soon? I looked at the calender and it says you only been gone for 3 weeks. We got a long way to go. I love you Daddy. I am gonna go play outside now.

Love you Tony.

xxx

_**September 12**_

Dear Daddy,

Hi Daddy! How are you? I hope you are good. I miss you! Maddie heard from her daddy and he might get to come home soon. Do you ever see him? If you see him tell him I said hi. So how is work. I have sooooooooo muchhh homeworrkkkkk this year. And math. Math is kicking my booty. I hate math. Mommy says I have to try to learn it even though I don't like it. Do I have to try to learn it? Mommy says it will make me smart. But you always tell me how smart I am. It's all very confusing.

I am trying to take good care of Tony—especially at school. He has some friends but I see 'em out on the playground (during stinky math class) and it doesn't always look like Tony is having fun. I talked to him about it and he said he is fine, but he doesn't look happy. His friends don't play with him much. I told Mommy and she said she would talk to Tony's teacher about it. I think Tony's friends should be nicer to him. He's a good kid I don't know why they are so rotten to him. I heard other kids make some fun of him because he likes to draw so much and because he wears glasses. I wanted to punch 'em in the nose but Tony told me not to cause he didn't want me to get in trouble. I guess he's right.

I miss you Daddy! They reopened the playground and there is a bunch of new stuff to do. Me and Tony and Mommy are gonna walk up and see it and maybe play some. It's warm out today. And almost the weekend! But weekends are more fun when you're here. I wish you could come home. I miss you. But I already said that. Love you Daddy! Tons!

Love Princess Kelly.

xxx

_**September 12**_

Dear Jethro,

Hi Baby! How's things? You doing ok? I miss you like crazy!

Things here are going as well as can be expected. There have been ups and downs. Tony is adjusting, though is still way more withdrawn than I'd like him to be. He's trying though, and he's working hard to keep his attitude in check (we all know how Little Tony can be when he's grouchy)…I think there's some trouble at the school though…Kelly tells me that some of Tony's friends aren't being very good friends these days. I have a parent-teacher conference scheduled for my day off next week. I am hoping to get to the bottom of several things. I have a feeling the teacher doesn't really "get" Tony. So I'm going to explain him to her and help her to understand. He's going to need a LOT of support this year—and if she can't make that happen then I'll be looking to have him moved to another class. But I would like to give her a fair fighting chance first. So we are going to talk.

Kelly is doing amazingly well. She's adjusted and slipped right back into her routine and is just handling this deployment like a champ. You'd be so proud of her. She's so good with Tony too, always making sure he's included if she's playing with other kids, and if they play here she's always very nice to him and shares with him. She's so grown up Jethro. It's just amazing to see. I wish you could see it. She's a little spitfire though—we're going to have to keep an eye on her. I have the feeling she's ready to pick a fight on the playground with several kids from Tony's class. I have a parent-teacher conference scheduled with her teacher as well for the same day as Tony's though, so I'll make sure her teacher knows what's going on too.

Work is good. They FINALLY put me on a set schedule after I begged. It's just easier for me to be home in the evenings with the kids…my boss knows about you being gone and about Tony and Kelly, so she finally worked it out so that I can work 7:30-4:30 Monday through Friday and be off on the weekends. It's not the same rotation as I'm used to, but so far it's good. I have a bit of vacation time saved up and they're telling me I have to use it before the end of the year. So I might take the kids up to Stillwater for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Haven't decided yet. Holidays with you gone aren't the same. Might be good to have a change of scenery. I'll ask the kids what they think. I'll let them help me decide what to do. I'll have more vacation time saved up by the time you get home so I'll be able to take some time off while you have leave and we can be together. Together. That's a nice idea, isn't it?

Oh by the way, we received a deposit in the bank from your payday. You did great setting that up—we have plenty of money to make it through until your next payday. We aren't struggling financially for anything, and I am actually able, with what you're sending us, to put most of my paycheck back for savings. You know, so we can maybe do that thing we talked about. I vote we throw a dart at the map and see where we land. I'd like to be closer to Mother and Jack. Guess we'll see where the winds blow us, won't we? That's what we've always done.

You'd laugh at the kids. They're so eager to hear from you—I've had to make a calendar for them and mark which days belongs to which kid so they can take turns checking the mail. Thank goodness there is only mail delivery on 6 days a week. I think if there was mail delivery on Sundays it would be my turn to check the mail. Just to keep things balanced you know. They miss you like crazy—you're all they talk about. They can't wait to write you, can't wait to hear from you, can NOT wait to see you on the webcam (when are we doing that?) and I swear we are counting down the months, weeks, and days until you come home. Of course we don't know when that is exactly, but we are guessing.

Well honey I guess I should go. The kids are itching to go to the playground and try out the new equipment. Ever since that summer when Hernandez was killing all of those girls…you know the playground has really been abandoned since then. But the neighborhood group got together and they've pretty much reconstructed the whole place. It's wonderful. The children are so excited—all of them, all over the neighborhood. So I told Tony and Kelly we'd go up there after dinner. They insisted that we all sit down to write you before going to the playground though. I thought Kelly was going to wet herself today when your letter came. It's really not the same around here without you. I miss you so much. Everything about you. The way you snore in my ear when you sleep and we're snuggled up, the way you always leave your dirty freaking socks under the bed (Seriously I have had to do major recon missions to recover your socks!) the way you always set your coffee cup on the side of the sink instead of never ever putting it in the dishwasher…I'd put up with all of those things and never complain about them again if I could have you back here. We miss you Daddy. We love you soooo so so so so so much. Kelly is reading over my shoulder and telling me how gross I'm being. I keep telling her one day it won't seem gross to her and she keeps rolling her eyes at me. Guess I'll show her. I love you baby. I miss you so much. Be safe. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love you so much.

Always, Shannon.

xxx

_**September 30**_

Dear Tony

Hey Little Man! I got your letter! I was so glad to hear from you! And your picture was really fantastic—I love the new playground! It's wonderful, I can't wait for us to be able to play there together! You did a great job of drawing it so I could see exactly what it looks like. And the map is very helpful too. I can picture everything!

I did remember that you are in 1st grade. That's wonderful! How is school going? Making lots of friends? What is your favorite subject? You are getting quite good at writing letters. I am impressed. I think by the time I get home YOU are going to be reading ME bedtime stories!

So your teacher thinks you're going to be an artist. I think that'd be exciting! You have the talent for it. Gonna take good care of your mom and dad when you get bigger—we can retire out and live in style while you make wonderful pieces of art and sell them all for lots and lots of money.

The weather here is very hot. I had an afternoon off the other day and got to go into town and go shopping some. I will bring you all some presents home when I come. I hear you're being brave and doing a great job of taking care of things there. I am so proud of you. I know how hard this is. You're being so brave. Good work!

I love you buddy! Talk to you soon ok?

Love Daddy.

xxx

_**September 30**_

Dear Princess Kelly,

Thank you for your wonderful letter! Listen to your mother. You must do your math homework. You are smart, there is no denying it. But you must do your math homework. How are your other subjects going? I was never a big fan of math when I was in school either. My favorite subject was gym. My second favorite subject was recess. My third favorite subject was lunch. Please PLEASE turn out smarter than your old man, yea?

That makes me sad to hear about Tony and his friends. I'll talk to Mommy about it. Are you still noticing things happening? Do not, I repeat: DO NOT get into a fight with those other kids. Tony is absolutely worth sticking up for, but we've talked with you about not hitting others and why that's important. It's important that you remember that. Learn to defend yourself and your family with your words, and not with your fists, Baby Girl. It will take you far.

I heard a joke the other day, and it made me think of you. Here it is:

What time does a duck wake up?

Answer: At the QUACK of dawn.

Ok ok here's another one:

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Answer: Because they use HONEYcombs.

Go ahead. You can admit it. I know you're laughing.

Sounds like you're being brave. I'm so proud of you Kelly. You're so amazing. I love you so much! Talk soon.

Love Daddy

xxx

_**September 30**_

Hey Momma,

I'm glad to hear you guys are doing ok. Things here are hot as hell and dry, but I guess I expected that. I miss the rain, and I miss clouds in the sky and I miss not being sunburned all the time. Ah well. Guess I signed up for this, didn't I?

I love that I get letters from you every day. Makes it feel like I am still part of things, you know? I was glad to hear that the parent conference with Tony's teacher went well. I'm glad she was understanding and that she is making some extra effort to help Tony out. He needs lots of encouragement, but I don't need to tell you that, Momma. You know it. I worry about him. I know how hard this is for him. It makes me sad that he's having so much trouble with the other kids in his class being nice to him. Sure kids will be kids, but he's had it so rough already, and then with me being gone it makes things that much harder for him. I'm not surprised he's so withdrawn. I would almost prefer him to be acting out ya know? I hate the way he pulls in on himself. Is there anything I can do to help?

Kelly does sound like she's adjusted well. That's good. How are she and Tony getting along? I know sometimes they squabble, but mostly they seem like they're good buddies. Is that true with me being gone too? I hope so. Sounds like her teacher had some good ideas for getting her interested in math. Hopefully they will work out something to hold her interest. I think she's bored. She's so smart it's scary. She must have gotten her smarts from you because I don't think I'm that bright sometimes. I wasn't a very good student in school.

I was telling some of the guys about you all the other night. We all had duty so we were up all night. I was telling them about Kelly and what a little fireball she is, and I told them about Tony and how we got him and how much he's grown since then. Can you believe we've had him two years now? Time has flown…he's so big now. Such a big boy. And I told them about you and what a rockstar you are—you are truly amazing. A beautiful wife, a wonderful mother—you're everything I could have ever asked for in a wife. God you're amazing. I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate you and how much I appreciate you choosing to be my wife—knowing everything that would come with it. You knew the deployments would be hard, and yet you signed up for it anyway to marry a grump like me. How did I get so lucky?

Things here have been really quiet so far, which is a good thing. They are still investigating what happened with Charlie's daddy. In fact, imagine my surprise when I ran into Agent Hetty over here. She was as surprised to see me as I was her. Her team is investigating what happened. Can't say a lot, but they think there might have been some…recklessness involved. But things here are quiet, and they're good, and every day that passes is one day closer to me coming home. Nothing definite yet, but it's looking like late spring. I should be home before summer vacation starts. Seems like an eternity from now.

I am getting morose so I'm going to go. Some of the guys are going to have a pickup basketball game, so I'm going to go get in on that. I miss you all. I miss you so much it hurts. And I love you and I'm proud of each of you. Give the kids hugs and kisses from me. Love you so much Momma. See you when I see you.

Love Jethro

xxx

_**November 14**_

Dear Daddy

Sorry this letter is not being writed by me, but I falled down and broked my hand last week. I was playing at the playground with Griffin and he and I was climbing and then I losed my grip and I falled down. I landed on my hand and it crunched like my leg did. I knowed it was broke so I gotted up and told Mommy what happened and she taked me to a doctors. They made me get a cast on my hand, but thank goodness it not a big cage like my leg was in. Mommy and a doctors say I gotta wear a cast for 7 weeks. I looked at a calendar and it will be after Christmas afore I get my hand out of a cast. So for now Mommy say she will write down every word I tells her. That's why this looks like Mommy writed it instead of me.

How are you Daddy? Are you being brave? I wanted to draw you another picture, but I can't a cause of my hand. All the kids at my school wanted to sign my cast, but I only let a few people. I got a red cast. And a doctor says I can get the cast wet, but Mommy says it still not a good idea. So now if I have ta take a bath I have to wrap my arm up in plastic and Mommy puts tape on it and then I can get inna bathtub. But I can't do a lot with my hand cause it's broked. I wish you was here Daddy. My teacher at school, not my main teacher Miss. Lodge, but my other teacher, Miss Shepherd, she helps me when I gotta write stuff at school. And Mommy talked to Miss Lodge and she said it would be ok for Mommy to do my writing for me at home. Eating is hard because you have to use your hands to eat with. Mommy helps me some, and so does Kelly. I feel like a big baby cause I used to be able to feed myself and now I need so much help.

I miss you Daddy. I looked at the calendar and it say you have been gone for 3 months. Does that mean you get to come home soon? Mommy says probably in about 6 months you will get to come home. That's half a year! We learned that in school. Mommy and Miss Lodge say I am smart. Do you think I am smart?

Love Tony

xxx

_**November 13**_

Dear Daddy

TONY BROKE HIS ARM! He was climbing at the playground and he slipped off the bar and fell and he landed right on his arm. He didn't even cry though. He just got up and went and told Mommy and Mommy kind of freaked out a little bit, but tried not to, and she made us go straight home and get in the car. Tony got a red cast. He let me sign it! I am being extra helpful with him now, because I don't want him to be sad because he can't do stuff, so I do things to help him. I helped him eat his sketti the other night. I think he's sad though. He doesn't smile much anymore and he almost never laughs. Even when I tell him the jokes you always put on your letters, he barely cracks a smile.

Mommy signed me up for cheerleading! Grandma said she would help pay for the uniforms and shoes and stuff but Mommy said we could afford it this time without help. Isn't that COOL? But I have to keep my grades up (even math) and I have to make sure all my homework stays caught up or Mommy says I will have to stop the team. I get to start in January. I'm excited! Our uniforms are purple and gold and I get to wear my hair up in a big ponytail and have ribbons in it and I get sparkly pompoms—I'm so EXCITED! I wish you could come watch me though. I will see if Mommy can take my picture and send it to you. I can be your very own cheerleader now! GO DADDY GO!

I miss you. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. I don't like that you're going to be gone. Makes it not as much fun.

Love Princess Kelly

xxx

_**November 11**_

Dear Jethro,

Don't have a lot of time to write, but wanted to let you know what was going on. We were at the playground yesterday afternoon right after I wrote you and Tony was playing with Griffin (it's funny how good of friends they've become after their very rocky start) and turns out the bars on the jungle gym were a bit wet (it rained here last night) and Tony slipped. He fell off the jungle gym and he landed right on his little arm. Then he got up and started over to me, and I met him halfway, and he showed me his hand and arm and told me very matter of factly that it was broken. It makes me sad how he knows that. He shouldn't know that. So we took him to the ER and sure enough, he broke his wrist. They braced his arm for us and said in a couple of days we can see the orthopedist and get him casted. I already made the appointment with Dr. Trexler and he said he'd take care of Tony's arm. So we're going to go tomorrow and get him a cast. Tony says he wants a red one.

I'm worried about him, Gunny. He didn't even cry when he broke his wrist. He's withdrawing more and more as time passes and I'm getting really worried about him. His teacher has told me that at school Tony isn't playing with anyone and that he eats lunch by himself every day and doesn't talk to anybody. I am wondering about getting him in to see a counselor, but I'm not sure. He's really having a rough time though. He's started having nightmares again—horrible ones—like he used to have when we first got him. He hasn't had any night terrors yet, but I am really afraid they're coming. The nightmares are really cutting down on his sleep though, and he was already sad and depressed to start with and it's just getting worse and worse. He's barely eating. The only thing he does do without a lot of complaint is his homework. He really is taking school seriously. I don't know what to do for him. In the evenings he's getting to where he's so tired he just melts down at the smallest things…now this mess with his arm has complicated things even further, and he's…he's lost without you. And I don't know how to help him with that. What do you think?

How are you? Are you ok? Been hearing some disturbing things on the news and am not sure where you are, so it's tough to not be afraid all the time. I try not to show the kids I am worried, but I think they are picking up on it anyway. They're like that. The kids loved talking to you on the webcam last week, and they are looking forward to a phone call from you soon. I talked to the kids and we've decided to stay home for Thanksgiving, and then go to Stillwater for Christmas. Jackson's going to let us stay with him, and then Mother will come up to his place for Christmas morning and dinner and all that. So it should be fun. Just won't be the same without you. Jackson and Mother are going to come down here for Thanksgiving. That will be good—Tony needs all the help he can get and holidays are tough times anyway. So I think I'll make Jackson his buddy for the week.

I need to go now. Time to make dinner, and help Tony with his homework, and get the munchkins bathed and into bed. I love you Gunny. I miss you so much. We all miss you. Love you babe.

Love Shannon

xxx

_**November 26**_

Dear Tony

Hi Buddy. I'm so sorry to hear about your broken wrist. I broke my wrist when I was about your age—I fell off of a jungle gym too. Just like you did. It really hurts. I bet you're being extra brave now, aren't you? Mommy said you didn't even cry when it happened. I think I maybe would have. I'm glad everyone is helping you write. That will let you rest your arm so it gets better faster. Make sure you are eating your meats and veggies too—that'll help that bone get stronger. Drink lots of milk too. I bet Mommy would even put some chocolate in it for you.

I am doing good here, Tony. I still have not seen any rain, and the temperature during the day is like the hottest day you can imagine there. And at night it gets SUPER cold. It's hard to know what to wear for this weather—should I pack a jacket or should I take off my pants and run around in my shorts? Ok maybe that was a mental image we didn't need. I had another afternoon off and got to go explore some of the town close to where I am staying. It's a lovely town. I don't know how people can stand to live in this heat all the time though. I seriously might sweat my whole face off.

How is school going? I hear you aren't wanting to play with your friends much or talk to them. I think that's ok for a bit, but you gotta play with them if you want them to stay your friends. Kids can be funny like that—they like to have people to play with. I know you're having a rough time of it right now, even though you are being very brave. I am hoping once I get back home that I won't have to leave anymore. Might get lucky. I heard from Gabby a few days ago. She wrote me a letter from North Carolina. She said that she is sorry she switched units and didn't get to go on deployment with us, but that she's glad she can stay with Baby Jacob. Did you know that Baby Jacob is almost 4 years old now? He's getting to be a big boy too. Gabby is living with Craig and they are having a lot of fun together. Gabby is even having a new baby! And she's in school too. She's doing great. She said she was going to write to "Kelly and Decaf" so if I were you, I'd be on the lookout for a letter from Gabby.

How was Thanksgiving? I heard Grandpa and Grandma got to come visit you all. Did you have fun? I sure missed you. I missed Mommy's thanksgiving dinner too—it's yummy. Did you eat some sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie for me? We didn't have a thanksgiving dinner here like we'd have back home. We had burgers and fries. They asked us if we wanted to have that big huge meal and everyone here said it's so hot that we should just skip it. I think the burger may have been made from turkey, but I don't want to think about that.

I've been gone now for about 4 months Tony. That means we're almost halfway done with this deployment. You're doing great—everyone who writes to me is telling me what a big boy you are and how helpful you are. I'm so proud of you. You're amazing and awesome and I couldn't be any prouder of you. You just keep doing what you gotta do. You keep being brave. Try to get out and play with your friends some. I'm sure they miss you.

I talked to Scott's daddy the other day. He says to tell you hi. I love you baby boy. Miss you so much and I am so proud of you. I can't wait to see you.

Love Daddy.

xxx

_**November 26**_

Hi Kells!

How's my Princess? Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Tell me. How are things in your part of the world?

I'm so excited to hear about the cheerleading! You'll be very good at it by the time I get home, so I expect you to show me some of your cheerleader moves. I can't wait to see! And Mommy said she would send me a picture of you wearing your cheerleading uniform so I can see you. I'm sure you are the prettiest cheerleader that ever was.

How's school? Heard you got high marks on your math. A's! Good job! Way to go! I knew you could do it! No stinky old math problem is going to beat MY kid. Good job Sweetheart. I'm very proud of you.

Here's your joke:

What is worse than being bitten by Dracula?

Answer: Shaking hands with Captain Hook!

Ok here's another one. This one might be too easy for you—you being so smart and all.

What keys are too big to carry in your pockets?

DonKEYS, TurKEYS and MonKEYS.

You laughing yet? How about one more.

How do you know carrots are good for you?

Answer: You never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

So the moral of the story: Keep your hands to yourself, don't lose your keys, and always eat your vegetables.

I hope you are having a great week kiddo. I'll write again soon, Baby Girl. Love you.

Love Daddy.

xxx

_**November 26**_

Dear Dad,

Hope this letter finds you doing well. I heard you made the great trek to California for Thanksgiving. At least it's warmer there, right? Did you have a nice trip? I'm sure it was good to see everybody. How is JoAnne doing? Did you all fly out together?

I'm writing you because…because I don't know who else to talk to about this. I'm really worried about Tony. You saw him Dad, how is he? I mean really? I think Shannon's been pretty honest with me about the whole thing, but I also know they don't want me to worry. Is he really doing ok in his cast? Is his arm healing up as it should be? Is he really as withdrawn as everyone keeps hinting that he is? How can I help? You were in the Marines when I was a kid…how did I handle deployments? Did I do well like Kelly does, or did I struggle with it like Tony is? How can I help him to feel better? I am so worried about him. I don't like hearing that he's withdrawing from his friends or that he eats lunch by himself everyday at school. Breaks my heart Dad. Makes me feel like a horrible parent for putting my kid through that.

I've decided not to re-enlist. I'm not trying to jinx my deployment or anything, but I've had some time to think about things, and after hearing how hard this has been for everyone…well I just think it's time for me to find something else. I signed up for some online classes through a college correspondence school. Haven't told Shannon yet. Not sure what she'd think. But I think I'm going to pursue a degree in criminal justice, and I think I'm going to double up and do forensics too while I'm at it. That way I can take my military experience and maybe do something in law enforcement. Could be fun, and I might still work with the military. I have some ideas. We'll just have to see how everything pans out.

How are things in Stillwater? Quiet as usual? How is the store? Do me a favor…take some pink roses to Mom's grave for me before Christmas? I know she always liked pink roses.

Guess I better go now. Hope to hear from you soon. I love you Dad. If I don't get to write you again before, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. Miss you.

Love Leroy.

xxx

_**November 26**_

Dear Shannon

Things are getting tense here. I'm in Kuwait. They finally gave us the ok to give that bit of information out. Though that seems weird, what with things getting tense and all. Might be slower to respond to the letters. I had a bunch of free time today so I wanted to write to everybody and catch up. Had duty last night and am off until tonight. You know I never sleep when my schedule is like that so I thought I'd write everyone instead. How's your mother? How was Thanksgiving?

Hearing about Tony's struggles is concerning. I haven't gotten a letter from him in a few days. Is he doing ok? Struggling because of his cast still? Is there anything I can do to help him? Anything at all—you know I will do it. Do you think me shoving my way into a phone call would help? Or would it just upset him more? I know last time you said he cried for hours after you all got off the phone. I don't want to upset him more, but I'd love to help if I can. What I would really love is to get out of this stinkin' country and come the hell back home to my family where I belong.

Gotta go. An alarm just went off. Talk soon. Love you baby.

Love Jethro

TBC…


	8. Letters 2

**Warning: **Might be a few tears along the way. Oh and there's a cliffhanger.

**Author's Note:** I am continuing the deployment through a series of letters in this chapter once again. Please forgive me if the chapter seems a bit choppy, or if there are misspellings or instances of incorrect grammar—we are experiencing it in the same way the Gibbs family is experiencing it—in snippets, written by each of the family members. Enjoy!

_Thanks as always, to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats. Your help is essential to making this story happen! THANK YOU!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 8: Letters 2****  
**

_**December 25**_

Dear Tony

Hi Buddy! Merry Christmas! I hope Santa Claus was good to you and that he brought you everything you wanted! How ya doing big guy? How's the hand? I seem to have lots of questions today don't I?

Things are good here. We had a quiet day today. We all sat around and played cards and stuff. I saw Santa fly over and he blinked at us as he passed by. I think he must have been heading straight for our house because I know I have 2 of the best behaved kiddos on the PLANET living in my house. Although…I heard you weren't going to be home for Christmas. I think you'll be back by the time this letter gets there. You went to Stillwater to see Grandpa and Grandma, didn't you? How is Grandpa? I'm sure you helped him to have a good Christmas. I think he gets lonesome sometimes. Don't tell him I said so.

So the weather here is HOT. I have not seen any rain since the rain we had at home, the day before I left. No rain. It's sad.

How's the rest of your Christmas break going? I know writing is hard for you right now with your hand, but I'd like to hear how things are going, if you're up to it. I miss ya buddy. Can't wait to come home and give you big hugs. Are you going to read me a bedtime story when I get home? I'll be pretty tired—I'll bet I'll need one. And a big kid like you…well you're just the guy for the job. I miss you so much Tony. You're being so brave. I checked the calendar—we've only got about 4 more months. We're over halfway there! Can't wait to see you. Merry Christmas Son. Love you bunches.

Love always, Daddy.

xxx

_**December 25**_

Dear Princess Kelly

Merry Christmas Baby Girl! How was your day? Did Santa bring you lots of good presents? Hope so. Are you having fun up with Grandpa and Grandma? How are they? Did Mommy have a nice Christmas?

I miss you all like crazy. We had Christmas dinner today, but it didn't taste very good. Maybe I am just spoiled to Mommy's cooking. What do you think? And we didn't have any cookies except for the ones that you all sent me, so I shared them with all of my friends. Now I'm out of cookies. Hint hint: Make more! We all love the cookies.

Here are your jokes. Brace yourself. Some of them are painfully silly.

OK. Why does Santa Claus go down a chimney?  
ANSWER: Because it SOOTS him.

Ok ok ok here's the next one.

Why does Santa have a garden?  
ANSWER: Because he likes to ho-ho-ho.

Ok ok I have more. Hang on. Gotta write them out. Telling jokes goes faster when you can just say them.

Where does Santa go to practice going down chimneys?  
ANSWER: To a Chimnasium.

One last one. Because I am wishing for cold weather.

What do you get when a vampire crosses a road with Jack Frost?  
ANSWER: Frostbite!

Ok baby girl. I think it's nearly dinner time here so I'm going to end for now. I hope you are doing well and that you are enjoying your Christmas vacation. Love you bunches Sweetheart.

Love Daddy.

xxx

**December 25**

Dear Shannon

Hi Baby! How's Stillwater? Did you get the requested snow for Christmas? I haven't seen snow on Christmas in years. Man that'd be a treat. Maybe next year we can ALL go to Stillwater for Christmas. Just so you know—and I am trying to be positive here—Christmas this year sucks. I miss you all so bad it hurts. I don't think I am going to make it without you! I miss you so much! I miss the way you feel when I hug you and the way you smell and the snarky little smile you get when you're being wise…God it just makes my gut hurt when I think of you guys and how much I miss you and wish I was there. No one around here is in the Christmas Spirit much. There's no reason to be. We're all stuck here, thousands of miles from home, thousands of miles away from everyone we wish we were with. Oh the guys here are great, and we are like a family, and we're making the best of it, but I think we all agree that we'd like to be home instead. I'll stop whining now. Just needed to get it out of my system.

I WANT RAIN. God it's hot and it's sunny and at night it's frickin freezing and I miss the rain. On the up side though, my knee hasn't been achy from the humidity over here. It's a nice switch. Maybe the only nice thing about this place.

God I'm whiny. Maybe I should go take a nap, yea? That's what we make the kids do when they get whiny. Could be because I'm tired. I think mostly I'm tired of not being at home. I'm tired of sleeping on the ground instead of my bed and I'm tired of my uniform and I miss my sneakers and shorts and I miss my jeans pockets and I miss t-shirts with pockets in them. I miss your food and I miss the smell of our laundry detergent and the way our house smells and I miss the ocean and I miss the dog and the cat and the kids and…and you. Oh man I miss you. I miss the way you look when you first wake up in the morning and I miss the way you smile and the way you speak, and the way you're so strong and always in control—and have I ever told you how sexy you are when you're like that? Sometimes…DO NOT LET THE CHILDREN READ THIS…sometimes…at night…when I'm layin there and it's dark…I can close my eyes and almost pretend like I'm home with you…and sometimes I get so hard just thinking about you. I miss you so much.

Wow. I'm getting all stirred up. Ok Before I embarrass myself completely, I'm going to go take a nice. cold. shower. I need you. I need you like I need air. I love you so much.

Merry Christmas Baby.

Love you. Jethro.

xxx

_**January 7**_

Dear Daddy Dearest!

Happy New Year! Sorry I did not get a chance to write you before now but we were gone to Grandma's til almost new years and then we came back and there was a new years party for the kids and then we had to go back to school and I got a bunch of homework and then I caught a cold and it's been SO STRESSFUL DADDY! But I am writing to you now. Do you like my cursive letters? I am getting better at it—I have been practicing.

I asked Tony if he wanted me to help him write you a letter. He got his cast off right after we got back from Grandma's but he still has to wear a brace on it and his arm is all skinny where the cast was. He told me he didn't want any help. He said he would write you later. I think I will have to stay on him to write you. He doesn't want to do much of anything these days. Mommy said that was ok while we were on vacation at school, but I think he thinks he can just sit around and do nothing now that we're back in school too. I had to do my homework—even when I had a cold! Mommy went to my school and got my work for me to do. I'm kind of worried about Tony Daddy. I don't know how to fix him.

I guess I'll go do my homework now. I love you! I miss you tons! I love your jokes too—they always make me laugh.

Love Princess Kelly.

xxx

_**January 19**_

Dear Daddy

I got my cast off finely. And I got my brace off to. My hand don't work like it used to. Mommy and a doctors say it will get better but I got a keep praktising. I am going to go do my home work now. Bye.

Love Tony.

xxx

_**January 29**_

Dear Shannon,

What the hell is up with Tony? He barely writes to me anymore! Is he ok? I mean I know this is hard for him, and I know I've heard that he's withdrawing, but he barely wrote me 3 lines last time! Is he angry with me do you think? God I wish I could come home.

Only had a second to write before I have to go on Duty. Just wanted to see what was up. I love you baby. I miss you so much. All of you.

Love you, Jethro.

xxx

_**February 8**_

Dear Jethro

Hi baby. I miss you like crazy. Things here are hard, as I'm sure you're picking up on. Kelly's doing fine, making good grades, loving the cheerleading…but Tony…I wish there was some way for you to come home, Gunny. Every day he just retreats a little more and a little more. He's quit sleeping on his bed. There were several nights when…he's started wetting the bed Jethro. And I haven't gotten mad—not at all—but he's…he's started sleeping under the bed again. Every night I tuck him into his bed, and every morning I wake up and he's underneath it. I've begged him to come out from under it and sleep up on the mattress. He refuses. He says if he sleeps in the floor that he knows he won't make a mess. But…I'm wondering. Sometimes when I'm in his room I can almost smell it. I think I'm going to ask Jewel to take him with Scott somewhere for the day one day, and I'm going to send Kelly to Maddie's and I'm going to clean under his bed. I think he's still having some problems and I think he's not telling me. I'm really worried about him.

I did get him in to see a counselor, and the counselor thinks that Tony has something called Separation Anxiety Disorder. It's not just a fear like "Oh gosh my daddy's leaving!" It's like this really deep seated, anxiety disorder. It can cause night terrors, changes in language, changes in overall behaviors, depression, withdrawal, that sort of thing. She's been reluctant to have him put on medication for it so far, but if he keeps on we might have no other alternative. At least until you get home and things get better. I don't know what to do. Mother thinks the medication would help; Jackson isn't sure what to do. I'm not sure what to do either. What do you think? What's your gut say?

Kelly's doing so great with the cheerleading. I included some pictures for you – of both of the kids. They're growing so much. Tony's grown out of his car seat. Kelly is riding up front with me some. Gosh things are changing so much and so fast, and I wish you were here to see it. I'm trying to keep you as filled up with pictures as I can, but it's impossible to capture every single moment. Work is good. I got a raise! Which is awesome—because now I am putting even MORE money into savings! Our savings account is happy these days—and it's drawing interest too, so every day it sits there it's getting bigger. It's wonderful. You are the reason we've been able to save so much. You've taken such good care of us financially while you've been away. You haven't shorted yourself have you?

Do you need me to send you anything? Kelly and I are making cookies tomorrow. We'll get those sent off. We might even throw in some instant coffee for you. Bet you'd like that! You could dunk your cookies in something other than lemonade and beer.

I'm going to try to get Tony to go to the playground with me and Kelly. He hasn't been wanting to do much. He's started sleeping a lot too. I think he might be having night terrors again. He's not screaming in his sleep, but he wakes up just exhausted. I'm going to talk to his counselor, and I'm going to call Dr. Walters too. Let me know what you think about the medicines. Gonna go for now. Love you honey. Come home soon. I want you back. I'm tired of sharing. It's my turn now. MY. TURN. COME HOME. Miss you.

Love Shannon.

xxx

_**February 15**_

Dear Shannon

Hey babe! I got some exciting news today! Remember I told you that I was applying to that college correspondence school online? I got accepted! I'm going to do that criminal justice thing that we talked about. Don't know if it will turn into anything or not, but it's worth a shot, right?

How is Tony doing? Are things getting any better? I read your letter and it just makes me sick to think that Tony is struggling so much with this. It's been 6 months—we're almost there! As for the medicine…I am not in a place to make that call for you Shan. I trust you to make good choices that will make Tony's and your lives easier and healthier. If I was there, I'd probably prefer him to not be medicated, but since I am gone…I'll back you whatever you decide. Do what you think is best for him Momma. I don't even have to tell you that—I know you will. You always do.

I miss you. I was all set to call you this morning and tell you in your ear how much I miss you, but one of the guys, his wife had their baby last night. So he wanted to use the phone. And well. Ya know I get it. I do. But dammit it sucks. Thank goodness for letters right? I barely even get time to check my email. As we get nearer to the time to leave, I probably won't have as much time to write. Doesn't mean anything's happened, just means I'm hauling ass trying to get outta here.

I love you. Gonna go for now. Let me know what you decide about Tony.

Love you! Jethro

PS. I have an idea that might help to cheer Tony up. I will work on it from my end.

xxx

**TO: hettylange  
****FROM: leroyjethrogibbs  
****DATE: February 19****  
**

**RE: Favor To Ask**

_Dear Hetty,_

_I have a huge favor to ask of you, if you are back LA and can swing it. I am still on deployment, and I am getting letters every day from Shannon, telling me about what a mess they're in because of Tony. He's not handling the deployment well, and he's really withdrawing and worrying his parents. I know that he absolutely adores you and Ducky, and was wondering, if you two have a bit of free time (and if Ducky is even in town?) if you would mind to drop by and see him. I think it would give him a change of pace and might pull him out of his funk. If you are too busy I understand, but it would really mean a great deal to Tony, Shannon, Kelly, and myself, if you could maybe try to cheer him up. I'm stuck here for about two more months, it's looking like. I'm not sure Tony is going to last that long. He's fading more by the day, Shannon is telling me._

_Thank you so much for this. I know it's a lot to ask, but it would really help I think._

_Jethro Gibbs._

xxx

**TO: donaldmallard  
****FROM: hettylange  
****DATE: February 20****  
**

**RE: I need your help**

_Donald,_

_Rec'd email from Jethro Gibbs yesterday about his little boy. Jethro is on deployment and Little Tony is struggling greatly. I got in touch with him thru MTAC last night and was able to speak with him for a few moments. Tony has been diagnosed with Separation Anxiety Disorder. As of yet they are not medicating him, and the child is seeing a counselor. Jethro practically begged for the two of us to pay his Little Tony a visit if we are available._

_I grilled Jethro a bit on Little Tony's health. The child has not been sleeping well, is losing weight, isn't eating properly, is barely speaking. He's withdrawn from his friends and from activities. He's still doing his assignments for school, but his marks and his behavior are both beginning to slip a bit. He is seeing a counselor now, and the counselor has diagnosed him with Separation Anxiety Disorder. Shannon, the poor dear, is at her wit's end, not knowing what to do for Tony or for Jethro. Their daughter seems to be coping best of all of them. After speaking with him, I am extremely concerned for the little boy's health, both physically and mentally. If his daddy thinks we can help to cheer him up, then I'd certainly like to give it an opportunity._

_When would be a good time for you and I to drop down to Oceanside? You are still in LA aren't you?_

_Regards,_

_Hetty_

xxx

_**February 28**_

Dear Jethro

You, my dear, are a miracle worker! We got the nicest visit from Agent Hetty and Dr. Ducky this past weekend! It took Tony a bit of time to warm up to them, but Hetty began to play detective with him, and they had so much fun. Ducky checked Tony over by "playing doctor" and Tony just went right along with him and let him check him over and they just had a grand time together. Hetty left him a notepad like the one she uses and told him to practice taking notes, and Ducky left him with a handful of tongue depressors, long cotton swabs, and a stethoscope—a real stethoscope! He was happy to see them—but the moment that took the cake was when Hetty told Little Tony that she'd been sent to visit him on Special Assignment by Daddy! Oh Jethro he was so excited—it was the most life I've seen out of him in 4 months. And they were really wonderful—they stayed the whole afternoon. They ate dinner with us, then when it was bedtime they each read a story to Tony before they left. He's got a little detective kit that Hetty brought him in addition to the notepad, and he's been playing—actually PLAYING!—with it. When he isn't playing Detective, he's playing Doctor. I am so relieved to see him acting a bit more like himself. He even went to the playground with Scott and Griffin yesterday. Scott has been very worried about his friend, so I think this made him feel better too. What a wonderful idea you had!

I love you so much! You're brilliant! Kelly said she wrote you a letter too, and I think Tony is finishing one up now. We'll get them all together and send them your way.

Love You! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Shannon

xxx

_**February 28**_

Dear Daddy!

Mommy showed me how to paint my fingernails! They are PINK! I think I want to get some purple nailpolish too, but I'm not sure when yet. I have been saving my allowance for a new CD Player for my room. I almost have enough money! Mommy says I have been very thrifty. What's thrifty mean? At first I thought she meant thirsty, but I was having a drink when we were talking about it, so I'm not sure. Is Thrifty even a word?

School is good. We have spring break in a few weeks. Close to Tony's birthday I think. We are starting to plan his birthday party. He's not being very helpful—he says he wants to wait until you are home to celebrate anything. He wouldn't celebrate Christmas, or New Years, or Valentine's Day either! He did celebrate Mommy's birthday though, because he knows it makes her sad when he doesn't want to play with her and go places with her. We went out for pizza and then went to a movie. It was fun. I hope she had a good birthday. I washed all the dishes and made her a bead necklace.

I miss you Daddy. Tons and bunches! When are you coming home? It's nearly March and Tony says you have been gone almost 7 months. He counts the calendar each day to see when you are coming home. I got a letter from Gabby. Did you know she's having a baby Daddy? She says she likes North Carolina but that it is very different than California. Have you ever been to NC Daddy? NC is the abbreviation for North Carolina. We learned that in school too.

Mommy says it is almost bedtime so I'm going to go now. I got to go brush my hair so it doesn't get all snarkly. I love you Daddy! I miss you so much!

Love Kelly-Bug

xxx

_**February 28**_

Dear Daddy

Sorry I have not wrote you in a long time. Sometimes I do not know what to say. Most days I try not to think about you because I miss you lots and I get sad when I think about you. My hand is all better. I can write and draw again. I made you a picture and I will put it in a onvelope with my letter.

Agent Hetty and Doctor Ducky came to visit. They said you sended them to check on me cause you was worried about me. Why you worrying about me for Daddy? I am ok. I am not good but I am ok. I miss you. Agent Hetty leaved me a Detecktive kit and say I should pracktis being a detecktive. She say I can be like her when I grow up. Will you be back before I grow up? I miss you Daddy. I do not like you being gone so long. Please come home Daddy. I be good if you comes home. Please?

Mommy is makin me go to a new doctor. It is called a Count-seller. But we don't count anything and we don't sell anything and we don't buy stuff. She's a nice lady and we play some. She asks a lot of questions and I don't always know the right answers. Sometimes I don't even want to talk to her so I don't. I know that might be rude though, and I don't want to be mean to her so I always say goodbye to her when I leave.

Can you come home yet daddy? I know the calendar says you been gone 7 months, but can't you please come home yet? I miss you lots.

Love Tony.

xxx

_**March 12**_

Dear Jethro

I have to tell you, I am at my wit's end here. I don't know what to do. Tony is refusing to go to school and had a complete meltdown in the hallway outside his classroom this morning. Really made a bit scene. I'm worried about him. I have been taking him to the counselor, and last week we decided to hold off on the medicines and now this week this happens and the tantrums are becoming more and more frequent and he's getting difficult to handle. I know he really can't help it, and I'm really trying to keep my patience with him, but it's getting tough. I think we're going to try the medications after all. He told me he doesn't want to go back to school because school is dumb. Does that sound like our Little Tony to you?

Kelly got into a fight on the playground yesterday. One of Tony's friends finally made a comment about Tony that was loud enough that she could hear it and boy she went off. She laid right into him and by the time the kid's mom and I got over to where they were, she'd already blackened his eye and given him a bloody nose. His lip was busted, but we aren't sure that was from a punch. She plowed his face into the dirt when she tackled him so we're wondering if that's not where that came from. She's quite scrappy Jethro. I didn't know whether to be proud of her or to whip her ass right there on the spot. I didn't spank her though…because we haven't ever…and I don't believe that it really fixes things to do that…and it would have freaked Tony out even more than he already was…so we helped the kid up and his mom was pretty pissed at him for running his mouth and she dragged him away to their house so she could clean him up and I dragged Kelly away too. She's grounded. Indefinitely. I can't have her beating people up—even if she's doing it for all the right reasons.

This deployment has been harder for me than all of the other ones put together. I hope you understand when I say that I can't do another one. You've got to get out Jethro. I love you so much and I miss you and I am struggling everyday to not be upset like Tony or be angry like Kelly because you're gone. You've got to come home. We can't do this again. Not like this. A week or a month here or there is one thing, but this…almost a year…this is too much. It's too hard for the kids and it's too hard for me and we're falling apart here. I don't have anyone on my team here. I know I have you here in spirit, and I know that you're doing everything you can to support me from way over there. But you gotta know that – and I'm sorry for this – sometimes baby, that's not enough. We'll finish up this enlistment, but you gotta get out. You have to. We'll figure it out if it means we both bag groceries at the grocery store. We'll do it together, but we gotta do something differently.

The kids are in bed, is why I can write this letter to you right now. That way I can let it all out, have a good cry about it, and then bundle this letter up to drop in the mail to you in the morning. Tony's counselor got really firm with him the other day when he wouldn't speak and now he says he doesn't want to go back. I am pretty upset with her for her tone of voice, and have explained to her that she needs to find us another counselor because Tony doesn't need someone to get angry at him for his feelings right now—he needs someone to be supportive and to draw him out slowly. Fussing at him and reprimanding him 1—is MY job, not hers; and 2—is out of bounds for her job anyway. She said she understood (it was not a subtle point I was making) and that she would help me find someone different for him. I think honestly though, I might get Dr. Walters to help us find someone. He has a pretty good grasp on Tony. He might even be able to do it himself. Pissed me off. Lots of things piss me off these days. I think maybe I need to get laid. Maybe you should come home soon yea?

I love you so much. And I really hate to dump all of this on you. But if I tell my mother then I get the "I told you not to marry a marine" lecture—which really, after almost 15 years of being married to you, she needs to get over it because I love you and I'm not leaving you. And if I tell your dad then he feels guilty because he didn't come stay with us and help. But there was no way for him to do that long term. You're my best friend and you're my partner in crime, and I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't tell you what was going on. This way you'll at least have some idea of what you're coming into when you come back home. Have you heard anymore about when that might be? I know you can't give me details, but ballpark? Are we still hoping for May?

I love you so much. I know I just said it. I'm saying it again. I love you so much. You're big and brave and a wonderful marine and a WONDERFUL FATHER! and I am so blessed to have you in my life. I just am frustrated to shit right now with the USMC. I want my partner back. I want my husband home. I am over this Jethro. OVER. IT. Want me to go see the base commander? I can beg! Come home soon! I love you!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

—Shannon

xxx

_**March 20**_

Dear Shannon

You think you're dying there? I am dying over here! I need you so bad I can almost smell you on the breeze (ha, who am I kidding, what breeze?) and every time I close my eyes at night I dream about you and your sexy body and the way your eyes glow when we… And I dream about the kids and the pets and the parents, and ohmygod I miss you so much I can't stand it.

It sounds like things there are really rough. I am so sorry honey. I am sorry that I put you through this. I know you knew what it meant when you married me, but neither of us counted on this I don't think. I don't blame you for being frustrated, I only wish I could fix it. For what it's worth though, there's no one else ON THE PLANET that I'd feel better about leaving my kids with than you. You're an awesome mom—and even awesome moms get to the end of their ropes sometimes. I talked to the head dude in charge over here and he confirmed that the time frame has not changed. Little over 5 weeks to go. Letters will probably start slowing way down before then because I'm going to be hauling ass to help get everything finished. New group gets here about 2 weeks before we leave so we can do the switchover, but if we get it all done early then there's a chance…well I don't wanna get my hopes up.

I am worried about Kelly wanting to fight so much. How can I help with that? Would you like me to write her and talk to her about it? I like that she wants to defend her brother. That's good. But there are other ways to do that which won't wind up with her being in trouble and some poor kid getting his face pounded in. What do you think? I'll write her if you want me to.

And Tony. Oh gosh what a mess. I noticed he barely even acknowledged that I was online the other night when we got to skype with one another. I've been writing him, but I am rarely hearing back from him. I know this is hard for him. The last letter I got from him…it broke my heart. I want so badly to fix it and make things better for him, but I really don't know how to do that. Calling on the phone upsets him you said. I knew that Hetty and Ducky would be a temporary fix, but I was hoping it'd last longer than that.

I want so badly to help you. I understand why you can't talk to your mother or my dad about what's going on. I get it. I love that you are so honest with me—lots of the other marines are getting letters here that are just so full of sunshine and rainbows that we all want to vomit. We all know how much deployments suck. I appreciate you telling me that things aren't perfect there. Sure it makes it hard for me because I want to be there to help, but the honesty makes it bearable. I like knowing what's going on. God knows our lives aren't perfect when I'm home either—so if you blew smoke up my ass I'd know it. If venting to me helps, then please—go for it! I can take it, trust me. I'd be more worried about things back home if you told me everything's great.

Time for dinner here, so I'm going to sign off for now. Please let me know if I can help you. I love you so much. Thank you for doing this with me. I know it's hard. You's a brave Momma.

Love you! xoxo Jethro

xxx

_**April 3**_

Dear Jethro

We had Tony's birthday party today. I know his birthday isn't until Monday the 5th, but I figured, since it's Saturday, we could have the party. And Kelly and I worked so hard on it. We got all his friends from the neighborhood to come, and we had the party up at the playground. He played mostly with Griffin and Scott, but everyone ate cake (strawberry of course) and everyone ate some ice cream. Tony got some good presents and the weather held up which is nice. There was talk of possible rain here today, so I was glad it held out. It can rain all it wants to now. Tony told me he thought it was going to rain. When I asked him why he thought so, he said it was because his leg told him so. I'm wondering if we should get him screened for arthritis. When he pointed to the spot, it's very close to where that break was in his leg.

We started him on medicine and he's feeling a bit better these days. At least he's talking now. Going to school. Not melting down in the hallways anymore. I'm not convinced he's sleeping better, but he says he is sleeping fine. He slept in his bed up until two nights ago when he had a nightmare and wet the bed. Now I'm back to trying to get him out from under the bed.

Kelly is doing better. I lifted her grounding for the day so she could go to Tony's birthday party, but warned her that the first time she acts like she might get into a fight with someone I will ground her from the playground for the whole summer. I won't have my kid being the bully on the playground. Not. Going. To. Happen!

So how are things with you? Did it ever rain there? I know you said it might. Granted, the rain in the desert is probably what, 5 drops? Not enough to get anybody wet. That must suck. I bet everything is so dusty. I bet you are so dusty. Perhaps I will put you in the shower when you get home and scrub you properly. Assuming of course, that I can stay focused long enough to get you clean before I have my way with you. I love you so much Gunny. I'm so glad we are almost to the end of this thing. I know you are glad too. I appreciate that you let me vent to you. I know it makes you feel helpless because I know you want to help, but letting me talk to you DOES HELP!

Hang on a minute…there's someone at the door…Be right back…

TBC…


	9. Spring 1

_Special Thanks to Psyche53 for helping me with the research on Separation Anxiety Disorder. I used the information heavily in the last couple of chapters. Gotta give credit where it's due and Psyche made it possible for me to write that. Thanks also to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats! Your help is also essential to making this story happen! You rock!_

_**WARNING: **MAJOR MAJOR ANGST AHEAD! TISSUE WARNING! BE ADVISED—THESE ARE NOT HAPPY TIMES!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 9: Spring 1****  
**

Shannon was writing a letter to Jethro when she heard a knock at the door. She put the pen down and stood up. Tony and Kelly were watching a movie in the living room and barely spared her a glance as she moved to the door. Her eyes widened when she saw who it was.

There were two marines standing on her porch, each of them in uniform, each of them wearing frowns on their faces. "Mrs. Shannon Gibbs?" one of them asked softly.

"Yes," she whispered. Her hand rose to her stomach and she tried to swallow around the knot in her throat. "Can I help you?"

"Ma'am my name is Lt. Dorsey. This is Cpl Messer. May we come inside please?"

Shannon nodded dumbly, her gut rolling, not wanting to think about why two marines would be paying her a visit like this. She stepped out of the way and allowed them to enter. Tony and Kelly looked up, surprise on their faces when they recognized the uniforms, but not the men wearing them.

"Mommy?" Tony asked softly. "Who is that?"

"These are two marines here to visit," Shannon said softly. She glanced at the two visitors. "Won't you come into the dining room with me?" she said softly. "That way the children can continue their movie."

They nodded and Shannon started to lead the way. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at her kids. "I'm going to be in the dining room if you need me," she said quietly. "You won't bother me if you come in there, but if you want to keep watching the movie you can."

"Ok Mom!" Kelly said and Tony turned around and stared at her. He nodded silently and watched as the grownups left the room.

Once they were in the dining room, Shannon offered each of them seats. "Would you like something to drink?" she asked. "I have tea and water and lemonade."

They each politely declined, taking seats across from the table. Shannon quickly gathered up the papers from where she'd been writing Jethro. "Sorry about the mess," she said, nervously fussing with the papers. "I was just writing my husband a letter. He's on deployment."

"Mrs. Gibbs, it might be good for you to have a seat," Lt. Dorsey said.

Shannon froze. Her hands trembled slightly around the papers in her hands, causing them to shake too. She set them firmly on the table and then sank into the chair she'd been occupying so happily only moments before. "Ok," she said softly.

"Mrs. Gibbs we were asked to come here tonight to tell you that—"

"He's dead isn't he?" Shannon's voice was flat. The grief hadn't set in yet, there was only numbness. There was no pain yet. No tears. No emotion. Only blessed numbness.

"No," Cpl Messer said. "No he isn't dead."

Shannon's eyes grew cold. She was coping the best way she knew how. She would maintain her control because she had to. "Then why are you here?" she asked softly.

xxx

_**Kuwait: Yesterday**_

Jethro was helping his unit break down several storage buildings. They'd been put together several years earlier and now that their purpose was served and things were finishing up at this location, it was time to take them down. Whenever the military occupies a place and sets up camp there, they try to remove everything once they are finished. Most of Jethro's mission on this deployment was cleaning up. The war was over, things were finally calm once again. His deployment was still considered to be a combat situation because the areas all around them were still volatile and there were still ongoing resolutions being made with those other countries—resolutions that were still in the planning stages and hadn't been started yet. Anything could still happen. So each of them were armed and ready for war at all times, but for the most part, there was lots of guarding, lots of packing, lots of sweeping.

Jeremiah Edwards, Scott's daddy, strolled over to the spot where Jethro was working and smiled. The two had become good friends during the time they'd been away. They'd met on several occasions before, but hadn't really spent any great amount of time together. They'd become good friends this deployment though. Jethro was thankful for anything positive to come out of this whole hellish ordeal. "Got a letter from my kid today," Jeremiah said proudly. "Said Little Tony is teaching him how to throw a football. Said his daddy taught him how to."

Jethro smiled proudly. "Yeah? I might have shown him a thing or two," he said. "And I might have been the quarterback on my high school football team."

Jeremiah smiled and took a drag off of his cigarette. "Tony's the one you adopted right?"

Jethro nodded. "Yeah. We got him when he was five. Had him for two and a half years now—can you believe it?"

"Nah," Jeremiah said. "That's crazy! Time flies…"

"Not when you're on deployment," Jethro grumbled.

"There is that, Gunny," Jeremiah said. He took another long drag off of his cigarette. "There is that. Guess I oughta get back to work. Sooner we get all this shit packed up the sooner we can go home, right?"

"Fine with me," Jethro agreed. "Wish we actually had some say in it."

"If we had say in it we wouldn't be in this shithole in the first place. God I miss rain!"

"You and me both. I will never complain about the rain ever again!"

They shared a chuckle and Jeremiah waved as he started off again. Jethro turned back to the building. He picked up the broom and just as he stepped back inside, his world erupted in a cacophony of sounds and light. He gasped once and let out a cry as pain erupted throughout his entire body. He remembered falling, he grunted when his body impacted the ground.

And then blessed darkness swept over him, and Jethro knew no more.

xxx

_**California: Present**_

The marines sitting at the table across from Shannon exchanged an unreadable look before looking at her. "There was an explosion," Lt. Dorsey said. "It happened on the base where Gunnery Sgt Gibbs has been working. He was working with others to clean out a storage building and it exploded."

"You said he's not dead?" Shannon's voice was pained now. Her hands shook a bit more and she bit the inside of her jaw trying to keep her hold on her emotions.

"He's not dead. He was critically wounded though."

"So he could still die," Shannon breathed.

"That's right ma'am," Cpl Messer said softly.

"What um…I don't know if you can tell me or not," Shannon said, her voice wobbling. "I um…I'm a nurse. Can you tell me what kinds of injuries he has?"

"We know he sustained some head trauma. He's currently comatose," Lt. Dorsey said.

Shannon nodded. She sat still for a moment before her features paled even further. "Would you please excuse me—for just one moment?" she said politely, rising from the table.

"Yes ma'am," they said.

Shannon nodded and headed for the bathroom. She clasped one hand over her mouth and quickly knelt over the toilet, throwing up her dinner.

This couldn't be happening. Not this close to being finished. Not this close to never having to do it again. This could not. be. happening.

The sound of her retching was not lost on Tony's sharp ears. He quickly turned his attention away from the television and stood up. He watched as Shannon left the bathroom, and she looked very sick. She hadn't looked sick earlier. He decided he would go check on her.

By the time he reached the doorway, Shannon was seated back in front of the two marines at the table. "Mommy?" he spoke softly, not wanting to disturb them if they were in the middle of something important.

"C'mere baby," Shannon said, and held out her arms. Tony quickly scrambled up into her lap. "Kelly," she called. "Come in here please."

Kelly appeared in the doorway a moment later. The sound of the movie was still drifting lazily through the house. Kelly saw the look on her mother's face and the way Tony looked so scared. She equated it with the visit from the two men sitting across from her. "Mom? What's wrong? What are these guys here for?"

"Sweetheart I need to talk to you and Tony." She took a deep breath and steeled herself for the hellstorm that this would start. She wondered if she'd be strong enough to get them through it. "These two men are marines. They work with Daddy."

"Have you seen my Daddy?" Tony asked softly. "He's onna deployment. He's apposed a be home soon!"

One of the marines, Tony didn't know who was who, winced. Shannon tightened her grip around him. "Tony we need to talk about Daddy. These men are here to give us a message."

"What message? Is it a message from Daddy? He been writing to us. Why not this time?"

"Mommy is Daddy dead?" Kelly whispered.

Tony whipped around and looked at his sister in horror. The color was gone from her face and she looked as sick as Mommy did.

"No," Shannon said firmly. Each of the children looked to the marines visiting them for confirmation and they both nodded in agreement. "No he isn't dead. But he did get hurt. Something blew up and he got hurt."

"Is he gonna die?" Kelly's voice wobbled horribly.

"We don't know yet. He was hurt pretty bad."

"Does he have someone to put bandaids on his boo-boos and read him stories when he feels yucky?" Tony asked softly.

Shannon stopped, unsure of how to answer that.

Cpl Messer, who had a seven year old of his own, spoke up. "Yes. He's at the hospital. They're taking very good care of him there."

"Is Daddy gonna go to heaven Mommy?"

"I don't know baby," Shannon said, hugging him tightly. "I just don't know."

The marines stayed for a while longer, giving her information on how to get in touch with a key volunteer—someone who would be able to give them more information on Jethro's injuries and his condition. Shannon scribbled notes hurriedly around her shaking hands, and trying to listen to the marines over the quiet sobs of her children. She needed to get this information, but she would not send her children away from her. Jethro was safe now. He was in the hospital. He was in good hands. She had her own hands full right at the moment. She had to keep the children calm, had to keep their spirits high, had to not freak out in front of them, and at some point…at some point she was going to have to let Jackson and her mother know that Jethro had been injured.

Finally the marines had given her all the information they could. They stood up slowly and she thanked them repeatedly for coming, as she followed them to the door. Kelly clung to her waist, sobbing pitifully and Tony sat on one of her hips as she carried him through the house.

At the bottom of the steps, the marines turned and glanced back at the family they'd just visited. They'd delivered messages like this before, but something about this particular family…the image of the three of them clinging so tightly to one another would be an image that would stick with Lt. Dorsey and Cpl Messer for a long time to come.

xxx

JoAnne Fielding woke out of a sound sleep when the phone beside her bed suddenly rang sharply. The noise pealed through the darkness, startling her awake. She sat straight up in bed and ran a hand over her face, trying to work out what the noise was. Finally she glanced at the alarm clock and saw the time. 3:16am. She picked up the cell phone and looked at it. Shannon. If Shannon was calling her at this time of day that couldn't be good. That had to mean something was wrong.

"Hello!" JoAnne answered.

"_Momma?"_ Shannon's voice was small and JoAnne's gut immediately twisted.

"Shannon? Darling what's wrong?"

JoAnne heard the sound of quiet sobbing for a moment before Shannon was able to speak again. _"It's Jethro,"_ she whimpered.

"Jethro…honey what happened? Talk to me darling."

"_There was an explosion…"_

"Is he…? Did he…?"

"_He's in the hospital,"_ Shannon said softly. _"He's in a coma. He's got head injuries and burns and there was some shrapnel that imbedded in his shoulder. He's in critical condition. I just…the marines came to visit tonight. Kelly and Tony are inconsolable…I just now got them to sleep. They keep asking if Daddy is going to die and I don't know what to tell them. I don't know how to fix this. It's too big Mama…I don't know what to do."_

JoAnne and Shannon talked for a while, letting the young woman express her fears and frustrations to her mother. She told her mother how she'd gotten in touch with her key volunteer and they'd confirmed that yes, Jethro had been stationed in Kuwait, yes there was an explosion, and yes Jethro had been critically injured. They'd been able to also tell her that he was in a military hospital, that he was not in Kuwait any longer, and they had been able to give her more information on the nature of his injuries. He didn't have any skull fractures, he had a severe concussion, the shoulder wound should heal up and leave no major lasting damage—if he survived. It was the IF that was getting to her. Shannon didn't like unknowns. She told her mother all about the problems Tony'd been having, the struggles with Kelly fighting with the other children, the visits to the counselor, the medications for Tony—she told her mother everything she hadn't been telling her for the last eight months.

Finally, after almost an hour of listening to her daughter speak, Shannon stopped. JoAnne searched desperately for the right words. She wished she could spare her daughter this pain that she herself knew all too well—this pain of losing a spouse—but she knew she couldn't and she knew Shannon wouldn't want that.

"Oh my darling," she said softly. "It sounds like it's been horrible for you. I am so sorry. I wish you would have called me. I would have come to help."

"_Thanks,"_ Shannon whispered. She sniffled and JoAnne knew her daughter was crying and trying not to. _"Will…I know it's a lot to ask…but…Momma…will you come? I can't…if they come back to tell me that Jethro's…please…I can't do that by myself."_

"I'll be on the first flight out in the morning. Call Jackson. I'll bring him too. I'll pay for the tickets and go ahead and order them."

"_Really?"_ Shannon's voice sounded slightly hopeful_. "You'll really come?"_

"Of course I will," JoAnne said. She remembered a time when she'd dated a Marine of her own. She knew the fear that came with deployments. "We'll both come. We'll be there tomorrow. As soon as possible. I'll call you with the details as soon as I know them. Go call Jethro's father."

"_Thank you Momma,"_ Shannon breathed. _"I'll go call Jackson now. Thank you. I'll let the children know in the morning that you're coming. This is great. I really appreciate it."_

"Don't thank me darling. I'm your mother. What kind of mother would I be if I weren't there for you?"

Shannon thought back over the way she hadn't really felt like she could talk to her mother the entire time Jethro'd been gone. She decided to save that conversation for some time when she wasn't so emotional. Now wasn't the time for that.

She got off the phone with her mother and went to check on each of the kids. Kelly was sleeping soundly, though Shannon could see the drying tear tracks on her face. She headed next to Tony's room and wasn't surprised to find the child awake. He was drawing furiously, tears streaking down his face, his hand moving like lightning over the paper. She'd left him in the bed asleep only three hours before. Judging by the numbers of pieces of paper surrounding his little chair and table, Shannon wondered how long Tony had been awake.

"Tony? What are you doing up baby?"

Tony whipped around, surprised to have been caught. "I do this every night Mommy," he said softly. Shannon's eyes widened and she realized she'd missed a big chunk of information. All this time she thought he was spending all night every night under the bed. Now he was telling her that he sat up drawing most nights. He must duck under the bed in the mornings just before she woke up. Oh the poor thing, no wonder he was so exhausted and irritable all the time.

"But Tony…Sweetheart, you're meant to be sleeping," Shannon pressed gently.

"I can't sleep," Tony snapped. "Don't you understand Mommy? I can't! If I sleep I—"

"If you sleep you what baby," Shannon said softly.

"I see him," Tony hissed. "I see him and he's here and he's ok and he's not dying. WHEN I GO TO SLEEP I SEE MY DADDY AND MY DADDY IS GONE! He not ever coming back!"

"Now Tony we don't know that, honey," Shannon said softly.

"I do know that," Tony said. "I knowed it since they made him leave. I knowed he wouldn't come back." Tony dropped his gaze to his lap and he sniffled pitifully. "Everybody always leaves me. Everybody."

Shannon went over and scooped Tony up out of his chair and hugged him. "I love you Tony. I won't leave you ok?"

"Don't say that," Tony squirmed, trying to get out of her grasp. "Everybody says that too."

"Ok. How about I prove it to you instead?" Shannon asked gently.

Tony looked at her for a long moment. "I don't know if I will ableeve you or not Mommy," he whispered.

"That's ok Tony. Can you try?"

Tony looked at her for a long moment. "I'll try," he whispered. "But Mommy," he added after a moment.

"Yeah baby?"

"What do we do if Daddy really dies?"

Shannon hugged him long and tight. "I don't know Sweetheart. I just don't know. Do you want to try to sleep?"

Tony shook his head. "I don't think I can sleep," he said softly.

"Well how bout you come and hang out with me in my room. I need to call Grandpa. Do you want to sit with me and help me be brave while I do that?"

"How can I help you be brave?" Tony's eyes were round now. He was interested in the idea of helping his mommy.

"Just by being with me," Shannon reassured him. "Daddy planned everything before he left, just in case something happened to him. He did that to make sure that we would be ok. Would you like me to tell you about his plans after I get off the phone with Grandpa?"

Tony nodded. "Did he make plans for me too?"

"He absolutely did! Now let's call Grandpa." Shannon pulled out her phone.

xxx

Much like JoAnne, when Jackson heard the phone ring in the middle of the night his gut had him instantly awake. He snatched the phone off the bedside table and answered it. "Hello!"

"_Jack? It's Shannon,"_ her voice was soft and rough, and Jack could tell something was wrong. It sounded like she'd been crying.

"Shannon? Honey it's good to hear from you, but…it's late. What's happened?"

"_Oh Jack,"_ she whispered. "_We um…we got a visit today. From two marines."_

Jackson's heart leapt to his chest. While in the Marines, he'd had to make several visits to widowed wives…Surely, surely Jethro wasn't dead! Surely he'd have felt it if his child had died? "Oh…" he managed. "What…what'd they say?"

"_They said that there was an explosion."_

"Shannon…is Jethro dead?"

"_No,"_ Shannon said firmly. _"He's not dead. He's injured. He's in the hospital."_

"Did they say where the hospital is?"

"_No. I know he's not in Kuwait anymore. That's all I know. He has a nasty head injury, and he has some shrapnel in his shoulder. He's comatose too. They don't know when he'll wake up."_

"Do they know for certain that he'll wake up?"

Her silence spoke volumes_. "They're hopeful,"_ she said finally.

Jackson remembered the conversation he had with Jethro just before he left. Now his son's pleading words rang loudly in his ears...

_***Flashback***_

_Jethro stared at the sidewalk, darkened by the predawn light. "What if I die?" he finally pressed out. "What if I don't make it back?"_

"_Now Leroy, you can't be thinkin' like that," his father started._

"_But I have to," Jethro snapped. "You know that as well as I do. You were in the Marines too."_

"_I know," Jackson said. "But ya can't borrow trouble."_

_Jethro sighed and ran a hand over his face. "There's a fine line between borrowing trouble and being prepared if something bad happens. I want to make sure everything is in place. I have to make sure everything is ready."_

"_Is there anything I can do to help you do that?" Jackson asked. He took a sip of coffee and glanced around. The little town he lived in was so pretty. He loved it here. He'd lived here most of his life, with the exception of his time in the military. Once he'd gotten out though, he couldn't wait to return here. He knew that Jethro and his family wouldn't come back if and when Jethro got out of the military, but he did hope they'd live closer._

"_Yes," Jethro said. "There is something." He stopped walking and looked at his dad. "If something goes horribly wrong and I don't come back…I need you to help Shannon with Tony. Help her with Kelly too, but…Tony's going to need…he's going to need you. Shannon and I talked about it…if something happens…they're going to come back here. They're going to find a place and she's going to find a job and they're going to move back here so they can be close to you guys. But…Tony…he'll need a lot of love…he'll need it anyway, just with me being gone, but…but if I don't come…come back…"_

_Jackson pulled Jethro into a hug and he felt tears filling his eyes. "You have my word," Jackson whispered in his ear, and Jethro's fists clung tightly to Jackson's shirt. "You have my word to help him. To help all of them. You take care of you. And I'll take care of them. And once you come back we'll figure out the next step alright? But don't you worry…if something happens…I'll help them."_

_**End Flashback**_

"What can I do Shannon? I'll do whatever is necessary."

"_I spoke with my mother on the phone just a couple of minutes ago. She's buying two plane tickets—one for you and one for her. Could you come and just…"_

"Yes," Jackson said. He stood up and headed for the hall closet, grabbing a towel and heading for the bathroom. It made no matter to him that it was just after three in the morning. He'd do whatever he had to do to get to them. He'd help them.

He'd do it for Jethro.

He'd do it for himself.

He'd do it for all of them.

xxx

Several days passed before Shannon was able to get any more information. Apparently the explosion had started quite the shitstorm over in Kuwait and the media hounds were all over it, trying to get any tidbit of information they could and spin it into a hundred different directions. Shannon called her volunteer contact everyday trying to get more information, and finally, on the fourth day, she got some more news.

The explosion that Jethro was involved in was accidental. NCIS had been on the scene investigating it the day after it happened. After what happened with Little Charlie Jones' daddy, NCIS was making sure that there wasn't some sort of pattern forming here. Turns out it really was accidental. There was some faulty wiring imbedded in the building that no one had noticed, and it had sparked, igniting the weapons stored in the building. When Shannon asked about that, she learned that the fact that there were any survivors at all was a miracle, based on what the volunteer had seen and heard. She knew that there were three people in Jethro's unit who had also been killed, and another three who were wounded. Jethro's unit had been almost completely devastated by the blast. New instructions were already being put into place to prevent this from happening in the future.

When Shannon asked about Jethro she was told that he was still in the hospital. He was still unconscious, but it didn't seem to be as heavy as it had been. They'd operated on his shoulder and gotten all of the shrapnel out of him and he'd been running a fever before, but since the surgery that had gone away. The doctors were sounding cautiously optimistic that Jethro might pull through and be ok. The only thing they were waiting for now was for him to wake up. Shannon's volunteer also told her that the next round of Marines had arrived yesterday, so there was the chance that his unit would be sent home soon. If Jethro woke up before then he'd likely be able to travel back with his unit, but if not, they'd make other arrangements.

Shannon got off the phone feeling lighter than she'd felt in days. Jethro was going to be alright. She just knew it in her gut. She quickly shared what she'd learned on the phone and everyone whooped and yippee'd and yay'ed at the good news. Everyone except for Tony.

The child had been conspicuously quiet ever since the morning after the Marines had come. He simply didn't talk. His teacher was concerned, his friends were concerned, his family was concerned. He just wouldn't talk though. No amount of prodding or begging could get him to speak. He wasn't sleeping, spent hours at night drawing or wandering aimlessly through the house. He didn't go to the playground anymore, barely took Sasha for walks, just seemed to exist. Shannon was concerned. She'd called the pediatrician, but Dr. Walters was at a loss, thinking it was likely just how he processed the stress.

Jackson stayed right by Tony's side. JoAnne stuck to Kelly like glue, and by having both of them there, it freed Shannon up to do what she needed to do, take care of the things she needed to take care of, and provide extra encouragement and support to both of her children, without having to leave the other one alone. It was a nice set up. Still, the thought did not escape her though, that even having both of the grandparents there was not as helpful or as fulfilling as having Jethro at home.

Jethro.

Shannon wondered if he was alright. More than anything she wished she could be with him, be there to help care for him and make sure he was safe and not frightened. She knew if he was awake he'd be worrying the hell out of every medical person on staff trying to get up, get out, get moving, and just making a general nuisance of himself in order to keep going so he could come home.

She stayed in touch with her volunteer who gave her almost daily updates on his condition and how he was doing. Some days Shannon called the volunteer, other days the volunteer called Shannon.

On Tuesday, the week after the marines came to visit, the phone rang in the middle of the afternoon. Everyone had just come in from school, so there was general chaos all around, but everyone stopped cold when the phone rang. It was understood that sometimes the phone calls about Daddy came from far away and it was important that everyone be very quiet so Shannon could hear.

"Hello?"

xxx

Jethro felt like he had weights sitting on his head, chest and shoulder. His entire body hurt. He fought his way through the blackness that threatened to pull him under again. He knew that with the blackness came relief from the pain, but something was making him resist the urge to sink back down. He added eyelids to the list of body parts that felt weighed down as he slowly shoved his eyes open. He blinked weakly several times in the semidarkness, wondering where he was and how long he'd been there. The last thing he remembered was talking to Scott's daddy. They'd been talking about their kids…then…nothing.

A horrible, dry scratchiness made his throat ache horribly and he tried unsuccessfully to use his tongue to moisten his lips and mouth. He was so thirsty. He let out a soft moan of pain as he tried to move. His shoulder didn't like that apparently. Finally his fingers found a plastic button and he hit it, hoping like hell it would send a person to him. He let his eyes sink closed again until he heard the curtains rustling and felt the sensation of being watched.

"With me now Gunny?" a kind, female voice asked. "I've been pretty worried about you sir. Wish you'd wake up."

Jethro blinked his eyes open weakly to see Sarah sitting beside his bed. She was the girl from his unit who had only just started after the whole thing with Pedro Hernandez. This was her first full year in the Marines, and boy was she getting an education.

"Sarah," he croaked.

"Hey Gunny," she chirped, relief evident in her voice. "I'm sure glad you're awake. We've been here a while and I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up."

Jethro opened his eyes fully then, wondering how long they'd been here—wherever here was. "The hell happened?"

"The storage building we were working on exploded. Faulty wiring they're saying."

"We the only ones hurt?"

Sarah's gaze shut down then, and dropped to her lap. "No," she said softly. "Matt Erickson, Marie Thompson, and Brian Tanner…they all died in the explosion…Sir."

Jethro swallowed hard. Those were his people. It was his job to keep them safe and his job to make sure they all made it home in one piece. He'd failed them. A second later another thought occurred to him. "Shannon?" he whispered.

"Do you want some water Gunny?" Sarah asked.

Jethro shook his head. "Needa…call my…wife…" he slurred.

Sarah nodded. "Let me go find the doctor and tell him you're awake. I'll tell them you want to make the call."

Jethro nodded and started to close his eyes when an indecipherable sound caught his ears. He looked around, trying to place the noise, when his eyes rested on Sarah. The young woman was slowly easing a wheelchair out of the cubicle. "Sarah?" he called softly. When she started to turn the chair, his eyes widened when he saw her leg. Well, what was left of it. It looked like it had been amputated just below her knee and was still heavily wrapped in bandages.

"Yes Gunny?"

Jethro blinked, trying to make his eyes focus. "Happened…to your leg?"

Sarah smiled sadly and shrugged. "I was standing right next to the detonation site," she said softly. "They said it's a miracle I was still alive, and more of a miracle that the only thing that happened to me was my leg got blown off. I've got some scratches and bruises, and generally feel like I've been in a car wreck, but I'm ok otherwise. Doctors fixed my leg right up. I get to be out of bed for one hour every day now. I think that means I'm improving. I'm going to go home to Idaho when this is all over with."

Jethro stared at her, his expression a mix of shock and horror and awe. He nodded with pride and she smiled again and disappeared. Jethro began to focus his energy on keeping his body under control. If he was going to convince the doctor and Shannon that he was ok…well he needed to convince himself first.

xxx

"Hello?" Shannon answered the phone softly, nervously.

_"Shannon?"_ A soft voice spoke from the other end of the line. The voice sounded tired and hoarse, but she thought it might be the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard in her life.

"Jethro?" she whispered. Tears filled her eyes and a hand rose to cover her mouth. "Baby are you ok?"

_"You ok?"_ he asked. His speech was slow and slightly slurred. Shannon wondered how long he'd been conscious.

"Yes, yes we're ok. We're all ok. We're better now that we know you're ok too! Oh it's so good to hear your voice Sweetheart!"

_"Can't talk…long,"_ Jethro said softly. _"Gotta go…back to sleep…wanted…tell you…'m ok."_

"I'm so glad you called. I'm so glad you're going to be alright Darling. I miss you. I love you. The kids love you too. Your dad and my mom are here. They're all smiles. We're all so relieved."

_"Love you,"_ Jethro said softly._ "Love all of you…gotta go now…gotta sleep…"_

"Ok sweetheart," Shannon said. "Talk to you soon. Love you."

She hung up the phone and turned to the kids. "That was Daddy!" she squealed. "He's feeling better! He's going to be ok!"

Kelly whooped hugged her mother while Jackson and JoAnne embraced one another, happy that Jethro was going to be alright. Tony had slipped out the back door while Shannon was on the phone. Sasha sat beside him on the porch, forever his best friend, her white coat glinting in the spring sun as she panted in the growing heat. He had a lot of questions, but he felt silly for having them, so he hadn't voiced them. Was his daddy was really ok? If he had been blown up, how had they put him back together? Why did Mommy start to cry when Daddy called? Was Daddy still going to come home? Would he be hurt when he came home? Would things be different? Tony had lots of questions, but sadly no answers. He sat outside for a long time, listening to everyone talk about how happy they were and how excited they were that they'd heard from Daddy and that Daddy would probably be coming home soon. Eventually Sasha laid down beside him on the porch with a soft sigh. He smiled down at her, and she licked his fingers.

The sun had dropped a bit in the sky when Tony heard the screen door slam behind him. Two sandaled feet appeared beside him and then stepped down so that Shannon could join him on the porch steps. "Hi Big Guy," she said softly with a little smile.

Tony glanced at her for a long moment, then returned his gaze to the line of ants that was marching dutifully up the banister. He wondered if they were hungry. He also wondered what ants liked to eat.

"You've been awfully quiet lately," Shannon commented. Tony didn't respond, didn't even look at her. He wasn't trying to be rude. He really just didn't have anything to say. He knew he'd been quiet lately. Sometimes he had really horrible thoughts about Daddy being gone—thoughts about him getting hurt or about him dying. Jethro had told him that he shouldn't "borrow trouble" (he still didn't know what that meant), so he'd kept his thoughts to himself. Though in the past few days, ever since those marines had come to visit, it was harder and harder for Tony to not have those thoughts. The thoughts about his daddy dying came almost all the time now, and every night in bed he had horrible dreams of his daddy dying or of his daddy getting blown up again. He was still not convinced that Daddy was coming home, and he wasn't convinced that Daddy was really ok.

Shannon wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Tony…Sweetheart if you're upset you know you can talk to Mommy, right?" Tony found a piece of dried out grass on the porch and began playing with it. He didn't try to make Mommy move her arm off of his shoulders, but he didn't lean into the touch. He figured soon enough he'd be sent on his way again—after all, look at how long he'd sat on the porch here with Sasha and no one came looking for him. He figured he'd be on his own again soon. He wondered if Sasha would come with him or if they would want to keep her. He'd be sad to leave his dog, but he didn't know how he would take care of her if he was on his own again. It'd been a long time since he was on his own—he wondered if he remembered how to stay safe? It'd be easier now that his leg was fixed.

Besides. If he ran away, at least he'd be the one leaving this time. No one would leave him behind again. He couldn't do it anymore. He was done being left. He was done being forgotten. He was done being hurt. He was done depending on anyone else. Tony was a lone wolf. He wouldn't rely on anybody again. He could take care of himself. He would take care of himself.

All he needed now was a plan.

TBC…


	10. Welcome Home Marine

**Warning: **Go find your tissues.  
**Spoilers:** Spoilers for Terminal Orders.

_Thanks as always to Gotgoats, my wonderful beta, who has helped me so tremendously with this story. You're awesome!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 10: Welcome Home Marine****  
**

The next days passed uneventfully. Jethro was able to call home a couple of more times. Mostly he just spoke with Shannon, but he also talked with his Dad once and even with JoAnne. He told Shannon that until he sounded like he felt better, he didn't want to talk to the kids. He didn't want to scare them. They knew he'd been hurt, but he didn't want them to hear how much he was STILL hurting.

Shannon was pleased to learn that his shoulder was healing up well and that, while sore from the shock of the blast, his body overall was not hurting as badly as it had been.

One night, in the middle of the night, Shannon's phone rang. Her gut immediately tightened, not knowing who would be calling at this late hour.

"Hello?" she spoke softly into the phone.

_"Hi Babe,"_ Jethro sounded much better tonight._ "How are you?"_

"I was almost asleep," Shannon said. "You just caught me. How are you?"

_"I'm doing ok. Better than ok actually. They're going to send me back to my unit tomorrow."_

"Any word on when you get to come home?"

_"It should be very soon. Within the next little bit,"_ Jethro said. He sounded so happy. It made Shannon smile.

"Oh that's just wonderful Gunny!" she exclaimed. "We need you back here. Need you bad."

_"What's going on Shannon?"_ he asked softly. _"Know you haven't been telling me everything. Saying things are great and that you're all fine—it hasn't been that way since I left. Please don't sugar coat it for me."_

"It's Tony," she whispered.

_"Is he ok?"_

"No," Shannon spoke softly. "I mean he isn't hurt or anything but…Jethro I think he wants to leave…he keeps running off. Luckily I've managed to find him every time…he wandered off in the grocery store the other day—made it all the way to the parking lot before I found him. He takes Sasha for really long walks—sometimes they're gone almost a whole hour! It's frightening. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lock him in or make him feel trapped, but at the same time…"

_"When did this start?"_ Jethro asked._ "You haven't mentioned this before in your letters…"_

"It started right after we found out you were alive and going to be ok. I'm just so worried about him. It's bad enough that Jackson is sleeping in the room with him at night to make sure he doesn't leave while we sleep."

_"Is he actually sleeping now?"_

"Not really. But he's promised me that if he wakes up he won't wander off at night. He sits up all night and says he's drawing, but I haven't been able to find any of the pictures…I don't know where they are."

_"I'll be home soon. Maybe that will help him. God I feel so bad about everything…being gone, getting hurt—I know I couldn't help any of it, but I can't help but feel like everything that's wrong is my fault."_

"It isn't anyone's fault," Shannon said. "I know we've both done the best we can."

The two young parents talked a few minutes more before Jethro had to go. She smiled at the phone when the call disconnected. They'd been on the phone for 18 whole minutes. It was the longest conversation she'd been able to have with her husband in eight and a half months. She put the phone back on the charger and laid down. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Her Jethro was coming home. She couldn't wait.

xxx

Once the grandparents heard that Jethro was definitely coming home, they started making preparations to head home themselves. It wasn't that they didn't want to see Jethro—quite the opposite, in fact—but they both knew from past experiences that coming down off of a deployment was almost as difficult as the deployment themselves. There was a readjustment period and sometimes that took a while. Jethro would have to reintegrate himself into normal everyday life and society, and Shannon would have to learn to share the reins again and let Jethro have his responsibilities back. The grandparents knew, as did Shannon and Jethro, that there would be moments when both parents would feel overwhelmed; there would be arguments and disagreements. The children would test Jethro and stretch their limits and the grandparents knew that during this time it would be especially important for the four of them to figure it out together. They didn't need any outside influence. They needed to go through all of it—the ups and the downs—and they needed to work it out on their own.

They got the call two days after Shannon talked to Jethro on the phone that his unit would be returning the following day. Shannon asked about their debriefing period and she was told that the plan was for them to debrief before they left and on the plane. Once Jethro came home he'd be free to return home. He would also be on leave for a while. The grandparents were planning to leave the following morning anyway, their flight back to the airport closest to Stillwater was already booked. They seemed to travel together more often than not these days, even though JoAnne offered to help Jackson switch his ticket to a later time so he could see Jethro. Jackson thanked her for the offer but declined. He needed to get home—they'd been in Oceanside for nearly three weeks and he needed to check on the store. There would be time to see Jethro soon. But Jackson understood that now wasn't the time.

Shannon and Kelly scurried around the house making preparations for Daddy's return. They'd made signs and banners, and the house was clean and shiny so that it would look nice when Daddy came home. Maddie and Kelly were both excited—both of their daddies were returning home at the same time. Scott was pretty excited too, but Tony didn't join him in his enthusiasm. Tony didn't help with the whirlwind cleaning, he didn't help make signs, he didn't get excited, and he still did not speak.

It was as though he'd completely shut down.

For the most part, Shannon let him be. She didn't know what to do with him. His counselor shrugged it off as stress from the knowledge of Jethro being injured, but didn't seem overly concerned by his increased withdrawal. She said it was not uncommon for children to withdraw in this way while their parents were on deployment. The pediatrician was no help either. Shannon tried talking to him and included him as much as he would allow her to, but he just wasn't interested in participating at all in life these days.

When it was time for the grandparents to go to the airport in LA, they all shared kisses and hugs. All except for Tony. He sat on the front steps with a stick in his hand, poking at the gaps between the boards on the steps. Sasha sat beside him. JoAnne moved over to Tony and dropped a kiss on his head with a loving rub on his back. Tony didn't respond. Jackson moved in next, standing in front of Tony and ducking his head so he could see his face.

"Ok Tony?" he said. He sounded so much like Jethro when he said it that for a split second Tony's hopeful gaze rose—and then fell once he realized he'd imagined his daddy standing in front of him.

Jackson sighed and ruffled the boy's hair. "You hang in there son. You've been very brave. Your daddy will be home in just a little bit. Just hang in there ok? Things are going to be better." Tony shrugged out of the touch, his eyes on his shoes, a deepset frown firmly on his features. Jackson leaned over and kissed the child on top of his head and then backed off.

Once the grandparents left, Shannon helped Tony and Kelly get dressed up in clean clothes and get ready. "It's time to go meet Daddy," Shannon told Tony with a smile. "He's coming home today. Are you excited?"

"I'm excited!" Kelly chirped from the other side of the room where she was furiously tying her shoes trying to get them done as quickly as possible.

Tony didn't respond.

xxx

Jethro smiled as he felt the plane bump down. They'd stopped for fuel earlier, but he knew that now, after being in the air for almost twenty hours, this landing had to mean they were home. He glanced at the other marines on the plane with him, all of them sharing smiles of relief. They'd made it home. It weighed heavily on Jethro's unit that so many of their friends and colleagues were injured and killed in the explosion that had nearly killed Jethro and several others. Before leaving the hospital, Jethro had made sure that Sarah had contacted her family and that a plan was in place to get her transported safely back to Idaho as soon as she was able to make the trip.

Finally, FINALLY, the plane stopped. Once the doors opened, the marines quickly scrambled to get unhooked from the safety belts and gather their seabags. Jethro's feet hit the ground on US Soil for the first time in nine months and he took a deep breath. There were other marines who were scurrying past him on the tarmac and not taking the time to relish the moment. Jethro was happy to be home. He loved his country. He loved the energy here. He loved the smell of the air and he was pleased to feel the cool, moist breeze blowing all around him, stirring up his hair and nearly sending his cover flying. He hoisted the bag up onto his shoulders and set off. He knew his family would be waiting for him—all of the families had been notified of the time they should come meet their marines.

It only took a few moments of searching before he heard the almost frantic, excited, "DADDY!" That was Kelly. He turned around and his jaw dropped at how tall his daughter had gotten. It was amazing how much she'd changed. He knew if he'd been here he'd have still noticed, but maybe not as much as being shown all of the changes all at once in his daughter. Her hair was longer, curly at the ends now, and dark auburn like her mother's. It'd lost some of the brassy redness that it had previously held, and was now toning into a beautiful hair color. Her features had grown slightly and her face had matured. He wondered if he was partly to blame for that.

Before Kelly could rush up to him though, he saw someone else racing towards him. Jethro hurried forward and met Tony halfway, smiling as he felt the child all but climb him and chuckling softly, holding him tighter than he'd ever hugged him before. "Oh Tony," he whispered into his son's ear, feeling tears wetting his shirt and tears filling his own eyes. "I missed you son. Missed you so much." He didn't let on about the pain in his shoulder at having some of his stitches pulled. He'd see the base doctor tomorrow if he needed to and get them fixed. Or let Shannon fix them. This, this was more important.

Tony drew back from the tight embrace and stared at his daddy. Jethro was amazed at how much taller Tony was as well, but he was disturbed by how lightweight the child still felt.

"Daddy come back?" Tony asked softly. His voice was hoarse and sounded like it hadn't been used for some time, but the hopefulness in his eyes was what struck him. "You here for evers?" Jethro's eyes narrowed slightly at the reverting speech he heard. He'd heard from Shannon that it was bad, but this…

Shannon approached him and wrapped an arm around his waist, her other arm encircling Kelly. Jethro looked questioningly at her, and she knew he was wondering about Tony. "Those are the first words he's spoken at all in two week," she said softly with a shrug.

"I missed-ded you Daddy!" Tony continued. Though the child was eight years old now, he was speaking more like a three or four year old—he was speaking more like he had when he'd been found abandoned at the fairgrounds, all that time ago.

Jethro hugged his family, squeezing all of them as close to him as he could. "I missed you too Tony. I missed all of you. I'm so glad to be home."

They moved quickly to the car and Shannon asked Jethro if he wanted to drive. "Nah," he said. "You'd better drive. I still get dizzy sometimes…"

Shannon eyed him carefully, looking for signs of information he wasn't telling her, but he seemed to be being completely honest. She nodded and slid into the driver's seat. Jethro slid into the passenger seat beside her and once the children were buckled, they headed off for home.

"Hey Kelly," Jethro said as they drove through the streets filled with houses. "I heard a new joke."

"Ok Daddy!" Kelly said. "Lay it on me!"

Jethro winked at Shannon. "What do you call a pig who does karate?" he asked.

Kelly thought about it hard for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed. Jethro was surprised when Tony spoke up softly from directly behind him, "A pork chop?"

"Yes! Very good Tony! Clever boy you are!"

Kelly burst into a fit of giggles over the pork chop and Shannon chuckled as well. Tony stared out the window and didn't say anything. Jethro looked over at Shannon, concerned, and she just shook her head. He knew she'd explain it later when the kids weren't around, but he knew that things were not good. Tony had not dealt with the deployment well at all. He was still struggling to make sense of it all and to overcome the fear of being left behind again.

Jethro took a deep breath and sighed. It seemed that him coming home was only going to be the beginning of making things better. There would be no easy fix for this one.

xxx

Jethro couldn't wait to have some of Shannon's cooking again, but she looked so exhausted, so drained, that he couldn't ask her to cook. "How about we go for pizza?" he asked. It was a Wednesday night. Their usual pizza joint wouldn't be too crowded. Shannon suggested they get the pizza to go and bring it back home to eat. Jethro seemed ok, but she knew he wasn't feeling great—could tell by the way he was holding his body that his shoulder, neck, head, and ribs were all still sore. Jethro agreed and smiled gratefully to her. He wanted to be back to normal—he would get there—but it would take some time.

They ordered two pizzas, one veggie, as was becoming Kelly's preference these days, and a sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese pizza for Tony and Jethro because they always preferred meat on their pizzas. Shannon liked both kinds so she would eat from both.

They were enjoying dinner, talking quietly amongst themselves and laughing, when a car outside backfired suddenly. Tony's eyes widened when he saw his Daddy flinch at the noise. The flinch was also not lost on Shannon or Kelly, both of whom stopped talking and looked at Jethro with concern.

"You ok Daddy?" Kelly asked softly.

Jethro nodded and smiled at them. "I'm ok," he said. "Sometimes loud noises startle me. That's all. I'm ok." He glanced at Shannon who was eyeing him carefully, looking for lies. Jethro and Shannon had a very open and honest relationship, but it was not uncommon for Jethro to stretch the truth on whether or not he was alright and whether or not he was injured. So Shannon had learned early on to look at his eyes and see if he was telling her the whole truth or not. Jethro looked at her and smiled. _We'll talk later._

xxx

That night Kelly was all smiles and giggles, wanting to stay up all night long giggling with her daddy. "Daddy, Daddy tell me one more joke Daddy pleeeeeeeease before you make me go to sleep pleeeeeease?"

Jethro smiled at his daughter and her love of jokes. "Alright," he relented. "One more. Just for you. Then you're going to sleep."

Kelly smiled and nodded.

"Ok Kelly…Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?"

Kelly thought about it for a long moment. She squinted one eye shut, trying to concentrate even harder. "I don't know," she finally relented.

Jethro smiled and Kelly giggled at the twinkle in her Daddy's eye. "Because of his coffin—kaff kaff," Jethro said, faking a cough on the end.

"Daddy you're so silly!" Kelly exclaimed.

"I know I know I can't help it," Jethro said, chuckling. He stared at his little princess and ran his fingers lightly over her hair, grateful that he'd made it back home in time to see her grow up. "Love you Princess," he said softly. He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Daddy I missed you so much! I'm so glad you finally came home!" she said. She grabbed his face gently between her two hands and looked into his eyes. "Don't go away no more ok? I don't like it when you're gone."

Jethro smiled sadly. "I'll try not to," he said. "I don't like leaving you. I missed you too."

Kelly smiled. "Night Daddy," she said. "I love you. I'm glad you're ok."

"See you in the morning Sweetheart," he said, pulling her door closed.

He took a deep breath as he headed down the hall towards Tony's room. Tony had been nearly silent all evening. He hadn't really left Jethro's side too much…it was odd. Tony was like a ghost of his former self. He wasn't the same child he'd been before Jethro left, and Jethro couldn't help but wonder if he'd broken his son completely by leaving him—even though he'd been powerless to stop it. He stopped at the door and took a deep breath and slowly turned the knob. Shannon was sitting in the room with Tony.

Tony was sitting at the table near the window, and his hands were moving furiously over a sheet of paper. Jethro wondered at how Tony could make his hands move so quickly and accurately across the page. He glanced at Shannon, sitting on the bed watching him, and she shrugged sadly. She didn't know what to do for him.

"Hey Buddy," Jethro said softly. He knew it would be up to him to fix it. Whatever "it" was.

Tony paused for a moment and glanced up at his daddy. He smiled hollowly and then returned his attention to the paper before him.

"Can I see your drawing?" Jethro noticed that Shannon was approaching too.

"I'm going to let you and Daddy have some time Baby Boy," Shannon said. She dropped a kiss on Tony's head, but the child didn't even blink. It was as though he couldn't feel the affection she had towards him at all.

"Goodnight," Tony said softly.

Shannon looked pleadingly at Jethro, silently begging him to fix their boy, and headed for the door. Once she was gone, Jethro pulled out the other small chair at his table and eased down into it.

"How's it going?" he asked his son softly.

Tony shrugged. He was still and quiet for a moment, and then returned to his drawing.

Jethro glanced down at it and his eyes widened in shock. "Tony? Bud can ya tell me about your picture?"

Tony's hand froze. It hovered over the page for a moment, and Tony's expression became even more shuttered and guarded than it'd been before. Finally he blinked and looked up at his daddy. "It just a drawin'," Tony said softly.

"It's a very good drawing," Jethro commented. "I loved the pictures you would send me while I was gone. You're really a very talented artist."

Tony shrugged. "Sometimes drawin' make me feel not so bad," he said softly.

A thought occurred to Jethro. "Are you feeling bad now Tony?" he asked softly.

Tony's gaze stayed firmly on his drawing. He took several slow and deep breaths and didn't respond. Jethro reached over and put his hand on Tony's wrist and Tony jerked away.

"Are you angry with me Tony?" Jethro asked softly.

Tony was angry. He was angry and he was scared and he wanted nothing more than to crawl up in his Daddy's lap and have him fix it all, but he didn't want to trust it because his daddy had left him and even though it was his job that made him go and even though he said he didn't want to, he still went, and while he was away he still nearly died. Tony trembled slightly under Jethro's touch and the young father gave him a gentle tug. "C'mere Tony," he said softly.

Tony reluctantly slid from his seat and moved over to his daddy. Jethro wrapped him up in the gentlest, warmest, safest hug that he'd felt in months and Tony's breath hitched as he breathed in the scent of his daddy—the smell he'd missed so much—the man he'd come to associate with being safe.

"It's alright now Tony," Jethro whispered, his breath warm on Tony's neck and ear. Tony let out a small strangled sound as the tears began to spill over. "I gotcha buddy. Daddy's here. I'm riiiiiight here…it's ok now shhhhhh…"

Tony's hands fisted the back of Jethro's shirt and he clung tight enough to make his fingers cramp. The sobs came on like a storm—gradually, but building with intensity. Jethro slowly rose to his feet, lifting his child with him and moved over to the bed. He sat down on it and ran his hand up and down Tony's back, the other hand stroking lightly over the back of his hair. Tony cried and cried, clinging tightly to his daddy the whole time.

Jethro sat with Tony and rocked him and hummed in his ear and weathered the storm with his child. Finally Tony drew back a bit and looked around as though wondering how he'd gotten there. His lower lip still quivered a little bit and a couple of stray tears still meandered down his cheeks. His breaths still came in short puffing breaths, small sobs hitching his frame as he tried to regain control over his emotions. Jethro sat quietly with him, letting his presence say more than any stumbled or screwed up words might. Sometimes he felt like he had the right things to say to his boy, and other times, he felt like he did better by just shutting up and not saying a word.

Finally, Jethro decided to speak softly, wondering if he was going to make things better or worse. "Mommy has been telling me about you drawing," he murmured. "I'd love to see your drawings Tony. If you would like to share them."

Tony slowly turned his head to look at Jethro, his eyes searching him over carefully. Then he dropped his gaze. "You's a be mad," he whispered. "A cause I broked a rules."

Jethro's eyebrows furrowed together slightly. "What rules Tony?"

Tony slid out of his daddy's lap and Jethro's eyebrows shot up when he saw Tony drop to his tummy and slide up under the bed. "Tony?" Jethro said. "What are you…"

The words died on his lips when Tony suddenly slid back out from under the bed, the image reminiscent of the first night Jethro and Shannon had Tony in their home. He continued sliding out from under the bed and with him, he pulled a huge stack of pictures.

There were hundreds of them. Some colorful, others black and dark. Some pictures had order and others were unorganized scribbles. Jethro slid to the floor next to Tony and looked at him curiously. "Can I have a look?" Jethro asked.

Tony nodded and slid them over to him. He'd been careful to write his name and the date on each of the pictures.

"Oh Tony," Jethro breathed, looking carefully at each picture. "Oh my goodness…these are wonderful! Tony…what rules were you afraid I'd be angry with you for breaking?"

Tony took the stack of papers from Jethro and flipped quickly through them. They were in order by date, Jethro noticed. He got to the pictures around Christmastime and the pictures took on a distinctly darker and sadder perspective. "I borryed trouble," he said softly. "I didn't mean to…and I didn't know how to give it back…and after I borryed it…well then you got hurted," Tony kept his eyes on his lap. "It's all my fault you got hurted Daddy. You tol' me bad things a happen if I borryed trouble. I didn't mean to though," his lower lip quivered. "And everyone was worried about you…and everyone was scared you's a gonna die…and I didn't say nothin…a cause…" he sniffled and dragged the back of his hand across his face, "a cause it was all my fault," he whispered finally. "I…I's sorry."

Jethro dropped the pictures and pulled Tony back into his lap. "Listen to me," he said firmly. "I want you to listen and I need you to believe what I'm saying ok?" Tony stared at his lap. He didn't answer until Jethro shook his shoulder slightly and Tony nodded. "What happened to me? It wasn't your fault. Hear me Tony?" Tony raised his gaze and opened his mouth to protest, but Jethro cut him off, desperate to make sure he understood. "Not. Your. Fault. Not at all," Jethro said. "I promise. I'm so sorry you've felt like that. You should have told someone. We could have helped you."

"I's…I's scareded that everybody a be mad a me," Tony whimpered. "I thinked they would be mad a cause you got hurted a cause of me." Tears bubbled to the surface again and Tony sniffled.

"It's not your fault son," Jethro said, hugging his boy tightly. "Not your fault. I promise. It's not your fault."

It took a while for Tony to calm down. Eventually though, he slumped against his daddy, relishing in the strength in the embrace, and the small boy let himself drop off to sleep. Jethro sat with him for a while longer, not moving, before slowly picking them both up off the floor, and settling Tony into bed. He ran a hand over his face and picked up the pictures. He turned on the lamp and left the door cracked and headed for his bedroom.

Shannon was in the bed reading, when he got there, so he sat down on the bed and began flipping through and studying each picture carefully. The pictures were dark and scary, sharp lines and blurry ones, dark colors and bright, some of the images were organized and others weren't. It didn't take Jethro long to figure out that Tony was illustrating his nightmares. Nightmares of Jethro dying. Of him getting blown up like Charlie's Daddy had. There were images of graveyards with gravestones bearing Jethro's name on them, and there were pictures of the family. Tony illustrated Shannon and Kelly standing together in front of a grave that said Daddy on it. Off to the side, away from the family—obviously feeling isolated—was Tony. It was easy to tell who was who because Tony's artistic skill in creating their faces and bodies was really intricately amazing. Jethro felt so bad for his son, and he wiped several tears from his eyes, not even realizing he was being watched.

Reaching over, Shannon took the pictures from Jethro's hands. They could deal with them tomorrow. "Hello Gunny," she said with a smile. Jethro turned and looked at her. They could look at the pictures tomorrow and decide what to do about them. Shannon kissed him and pulled him close. "I missed you so much," she whispered, her hot breath teasing along his skin.

Jethro kissed her back, equally passionately, clinging onto her, his rock. "I missed you too," he said. He laid her head on her chest and listened to hear heartbeat, enjoying the feel of her milky white smooth skin and the light smell of her perfume. "God I missed you."

She ran her fingers through his hair, happy that he was alive, happy that he was home, and happy that he was going to be able to sleep in his own bed in his own house tonight. "I'm so worried about Tony," Jethro said. "He's so different."

"He'll be alright," Shannon said. "We've got you home now. We're all gonna be alright. It scared us when we heard you were hurt. But we're all together now, and we will work together just like we always do."

Jethro raised his gaze and Shannon smiled at him. "Welcome home Marine," she said softly. Jethro leaned in and kissed her passionately. Without breaking the embrace or the kiss, Shannon reached over and clicked off the lamp.

TBC…


	11. Schooling the Teacher

**Warning:** Angst and stuff ahead. I don't think you'll need tissues, but this is me, so you never know.

_Thanks to my beta Gotgoats for all your help with this chapter._

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 11: Schooling The Teacher****  
**

Jethro sat straight up in bed, blinking in the darkness and breathing hard, trying to stay as quiet as possible. He reached out and pulled his handgun out of the bedside table drawer.

"Jethro?" Shannon asked softly. She didn't touch him because she wasn't sure if he was awake or not.

"Heard something," Jethro mumbled. He ran a hand over his face and then frowned when he heard the sound again. The dog was barking.

"Oh Sasha," Shannon said softly. "What are you after this time?" She started to get out of bed but Jethro grabbed her arm gently, halting her movements.

"Stay here," he said. "I'll check it out."

Shannon watched in awe as her husband slid from the bed and then the room without making a sound. She prayed for mercy on the soul that had triggered the noise that woke her husband…and she hoped it was just him coming down off the deployment that had left him on such high alert and not something wrong.

xxx

Jethro moved slowly through the house, clearing the hallway and each of the rooms heading to the stairs. He noticed that Tony's bedroom door was open and quickly cleared the room, and realized that Tony wasn't in there. He narrowed his eyes and moved down the stairs. He could hear Sasha whining, but he hadn't figured out what the problem was yet. He moved through the downstairs, his eyes scanning and searching, clearing the living room, bathroom, and dining room. He noticed the kitchen light was on. He knew they hadn't left it on.

Jethro stepped into the kitchen, gun raised, eyes scanning and searching for the threat. His eyes widened when the child didn't react. Tony merely stared down the gun that his daddy was holding.

"TONY?!" Jethro puffed out, surprised. He quickly shoved the gun into the back of his pants. "What are you doing? You scared me!"

Tony was sitting on his knees in front of his snack drawer, backpack opened, a surprised look on his face. He still hadn't spoken. Gibbs didn't know if it was fear or shame that had rendered his son speechless.

Shannon bounded into the room behind Jethro. "Jethro what's—Tony? Why are you out of bed? What are you doing?"

Tony dropped his eyes to his lap and shrugged. He'd screwed up again.

"Words Tony," Shannon said, and Jethro and Tony could both tell by the tone in her voice that she was angry.

Jethro turned to his beautiful wife and smiled. "I'll tuck him back in honey," he said sweetly. "Why don't you head back up to bed?"

Shannon looked at Jethro for a long moment, fire in her gaze, daring him to step in, but…she realized he was right. Jethro should handle this one. She nodded. "Fine," she relented. She looked at Tony. "Goodnight," she said softly.

Tony stared at her but didn't answer. Once she was gone, he dropped his gaze back down to the backpack.

Jethro took a deep breath and wondered what the hell to say to fix this. He'd assured Shannon he could do it, but…now he was at a loss. But he was pretty sure that being angry at Tony wasn't going to fix anything. He at least wanted to have information before he got angry.

He forced a gentle smile to his face, not caring that it was nearly 3am. "You look like you're going to take a trip," he said gently.

Tony's eyes flickered up to him, but quickly dropped. He nodded once and remained silent.

"Wanna tell me where you're going?"

The flickered gaze again, and then Tony shook his head. Nope.

Jethro smiled sadly and dropped to his knees. "Well can I at least help you pack?" he walked on his knees closer to Tony. Once he got right up to him he reached out a hand and tapped Tony gently under the chin with two fingers. "Hey," he said. "Can I see your bag?"

Tony drew it closer to himself and his gaze flickered again. It reminded Jethro quite a bit of a frightened animal…of a desperate person…of someone who would run given the first opportunity.

"Do you remember when I was getting ready to go on my trip you helped me pack?" Jethro asked.

Tony nodded, his eyes still on his bag.

"Well I think it's only fair that since I let you help me pack, I should help you pack," Jethro said reasonably. "Maybe I can reach stuff that's up high, yeah?"

Tony's gaze flickered up to him and this time he didn't look away. He wasn't sure what his daddy was up to, but Tony thought having some help with his bag might be good. He slowly pushed his bag towards his Daddy who was now sitting across from him.

Jethro gently and slowly reached out and hooked his fingers on the handle of the backpack. He thought he recognized it as the same one that Tony had picked out to go to school with. He slowly slid it across the floor so he could see inside of it. What he saw made him feel sick. Tony had carefully rolled up his clothes (like Jethro did for his sea bag) and Jethro quickly counted two shirts and one pair of shorts and one pair of pants. There were underoos in the bag, socks, and his sandals. Tony had been digging through his snack drawer and had put in cans of fruit, granola bars, crackers, all the foods he could reach on his own into the bag. There was a chair up against the shelf in the pantry where Shannon kept the Spagettios and Jethro saw a can of them in his bag as well. Tony wasn't a huge fan of them, but he would eat them in a pinch. He knew Kelly didn't like them. They were one of Shannon's guilty pleasures though.

"I tried a think a things that would be ok if I taked with me," Tony said softly. "I tried a only pick out my snacks and my fruits so that Kelly would still have hers…an' I made sure I picked out clothes for warm days and clothes for cold days too. I did not mean to steal stuff, but I a member when my mean-daddy made me go away I did not have no food or clothes or moneys…I did not have anything…"

"I think you did a wonderful job Tony," Jethro praised softly. "You thought of everything except for one thing."

Tony looked at him suspiciously. "What I forgotted?"

"Well where am I going to go? I don't think I'll fit into your bag with all of this stuff you've packed." Jethro unzipped another compartment and found Tony's sketchbook and colored pencils and crayons. "Nope, won't fit in there either." He looked at his little boy, puzzled. "You were planning to take me too, weren't you?" He ran his lip out a bit for effect.

Tony looked at him, confused. "I…Why…how's a come you wanna comes with me? I's leavin a cause I did bad…"

And there it was. Jethro let out a long breath as the pieces fell into place. He made a mental note to talk to Shannon and get the doctor involved tomorrow morning as early as possible.

"Tony…I have a question for you," Jethro said softly. He moved so he was sitting with his back against the cabinet and motioned for Tony to join him in his lap. The child's movements were slow and cautious, but before long Tony was settled against his daddy's chest. "What do you think you did that was so bad?" he asked gently. He ran his hand lightly up and down Tony's little arm, and kissed him on top of his head, smelling his hair. Christ almighty he'd missed this little boy. He'd missed Shannon and Kelly too, but this…this was different somehow…

"I don't want to tell you," Tony whispered. "You's a get mad."

"I won't get angry Tony," Jethro promised. "But if you decide to leave I'm going to be very sad. I'll be very lonesome without you."

"What's lonesome?"

"It's that sad feeling you get when you're by yourself and you're wishing you had someone with you."

"Like I was while you was gone?" Tony's question broke his heart.

"Were you lonely while I was away Tony?" Jethro asked softly.

Tony's gaze dropped again. "Yeah," he whispered. "Mommy and Kelly and Grandma and Grampa tried a help, but…" he shrugged his little shoulders. "I could not make it go away. I tried."

"Sometimes it's hard to make it go away," Jethro agreed. "Has it gone away now?"

Tony was still for a few long moments before he shook his head. "No," he whispered.

"Well we'll work on that. How's that sound?" Jethro asked.

Tony nodded.

"You know I was lonesome while I was gone too. I missed you so much! What was it you were going to tell me that you were afraid I'd get angry at?"

"I was bad," Tony whispered. "I got into trouble at school."

Jethro frowned slightly, but quickly schooled his features before Tony saw it. "What'd you get into trouble for doing?"

Tony yawned. "I got into trouble a cause I wouldn't answer my teacher. She don't like me sometimes."

"Why do you think she doesn't like you Tony?" Jethro knew from Shannon's letters that it had been a bit of a struggle at first with Tony's teacher, but Shannon seemed to think the problem had resolved.

Tony shrugged and Jethro nudged him. "Answer me son," he ordered gently.

Tony sighed and it sounded suspiciously like he might cry. "A cause sometimes she says things to me. Things that make me feel sad."

Rage started brewing in Jethro's gut. He let it. "Things like what?"

"I gotted inna fight one day," Tony said softly and he cringed, his ears turning red. "And she told me that my…" he sighed and Jethro felt the moisture from a tear soaking into his shirt. "My daddy wouldn't wanna come home if I was getting into trouble alla times…an' she told me that I needa not talk like a baby…I needa talk like a big boy…she say…say my daddy is a marine and he don't want no babies in his house…"

Jethro wrapped his arms around his child, who was now quivering, but with fear or sadness, Jethro wasn't sure. He'd protect his son though, if he had to rip that school down brick by brick to get to that goddamn bitch who'd…

"Tony…is that why you think you should leave home?" he asked, his voice much softer than he thought he'd be able to pull off.

Tony sniffled pitifully and nodded. "My mean-daddy was right," he whimpered. "I's stupid and a screw up and I always maked a mess a things…I's bad," his voice was so small, Jethro had to struggle to hear it.

"Now Tony," Jethro reassured him. "You and I have talked about this. You are not bad remember? I think you're awesome, remember? And I think tomorrow I'll go talk to your teacher, and let her know that even if you do sometimes get into trouble at school I will ALWAYS want to come home to you if I am away. Because I love you and I am lonesome without you. Understand? I will always come for you. Always."

Jethro hugged his boy tightly and sighed when he felt the tears start to fall, his little body quaking under the harsh sobs. "Got you kiddo," he whispered. "I got you. I will never leave you behind ok? Marine rules."

Jethro held onto Tony until the storm of tears passed. He helped Tony stand up and raised up on his knees, his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Now," he said, glancing at the clock to see that it was now almost 4am. "Do you want to leave this bag packed? Would that make you feel better?"

Tony stared at the bag for a long moment and then nodded.

"Well let me make a deal with you," Jethro said. "Can we make an agreement?"

Tony nodded.

"If you decide you want to use this bag, you have to come tell me first. And you have to make room in the bag for me to go too. Deal?"

"How am I apposed a make you fit inna backpack?" Tony's eyes rounded a bit.

"Well you're a clever boy. I'm sure you'll figure something out," Jethro grinned. "But don't forget you have to talk to me about it first ok?"

Tony yawned again and Jethro brushed his fingers through Tony's hair as the child nodded his agreement. "Are you ready to go back to bed? Since you're going to stay the night here and all," Jethro winked at Tony.

Tony leaned forward and thunked his head on his daddy's (thankfully) uninjured shoulder. "I's tired," he whispered. "I do not sleep good," Tony said to his daddy.

"I know you haven't been," Jethro said as he pushed himself up to his feet, using the counter as a support and lifting Tony with him. Christ that knee hurt. He was staring down the barrel at knee surgery. He just knew it. Dammit. He pushed through the pain and stood up. He snagged Tony's backpack and brought it along.

"Daddy?" Tony sounded like he was almost asleep.

"Yeah Tony?" Jethro puffed out as he hauled them up the steps.

"I sorry I's a bother," he said quietly, sleepily.

"Ah Tony you aren't a bother," Jethro said. "Not at all. I'm just glad I heard you."

"I's trying a be quiet," Tony said. "Sasha started barking though."

"I'm glad she did," Jethro said. "She did exactly what she was supposed to do. I'd have been sad if I woke up in the morning and you'd left without saying goodbye."

"I did not think you would have let me leave," Tony said.

"I wouldn't have," Gibbs said and Tony giggled against his neck. He got to the top of the stairs and started towards his bedroom. He pushed open the door, only to find that Shannon was already asleep again. Miffed by this—by the fact that she'd just gone on back to sleep and hadn't tried to check on Tony further (though he appreciated that she trusted him) he sighed and pulled the door closed again and headed for Tony's room. He didn't need more drama tonight. He was exhausted. He just wanted to sleep, and make sure his kid didn't try to abandon ship again.

He carefully tucked his son, now almost asleep, into bed and then climbed in with him. "This ok?" he asked softly.

"Mmmhmmm," Tony murmured. He was nearly asleep.

Jethro kissed Tony's temple. "Get some sleep Buddy," he whispered. "Daddy's right here."

xxx

About two hours later, Jethro opened his eyes. He heard the shower running and sat up. Tony was still sound asleep beside him and Jethro did everything he could not to wake him up. He slipped out of the bedroom and headed down the stairs to the kitchen. He started a pot of coffee and walked outside for the morning paper. As he picked it up and glanced up and down the street, he felt a moment of shock. This was all…it was all so…_normal_…but after being gone for so many months it was difficult to believe it was all real.

When he stepped back inside the house, he frowned. Why didn't he smell his coffee brewing? He walked into the kitchen and blinked in surprise.

Shannon was in the kitchen, dressed in her nurse's scrubs, hair pulled up and shoes not on yet. And the coffee pot was…off?

"Morning Babe," he said sweetly, walking over and flipping the pot back on. He was sure he'd turned it on.

"Morning," Shannon responded, but it lacked her usual bubbly-ness.

She hadn't slept well. She'd slept great up until the moment when Jethro sat up in bed. After she'd followed him down the stairs—and really, where did Tony think he was going in the middle of the night?—she'd headed back upstairs, like Jethro had asked her to, and she'd gone back to bed. She had not, however, gone right to sleep. She'd laid there for a long time, listening to the murmuring voices coming from down the stairs—unable to hear the words, but able to make out two voices. Tony was talking. And while that was wonderful and should make her very happy, instead it made her feel like shit. He wouldn't talk to her. She'd done the very best she could the entire time Jethro had been away, and it was still not good enough. She hadn't been asleep when Jethro had opened the door. She'd heard his soft grunt, followed by the sound of the door closing again. She'd let the angry tears fall then. Why hadn't she been good enough? Why didn't her children—EITHER OF THEM—ever prefer Mommy's company? It broke her heart a little to know that as hard as she tried, she would always be second best.

Jethro pressed a kiss to her temple. "You look beautiful this morning," he whispered in her ear.

She snorted and shook her head. "Doubt that," she sniped, walking away. "I haven't slept." She picked up her shoes and started putting them on.

Jethro frowned. Shannon was in a mood this morning…that surprised him a little, but he figured she was just tired. "Sorry," he said softly. "My fault?"

"Well I wasn't the one going all Street Fighter and crashing through the house with the gun at three in the morning," Shannon snapped.

"Hey c'mon," Jethro said. "I didn't mean to wake you up—you know that! What's going on?"

Shannon just snorted again and shook her head, disgusted. "I have to go to work," she said, her voice flat.

"It's six in the morning!" Jethro exclaimed. "What about the kids?"

Shannon looked at him. "You're Daddy of the Year," she snarked. "Figure it out. School starts at eight." She picked up her keys and walked out the door, leaving Jethro scratching his head and wondering what the hell had just happened.

xxx

7:45am had Jethro showing up at the school with Tony and Kelly in tow. Backpacks were loaded (this time not with clothes and granola bars), lunches were packed, Kelly's hair was in mostly-straight braids, and Tony was clinging desperately to his daddy's hand. Breakfast had been prepared and served, teeth had been brushed, reassurances that daddy would be home after school had been promised, and Jethro was ready for a nap.

But there was no time for a nap. Before he could rest he had to have a conversation. Or two. Jethro walked with Kelly and Tony to Kelly's classroom. Kelly's teacher was happy to see him and welcomed him home.

"Looks like you volunteered to take the kids to school this morning and give Mom a morning off!" the teacher exclaimed.

Jethro smiled faintly, but he felt slightly sick when he thought back to his conversation with his wife that morning. "Something like that," he said softly. He kissed Kelly goodbye and took Tony and headed for the door.

"Is we goin' a my room next?" Tony asked softly, clinging to his daddy a little bit tighter.

Jethro moved to the side of the hall and knelt down. "Well Tony I was going to ask you what you wanted. I'm kind of worried about what your teacher said to you about me," he said. "So I'm wondering if you want me to talk to your teacher first or if you want me to talk to the principal first."

"I do not think we should talk to a teacher," Tony said softly. "I think itta just maked her mad."

"Ok then Tony, but before we go to the principal…did the teacher talk to you by yourself or did she talk to anybody else in your class too? Because if she said it just to you I might handle this differently than if she told the whole class."

"No she telled me and Scott that in fronta everybody," Tony said quietly.

"Scott? Is Jeremiah his daddy?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded.

Jethro sighed. He and Jeremiah had become good buddies over in Kuwait. Jeremiah was the Marine Jethro had been talking to just before he was involved in the explosion. "Ok," he said softly. "Let's go to the principal's office."

"Am I going to get into trouble?" Tony asked. "Did I do bad?"

"No Tony," Jethro said softly. He scooped Tony up and hugged him. He was a bit surprised when Tony didn't want to be put down right away. Kelly always hated to be loved on at school. They headed for the Principal's Office together, and Jethro was happy to see Jeremiah coming in the door.

"Hey! Jeremiah!" Jethro called. Tony snuggled in a bit tighter. "Got a minute?"

"Yeah Gunny what's up?"

Jethro quickly explained what had happened while they were gone. He told his friend what had been said, and Jeremiah's face darkened. He glanced down at his son. "Is that true Scott?" he asked.

Tony's friend Scott nodded. "We weren't even being really bad Daddy—I know you teached me not to fight, but…but they hurted us first! They always tryin' to hurt me and Tony!"

Jethro looked from Scott to Jeremiah, a pained look on his face. "We need to make this right," he said softly, his voice like iron.

xxx

Mr. Martins was the principal at Tony and Scott's school. The two young father's entered the main office where they were greeted warmly by Miss Franklin, the secretary.

"Is there something I can help you gentlemen with this morning?" she asked sweetly.

"We'd like to have a word with Mr. Martins," Jethro said.

"May I ask what it is regarding?"

"A problem in a classroom that we'd like to report, ma'am," Jeremiah said, jumping in with Jethro.

Miss Franklin, looked concerned. "I'll let him know," she said quietly. "Be right back."

A moment later, the principal, Mr. Mark Martins himself came out of his office. "Gentlemen!" he greeted them warmly. "Good morning! Let's step into my office, shall we?"

Jethro and Jeremiah followed Mr. Martins into the nicely furnished office—comfortable for both children and adults. Mr. Martins closed the door and then guided the parents to a round table with chairs around it. He stopped by Tony and Scott and held out his hands, each of the boys giving him five. "Good morning Scott! Tony! How are you boys?"

"Good Sir," Scott replied politely. Tony merely shrugged and shrank back into his daddy's lap a little more.

Mr. Martins sat down in his own seat. Jethro liked this guy already. He was keeping things on an even playing field, not positioning himself behind a desk or in a position of power. By sitting at the table with them, he was showing that he thought of himself as an equal to the parents. Jethro liked that.

"Now," Mr. Martins laid a legal pad and a pen on the table. "I might want to take some notes as we discuss, if that is alright with you."

"That's fine," Jethro said and Jeremiah nodded.

They went through and explained to the principal what Tony and Scott's teacher had said to them about their daddies not wanting to come home while they were away on deployment. Scott interjected some details, but Tony remained steadfastly quiet. Once the principal had documented the entire ordeal, Mr. Martins looked at Tony. "Anything you want to add, Son?" he asked gently.

Tony shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I's scareded…"

Mr. Martins frowned. "Why are you feeling afraid Tony? Can I help?"

Tony was quiet for a long time. Jethro wondered if Tony was going to clam up and stop talking again. He nudged him gently. "You can tell him Tony," he said gently.

"I's scarded she gonna make my Jethro go away again. Please don't make my daddy go!"

Mr. Martins frowned sadly. "Listen to me, Tony. Here at school, we don't have any control over whether your daddy gets to stay home or deploy. It's not our decision. If it was up to me, all of the mommies and daddies would get to stay at home. Anything you tell me here is safe. Nothing you say will make your daddy leave."

"Well…it's just…it's just that…when Mrs. Adecot told us that stuff…well the next day was when we got a visit from a marines…they told my mommy that my daddy was hurt and he might die…and that was the same day that the other kids…" Tony trailed off, lost in his memory.

"The other kids what Tony?" Jethro asked softly.

"The other kids was beating me and Scott up and callin' us big babies…and Mrs. Adecot telled me I gotta quit talkin' like a baby…she said I'm eight years old now and that means I should be not talkin' like a baby no more," he murmured softly. "I's try a be a big boy an' help like my daddy telled me to…it's hard though," his bottom lip quivered pitifully.

"Oh Tony," Mr. Martins said, his voice was full of sympathy. "I'm so sorry that happened. That must have been very frightening and confusing for you."

Tony nodded slowly.

"I'd like for us to have a conversation with Mrs. Adecot," Mr. Martins said. "Would you excuse me so I can go and fetch her?" Jethro and Jeremiah nodded. The principal stood up. "I'll just be back in a moment." He left the fathers sitting in his office, hugging their sons.

xxx

Mrs. Adecot was going over the morning work assignment when she looked up and saw Mr. Martins standing in her classroom next to the door. "Class look! There's Mr. Martins! Say good morning to our principal!"

"GOOD MORNING MISTER MARTINS!" came the chorused response from all the little first graders in Tony and Scott's class.

"Mrs. Adecot when you get to a stopping place I need to borrow you for a moment. I'm sure your assistant can handle things for a few minutes," he instructed.

The teacher looked confused, but nodded. She got the class settled and then joined Mr. Martins in the hallway. "What's up?" she asked.

"Come with me please," he said, leading the way back to his office.

Mrs. Adecot felt nervous as they headed for the principal's office. She felt more nervous when she saw the two Marine Daddies sitting in the office waiting for her.

"Please," Mr. Martins said, indicating a fourth chair at the table. "Have a seat."

"Shouldn't we do this after school? I'm meant to be teaching right no—"

"You're meant to be in here with us right now having this meeting, _right now_," Mr. Martins said, his tone of voice suddenly changing.

Tony flinched at the man's suddenly sharp words and buried his face against Jethro's shirt.

"Alright," Mrs. Adecot conceded.

"Mrs. Adecot, Mr. Gibbs and Mr. Edwards are here because they are concerned about something their children are telling them happened while they were away on deployment."

"Mr. Martins, Mr. Gibbs and Mr. Edwards were both deployed for nearly nine months—surely you can't expect me to recall every single thing that happened during that time?" the woman spluttered.

"Of course not," Mr. Martins said, but Tony thought he still sounded strange—like he didn't really believe Mrs. Adecot.

"Can you tell me what this is about?" Mrs. Adecot asked softly.

"This is about you treating our kids like crap!" Jeremiah finally exploded.

Tony didn't like the loud voices, and sank deeper and deeper into Jethro's embrace.

Mr. Martins patiently explained the report that the two fathers had made. By the time he was finished, Mrs. Adecot's face was a deep shade of red. She looked positively ashamed of herself.

"Mrs. Adecot this is really unacceptable behavior," Mr. Martins said. He spoke firmly to the teacher. "I hope you understand, that we value you as a teacher here, but this is not the first time this year you have come under my radar—especially as far as little Tony Gibbs is concerned. I understand the message you were trying to convey to your students—fighting is not acceptable behavior—but you used their deepest fears against them—fears that their fathers wouldn't return from their deployments. That is completely unacceptable."

Mrs. Adecot took a deep breath and nodded. She turned to the parents sitting before her, and her students. "I am sorry boys, if I caused you to feel afraid about your daddies being gone. That was wrong for me to do that. Please forgive me," she said.

Tony and Scott looked at her, and Scott finally nodded, but Tony didn't respond. He didn't like Mrs. Adecot anymore. He didn't want to have to stay with her.

Mrs. Adecot also apologized to the parents for upsetting their children. After that, Mr. Martins warned her that next time she would be in more trouble, and she should think before she speaks in such a manner.

"I have something I'd like to say," Jethro said quietly. Tony was still refusing to look up or interact. "I would just like to clarify any confusion on your part about me wanting to come home to my family," Jethro told Mrs. Adecot, his voice steely.

Mrs. Adecot nodded.

"Let me make it very clear for you. It does not matter what my child does. I don't care if he fights, if he stutters, if he shoves mashed potatoes up his nose—" Scott giggled, "—or if he commits a murder. He's my son and I will stand beside him ALWAYS. I would NEVER not come back for him if I have the choice, and I would never LEAVE him if I have the choice. Tony's behavior has NO EFFECT at all whatsoever on whether or not I love him, or whether or not I support him. I am VERY unhappy that you led him to believe otherwise. Do you know that at three o'clock this morning his dog barked at him while he was trying to leave—LEAVE HIS HOME—and RUN AWAY because he thought—based on what you had said—that I would be angry with him because he got into a fight at school? Do you know he wanted to leave the FIRST SAFE PLACE HE HAS EVER KNOWN because of something YOU said to him? He thought he couldn't trust HIS PARENTS to love him and protect him because he'd made a mistake. Did you know those things?"

The teacher paled and shook her head slightly. "No," she whispered. "I didn't know…I didn't think th—"

"You know about Tony," Jethro said icily. "All of you know about him, hell it seems like the whole freakin town knows about him. And knowing about him you oughta know that you can't say shit like that to my kid. He believes it. What you did was UNACCEPTABLE and I will not stand for it. Not in my house, not in my kid's classroom, not in our lives. UNACCEPTABLE."

Tony kept his face buried in his daddy's chest throughout the entire tirade. He didn't move or flinch. He knew he was safe with Jethro, and that Jethro wasn't angry with him.

"I understand, Mr. Gibbs," Mrs. Adecot said, her voice shaking slightly.

"I have a question," Jethro said coldly.

"Yes?" Mrs. Adecot asked softly.

"What happened to the kids who were in the fight with Tony and Scott?"

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Adecot asked.

"I mean what did you do to them?"

"I…" she looked pained. "I didn't punish them," she whispered.

"WHAT?!" That came from Mr. Martins. "Mrs. Adecot why didn't you punish the other children?"

"I…" she sighed. "Because they told me they didn't start the fight. They told me that Tony and Scott started the fight."

"Did my wife not have a conversation with you at the beginning of the year and again in the fall about how the classroom bullies were treating my son?" Jethro asked coldly.

"Yes she did," Mrs. Adecot whispered, her gaze on her lap.

"And what did you do about the things she reported?"

"I watched for signs…but mostly I just saw children being children."

"So _you_ think it's _normal_ for children to bully each other and make fun of them because they talk different or walk slower or are smaller than the other kids?"

"I don't think it's good," she said, "But I do think it's normal."

"And as the teacher," Mr. Martins jumped in, "Do you not think it's your responsibility to teach them to treat people who are different in a better way than they 'normally' would?"

"I…I don't know," Mrs. Adecot said. "We spend so much of our time and energy focusing on the academics and on the testing that we—"

"You know it's been proven in multiple studies that kids who don't feel safe or who are bullied score lower on tests than kids who aren't? You're so focused on the information but you're missing a big piece of the puzzle here, lady," Jeremiah stated firmly. He was as angry as Jethro was. He couldn't believe this shit!

"Mrs. Adecot it is your job as the instructor in the class to make sure that all of the children's developmental needs are being met—not just their academic needs! You are to make sure their social-emotional and safety needs are met first. You should have learned in college—Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I believe it is—that until the basic physiological, safety needs, and needs for love and belonging are met, children cannot learn. If the child is preoccupied about whether his daddy will survive his deployment, or whether he and his friend will get beat up on the playground, then how can you possibly expect him to care if two plus two equals four?" Mr. Martins was growing increasingly incensed with this teacher.

Mrs. Adecot lowered her gaze.

"You seem to have lost your focus, Mrs. Adecot," Mr. Martins said. "It is important to teach the children their academic lessons, yes, but it is not MORE important than making sure they feel safe and secure at school. I will not tolerate children not feeling safe in my school," he snapped. "And especially with children like Tony and Scott whose lives are in a state of ebb and flow when it comes to feeling safe and cared for—not because people mistreat them but because their parents' jobs require them to be gone for long periods of time. And with Tony, we all know that he has experienced some pretty scary stuff in his life—things that you or I may not understand. We are his educators. We are his family at school. We will NOT treat Tony as he has been treated. We will not treat Scott as he has been treated. Are we clear?"

"We're clear sir," Mrs. Adecot said softly, nodding her head.

"I am going to put a written warning in your file, documenting this conversation and the information shared in it," Mr. Martins said. "I was not initially going to, but in light of the new information that is coming out—information making me think that your actions potentially put a child at risk for serious harm or damage—I am left with no other alternative." Mr. Martins raised his glare to Mrs. Adecot, whose face was now a brilliant shade of crimson.

Mrs. Adecot nodded and looked at Jethro, Jeremiah, Scott and the back of Tony's head. "I am truly sorry for what I have done," she said. "I didn't mean to hurt or upset anyone. I am sorry."

Mr. Martins stood up and held out his hand. "Gentlemen," he said, "Mr. Gibbs, Mr. Edwards, thank you for coming by and letting me know what happened."

"If it's alright with you sir," Jethro asked, purposefully ignoring the teacher, "I'd like to take Tony home. As I said, we were up most of the night trying to convince him not to run away. I don't think he's up to sitting in class all day."

"No, I would imagine he's not," Mr. Martins said, shooting a steely glare at Mrs. Adecot. "Take him home and let him get some rest this weekend. We'll see you on Monday."

"Thank you sir. Thank you for your time," Jethro said.

"Thank you Mr. Martins," Jeremiah said. "C'mon Scott, let's head to class."

"Awww Daddy I wanna stay with you," Scott said. "I just gotted you back home yesterday!"

Mr. Martins smiled. "Scott can go with you if you'd like," he said. "These boys have obviously missed their daddies tremendously. Go, enjoy your weekend."

"Thank you sir," Jethro and Jeremiah both said. They left Mr. Martins to deal with Mrs. Adecot, both of them confident that they wouldn't have any more problems with her.

xxx

Jethro pulled his car back into the driveway and glanced in the rearview mirror. Tony was sitting in the backseat, no booster seat now, and was sound asleep with his head against the seatbelt. Jethro smiled sadly and quietly got out of the car and walked around to Tony's door. He opened the door and Tony blinked awake, confusion settling on his features, before looking sleepily up at his daddy and closing his eyes.

"C'mon Bud," Jethro said. He unfastened Tony's seatbelt and hauled him out of the car. They went inside together and Gibbs headed for the couch. Their couch was a hand-made futon that Jethro and his dad had constructed two summers before when Tony'd needed to have his leg operated on. The couch easily folded out into a bed. Jethro made quick work of pulling the bed out one-handed, before settling down on it. Jethro tucked one of the throw pillows under his head and rolled onto his good shoulder with Tony. Tony slept soundly with his face pressed into Jethro's bicep. Jethro cuddled his boy close, trying to make sure he felt as safe as possible, and before long he'd dozed off too.

A couple of hours later, Jethro sat up suddenly when the phone near his head rang. He reached for it, hissing softly when he stretched his still sore shoulder. "Hello," he answered.

"Jethro! It's so good to hear your voice!" Myra Tyler exclaimed.

"How are ya?" Jethro forced his brain to catch up. He'd been sleeping deeply.

"We're great thanks. Happy to have Adam home." Adam was Maddie's dad. He'd gotten home the week before Jethro. "I was calling to see if it would be alright with you all if I picked Kelly up from school today. The girls have wanted to go to the mall for some time now and I thought this might be a good opportunity for them to go together. Unless of course, you all have plans."

"I don't think we have any plans," Jethro said. "Certainly ask her if she wants to. Swing by here on your way and I'll give you some money."

"Great, thanks. Do you want me to pick up Tony?"

"Nah he's here with me. Had a rough night. We're taking it easy today."

"I'm sure he's very glad you're back. I know he missed you."

"I missed him too," Jethro said softly. They chatted a couple minutes more, finalizing plans, and then hung up.

xxx

Shannon arrived home around five o'clock and sniffed. Dinner was cooking. Well it was good to know that Jethro hadn't just sat around on his butt all day. She stopped herself. That wasn't fair. Jethro had always tried to help out around the house as much as he was able. And he'd come home from Kuwait still injured after he'd almost died. She didn't understand why she felt so angry towards him; she knew he was only trying to help.

She tossed her keys on the table and kicked off her shoes. Entering the kitchen she stopped. Tony was sitting at the bar, coloring a picture he'd drawn, and Jethro was at the counter facing him, chopping vegetables to add to whatever it was he was making. Kelly was nowhere to be seen. For some reason the happy scene in front of her just irritated her.

"Hi Babe!" Jethro said with a huge smile. He set the knife down and walked over to Shannon, arms outstretched.

She walked passed him. "Where's Kelly?" she asked.

"She went to the mall with Maddie and Myra. Myra called earlier and said they'd have her back in time for bed."

"And you didn't think to ask me if I thought that was ok first?" Shannon snapped.

Tony's eyes rounded. He'd never heard Mommy talk to Daddy that way before.

Jethro blinked. "Well in the past we've always just made decisions on our own and haven't asked permission first," he said evenly.

Shannon stared at him, her eyes hard, for a long moment before she dropped her gaze. "Whatever," she said. "Tony how was school today?"

Tony looked at his mommy and daddy. They didn't sound happy. Tony didn't know how to answer. "I did not go to school," he finally said softly.

"WHAT?!" Shannon screeched and Tony flinched. "Why didn't you go to school?! You're not sick!"

"I…" Tears filled Tony's eyes and he slid off the bench. His ankle rolled when he dropped down and he landed on his knees with a quiet whimper.

Jethro moved to help him up, but Tony shrugged him off and ran out of the room, limping badly. Jethro glared at Shannon. "What the hell is your problem?" he snapped. Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked out of the room.

He found Tony on the stairs, holding his ankle, his head buried in one elbow, crying softly. "Hey Bud," Jethro said softly. "You ok?"

"I did not mean to make Mommy mad," Tony whispered. "You told me a stay home today Daddy. I did not mean to make Mommy mad."

Jethro scooped Tony up and Tony hissed when his ankle hurt. "Don't worry about Mommy, I'll talk to her," he said.

Shannon had moved to the doorway and was watching the exchange with a slightly guilty look on her face. Before she could speak though, Jethro had disappeared up the steps with Tony. A moment later she flinched when the bedroom door slammed shut.

TBC…


	12. Tension

**Warning:** There is some OOC behavior…or is there? *evil grin* Shannon is realizing a lot of things—not all of them are good or happy. Angst, some naughty language, tempers flaring, maybe some tears, and you'll probably come after me with sporks at the end of this. *sigh*

_Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats, for all your help with this chapter. _

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 12: Tension****  
**

Jethro set Tony on the bed. "Let's take a look at your ankle," he said softly. He knew Tony hadn't broken a bone or anything like that, but he'd dropped a couple of feet off the bench that sat at the bar and his little ankle had just crumpled beneath him.

"It hurts," Tony said softly. "I hurted it when I jumped down."

"Yeah…yeah I saw," Jethro said softly. "Can I turn it like this?" he gently maneuvered Tony's ankle. The little boy hissed but the ankle did not resist the movement. Jethro touched it gently and then smiled. "I think you just twisted it," he said gently. "I'm gonna go get you a bag of peas to put on your ankle. We'll read a story while you rest it ok?"

Tony looked up at him and then offered a slow, cheeky smile. He was missing a couple more teeth—towards the side of his smile now… "I prefer corn," he said and giggled.

Jethro smiled and tweaked Tony's nose. "Ok funny man. I'll bring you a bag of corn then," he said. "Back in a flash! Don't try to walk on that foot."

"Ok Daddy," Tony said.

Jethro headed back down the stairs and took a deep breath before he entered the kitchen. Shannon was standing in front of the freezer with the door open as he approached. "I need to get a bag of—"

"Corn," Shannon said with a smile, handing him a bag of the frozen yellow vegetable.

"Yeah," Jethro said softly. He took the bag from Shannon and turned around, starting out of the kitchen.

Shannon grabbed his arm without thinking and he whipped around, one fist drawn back. She blinked in surprise and lifted one hand to cover her mouth. Jethro dropped his fist and puffed out a long breath. "Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't…I wouldn't ever hit you," he muttered.

"I shouldn't have grabbed you," Shannon said softly. "I know better. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"What did you want?" Jethro asked.

"I wanted to apologize to you," she said. She ran her hands down the outside of his arms and looked up at him. "I shouldn't have snapped at you—not this morning and not this afternoon. You're doing an amazing job—you're a wonderful father. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Maybe you should apologize to Tony too," Jethro said. "You jumped to all the wrong conclusions about him earlier."

"Did I?" Shannon's voice took on an edge.

Jethro nodded. "You did," he said. "He didn't ask to stay out of school today. I decided to keep him home."

"And why did you decide to keep him home but not Kelly? Don't think that was too fair," she said, haughtiness in her tone.

"Kelly wasn't awake all night," Jethro snapped. "Kelly wasn't awake and trying to run away because her teacher made her think I wouldn't want to deal with her if she made a mistake!" Jethro's voice rose as he spoke.

"Jethro what on Earth are you talking about?"

"I had a meeting this morning with Mr. Martins at the school."

"The principal? Why? What has Tony done now?"

"Because of what Tony told me happened at school the day he got into a fight. He hasn't done anything!"

"And what did Tony tell you happened? I wonder if he gave you the same story that his teacher gave me?"

"Did you even ask Tony for his side of the story?" Jethro countered, his tone matching Shannon's.

"HOW COULD I?! HE REFUSED TO SPEAK TO ANYONE!"

"You could have still asked," Jethro forced himself to calm down, forcing his voice to quiet. "Though Tony said it happened the same day that the Marines came to visit. I'm sorry Shannon. I can just imagine how difficult that was."

"You don't know shit," Shannon snapped. She started to walk away but then stopped. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were going to have a meeting with the damn principal of the school this morning?!" her voice rose again.

"Oh well let's see it's hard to have a conversation with a snapping turtle as you walk out the door!" Jethro's voice rose along with Shannon's. "You've been pissed ever since we woke up at three o'clock this morning and I've done nothing but try to make everything right and it's all wrong and I want to know what the HELL YOUR PROBLEM IS?!"

Shannon's hand shot out and she slapped Jethro right across the face. "Screw you," she whispered. "You don't get to talk to me like that. You don't get to be gone for nine months and then come back in here and yell at me for having a problem. Just…" she threw up her hands. "Just go away," she snapped, turning away.

Jethro raised a hand to his cheek in shock. "Oh I can stay away, not a problem," he snapped. He picked up the dinner he'd been preparing and he threw it forcefully into the trashcan—pot and all. "This is me getting the hell out of your way. Do it yourself," he grunted. He snatched the corn off the counter and stomped out of the room.

xxx

Upstairs, Tony flinched at the loud and scary noises he was hearing coming from downstairs. He wondered if Mommy and Daddy were fighting. He knew he'd made Mommy angry, but he didn't understand why Daddy was mad too. He heard footsteps on the stairs and wondered if they were coming for him. He slid off the bed with a hiss and dropped to his hands and knees. Perhaps if he hid in the closet it would be better. But the closet had no doors (because they'd taken them off years ago to help abate Tony's fears) and the footsteps were much too close. He slid up under the bed instead.

Just as he disappeared under the bed, Jethro knocked softly on the door and opened it. "Tony? You here bud?"

He saw the flash of movement disappearing under the bed and hung his head. He dropped onto his hands and knees, grimacing at the pain on his joints, and lowered himself down enough to see under the bed. "Hey," he said, his voice tremendously gentle. "Whatcha doin' under the bed?"

"Everybody was yelling," Tony whispered. "I got…I was afraid."

"Come out here kiddo," Jethro said. Tony slowly slid out from under the bed and Jethro situated so he was sitting in the floor and Tony crawled up on his lap. "Mommy and Daddy are just getting used to things going back to the way they were," he said softly, hugging his little boy close. "And that might mean that we sometimes argue. But I still love your Mommy and she still loves me. And we both still love you."

"Ok," Tony said softly.

"Mommy's still kind of angry with me," Jethro admitted. "And I think it would be best if we let her have some space. Let's go out and grab something to eat."

"Just you and me?" Tony's eyes rounded.

"Yep," Gibbs confirmed. "What do ya say?"

"Can we go get pizza?"

They'd had pizza the night before when Jethro arrived home, but after the day that Tony'd had? Jethro smiled. "Pepperoni, sausage, and extra cheese, coming right up," he said. He stood up and slipped Tony's feet into his sandals. The little one's ankle was swollen a bit, and Jethro put the bag of corn over his leg. "We'll take that with us," Jethro said.

"Ok," Tony said. Usually Mommy looked after him when he was hurt, but Daddy was doing a good job too. He wondered if Mommy was still angry at him.

xxx

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Shannon snapped when Jethro re-entered the kitchen with Tony and picked up his car keys from the hook on the wall.

"Tony and I are going to go out to dinner and give you a chance to calm down," Jethro said pointedly. "Do you want us to bring you anything?"

"No," she snapped. "I don't!"

"Mommy?" Tony's voice was quiet.

"What." Shannon's tone flattened at Tony's words and Tony fought down the urge to cringe or duck lower into his daddy's embrace.

"Did I do bad?" Tony voice was nearly a whisper.

Shannon looked at him for a long moment. "What do you think?" she asked simply. Then she turned around and walked out of the room.

Tony's eyes filled with tears and he looked at his Daddy.

"You didn't do bad," Jethro assured him. "I promise. C'mon. Let's get outta here."

xxx

After Jethro and Tony left, Shannon looked around the house. It would be a couple of hours yet before Kelly would get home. She was all alone.

And how many times in the last fourteen years had she wanted to have some time to just be alone—some time to do what she wanted to do? And now she had it and…and she felt like shit. She didn't understand what was going on with her. Not really. Sure the transition to co-parenting was a difficult one. It always had been. But this…she'd never lashed out at Jethro like that!

Why was she so angry? She didn't understand what had stirred it all up so suddenly, but one thing was for certain, she was very, very, very angry. Angry at Jethro. He was like the perfect father—he could basically walk on water! Everything she worked so diligently at he just slid in and did it better than she did. She was angry at Tony…why did he insist so much on only relying on Jethro? She'd spent the last nine months bending over backwards for him! She'd done the very best she could do for him, and it was just being constantly thrown in her face that she wasn't doing it good enough. She couldn't get Tony to talk. Couldn't get the teacher and the school on board to look out for her kid. Couldn't get him to tell her what was wrong…but the minute his daddy showed back up well it was just like word vomit—Tony immediately started talking and telling his daddy all sorts of terrible horrible things that had happened while he was away.

What a mess.

Well, since she had the evening to herself, Shannon decided to do something she hadn't done in…well…ever.

With a smile on her face, Shannon headed upstairs and changed her clothes. Tonight, she was going out.

xxx

Dinner was a subdued affair for both Jethro and Tony. Tony was a bit whiny because his ankle was sore, but he tried not to be too disagreeable. Jethro kept things light hearted as much as he was able, but it was not hard to miss the fact that he was distracted. While they were finishing up dinner and waiting on their to-go order (because Jethro had ordered Shannon her favorite kind of Stromboli from the pizza joint) Jethro's cell phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket and made a funny face at it.

"Who's calling you Daddy?" Tony asked around a mouth full of cheese.

"Maddy's mom," Jethro said softly. He flipped open the phone. "Gibbs," he answered. He listened, and as Myra spoke, Jethro frowned. The more he listened, the deeper his frown got. "I wonder where she is," he finally said softly. "Ok. We're heading home here in just a minute. Tony and I stepped out for a pizza. Has Kelly…?" he listened again. "Oh you fed her already. Thanks Myra…Yeah we'll be by to get her in a few minutes. Thanks." He closed the phone and stared at it for a long minute.

"What's wrong Daddy?" Tony asked softly.

"Mommy wasn't home when Myra tried to drop off Kelly." He flipped open his phone and dialed a number. He listened for several long seconds until the phone rang to voicemail. He narrowed his eyes. "Hi Shannon, it's Jethro. I just got a call from Myra saying she was trying to go drop off Kelly and you weren't home. Just wanting to make sure you were ok. Love you." he closed the phone.

The waitress brought Shannon's food and Jethro paid the tab. He held Tony's hand while the little one walked slowly to the car with him. His ankle was feeling a bit better.

Jethro and Tony headed home, and Jethro wished he'd been surprised when he did not see Shannon's car in the driveway.

"Where'd Mommy go?" Tony asked softly.

"Don't know buddy," Jethro answered.

Together, he and Tony walked over to the Tyler's house and rang the doorbell. Myra answered and welcomed them inside. She passed Tony and Jethro each a cookie and called up the stairs for Maddie and Kelly to come down. A few moments later, Kelly and Maddie appeared at the bottom of the steps. Kelly bounced over to her daddy and crawled up onto the leg that Tony wasn't sitting on. She was turning eleven soon and was almost too big to sit on her daddy's lap, but she just couldn't help herself. Her daddy's lap was the place where she always felt the safest.

Jethro, Myra and Adam chatted for a bit while Jethro hugged both of his kids. Finally though, Jethro nudged them up and rose to his feet. "It's bedtime for some children," he said with a wink at his friends. "Thanks for the chat and the cookies," he said. "Kelly what do you tell Myra?"

"Thank you soooooooooooooo much Myra!" Kelly hugged Maddie's mom around her middle.

"You're welcome darling," Myra said. "You know you're welcome here any time."

"Thanks," Jethro said softly. Together he and the two kids headed across the yard towards their house.

xxx

What was initially concern for his wife's well being was quickly morphing into anger. Where the hell was Shannon? Jethro had gotten both kids into the house, both of them bathed, both of them into bed. They were tucked in and sleeping soundly now. Jethro was sitting in the living room. He'd left the porch light on, left a lamp in the living room on, the Stromboli was now cold, sitting on the kitchen counter, and with every minute the clock ticked by, Jethro grew more angry.

Tony and Kelly were both understandably concerned about their mommy, wondering where she was. Jethro had done his best to assure them that he thought she was ok and had probably just needed some mommy time.

Well mommy time had come and gone and this was beginning to border on the ridiculous.

He heard the car pull in and looked at the clock. Nearly one in the morning. Jethro remained on the couch, trying not to feel like a parent busting a teenager for breaking curfew. Shannon opened the door and stepped inside a moment later.

"Oh! Jethro! Hey!" Shannon said.

"Good morning," Jethro said softly.

"Mor—ohhhh I didn't realize it was so late," Shannon said. She tossed her keys on the table. "I thought you'd be in bed!"

Jethro kept his gaze even. "Well…I thought so too," he said, keeping his voice even and quiet. "I didn't know where you went though…no one did…I got worried."

"Why were you worried? I'm a big girl Jethro I can take care of myself!"

"Never said you couldn't take care of yourself. Doesn't change the fact that we're married and I love you and like to know you're safe."

"Well I'm here and I'm safe so you can go to bed," Shannon said.

"Shannon? Babe? Can we talk?" Jethro asked softly.

Shannon crossed her arms. "What do you want to talk about?"

Jethro sighed. He was tired and his head, shoulder, and knee were hurting. He wanted to pop a couple of painkillers and sleep for a year. But he wouldn't rest until he knew what was going on. His gut was churning and something told him that he needed to get Shannon talking. Something was up.

"I just…things seem…tense between us. And I'm not sure why. But I want to make it right. I don't want to fight. I spent the last nine months missing you like crazy—and I don't want to fight now that I'm finally here with you again."

Shannon sat down on the couch. "I don't know," she said softly. "I just…I've been so angry today…Jethro I don't want to fight either. I just…I guess I just feel like I've spent all this time you were gone trying to do everything well enough, and it's like…I feel like you're throwing everything I didn't do in my face," she said softly. "Especially with…Tony," she spat.

Jethro chose not to point out the tone of voice she spoke their son's name in. He'd ask her about that later once they'd both had some sleep. "Where'd ya go tonight?" he asked conversationally.

Shannon was quiet for a long moment. She pulled her feet up on the couch and tucked them up under her. "I just went…out," she said.

Jethro narrowed his eyes slightly but a smile tugged at his features. "Yeah?" he asked. She nodded. "Well did you have fun? God knows you were probably overdue for a night off," he said gently.

"I had a lot of fun Jethro," she said softly. "Went out to dinner…went to the movies…and then I went…I went dancing," she said. She smiled at the memories she'd made that night. She'd not done anything to make Jethro angry. She'd turned down several offers and had not taken her wedding band off all night. She had enjoyed the independence and the freedom. In fact, it was slightly intoxicating how much fun it had been.

"I'm glad you had a nice time," Jethro said. "Although I would have gotten a sitter for us if you'd have just said something. We could have gone together."

Shannon took two seconds too long to answer. "Yeah," she finally said softly. "I shoulda said something."

Jethro stood up. He scratched his stomach and stretched. "And Tony's ankle's alright too," he said.

Shannon stared at him for a long moment. "Ohhh," she said finally. "Oh ok. That's good. I'm glad he's alright."

Jethro narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. "Has Tony done something to make you angry Shannon?" he asked softly. "You seem…frustrated…by him."

Shannon shook her head. "I think I'm just tired," she said. "I don't know…I've been out of sorts all day long."

"Well it's the weekend," Jethro said softly. "Maybe we can all do some fun stuff together this weekend. And I'm here now," he ruffled her hair playfully before lifting her chin and smiling down at her. "I want to help. I want us to get back to normal."

Shannon smiled and stood up. She wrapped her arms around Jethro and smiled when he hugged her. "I don't deserve you," she whispered. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch today."

"Hey you said it not me."

"I did um…I fished the pot out of the trash can. Not the food, but…honey that was one of our best pots you threw away!"

They chuckled all the way up the stairs.

xxx

The next morning Jethro woke up before Shannon. That wasn't particularly unusual. He decided to skip his morning run—his knee was still hurting like a bastard—and he headed straight for the shower. He made coffee and got the morning paper and he smiled when Tony appeared downstairs shortly after the sun came up. He was still sporting a slight limp, but was walking a bit easier. Jethro wanted to do something fun with his family. He wanted a nice relaxing day with his favorite people on earth.

Jethro quickly helped Tony get dressed. "We need to run to the store," he said. "I want us to fix a surprise for the girls," Jethro told Tony. Tony smiled and nodded, eager to help surprise Mommy and Kelly.

They went to the store and Tony helped Jethro pick out all of their favorite sandwich foods, snack foods, and drinks. They brought them home and Jethro was mildly surprised that Shannon was still asleep. Kelly stumbled down the stairs a short time later, dressed and with her hair in a ponytail. She looked sleepy, but smiled when she saw her Daddy in the kitchen.

"Morning Princess," Jethro said with a smile.

"Hi Daddy," Kelly said. She gave him a hug and he kissed her on top of his head. "Whatcha doin?"

"Making sandwiches," Jethro said. "Tony's helping. You wanna help? Or do you want breakfast?"

"I want breakfast!" Tony piped up. "I want pancakes!"

Jethro smiled. "How about blueberry pancakes?" he asked.

"Oh yeaaaah!"

"Hooray!"

Both of the kids danced around happily as Jethro smiled and shook his head. "Tony you keep making sandwiches. Kelly you take over for me and help Tony. I'll work on making breakfast."

Kelly picked up the knife and then looked around. "Where's Mom?" she asked.

Jethro smiled and set the mixing bowl on the counter. "Mom is sleeping. I think you kids wore her out while I was gone!" he chuckled and Kelly giggled.

Tony frowned and put his knife down. "I did not mean to," he said softly.

Jethro smiled at him. "I was just teasing," he said gently. "You didn't hurt Mommy at all. She's just fine—we are just letting her sleep in ok?"

Tony nodded and picked the butter knife back up. "Ok Daddy," he said. "We're gonna have a good day today yea?"

Jethro nodded. "We sure are!" he promised. _If your mother will cooperate with us, _he thought to himself.

xxx

It was nearly 11am before Shannon appeared downstairs. By then Jethro and Tony had let Kelly in on their plan for the day. She was excitedly helping them make preparations and she smiled when Shannon appeared in the kitchen.

"Morning Honey!" Jethro said with a smile. He passed her a cup of coffee.

Shannon smiled and took a long sip of coffee. "That's good," she said, nodding appreciatively.

"Mommy Mommy! You gotta get dressed it's almost time to go!" Tony exclaimed, a huge smile on his face.

Shannon blew out a long breath. "Can I at least finish my cup of coffee before you start?" she asked. The tone in her voice was kind, but Jethro narrowed his eyes at her words.

"Sorry Mommy," Tony said despondently. He turned and left the room.

Kelly narrowed her eyes at her mother and frowned. "He didn't do anything to you," she snapped, before following Tony with a dramatic roll of her eyes.

Shannon took another sip of coffee. "Some days I do not understand those two," Shannon said. "I mean geez louise I just woke up like two minutes ago. Can't a girl have a chance to get her eyes open?"

"Not when she sleeps til lunchtime after staying out all night," Jethro replied sweetly. "We're going to the beach today. Thought it'd be fun to take the kids."

"Sounds good," Shannon said. "Lemme grab a shower. What time are we leaving?"

"About an hour ago," Jethro said. "The kids helped me pack us lunches."

"They're having a big bazaar down by the wharf too," Shannon said. "Could we maybe drop by there?"

"Yeah or you could just take the car later if you want to. I know Tony hates those things," Jethro said. "He'd probably be happier in the water, and then you wouldn't have to fight him and the crowd."

"That sounds like a plan. We'll have lunch on the beach and play a bit then I'll go over there."

Jethro kissed her cheek. "I'm looking forward to spending some time with you today too," he brushed his nose through her hair.

"Should be fun!" Shannon said. "I'm going to go get ready. Don't leave without me!"

xxx

Jethro sat in the sand and smiled. Tony and Kelly were like fish in the water. He loved to watch them play and laugh as the waves crashed over them. He enjoyed watching them enjoy each other's company. They'd had their share of differences along the way, as any siblings do, but Jethro knew that deep down Tony and Kelly were the very best of friends, viciously protective of each other. Any question about that had been nixed earlier in the kitchen when Kelly snapped at her mother for the way she spoke to Tony.

The young father wondered about that. He wondered what was going on with Shannon that was leaving her so short-tempered with Tony. It worried him, because if he had to go on another deployment, he didn't want to leave either of them in a position where they'd be more unhappy than normal.

Kelly tromped out of the water, dripping everywhere and headed up the beach where Jethro was sitting. Tony was still splashing around in the water, having a good time. Kelly came and plopped down next to her daddy, flinging little droplets of water all over him.

"COLD!" He exclaimed, chuckling as Kelly tried to drip on him more. He passed her a drink. "Having fun?"

"The best," Kelly said. "The water feels so good!" She took a long sip of her drink and was quiet for a long moment. "Daddy?" she finally said.

"Yeah Kelly?"

"Is Mommy ok?" she asked finally.

Jethro looked at his oldest child, and his gut churned slightly. "I think so," he said softly. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…" she huffed, frustrated. "She's not acting like…well…MOMMY anymore!" She finally exclaimed.

Jethro frowned slightly. "What's she doing?" he wanted to gauge what his kids were seeing their mother doing.

"She's being really mean to Tony, like, for no reason!" Kelly exclaimed. "This morning? In the kitchen? Tony didn't do anything wrong. He just was excited. And she snapped at him. And she slept til almost lunchtime! Daddy she don't do that when she's sick!"

"I think maybe me being gone was really hard for Mommy," Jethro said gently. He was glad Shannon had taken the car to go to the wharf. He didn't think she'd like this conversation very much.

"Well you being gone was really hard for me and Tony too and we aren't being brats!" Kelly said.

"Kelly did something happen while I was gone?"

Kelly looked at her lap.

"Gotta tell me Baby Girl," Jethro pleaded softly. "I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."

"She was different to Tony," Kelly whispered. She stared out at the sea. "It was like he was getting on her nerves, but he wasn't doing anything. And like…that day when he broke his arm…Daddy he was so scared! And he was hurting—you could look at him and tell! But Mommy didn't really try to make him feel better. I did though. I was extra nice to him and offered to help him with stuff and all…" she shrugged. "Mommy just seemed mad that he couldn't do stuff on his own."

Jethro felt sick. Why hadn't anyone said anything to him? "Did other things happen?"

"Yeah," Kelly said. She sniffled suddenly and Jethro watched as a tear dripped off the end of her nose as she stared at her lap. "He didn't want me to tell anyone," she murmured. "Especially you."

"What didn't he want me to know?" Jethro asked. He turned his gaze to the ocean, watching the little boy that he loved so much as he played in the ocean.

"She didn't get him a birthday cake this year. We didn't even have a party. She took us up to the playground and there was some kids there, but we didn't even sing or anything. Scott's mom asked about it later and Mommy told her we'd just had a little quiet party."

"Wait, wait, wait, are you sure?"

Kelly looked at her daddy like he'd grown another head. "Um yeah Daddy. I was there. Why?"

_Because your mommy wrote me and told me all about the party that she threw for Tony and the cake and the…_ "Did Tony ever mention wanting a party?"

"No," Kelly said. "I made him a birthday card though."

"Did he get any presents?"

"I don't think so," Kelly shook her head. "Oh no wait. He got a package in the mail from Grandma and another one from Grandpa. And the one from you. But that was all I think."

Jethro ran a hand over his face. Shannon had lied to him? What the hell? Why would she lie to him? Why would she treat Tony that way? What else had she lied to him about? He let out a long breath. "Well. We'll have to fix that won't we?" he asked with a smile at Kelly.

Kelly looked at him. "Are we going to throw Tony a birthday party?"

"Don't you think we should?"

Kelly nodded. "We should make it a surprise birthday party."

"I don't know about that part," Jethro said. "Tony's not really one for surprises."

"Yeah," Kelly said. "That's true."

"I'm glad you talked to me, Princess," Jethro said, draping an arm around her shoulders.

"I just don't get it," Kelly said, and her voice wobbled belying the tears that were rumbling just beneath the surface. "Tony's such a nice kid. He's a good brother. I don't know why Mommy is acting so weird."

Jethro hugged Kelly tighter. "I don't know Sweetheart," he said. "But I'm going to find out."

xxx

Tony played in the ocean for hours. He tried to catch fish, build sandcastles, and find occupied shells. Daddy had made him get out of the water a while ago to put more sunscreen on. He played and played, and ignored it when he started feeling tired. He loved the beach and the ocean, and he didn't want this day to end. Kelly had gotten out of the water for a long time and gone to sit with Daddy on the beach. After that Daddy and Kelly had both gotten into the water and they all played a bit. He'd looked around for mommy, but didn't see her. That was ok with him. Mommy hadn't been very nice to him lately. He didn't know what he'd done to make her so mad though! It really worried him because he was afraid he'd make Daddy mad too.

His legs were starting to feel heavy and so were his arms, so he headed up closer to the sand. He didn't want to get too tired to swim! Just as his feet hit the sand he heard his Daddy's shrill whistle over the sound of the ocean. He looked up where their towels were, and saw his Daddy waving him back. It must be time to leave. There were more waves now, and Tony wondered if that meant the tides were coming in or going out. He could never remember which was which.

Tony picked himself up off the sand after he swam as far as he could and just as he started to stand up a huge wave snuck up on him and crashed over him. It knocked him back down and his ankle wrenched painfully in the sand when he fell. He gasped in pain just as another wave crashed over his head and he sucked in a mouthful of water. Fear filled him and he wondered if he was about to drown. He tried to yell for his daddy but got another mouthful of water as a result.

xxx

Jethro was standing on the beach waving Tony back in. The tides were coming in and he didn't want to risk Tony getting swept up in the increased waves. Tony was a good swimmer, but Jethro understood how quickly the ocean could overpower even good swimmers. He whistled and watched Tony's head whip towards him and he smiled, waving harder. They had a rule at the beach about playing in the ocean—the kids had to stay where there feet could touch the sand—and Tony was getting out a little farther than Jethro liked. He watched as Tony started to trudge up out of the water. The little boy was staggering a bit in the water and Jethro knew that was likely because of the moving water around his legs. It could be very disorienting.

He watched in horror, his feet already moving, as a huge wave—taller than Jethro—crashed over Tony's head. Tony was knocked down by the force of the water. Another wave was crashing in right behind the first one—right over Tony's head.

"Daddy!" Kelly shrieked. She'd been up at the blanket already. The blanket wasn't too far from the ocean—only a few yards. She'd gotten out a bit earlier to find a t-shirt to wear because she didn't want to get more sunburned than she already was. The sun was beginning to set, but was still pretty high in the sky and was still very hot. The little girl on the beach watched in horror as the big wave crashed over her baby brother.

Jethro raced into the water, high stepping over the waves and reached the spot where Tony was curled up on the ground in no time. He scooped the little one up and hauled his son out of the water. Tony was coughing and gagging, spitting out huge mouthfuls of water. It was music to Jethro's ears. He sank to his knees on the beach, paying no attention at all to the pain in his own knee and shoulder, and he checked his little boy over.

Tony had a big scrape on his forehead where he'd had his face ground into the sand by the force of the wave. It was bleeding but didn't look too serious. Tony was still coughing up water and Jethro pounded him on the back trying to help him dislodge the salty liquid.

"Ok Tony?" Jethro said, whacking his son on the back. He could see that Tony was also sunburned, despite their efforts to keep him slathered in sunscreen.

Tony kept coughing until finally he threw up, heaving and choking as water and lunch reappeared on the beach. Jethro rubbed his back soothingly and smiled as Kelly appeared, draping Tony's towel over his shoulders.

"Tony are you ok?!" she asked, the fear evident in her voice.

Tony coughed again and heaved once more. Jethro wiped is face with the corner of the towel. "Can you hear me Tony?" Jethro asked, getting more concerned.

Finally Tony took a shaky breath and nodded. "I—" he coughed again, "Ok."

"Ok alright take it easy," Jethro said and he felt the ball of his fear in his gut begin to release. "I've got you. Kelly's here you're ok."

Kelly took her towel and wiped at Tony's forehead with it. "What'd you hit your head on Tony?" she asked.

Tony looked up at her. "I think onna beach," he said softly. He coughed again.

Jethro cupped Tony's face and raised his eyes. He smiled when Tony's gaze reached his, and was relieved when he saw that the boy's gaze was clear. "Let's go sit, ok?" he said.

Tony nodded. Jethro stood up and hooked his arm under Tony's elbows and started helping him up. He supported him more when Tony wobbled—that little ankle was flaring up again. It didn't want to hold him up.

"Did you twist your ankle again?" Jethro asked as they started up the beach. He picked Tony up and carried him gently when he saw how much Tony was struggling to walk.

Tony nodded. "I didn't mean to Daddy," he said. "I didn't mean ta fall down."

"Not your fault kiddo," Jethro assured him. "I've got you. You're gonna be ok."

Jethro sat Tony on the blanket and tucked the towel in tighter around Tony's shoulders. "Stay awake Tony," Jethro said when he saw Tony's eyelids drop shut.

"Daddy where's Mommy?" Kelly asked softly. "We needa take Tony to the doctor don't we?"

"I ok," Tony murmured. He raised a hand to his head, bracing himself up with his other hand. He coughed again.

"I'm going to call Mommy and tell her we need to head home," Jethro said. He dug around for his cell phone and flipped it open. He dialed Shannon's number and pressed the phone to his ear. The phone rang and rang, but there was no answer. A moment later Shannon's voicemail picked up. Jethro flipped the phone shut, reopened it, and dialed again. When it rang to voicemail again, Jethro lost his temper. "GODDAMMIT SHANNON WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! I NEED YOU! CALL ME BACK!"

Tony coughed again and heaved, throwing up once more. Jethro ran a hand over the back of Tony's head and flipped open the phone again, quickly dialing.

_"911 what is your emergency?"_

Jethro gave the operator their location, told them what had happened, and asked for an ambulance. The operator assured them that an ambulance would be dispatched. Jethro got off the phone. He took a couple of deep breaths and smiled—he hoped reassuringly—at Kelly and Tony. "An ambulance is coming and we're going to go to the hospital and get you checked out Tony," Jethro said.

"Can we leave without Mommy?" Kelly asked.

Jethro smiled sadly at the kids. "Yeah," he said. "This time we're gonna have to I think. Mommy's got the car though, and I already left her a message. She ought to be getting in touch with us soon and we can tell her what's going on."

"She won't come," Tony mumbled, leaning against Jethro and coughing again. "Mommy don't like me no more…"

"I think Mommy would want to be with us," Jethro said. He looked at Kelly, out of Tony's line of sight, and she frowned and shook her head. Kelly wasn't convinced. That worried Jethro quite a lot.

"I'm going to call Maddie's mom and ask her to come and get our stuff ok?" Jethro asked. "She can get our cooler and stuff. If she gets here before we leave, Kelly you can go with her if you would rather."

"No thanks Daddy," Kelly said. She picked up Tony's hand and held it and the little boy squeezed it. "I'd rather stay with my brother."

xxx

Jethro called Myra who immediately freaked out over Tony getting hurt on the beach. She assured Jethro that if she could do anything to help that she would. She'd hurry straight to the beach and pick up their stuff and then meet them at the hospital to see if they needed anything. She offered to bring them all dry clothes if they needed it.

Before Jethro got off the phone, the wail of an ambulance could be heard as the large vehicle rolled up onto the beach. The paramedics jumped out and ran over to where Jethro and Kelly were sitting with Tony. Tony was slightly more coherent, but he was still coughing and was trembling. He was horribly pale, despite the sunburns around the edges. His little ankle was horribly swollen and he was covered in scrapes and bruises.

"Mr. Gibbs?" one of the EMTs spoke. Jethro blinked and looked at them. "Yes, Tony's right here. Thank you for hurrying," he said. "I don't think it's anything life threatening, but he gave us a real scare," Jethro babbled.

"Got a pretty nasty scrape on your forehead there bud," the lead paramedic said, smiling down at Tony. "Let's lay down and let me have a look ok?"

Tony nodded slowly and the medic supported Tony's head as he laid down. Jethro was careful to stay right in Tony's line of sight. Tony winced as the medic shined a light into his eyes. Another medic appeared on Tony's other side and began lightly pressing a thick bandage to Tony's head.

"Hi Sweetie," she said gently. "Did you bump your head?"

"Yeah," Tony whispered. He coughed again.

"He got choked on the water too," Kelly informed the medics.

"Can you tell us what happened?" The first medic asked Jethro.

Jethro quickly relayed what happened. They nodded sadly at the tale of the accident, and the pretty medic who had been working on Tony's head moved slowly to Tony's ankle and began probing it lightly.

"He twisted it last night at home," Jethro said. "And then he twisted it again when the wave crashed over him."

"Awww Sweetie," the pretty lady medic cooed. "We'll get you all fixed up ok? And we'll make sure your head is alright too."

Tony nodded slowly. "I's sleepy," he whispered.

"Better stay awake kiddo," the medic told him. "We're going to lift you up onto a stretcher ok? You are not going to fall, and your daddy and sister are going to ride with us."

Jethro and Kelly watched as the medics loaded Tony's stretcher up into the ambulance. Behind the ambulance they heard the sound of screeching tires. Much to Jethro's surprise, Shannon came running across the beach. "JETHRO! MY BABY! KELLY! WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"We're right here Shannon," Jethro said, stepping around the ambulance. "Where were YOU is the question."

"I was at the wharf!" Shannon said breathlessly. "I just got your message. Where's Kelly?" She looked around.

"She's in the back of the ambulance with Tony," Jethro said gently.

"Is she alright?!"

Jethro narrowed his eyes. "With me," he growled, grabbing her arm and dragging her to the front of the ambulance.

Shannon jerked her arm away. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she hissed.

"With me?" Jethro sputtered. "WITH ME?! Where the hell were you this afternoon? The wharf. For a bazaaaar," Jethro stretched out the word and putting the word in air quotes. "Do you know that Tony could have drowned this afternoon? That he hit his head—if I hadn't been watching—if we hadn't been watching he could have died. And you haven't even asked me if he's ok. What the fuck is your problem?" He hissed. "Who. Are. You."

Shannon's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh Jethro," she breathed. "Oh honey I didn't know! I didn't…I just got here and then I didn't see Kelly and—"

"Save it," Jethro said, seeing the signal from the medics that it was time to leave. "I am so sick of your new attitude. I don't even know you!"

"Jethro!" Shannon admonished.

"I don't have time for you or your shit right now," Jethro snapped. "Get yourself together Shannon. I'm going to the hospital. One of us has to look out for Tony—and it sounds like you certainly have NOT been doing that. You can either meet us at the hospital or we'll see you when we get home."

He stepped around her then and walked to the back of the ambulance. A moment later it pulled away, leaving Shannon standing in the sand. A moment later another car pulled up and Myra Tyler got out.

"Myra! Oh thank God! I…wait. What are you doing here?"

Myra looked pissed. "I'm here because Jethro called and asked me to come get your things," she said briskly, walking right past her friend, over to where Jethro and the kids had left their towels and blanket.

"Why did he ask you to come get our stuff?" Shannon asked, puzzled.

Myra stopped folding the towel she was holding and stared at her friend. "Really? You have to ask me that?" she questioned.

"Well I told Jethro I was coming right back," Shannon said.

"He told me that you'd been gone nearly four hours and that he called you twice and left a voicemail and you didn't answer your phone OR call him back. He knew he was going to have to go to the hospital with Tony and he didn't know what else to do."

Shannon glared at her friend. "Well that's just great!" she snapped.

"Shannon…Jethro's really worried about you," she said softly.

"What does he know?" Shannon crossed her arms.

"He knows that pretty much ever since he got home you've been angry. He's wracking his brain trying to figure out what he's done to make you so angry. And then you left out last night and didn't tell anyone where you were…"

"I don't have to ask permission to go out!" Shannon retorted.

"No," Myra agreed, "But he was concerned. He didn't know what was going on. And he calls you and you don't answer, and he tries to talk to you and you yell at him…he doesn't know what to do. Is it just the readjustment?"

"I'm a big girl," Shannon said, snatching the blanket out of her friend's hand.

"Yeah well you're acting like a preschooler right now," Myra retorted. "Look Shan, we love you ok? We want you to be ok. But we need you to talk to us. If you're upset or if you need help with something you need to tell someone."

"All I need is some goddamn space," Shannon said. "Is that too much to ask? Ever since I was eighteen years old all I have done is follow Jethro all over the damn country, packing, moving, making friends, leaving friends, finding jobs, leaving jobs, having a baby…finding…another kid," Shannon spat and Myra's eyes narrowed. "You have no idea how difficult having Tony makes things," Shannon said softly. "And Jethro just treats him like he's a little prince."

"Well in Jethro's eyes both of your kids are pretty fantastic," Myra said. "But then again, to everyone else your kids are pretty fantastic, too. What's going on Shannon? This doesn't sound like you," Myra sounded genuinely concerned.

"On the contrary," Shannon said softly, crossing her arms. "This is the first time in a long time that I've sounded at all like myself."

TBC…


	13. Behaving Badly

**Author's Note:** Lots of people have questioned what is going on with Shannon—wondering if it is just the readjustment taking more toll or if it is something else. I can tell you that there is more going on here than just Shannon trying to readjust—so if it seems like her behavior is extreme, that's why. We're going to continue seeing more of what's going on with her come to the surface, and some of it might make some of you unhappy or uncomfortable. I'm not Shannon's biggest fan right now, but I'm trying to make her as redeeming as she'll allow me to. I hope as the story progresses that some of your questions get answers. Thanks for reading and sticking with me everyone! —Headbanger

_Special thanks as always to my wonderful friend, and beta, Gotgoats. You are amazing!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 13: Behaving Badly****  
**

"Family for Tony Gibbs?" a nurse in the doorway called out.

Jethro and Kelly were sitting in the waiting room in the emergency room. They hadn't been waiting long—the medics said they only needed a few minutes to get Tony looked over and then they'd be allowed back with him.

"That's us!" Jethro said, standing up. Kelly was holding tightly onto his hand. The nurse motioned for them to follow her and Jethro and Kelly followed. C'mon Baby Girl," Jethro murmured.

Back in the examination room, Jethro smiled sadly to see that Tony was sleeping. "Is he alright?" he asked the nurse.

"Just sleeping," the nurse said. "Poor thing's exhausted. He was telling us about his fun day at the beach. Sounds like he had a good time up until he got hurt."

"That's usually the way things go for him," Jethro said softly.

Kelly had moved up close to the little bed where Tony was resting. His ankle was wrapped up in an elastic bandage and there was an ice pack on it. There was a white bandage on his forehead and another one on his knee, and another on his elbow. When he heard the sounds of more people moving around him, Tony's eyes blinked open. He saw Kelly standing with him and he smiled.

"Hey Kelly," he said softly, blinking heavily.

"Hi Tony! Are you ok? We're really worried about you!" Kelly exclaimed.

Jethro finished speaking to the nurse and then turned his attention to Tony. "Hey Bud," he said softly. He sat down on the edge of the gurney and rubbed a hand over Tony's arm. "How ya feeling?"

"I am ok," Tony said.

"Yeah?" Jethro said softly. "Nurse said ya bonked your head pretty good." He didn't mention how badly it scared him for Tony to have another head injury after his last one…the gunshot wound to the head…the knock to the head he took when his leg broke and he fell down the stairs…another head injury just scared the hell out of Jethro. "Thankfully," he said with a smile, "You have a hard head."

Tony and Kelly giggled.

The doctor pulled the curtain back. "Tony Gibbs?" he asked.

Tony immediately shrank back slightly. Jethro squeezed his hand. "That's us," he said.

"The nurse was just telling me that you bumped your head at the beach this afternoon," the doctor said gently. "Let me just take a quick…look…" he shined a light into Tony's eyes. Tony thought the light hurt a little, but not too badly. He had a bit of a headache, but his ankle was hurting worse than his head was.

"I don't see any signs of a concussion," the doctor said. "But since he's just a young thing I think it would be best to go ahead and treat it like he does have a concussion. Wake him every two hours tonight. Light meals, don't feed him too much, and plenty of rest and water. If he complains of a headache, he can take children's tylenol."

"Got it," Jethro said.

"Also, it's not uncommon after a bump on the head such as this, for him to experience nausea and vomiting. However, if he should begin to projectile vomit, have trouble with his vision, or if any of his symptoms becomes severe or unbearable, then please bring him back."

"Hear that Tony?" Jethro asked softly. "If you start feeling worse you need to let me know ok? And we'll come back."

"Kay," Tony whispered. He noticed that Jethro didn't tell him to tell Mommy. He wondered about that but didn't say anything. He wondered if Mommy was still angry with him.

The doctor carefully checked Tony's ankle and nodded that it was wrapped correctly and was iced and elevated—everything he would suggest for it.

"Are we ready to go?" Jethro asked the doctor, once he was finished with his exam. He patted Tony on the tummy while he talked to the doctor.

"I think so," the doctor said. "Tony? On a scale of one to ten, one being no pain and ten being worst pain ever, how much pain are you in?"

"Um…about a three," Tony said softly.

"Good to hear," the doctor said kindly. "I think you will be fine with just tylenol then, Mr. Gibbs."

Jethro thanked the doctor and helped Tony sit up. "Oh wait, we only have wet clothes for you to put back on…hmmm…"

"I can wear my swim shorts Daddy," Tony said softly. "I will be ok. I can put on a others when we get to home."

"Alright," Jethro said. Then he stopped. "Next order of business is figuring out how to get home." He looked at Tony and Kelly with worried eyes. "Just have to figure out a plan," he said with more confidence than he felt.

xxx

Myra wondered what was going on with Shannon. She worried for her friend, but at the same time could not condone the decisions she was making. She ran by her house and picked out some of Adam's shorts and a t-shirt of his, along with a sundress of Maddie's and some plain black shorts of Maddie's for Tony to borrow. She shook her head when she saw that Shannon had not gone home after leaving the beach, and hoped that she'd meet her friend at the hospital. She spoke quickly to her husband, Adam, and told him what was going on. Adam was making dinner on the grill, but promised to save leftovers. He told her to go—their friends needed her. Gathering the things she'd picked up, Myra threw them in the car and sped off to the hospital. Their friends needed her.

All of their friends.

Once she arrived at the hospital, Myra picked up all of the clothes and hurried to the waiting room. She told them who she was there to see but because she was not family, they did not let her go back. The nurse working at the desk insisted that Myra stay in the waiting room. She hadn't been there very long when she heard Jethro's soft voice speaking to the children. They were leaving the Discharge area and she frowned sympathetically when she saw Tony's bandaged forehead and him leaning heavily on his Daddy's arm.

"Ohhhh there you are!" Myra called. "Jethro!"

Jethro glanced around and the relief was evident on his face when he saw their family's friend. "Myra," he said softly. "Thank you so much for all your help."

"I don't know where Shannon went," Myra said softly. "She collected all of your things, but…isn't she here?"

"Haven't seen her," Jethro said quietly. "I don't have time to worry about her now though. I've gotta get these guys home."

"I brought some things for you to change into," Myra said quietly. "I didn't um…have any little boy's clothes though, so I brought a pair of Maddie's black shorts. I brought a dress for Kelly and some of Adam's clothes for you."

Jethro breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you so much," he said. "I can help Tony change…would you help Kelly?"

"Yes, yes of course. Come on Sweetheart, let's go get changed. Get you out of those wet clothes…"

A short while later, Myra pulled back into her driveway. Since the Gibbses lived next door it was not out of her way at all to take them home. "Do you need any help getting inside?" she asked Jethro.

Jethro, now out of the car, glanced in the backseat where Tony was asleep and Kelly was watching him carefully. "Nah I think we've got it," he said.

"Do you have your keys?"

"Yes," Jethro said softly. His stomach suddenly rumbled and he slapped a hand over it. "Looks like dinner is going to need to happen in the near future too," he said sheepishly.

"Nonsense," Myra said. "Come inside here. Adam was making burgers and hot dogs on the grill tonight. He said there would be leftovers."

"Did you miss dinner because of us?" Jethro asked softly.

"Don't worry about me," Myra said. "I'm fine. I'll eat with you."

"Does Adam know where you were?" Jethro asked.

Myra smiled. "Yes," she said softly. "He knows. He told me to take his clothes to you. Come on. It's alright. I promise."

Jethro lifted Tony out of the backseat and Kelly grabbed onto the hem of his t-shirt and together they all went inside.

xxx

Adam Tyler met them at the door and welcomed them inside. He had dinner prepared and waiting for them and a bottle of aloe on the counter to put on their sunburns. After a nice, relaxing meal, Jethro wiped his mouth on his napkin. Tony was still sleeping, sitting snuggly in Jethro's lap, and Kelly sat close by Jethro's left arm. She'd picked at her food and had been uncharacteristically quiet for most of the evening.

"Jethro," Adam said softly. "Let's go sit in the living room, shall we?"

Jethro nodded and they all moved to the living room. Tony remained in his lap, asleep. The nurse had given Tony a dose of tylenol in the hospital and he was able to rest and relax. Kelly leaned against Jethro and closed her eyes. "Would you like to let the children spend the night here? So you can…" Adam spoke softly.

Jethro smiled faintly and shook his head. "No thanks," he said. He ran his fingers through Kelly's hair. She was already sleeping against his side. "I think that we should all stick close tonight. And with Tony having the bump on his head today…" he shrugged one shoulder.

Myra smiled sympathetically. "You kind of got thrown right into things when you got back didn't you?" she asked softly.

Jethro nodded. "I knew that there'd be some readjustment. There always is. You know that."

Adam nodded. "Yes," he said. "But this…this is bigger than just readjustment."

Jethro nodded. "Myra," he said softly. "Did…has Shannon said anything? I mean…sorry. I shouldn't put you in the middle like this. I'm sorry." He dropped his gaze.

"Jethro," Myra said. "You need to understand something." Jethro looked up at his friends. "Adam and I adore your family. We love you guys to pieces! You aren't putting us in the middle! You weren't here—of course it makes sense for you to ask if I noticed anything."

Jethro swallowed hard and looked away. There was guilt on his features and neither of the Tylers wanted to see that. As far as they could tell, Jethro hadn't done anything wrong.

"We barely saw Shannon while you were away," Myra said quietly. "And when we did…she was always in a hurry, always rushing, always…" she closed her eyes.

"Always what?" Jethro asked. "Please I need to know."

"She was always so impatient," Myra breathed. "I thought she was just stressed. I asked her a few times if she was alright, but…" she shrugged. "She always said she was fine and I didn't need to worry about her. And Kelly spent many evenings here, which was totally fine with me, but…I often wondered why she wanted to. I guess I just assumed it was because she missed you and being here didn't make her think of it so much."

Jethro ran a hand through his hair. "Jesus Christ," he muttered. "How did things get so bad? Did I miss something? Were there signs that I missed?"

Myra leaned forward and put a hand on his friend's arm. "No Jethro," she said. "No it wasn't you. I'm not sure what happened…or when it all changed…but I know it's not you."

"Thanks," Jethro said softly.

xxx

The cigarette smoke in the air made the room foggy looking and it caused a strange glow to emanate from the neon signs that were lit along the walls. Low, dusky music played through the speakers and there was a small crowd of people swaying to the music in the middle of the room. The bar on the far wall was sticky with spilled alcohol and there were several pool tables sprinkled throughout the place with booths along the walls. The carpet was stained and ratty, but the lights were so dim that you'd be hard pressed to really notice.

In short? The place was a dive.

Jay Madison stood at the bar with his back leaned against it. From where he was standing he could see the door, the dance floor, and the pool tables. Not that there was a lot happening here…it was still early on Saturday evening.

The door opened, and Jay squinted at the sliver of daylight that illuminated the bar momentarily. The silhouette of a woman filled the doorway seconds before the door closed, bathing the bar in darkness again. The woman stepped further inside, her body moving to the beat of the music and she reached one hand into her hair and pulled the ponytail she had there loose. Stepping up to the bar she held up her hand to signal the bartender.

"Well hello there, Pretty Lady," Jay spoke, his voice as smooth as the rum she ordered.

The woman took the drink she ordered from the bartender. She smiled and sipped her drink looking up at the man talking to her. "Hi there," she said.

"Got a name?" he finished off his drink and then motioned for another.

"I sure do," the woman said. "Do you?"

"I do too! Amazing!" he exclaimed and she laughed. "So…you gonna tell me your name?" he asked gently.

"You first," she said softly, her voice barely audible over the music.

"My name's Jay," he said. "And you are?"

The beautiful red haired woman took another sip of her drink. "My name's Shannon," she murmured.

The two chatted for a while…danced a little, and the drinks kept flowing. They giggled and laughed, shot pool, and paid no attention as hours passed. The anger that Shannon was feeling towards Jethro and the kids seemed to ebb and flow…when she was distracted she didn't feel too angry, but once the more she drank, the more it seemed the alcohol fueled her frustration with her husband.

"Seriously Jay, you wouldn't believe this guy," Shannon slurred, a couple of hours later. "He's like…the biggest stick in the mud…until…" she giggled, "until it's play time. Then he's like, freakin'…daddy of the year! He's all fun and games—but he's completely useless around the house! He took off…and he left me—HE LEFT ME—with the kids—even though only one of 'em is mine—and he left me for nine months!"

A hand rested heavily on her hip. "Why'd you stay with him?"

"You kiddin? The money is soooo good when he goes away. The problem is he left me with both of our kids. I only had one baby. Then we went to the fair and found this little rugrat running around. My stupid husband has to be the damn hero—he insisted that we bring the kid home, even though I didn't think it was a good idea…it's a mess. And he's a total handful! He's Mr. High Risk, always having accidents, he's clumsy as hell, we've got thousands of dollars in doctor bills for him…oh it's just all too much. ' stupid…"

"He sounds like he's not good enough for you…but I'm sure the money's nice…the kids though…" he shrugged. "I'm not a fan of kids."

Shannon motioned for another drink. "Let's not talk about kids anymore. Let's just dance. Have a good time…"

Jay smiled and leaned in to kiss her but she pulled back. "Didn't say any of that, Jay," she said. "I'm not interested in having THAT much fun tonight."

Jay ordered another drink. "Couple more drinks and you might change your mind," he said smoothly.

She sipped her rum. "Don't count on it," she winked.

xxx

Jethro was carrying a still sleeping Tony in one arm and leading a half asleep Kelly back to the house when his cell phone rang. He stopped and dug out his phone, his eyes narrowed in frustration. Kelly looked up at him in confusion. It wasn't that late at night, only about 10pm, but after the day at the beach, and the trip to the emergency room, and the dinner and visiting with Myra and Adam…Kelly, Tony and Jethro were all exhausted.

Jethro looked at his phone and closed his eyes.

Shannon was calling.

"Hello," he answered.

_"Hiiiiiiiiiiiii Baaaaaaaaby!"_ Shannon squealed in his ear. It was loud enough that he pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Where are you?" he asked.

_"I'm at the Nite Life,"_ Shannon giggled.

"Really," Jethro kept his tone mild, knowing that Kelly was listening. "Where's that?"

_"Mmmm 'cross town,"_ she said. _"I had funnnn Jethro! I been dannnnncin'…"_

"Drinking?"

_"Mmmm yeaaaaah,"_ Shannon slurred in his ear.

Jethro's jaw clenched. He didn't know what was wrong with Shannon, but he knew she needed to get some help. She wasn't acting like herself at all. He didn't know if she was depressed or having a breakdown or what the hell her problem was, but this was much more serious and deep-seated than just readjusting to him being home.

"What are your plans?" he asked.

_"Mmmmm wellllll I don't think I shouldrive,"_ Shannon slurred with a giggle. _"Beee prollllly not a good ideaaaa."_

Jethro sighed. "Give me a half hour," he said. "I'll come get you. But this…Shannon we have to talk about this."

_"Oh you are always sooooooooooooooo responnnnnnsible,"_ Shannon groaned._ "Pleaaaaaaase just for one freakin' night can't you just…leave it?"_

"I'll be there in a half hour. I have to see if someone can come sit with the kids."

_"The kids? Ohhhhhhhhh the kids,"_ Shannon giggled. _"For a minute there I forgot all about her…"_

"We'll discuss this when I get there," Jethro snapped before he snapped the phone shut.

"Daddy?" Kelly asked softly.

"Yeah Baby Girl?" Jethro looked down at his daughter.

"Does Mommy still love us?"

Jethro nodded. "Yes," he said firmly, though he was beginning to wonder. "She does."

"Does she still love…" Kelly pointed at Tony. "Cause she doesn't act like it."

"I think Mommy still loves all of us," Jethro said. "I just think Mommy is having a hard time right now. C'mon we gotta go back to Myra's house."

"Why?" Kelly yawned. "I'm sleepy Daddy."

"I know Sweetheart. I need to go help someone for a bit ok?" He said.

"Can't we come?"

"I think it'd be better for you to stay with Myra," Jethro swallowed hard. He would not let his children see their mother like this. Reaching the door they'd just left, Jethro knocked.

Myra answered a moment later. "Jethro?"

"I just got a call," he said softly. "Could the kids stay here for a bit? I'll come back for them as soon as I can," he promised.

Myra reached out and took Tony from Jethro. Tony raised his head and looked around.

"It's alright Buddy," Jethro said. "Take a nap at Myra's house and Daddy will be right back soon ok?"

"Where…goin?" Tony was already dropping off to sleep again.

Myra looked at Jethro, concerned. "Is it what I think?" she asked.

Jethro looked at her for a long moment and Myra swallowed hard and then nodded. "I'll take Kelly and Tony," she said quietly. "Do whatever you need to. If it's tomorrow before you can make it back that's fine. What did the doctor say to do about Tony's head and ankle?"

The young father ran a hand over his face, feeling torn between going to help his wayward wife and staying with his children who also needed him. "Doc said that we need to wake him up every two hours and make sure he's coherent. For his ankle, he just said to keep ice on it—20 minutes on, 20 minutes off, and to keep it elevated. But overnight don't worry about the ice unless it's hurting him. Tylenol every four hours…he had some around 7:30 so he should be ok for a while yet. I'll try to hurry…"

"Don't you worry your head about it," Myra said. "Kelly wanna go crawl in bed with Maddie?"

Kelly shook her head and held onto her daddy's shirt. "I wanna stay with Daddy," she whispered.

"Awww Kelly Bug," Jethro said. His heart was breaking. He could not be in two places at once. Jesus why were things so hard? He took her hand and gently pried it off of his shirt. "I have to go out for a bit," he said. "But I'll be back soon to get you ok?"

"Will you come back tonight before I go to sleep Daddy?" she asked softly.

"I will do my very best. If you are asleep do you want me to come get you and bring you home? Or leave you here until in the morning?"

"If I go to sleep I guess just leave me here til tomorrow," Kelly said quietly, her eyes on her shoes.

Jethro passed Tony to Myra and knelt down in front of Kelly. He was definitely going to have knee surgery soon. He could just tell. Sonofabitch hurt all the time now. He put his hands on his little girl's shoulders and smiled sadly at her. She was so grown up, but still such a little girl at the same time. "I promise you," Jethro said softly. "That if you spend the night you can come home before breakfast. Ok? And we're gonna spend the whole day together."

"Ok," Kelly said softly.

"That's my big girl," Jethro drew her into a tight hug. She sniffled a couple of times but didn't cry. Jethro could see the tears in her eyes and knew she was fighting them back for his benefit. It broke his heart how strong she was trying to be. No one her age should have to work so hard to be strong. That was the grown-up's job. He silently screamed at his wife again. "I love you Kelly," he said.

"I love you too Daddy," she whispered.

Jethro stood up and ran his hand over Tony's back. Tony raised up slightly and looked around. "Hey buddy," Jethro said. "I'm gonna go out for a bit, but I'll be back soon ok? You're going to sleep at Myra's house while I'm gone."

"Kay…Daddy…" Tony nodded sleepily and laid his head back down on Myra's shoulder.

Jethro looked at Myra. "Thank you," he said softly. "I'm so sorry for the last minute. Thank you so much."

"Will you stop apologizing! It's fine. I promise. Go. Keep in touch."

Jethro nodded and turned, jogging to the car. Kelly and Myra stood at the door, Tony sleeping on Myra's shoulder, and they waved at Jethro's car until it was out of sight.

xxx

Jethro stopped at a gas station and looked up the address for the Nite Life bar in a phone book. He rolled his eyes when he realized it was all the way across town, but he had to give Shannon credit—it was smart on her behalf, because the likelihood of running into anyone she knew was small. Jethro pulled into the gravel driveway and sniffed in disgust at the cinderblock building with the neon sign. He saw Shannon's car in the parking lot and shook his head, wondering for the thousandth time tonight just what in hell was going through her head and what was happening to his family.

Throwing open the door to the bar, he nearly gagged on the smell of cigarette smoke that choked him the instant he walked inside. Never in his life had he ever darkened the door of a place like this. Not ever. Jesus. What was Shannon thinking? He steeled himself and walked further inside, squinting through the haze, hoping to see his wife by the glow of the neon lights.

Finally he spotted her, leaned over the pool table in the corner, cue stick in hand, preparing to start another game of pool. There was a man leaning against one of the pub-style chairs in the corner, lazily dragging off of a bottle of Budweiser. The man's eyes were glued to Shannon's ass and Jethro frowned. He walked over to the pool table and rested his hands on the green felt, facing his wife.

"What th'hell are you—Jethro!" Shannon exclaimed. "H-Hi honey! What are…um…what are you doing here?"

"Could be that you called me and asked me to come pick you up," Jethro retorted.

Shannon smiled and turned around, walking over to her glass of rum, parked on the table next to Surfer Dude's beer. She picked it up and downed it in one long gulp. Then she wiped her hand over the back of her mouth (one of her own pet peeves, Jethro noted) and she smiled drunkenly at her husband.

"Ohhhhhhh!" She exclaimed. She bounced off the table and then ricocheted off the pool table several times before reaching Jethro. She nearly sprawled herself in his arms and smiled up at him. "Have you met m'friennnnnnd? Jeeeeeethroooow this…this's Jay," she announced proudly. "He's been buyin' me dzrinks!" She hiccupped prettily.

Jethro's gaze was steely. "Buying drinks for a married woman is kind of tacky," he said. Then he turned to his wife. "And accepting them isn't much better. Is that all you've been accepting from him tonight?"

"Ah c'mon dude she tol'me what a stick intha mud y'are," Jay slurred. "Maybe I oughta buy you a dzrink too!" He smiled, obviously pleased with his idea. "'EY! Bartender! Gimme a…hey buddy wha're you dzrinkin?"

Jethro narrowed his eyes. "Nothing thank you."

"Ya old fuddy duddy," Shannon giggled.

Jethro narrowed his eyes, the pissed off Gunny fighting his way to the surface. He knew he could really cause a scene, but he really didn't want that. The kids didn't need that and he didn't need to get into trouble. He took a deep breath.

"Are you done?" he asked pointedly.

"Done what?" Shannon blinked blearily trying to get her gaze to focus.

"Done. Here." Jethro's voice dropped. "Because if you're not I'll be happy to leave you to find your own way home. We do have children to look after."

"Saaaaaay I heard about yer kidssss Dude!" Jay interjected. Jethro glared at Shannon. "She said they're kinda a pain intha asssss man! Maybe you needa dzrink too!"

Jethro ignored Surfer Dude. "If you are coming with me, then we are leaving. Otherwise find your own ride and find somewhere else to sleep tonight," Jethro snapped. "This is ridiculous."

Shannon blinked and hesitated. Jethro nodded. "Fine," he said. He turned away. She grabbed his arm and his instincts cried out that he was being attacked, but he did not raise his hands. He whipped around. "What?" he asked.

"Lemme pay my tab," Shannon said softly. "'m coming home."

Jethro nodded. "I'll be in the car," he said. "If you aren't outside in five minutes I'm leaving without you." He didn't want to be in this place anymore. He didn't think he'd ever get the stink out of Adam's clothes either. Without another word, he turned and walked outside.

Four minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, Shannon came trotting outside. She slid into the passenger seat and closed the door. "Thanks for coming to get me," she said softly.

Jethro clenched his jaw and backed out of the parking space. He pulled out in traffic and pointed the car back towards base. He wondered if Kelly had managed to sleep or if she would be awake and waiting on them. He wondered if Tony's ankle was hurting and if he needed more tylenol. Shit he hadn't left any with Myra. He'd have to buy her a new bottle if he took any of it. Christ. What a mess.

"Jethro," Shannon said softly, pleadingly. Gone was the party girl from earlier. "Will you at least talk to me?" she asked in a small voice.

"I don't think I have anything nice to say right now," Jethro said. "And we are teaching our children to keep their mouths shut if they can't say anything nice. So I thought I should maybe practice," he snapped.

Shannon swallowed hard and nodded. "I just…um…is Tony alright?" she asked.

Jethro braked hard at the red light and glared at her. "Like you care," he spat.

Shannon gasped softly. "That's…Jethro that's a horrible thing to say!" she whispered, horrified. "Why would you even think that?"

"Why would you give me reason to?" Jethro shot back.

"Are the kids at home?" Shannon asked softly.

"Oh yeah because I absolutely left our ten year old to watch our eight year old," Jethro growled. "Do you really think I am that stupid?"

"I don't think you're stupid Jethro," Shannon said meekly.

"Really? Cause that's not what Surfer Dude was implying—he seems to have gotten quite a lot out of you tonight," Jethro snapped. He was so angry. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this angry at Shannon. In fact, he didn't think he'd EVER been this angry at Shannon. "Which brings me back to my original question. Did you fuck him?" he spat.

Shannon's mouth dropped open. "I…NO!" she said. "Jethro! I…I'm your WIFE! I wouldn't…wouldn't ever…" she shook her head.

Jethro kept his eyes on the road. "I don't know if I should believe you or not," he said softly.

"Why would you NOT believe me? I have never done anything to make you think I'd cheat on you!" Shannon was getting angry now.

"I don't know Shannon," Jethro snapped. "You've been doing lots of things lately that I wouldn't normally think you'd do!"

"Oh well excuuuuuuse me!" Shannon yelled. "I am SO Sorry if you've had to actually get up off your assssssss and do something around the goddamn house lately!"

"I think you're being pretty unreasonable," Jethro said quietly. "This conversation is over."

"Oh this conversation is far from over!" Shannon whipped around in her seat. "I have spent the last nine months busting my ass for you—for the HOMEfront, for everything YOU left BEHIND! And for what? So you could come home and waltz in like a fucking prince, having a lovely time, playing with the children, taking all this leave. Oh you just disgust me! You make me sick!"

Jethro did not speak. His jaw worked but he didn't speak. He couldn't believe that the woman whom he loved more than anyone else…he couldn't believe she'd treat him like this. He didn't know what to do.

They drove back to the house without another word to each other.

xxx

While Jethro was on his way to meet Shannon, Myra led Kelly inside, Tony still sleeping on her shoulder. She passed Tony off to Adam who settled him gently on the couch without even waking him up.

"Myra?" Kelly asked softly as they started up the stairs to Maddie's room.

"Yes Kelly?"

"Can I um…can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure that Tony was still asleep.

"Sure baby," Myra said. "How about a drink before bed?" she suggested. When Kelly nodded, Myra turned them back towards the kitchen. Kelly sank into a chair at the table and Myra poured her a glass of lemonade. "Now tell me what's going on," she said.

"Well…I mean…I'm kind of…" Kelly sighed. "I'm worried about Mommy," she whispered.

"What's been going on?" Myra decided to hear what Kelly had to say.

"Mommy's been acting funny," Kelly whispered.

"How so?"

Kelly was quiet for a long moment. "I thought everyone would be happy when Daddy came home," she finally said softly. "She acted funny a lot of the time Daddy was gone, and I kept telling Tony that things would be better when he came back…but now he's back and…Mommy's worse," she whispered. "I'm so glad Daddy is home, but Mommy…I don't think she wanted Daddy to come back." Kelly looked up at Myra with tear filled eyes. "Does my Mommy still love my Daddy?" her voice wobbled.

xxx

Jethro and Shannon arrived back at the house and Jethro slammed his car door. He glanced at his watch and headed for Myra's house. It was still early enough that he could get the kids and bring them home, but honestly? With the way Shannon was acting so crazy and shooting her mouth off so irrationally, he thought it might be better for the children to stay with the Tylers over night. At least that way they'd get a good night's sleep. He raised his hand and knocked on the door, even as he heard his own front door slam.

Myra answered the door. "Jethro," she said softly. "Hi there. How'd it go?"

Jethro shook his head. He was still so angry. Myra noticed. "I'll keep the kids overnight," she said quietly. "Kelly just fell asleep a few minutes ago."

"Can I see them?" Jethro asked. "I just…" he shrugged.

Myra nodded. "This way," she said, leading him inside.

Tony was asleep on the couch. Jethro smiled sadly at him. "Has he woke up at all?"

"No," Myra murmured. "Should I wake him for more tylenol?"

"If you'll get it I'll do it and get him back to sleep," Jethro said quietly.

Myra quickly grabbed the bottle of tylenol out of the kitchen cabinet and a moment later she reappeared. Passing it to Jethro she stood back and watched with a heavy heart as her friend gently shook his boy's shoulder, and offered him the small medicine cup. Tony quickly sucked down the medicine and pressed a slobbery kiss to his daddy's cheek. He smiled sleepily at his daddy and a moment later drifted off to sleep again. Jethro smiled sadly at him and brushed his hand over Tony's hair. Then he stood up and took a deep breath.

Jethro followed Myra up the stairs to Maddie's room. Maddie and Kelly were piled up like puppies in Maddie's bed and Jethro paused in the doorway. He watched his daughter—his brave little princess—as she slept soundly next to her friend. Finally he stepped up to the bed and ran his hand over her long hair. He pressed the gentlest of kisses to her temple and whispered a very soft "I love you," in her ear. Then he stood up and headed out of the bedroom.

Myra led him down the stairs. "Did you get her home?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Jethro said tightly. "She um…the kids…don't need to see her tonight. She's not…They don't…" Jethro shook his head. "I don't even know how to describe it," he whispered.

"Are you…are you safe…there?" Myra asked cautiously.

"Yeah," Jethro said. "I'll be fine. Just keep an eye on the kids for me. I don't need to worry about them tonight too."

xxx

Jethro stomped back across the yard and opened his front door. He opened the door and his eyes widened with shock at the sight that met him. Shannon was standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him it seemed. Her hair was combed, and she was wearing a white silk nighty—the one that just barely covered…everything, and she was smiling.

"Jethro," she whispered. She smiled and Gibbs could see the drunken haze still in her eyes.

"What." His voice was flat. He was not even remotely attracted to the mess standing before him. Not like this.

She took a step towards him. He locked the front door and tried to step around her. She stepped in front of him. She smiled up at him and traced one finger over Adam's t-shirt. "Jethro," she said softly.

"Shannon. We are not doing this." he said firmly.

"Awww but Jethro, I've missed you," Shannon purred, running both hands over his shoulders.

"Funny, half an hour ago you were telling me all about how sick I made you and how you couldn't stand me. Forgive me if that doesn't put me in the mood," Jethro snapped.

"Do you not find me attractive anymore Jethro?"

Jethro narrowed his eyes. "Not when you act like a—"

Shannon's eyes flashed. "Like a _what_?"

Jethro shook his head. "I'm not doing this. I'm going to bed."

"Bed?" Shannon smiled. "Bed sounds like a wonderful idea. Where are the kids?"

"They're staying the night at Myra and Adam's," Jethro said.

Shannon smiled again. "You've been planning this all along!" she breathed.

"No," he snapped. "I'm keeping my children out of the path of your destruction! Now I said I'm going to bed and I meant it. I'm tired. I hurt. I feel like hell. I'm going to bed." He turned around and disappeared up the stairs.

Shannon followed him. She stood in the doorway and watched as he changed his clothes. When he started to get into bed she moved forward to join him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he spat.

"You said we're going to bed," Shannon mumbled.

"No," Jethro snapped. "I said I was going to bed. I didn't say anything about you!"

"What are you saying Jethro?" Shannon said softly.

Jethro picked up Shannon's pillow and threw it at her. "I'm saying sleep on the couch," he said. "I don't want you in my bed."

TBC…


	14. Conversations

**Warning:** We are going to hear more of what happened while Jethro was away in this chapter. There's no violence, there is one mention of a spanking, and there is boatloads of angst. I promise you, next chapter we will see what's going on with Shannon. Stick with me!

_Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats, for all your help!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 14: Conversations****  
**

Jethro tossed and turned all night. He finally got up about three in the morning and took a half of a pain pill. He was hurting badly, but he needed to maintain his focus. After hours spent punching his pillow, tossing and turning, moaning and grumbling, with the aid of the pain relief, he finally managed to drift off to sleep. The next morning he woke up early. He stumbled into the shower and stood there under the spray for a long time. He felt like shit—weary in both body and in spirit. Once he was done with his shower he quickly dressed and headed down the stairs.

He was gratified, on his way down, to notice that Shannon had not elected to sleep in either of the children's beds. He found her on the couch where he'd sent her the night before, still in her nighty and sound asleep, snoring heavily. God she was beautiful…except her face didn't look right. She looked old. Tired. He noticed the lines of tension in her frame and he could tell she wasn't relaxing or resting. He glanced at the clock and realized that it was nearly 0800. He'd promised Kelly the night before that he'd get them home before breakfast. If he was going to keep that promise, and keep the promise to himself that his children would not see their mother in this way, then he needed to get Shannon up and moving.

Steeling himself, he walked into the living room and he ripped the throw covering his wife off of her bare legs. She curled up tiredly and groaned, but didn't wake.

"GET YOUR ASS UP!" Jethro barked in his best drill sergeant voice. He was feeling a bit like a bastard, but he figured she'd brought this on herself.

Shannon's eyes popped open and she blinked blearily at her husband. "Mmmm whaaa?" she mumbled.

"I said get your ass up. You need a shower. You need to scrub the _stink _of that bar off of you before the children get home."

"Uhhh timeisit?" she slurred quietly. Her eyes slid shut.

"Doesn't matter what time it is," Jethro snapped. "You need to get your ass up, get sober, get clean, and get ready to be a _mother_. If you don't want to be around and be civil to the kids—and I mean _BOTH_ kids—then you need to find somewhere else to spend your time because I will not see my children run out of their own home, and I will not subject them to this behavior of yours. It's not fair to them."

Shannon pushed herself up to sit and put a hand to her forehead.

"You need help," Jethro said. "Our FAMILY needs help."

Shannon snorted and shook her head.

"Are you going to help me help them? Are you going to help me take care of our kids?" Jethro watched his wife, waiting for her to answer.

Shannon stood up and stomped out of the room. Jethro heard the door upstairs slam and shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. What a mess.

Jethro left the house a few minutes later, and stepped quietly over to the Tylers' house. He knocked on the door and from inside the house heard Kelly's happy squeal, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" The door opened an instant later and Kelly leaped onto her Daddy. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and clung tightly. "Daddy I had the best dream last night!"

"What'd you dream Princess?" Jethro asked softly.

"I dreamed that I was spending the night with Maddie and you came and you kissed me goodnight!"

Jethro hugged his daughter tighter, a lump forming in his throat. "Wasn't a dream Sweetheart," he said. "I really did that."

"You did? But…but if you came back…why didn't you take us home?"

"Well you were just sleeping so nicely and resting so well…I didn't want to risk waking you up," Jethro said, smiling sweetly at his little girl. "Are you ready to head home? I promised I'd come get you before breakfast."

"Tony's still sleeping," Kelly said.

Jethro put Kelly down and they moved inside the house. Myra came in and smiled when she saw Jethro. "I was wondering who Kelly was talking to," she said. They all glanced at Tony who was still on the couch, right where he'd been the night before. He was frowning and it made Jethro sad because he knew it was because Tony was hurting.

"How'd he do last night?" Jethro asked.

"He did alright. Woke up a couple of times," Myra said. "I slept down here in the recliner so I was close by if he needed me."

"Ah geez Myra I'm sorry," Jethro said.

"Jethro will ya quit apologizing," Myra said. "It's not a problem. I promise. It's ok."

Jethro gathered Tony up. Myra had given him more tylenol about six o'clock when he'd woke up the last time, and he was sleeping hard again. "We'll tuck him in on the futon at home," Jethro said, not thinking about the fact that it probably stunk to high heavens because of Shannon. "You ready to go Kelly?"

"I'm ready! Did Mommy ever come home? Did you go get her?"

Jethro glanced at his little girl. "I went to get her," he said. "She's at home."

Kelly crossed her arms. "Is she going to be nice today? She hasn't been very nice lately."

Jethro blinked at Kelly's bluntness. "I spoke to her Kelly. I hope so. I think we will have a good day."

"I think if Mommy starts being mean she needs to leave."

Myra covered her mouth and her eyes widened. Jethro ruffled Kelly's hair. "If she starts being mean we'll figure it out ok?"

"Well Tony don't feel good Daddy so she needs ta lay off him!"

Jethro barked out a laugh before he bit his lip to restrain himself. "We'll take care of Tony, Kelly. You and me. We'll take care of him. Don't you worry."

xxx

When Jethro arrived back at the house with Kelly and Tony, they heard the sound of someone in the kitchen. Jethro started towards the couch, but stopped when the smell hit him. He raised back up and Tony stirred against him.

Anger washed over him again. "Hey Shannon?" he called. He received no answer. "Shannon!" When he received no answer a second time, Jethro narrowed his eyes and frowned. He glanced at Kelly who shrugged. She turned around and walked into the kitchen.

"Mommy. MOMMY!" Kelly yelled as Jethro entered the room.

Shannon was standing at the stove, frying an egg and wearing her headphones. Her body swayed to music that, despite the headphones, was loud enough that Jethro and Kelly could hear it across the room.

Jethro watched her for a moment. "Shannon?" When she didn't turn around, Jethro stepped forward and yanked the cord on her headphones, pulling them off of her ears. "Shannon!"

She whipped around. "Jesus Jethro you scared me!"

"Well we called ya several times and you couldn't hear us," Jethro said. He rubbed his hand lightly up and down Tony's back. Tony slept on and didn't wake.

"I was making breakfast," Shannon said, turning back to the stove.

Jethro glanced at the pan. "Are we all going to split one egg?" he asked pointedly.

Shannon stared at him like he'd grown another head. "Are you hungry?" she asked innocently. "I thought Myra would have fed the kids…"

"No Mommy, Daddy promised us that he'd come get us before breakfast. Tony's not even awake yet!"

Jethro's eyes widened when Shannon's face suddenly took on a sickish green tint and she slapped a hand over her mouth. She looked frantically around, before leaning over the garbage can and heaving into it.

Jethro shook his head as Shannon coughed and gagged. "C'mon Kelly," he said softly. "Let's go get baths and get dressed." He hugged Tony tighter as he started out of the kitchen.

"Is Mommy ok?" Kelly asked, following her daddy out of the room but looking back over her shoulder. "Is she sick?"

"I think she'll be ok," Jethro said. "Mommy's just got a headache and a tummy ache this morning."

"Should we give her some medicine? Mommy always gives us medicine when we are sick."

"I don't know if medicine will help her feel better," Jethro said.

In the kitchen, Shannon leaned her arm across the trashcan and dropped her head on it. "Christ," she breathed. Finally she forced herself back upright. The egg on the stove was burned. She turned off the stove and dumped her breakfast in the trash. It wasn't as though she was going to eat it anyway.

xxx

Over the next couple of weeks, things continued along a slow decline. Shannon seemed content to go to work each day, and come home at a decent hour most nights. There were a few nights when she came home after the kids were in bed. When she smelled like alcohol, Jethro sent her to the couch and made sure she was up before the kids. On the nights she came straight home after work, it was obvious she was struggling to remain civil with them until she usually went to bed before the kids.

Jethro was given a month's leave time when he returned from his deployment. Originally, he'd thought the plan was for Shannon to take some time off and give them all a chance to reconnect with each other and to readjust to life together. But Shannon hadn't mentioned taking any time off work to be with her family. Tony's ankle was healing up nicely and he was back to running and playing, and much to Jethro's relief he didn't seem to be showing any signs of lasting effects of his bump on the head at the beach.

The young father was concerned though…he had noticed that Shannon wasn't doing anything around the house…she'd stopped cooking for everyone—cooking only for herself instead. She had stopped cleaning. She'd stopped doing anything for Tony or Jethro… Surprisingly though, her behavior towards Kelly hadn't really changed. She doted on her daughter. She'd take her chores away from her and give them to Tony. After a couple of incidents of this, Kelly caught on though, and refused to give up her chores. Shannon rolled her eyes at that.

Jethro was glad he was still on leave, but he knew it wouldn't last. He was worried about the way Shannon was treating Tony, the way she was treating herself, the way she was treating him. It was a recipe for disaster. The only one who seemed to be even slightly in Shannon's good graces was Kelly. Jethro was thankful that Shannon was at least being pleasant to one of her kids. For now Jethro was glad that Tony got to escape her wrath everyday while he was at school. Mrs. Adecot seemed to be being on her best behavior, but just in case, Jethro made a point of volunteering in Tony's classroom a couple of mornings a week, and he always dropped him off and always picked him up in the afternoons.

A couple of weeks before Jethro was slotted to go back to work, school let out for the summer. Jethro smiled knowing that the kids would be home with him more. He was glad that Tony was free of his teacher. Jethro thought his kids didn't need any more negativity. He knew he didn't. He was hopeful that the new school year would bring about some good and positive changes.

Jethro approached the subject of counseling with Shannon. Myra had mentioned it as well. Much to their dismay, Shannon adamantly refused any sort of assistance, stating that she was just fine and it was Jethro and the kids who needed to make the adjustments—they were the ones with the problem, not her. Jethro was debating whether or not to take the children to counseling, but they seemed to be resilient and were sticking together. Kelly was spending a lot of her energy running defense for Tony against Shannon…it worried Jethro. A lot.

xxx

One afternoon, Jethro was standing at the kitchen sink, washing up dishes from lunch. He was watching out the back window and could see Tony and Kelly playing in the sprinkler in the back yard. They were laughing and squealing and having so much fun. It made Jethro happy to know that they were such good buddies. While he was watching them, the phone rang. It made Jethro's gut clench now, every time the phone rang, because he never knew what Shannon's next…adventure would entail. And he never knew when the next storm would hit.

With a resigned sigh, he walked over and lifted the phone off the hook. "Hello," he said tiredly.

"_Leroy_?"

"Dad?" Jethro's voice caught in his throat.

It was nearly killing him, but he'd refrained from calling his dad. He was still trying to figure out what he'd done to upset Shannon so badly, to figure out how he'd ruined his married. He knew if he spoke to his dad that the older man would hear in his voice that something wasn't right. Jethro wasn't looking forward to having that conversation until he had more information from Shannon. But now, it seemed, after nearly a month at home, Jackson Gibbs was taking the reins himself and he'd called his son.

"_It's so good to hear your voice Leroy,"_ Jackson said.

"You too Dad," Jethro said. Shit he needed to get it together or his dad was absolutely going to know something was up. "What uh…what's up? How are things?"

"_Things here are the same as always. You know Stillwater is one of the most boring towns in the US. How are you?"_

Jethro ran a hand over his face. He so didn't want to go there today. He glanced at the clock. Shannon was still working—and would be there for at least another couple of hours. He sighed. "Hang on a minute Dad," he said quietly. Well if he was going to be busted he wasn't going to do it with an audience. Jethro set the phone on the counter and poked his head out the backdoor. "Hey guys," he called.

Tony and Kelly stopped and looked at him. "I'm just inside if you need me ok? I'm on the phone but I can still see you. Come get me if you need me ok?"

"Ok Daddy!" chorused across the backyard. Kelly blew a kiss at him and Tony waved. Jethro waved and blew kisses back. He shut the door and picked up the phone. "I'm back Dad," he said. "Had to check on the kids."

"_How are they?"_

"They're um…they're good," Jethro said softly.

"_Good,"_ Jack said. _"That's good. Now how about you cut the crap and tell me what's wrong."_

"I…What?" Jethro sputtered.

"_What's going on Son?"_ Jackson asked quietly. _"Not like you to not call. I mean sure we don't talk every day but usually once a week. You've been home almost a month now! What's going on?"_

"We…I…" he sighed. "Everything's…I think I messed up somehow," Jethro said softly.

"_Messed up how? We all make mistakes Leroy. And most mistakes can be fixed. Talk to me son. What's wrong?"_

Jethro let out a long breath. "My marriage is falling apart."

"_Did you and Shannon have a fight?"_

"No," Jethro said. "Yes…? I'm not…Dad I don't even know what's going on," he was nearly whispering.

"_Talk to me Son,"_ Jack pleaded. _"I can tell it's eating you. What happened?"_

"I think I've driven Shannon away somehow," Jethro moaned. "Ever since I came home…we've been arguing and fighting…she goes to work, sometimes she doesn't come home until really late, she's been going out to bars and drinking…she yells at me, yells at the kids…and…and then Kelly…Kelly told me some things…oh God Dad it's just horrible…"

"_Things like what?"_ Jack asked softly.

"Things like how she was so impatient with Tony after he broke his hand last winter…how she was just awful to him about it…and then she told me all about this birthday party that she threw for Tony…big party, cake, the playground, all of it."

"_Yeah?"_

"She…she lied to me Dad," Jethro's voice cracked. "She…she didn't…didn't do anything for Tony for his birthday. Didn't get him a cake. Didn't get him presents. The only presents he got for his birthday according to Kelly were the ones you and JoAnne sent him and the one I sent him."

"_Leroy that worries me,"_ Jack said. _"That doesn't sound like Shannon."_

"I know. I KNOW!" Jethro exclaimed. "I don't know what to do!"

"_Ok Leroy ok, calm down. We'll figure this out. Now. Has she said anything?"_

"Oh she's said lots of things. About what a horrible piece of shit I am and how lazy I am and how dare I leave her for nine months with the kids. About how I think I'm some kind of royalty or something who only wants to play with the kids but never help—Dad I've been doing all of the cooking since I came home. The kids are helping me with the chores—she's not doing anything! And I'm not saying she should have to do it all because that's never been how we've done things, but holy shit this is coming out of nowhere! It's like…it's like she doesn't want to be here anymore. I don't know what to do."

"_Well you know those things she's saying aren't true, Son. You're a good father and a good marine. She's gone through deployments with you before—she knows the drill. What happened this time that was different?"_

"The only thing really different this time was she had Tony too," Jethro said softly. "But…I mean c'mon Dad he's not a hard kid to take care of…is he?"

"_I don't think so,"_ Jack said. _"Ya know…I noticed when we were there visiting right before you came home that there was some tension there. Has he said anything?"_

"No," Jethro said softly. "He's asked me a couple of times if Mommy still loves us—but so has Kelly. I keep telling them she does, but…between you and me…I'm beginning to wonder. You said you noticed tension. What kind of tension? What'd you see Dad?"

Jack was quiet for a long time. _"She seemed…disconnected,"_ he finally said softly. _"It was like she was just going through the motions. Ya know I figured at the time that it was just her way of dealing with the news she'd gotten. She had just gotten the visit from the Marines about you…but the kids…they were both…just not themselves. They were acting different—it was like they were walking on eggshells around her. I didn't know why at the time—didn't even really question it. Just assumed it all had to do with you getting hurt so bad…but now I'm wondering if it hadn't been happening for a while and we just walked in and caught it in action."_

Jethro ran a hand over his forehead. "Shit," he whispered. "Did…how was she with the kids? Other than disconnected. Was she nice to them? Did she treat them ok?"

"_She was really impatient with Tony—especially once he stopped talking…Shannon would ask him questions, and then when he didn't answer she'd get really frustrated with him. Kelly spoke up a few times about it and Shannon got upset with her. After that happened—and it happened a couple of times—Tony got even quieter. It was like…like his personality even quieted down. And he'd cling to Kelly after that."_

"Did Kelly say anything? Or Tony? Did he draw any pictures about it?"

"_No, neither of them said a word, didn't draw about it or write about it or anything…I just assumed it was them being worried about you…I'm so sorry Son. If I'd known I woulda said something."_

"Not your fault Dad," Jethro said softly. "But it leaves me even more concerned than I was…"

"_Is there anything I can do?"_

"You're already doing it, Dad," Jethro said softly.

_"You shoulda called me when you first noticed a problem,"_ Jack chided gently.

"I know," Jethro said softly.

"_When did you first notice something was wrong?"_

Jethro told his dad about the first night he'd been home when Tony had tried to run away. He told him what the teacher said. Told him about how Shannon had been different ever since then. He told his dad how he and Myra had both tried to talk Shannon into going to therapy and how adamantly she'd refused, citing Jethro and the kids as having problems when she was blameless.

"Dad…you were around…you saw her at the holidays and all…did she…did she ever complain about me being gone? Did she complain about me still being in the service? Do you think me being gone was the cause of all of this?"

"_No she didn't Leroy,"_ Jack said. "_She didn't complain about you at all. In fact, unless we asked about you she really…really didn't talk about you a lot,"_ he finished quietly. _"I don't think you being gone is the cause of this Leroy. If it was then she'd have calmed down when you got home."_

"Shit," Jethro breathed. It should have surprised him more than it did. And he'd hoped it would have made him feel better, but instead it made his gut churn.

"_What_?" Jack asked, puzzled. _"I thought that would have made you feel better?"_

"No," Jethro said softly. "Because it means that whatever is going on is much worse than I thought."

Jethro chatted on the phone with his dad for a while longer. Jack suggested that Jethro sit down with Tony and maybe even Kelly too, and talk to him about what all happened while he was away. He thought Tony might need some reassurances from his daddy that the things that happened while he was gone were not normal, and were not Tony's fault. Jethro thought that sounded like a good idea. He got off the phone, but not before his father made him promise to call either next week or if he needed him—whichever came first.

xxx

After Jethro got off the phone with his dad he sat at the bar in the kitchen for a while, head in his hands, trying to get some inclination from some deity out there as to what he should say, how he should approach this conversation with his kids. And did he dare do it today? Did he have time to do it before Shannon got home? Was Shannon even coming home?

Deciding to take the bull by its horns, Jethro picked up the phone. He called the hospital where Shannon was a pediatric nurse and after a few moments her breathless voice answered the phone.

"_Shannon Gibbs,"_ she said.

"Hi Honey," Jethro said conversationally.

"_Oh. Jethro. Hi,"_ she said, her tone changing.

Jethro tried to ignore the way it made his heart sink. "I know you're busy and don't want to keep you long, but was wondering what your plans for this evening are?"

There was a pause. _"What do you mean honey?"_ she asked sweetly. There must be people around.

"I mean I'm wondering if you're going to go out and get shitfaced tonight or if you're going to come home and be part of our family," Jethro answered back, just as sweetly.

"_You sound like you have a preference,"_ Shannon said tightly.

"I just need to know how much food to make for dinner and what to tell the children their mother is doing tonight," Jethro's tone hardened.

"_I'm going out tonight,"_ Shannon said in a much softer voice.

"Will you be here to tuck the kids in?"

"_Don't plan to be,"_ Shannon said.

Jethro narrowed his eyes and his free hand clenched into a fist. "They miss you," he said simply.

"_Well they missed you for nine months. I don't think anyone can begrudge me taking a little time,"_ Shannon said.

"I'll let you get back to work," Jethro said. "Have a nice evening. Plan to sleep on the couch if you smell like alcohol when you get home."

"_Kiss my ass,"_ Shannon said and hung up the phone.

Jethro let out a long breath and wiped his hands over his face. "That coulda gone better," he muttered to himself.

xxx

That evening, after the dishes were done, the dog was walked, and everyone had their bath, Jethro led the children into the living room. He snuggled them up around him and wrapped an arm around each of them. "I want to talk to you," he said softly.

"Ok Daddy!" Kelly exclaimed. Tony just looked up at him quietly.

"I talked to Grandpa on the phone today, and he was telling me a bit about what it was like while I was gone," Jethro said. "And I wanted to hear from you about what things were like here while I was gone. Can we talk about that?"

"Oh," Kelly said, and her expression turned faintly sick-looking. "I guess so."

"Tony?" What do ya say, Bud? Can you tell me about that?"

Tony looked down at his lap. "I do not want to," he whispered.

Jethro hugged him a little tighter. "Let me make both of you a promise," he said. "Whatever you say will stay between you and me for now. If we need to tell someone later, then we'll do it together. And you will not get into trouble for anything you say. I will not get angry with you. I promise."

"Ok," Kelly said quietly.

"Tony? Can we do this?"

Tony looked up at his daddy and tears filled his eyes. "I do not want to talk about it," he whimpered.

"I'll help you Tony," Kelly said suddenly, all of her reluctance gone. "It might make you feel better."

"I do not think so," he said, his voice so soft that Jethro could barely hear him.

"Hey," Jethro said gently. When Tony's gaze dropped, he put a finger under his chin and lifted his boy's gaze back up. "We are in this together. Remember what I told you? I'm a Marine and I never leave anybody behind. They made me leave you here while I went on deployment, and now we are going to clean up the mess that made. I need you to help me though. I need you to tell me what happened while I was gone. I know things weren't good. Grandpa told me some, but I need to hear it from you ok? You will not get into trouble. I promise."

"I made Mommy mad I think," Tony finally whispered.

"What happened Little Man," Jethro breathed. He kept his arms tightly around his children and glanced at Kelly who was watching Tony too.

"I…I do not know what I did," Tony said, and his voice cracked slightly. "I…I was tryin' a be good…" he shrugged. "I's a bother."

"You are not a bother," Jethro said firmly. "Not to me."

"I am to Mommy," Tony whispered and he sniffled, a tear dripping down his cheek. "She tol' me so."

"What did she say Tony?" Jethro pleaded.

"She…she said," Tony began to cry harder now, and he covered his face with his hands.

"She said he was getting on her nerves," Kelly said quietly. "That if he'd just shut up for a bit, just quit whining and moping, that things would be better…and Tony tried Daddy—he really did try! But he was so sad because you were gone—all of us were—that…he just couldn't be happy. And she got mad."

"Is that what happened Tony?" Jethro asked and Tony nodded. He kissed Tony on top of his head and rubbed his arm. "Did something else happen?"

"When a bullies…at school…when they were being mean to me…Mommy told me I should grow up and learn to be a man—that I should not let those bullies push me around. But she said that she was not surprised that I was a…a pussy because I did not take up for myself," Tony said. "I do not know why she called me that though…I thought a pussy was a cat?"

"It is a cat," Jethro said. He wasn't ready to tell his children the other meaning of that word, so he'd let that slide until they were out of earshot.

"She called me a fraidy cat?" Tony asked.

"Something like that, yes," Jethro agreed. Worked for him. "What did you do when she said that?"

"I did not do anything—what was I apposed a do?"

"I think not doing anything was a good idea," Jethro praised.

Tony got quiet after that. Kelly leaned over and poked him in the leg. "Do you remember how Mommy got mad at you when you couldn't tie your shoes?"

Tony nodded. Of course he remembered—he remembered everything Mommy had done and said while Daddy was gone—he remembered it because it was his fault she was acting that way. He deserved to be punished for his crimes, not comforted. Why was everyone being so nice?

"Can you tell Daddy about that?" Kelly asked him softly.

"I want you to tell me about anything that happened while I was gone. Anything at all that made either of you sad," Jethro instructed. "There is no one here but us. You can talk to me. You will not get into trouble for talking to me."

"I's just learnin how to tie my shoes," Tony said quietly. "I am better at it now, but when you leaved I was just learning."

"I remember that," Jethro said. "You are very good at it now."

"Well one day we was going to go to school and I was trying a get my shoes tied…and she got mad at me cause I was takin' so long," Tony said quietly.

"What happened when Mommy got mad?"

Tony stared at his lap. "I do not want to tell you," he whispered.

"Can I tell him Tony?" Kelly asked. Tony nodded. Kelly looked up at her Daddy. "Mommy made Tony wear my pink sandals to school cause they didn't have ties on them."

Jethro blinked.

"The bullies were really mean to Tony after that. Kept calling him a girl and a wussie and teasing him on the playground and stuff," Kelly said sadly. "It made me mad and I told Mommy to fix it, but she wouldn't—she didn't want to admit that it was her fault the kids was makin' fun of Tony!" Kelly said.

"Did she tell you that she didn't want to admit that?" Jethro asked softly.

"No," Kelly said, "But why else would she do it?"

More stories of shame and humiliation followed. Jethro listened in horror about the way Shannon had spanked Tony at the playground after he didn't immediately come when she called him. There were other parents who had witnessed it and Kelly said they looked really surprised that Mommy had done that. Kelly was horrified by the incident too—Jethro and Shannon didn't ever spank their children. They relied, instead, on other means of discipline and correction if it was necessary. Kelly was more shocked by the spanking than Tony was, by the way they talked about it.

"Tony what happened when you broke your arm?" Jethro asked softly.

"I was playing on a jungle gym with Griffin and I falled off and broke it," Tony said.

"I remember you telling me that," Jethro said. "Sounds like you were very brave. Kelly said you didn't even cry!"

"Crying is what babies do when they get hurt," Tony said.

Jethro was troubled by that statement. He'd never said that to Tony. Not ever. "Where'd you hear that?" he asked.

Tony was quiet and his gaze dropped again.

"He heard it from Mommy, Daddy," Kelly said. "She told him that when he cried when the doctor moved it."

Fury washed over Jethro and he took a deep breath trying to calm it. Unfortunately, Tony noticed before he got himself under control. Tony tried to move away, but Jethro stopped him. "Woah buddy. Woah. I'm not angry at you."

"Yes you are!" Tony exclaimed. "I can tell!"

"No sweet boy, I'm not. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at Mommy for saying something like that."

"But it's true!" Tony said. "Even the kids at school say I'm a big baby!"

"Only the mean kids," Kelly said. "Your friends don't say stuff like that. Do they?"

Tony stilled. "No," he said meekly. "But Mommy got so mad at me when I broke my arm! She was mad at me the whole time I had my cast on!"

"She really was, Daddy," Kelly said. "I don't know why she was so mad. Every time Tony asked for help she'd get angry. Finally, he just quit asking for help. I still helped him, but I helped him even when he didn't ask me for it."

Jethro squeezed his daughter tightly. "You're a good sister Kelly," he praised.

Tony nodded in agreement. "The best."

They were quiet for a long time when Kelly spoke softly. "Tony tell Daddy about your birthday."

"I did not have one this year," Tony said quietly, but there was a questioning tone in his voice.

It was nearing the end of June—Tony's birthday had most certainly already passed. His birthday was on April 5. "I thought your birthday was in April," Jethro said thoughtfully. "I sent you a birthday present and everything! Did I get it wrong?" he asked innocently.

Tony stared up at him. "I did not have a party," he corrected himself softly.

"How come?"

"Mommy said I did not need one," Tony said. "She said that babies do not have birthday parties."

Beside Jethro, Kelly gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. Jethro looked at her curiously. "I didn't know she said that," she breathed. "I didn't know Daddy! I woulda told you!"

"I know Kelly. It's ok," Jethro said. "Listen to me Tony. You absolutely did need to have a birthday party. Every kid—even babies—deserves birthday parties."

Tony's eyes filled with tears and he looked down. "Oh," he said softly, his little voice wobbling. "I guess…I do bad then," he whispered. It never occurred to him that his mother was the one in error here and not him. It never occurred to him that he'd been slighted. And Shannon had let him believe it. That made Jethro even more angry.

"Would you like to have a birthday party?" Jethro asked.

Tony shrugged.

"Because I think we could put together a really fun party for you, if you want one," Jethro said. "Because you did not do bad and you should have had a birthday party."

"But my birthday was a long time ago," Tony protested. "It's almost Kelly's birthday now!" Kelly's birthday was in July.

"Hey Tony?" Kelly said softly.

"Yeah?"

"What if we have a party together for our birthdays?" she looked at Jethro. "Could we do that Daddy?"

"No!" Tony said firmly, shaking his head.

"How come?" Kelly asked.

"Because it is your birthday! You get to have your own party!"

"But what if I want to have my party with you?" Kelly asked.

Tony stared at his sister. "Why?" he asked. "I…I will screw up your birthday. I'm a bother. I will ruin everything!"

Jethro frowned at his son's words. "You. Are. Not. A. Bother," he said firmly. "We love you. You are not a bother to us ok?"

"Ok," Tony mumbled.

"I do NOT want to hear that from you again Tony. We clear?"

Tony's lower lip trembled. "C-Clear Daddy," he whispered.

"C'mere," Jethro said and he lifted Tony into his lap. "What if we have your party a bit early Kelly? So it's not a party for both of you ON your birthday? What if we do it, say, next weekend?"

"That'll be perfect!" Kelly exclaimed. "Tony won't that be fun?!"

"Why are you doing this?" Tony whispered miserably. "Why are you so worried about it? I didn't have a birthday party ever until I was six…"

"Exactly why we're worried about it," Jethro said. "Remember what I said about you deserving parties?" Tony nodded. "Well your other mom and dad made sure you deserve them even more. You should have always had a birthday party. You'll get one this year too ok?"

"Ok," Tony whispered. He was quiet for a long time. "Daddy?" he finally asked softly.

"Yeah bud?"

"Will…if you have to go away again…will you let me go to somewhere else while you are gone?"

"I don't expect to have to go away again like this Tony. If I re-enlist again I might, but I don't know. Where would you want to go?"

Tony shrugged. "I do not know," he said meekly. "But Mommy does not want me here anymore. Maybe I should go somewhere else for all the time?"

"Absolutely not," Jethro said kindly. "This is your home Tony. You live here. And you live here because you are our special boy. Kelly was born to me and Mommy, but you are special because we picked you out and worked hard to get to keep you. I want you to stay here."

"Does Mommy?"

Jethro hesitated, looking at his children. "I don't know, Tony," Jethro said. "Something is wrong with Mommy. I'm not sure what it is. But it isn't because of anything you did or said or anything that Kelly did or said. It's not either of your faults ok?"

Each of the children nodded.

"Now I have another question to ask you," Jethro said. "I will take your answers to this question into consideration when I make my decision."

"What question?" Kelly asked.

"Do you want me to re-enlist in the Marines?"

Kelly stared at him like he was crazy and Tony looked confused. "What does that mean?" Tony asked.

"Yeah Daddy, what does that mean?" Kelly chimed in.

"It means that I wouldn't work for the marines anymore. I would go to work somewhere else. We would have to move to a different house and maybe even a different city. I bet we could pick where we go."

"Would you have to go on deployments anymore?" Kelly asked.

"Nope," Jethro said. "Depending on which job I have I might have to take trips, but not for long months like I have in the past."

"I think you should get out," Kelly said. "And I think we should move closer to Grandma and Grandpa."

Jethro smiled and nodded. "Duly noted," he said. He turned to Tony. "What about you, Short Stuff? What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should do what you think is best," Tony said softly. "Daddy?"

"Yeah Tony?"

"If you have to go away again can I go somewhere else?"

"You already asked me that, didn't you?" Jethro asked patiently.

"Yeah," Tony said sullenly, looking at his lap. "I did."

"Why ask me twice?" Jethro asked.

"You did not answer the first time. You asked me where I was going to go. I do not know where I would go. I only know…" he trailed off, looking frustrated and mildly annoyed.

"You only know what Tony?" Jethro breathed.

"I only know that Mommy doesn't want me and if you are gone I have nobody a care about me except Kelly and she's a kid too."

"Why do you think that?" Jethro asked.

Tony looked at him like he'd grown another head. "Cause she told me she didn't know why you bringed me here inna first place. She told me that she never wanted me and that if it was her choice she would call up Miss Anne…send me…back to a…a foster home…so I could have a…a new family…" he sniffled pitifully.

Jethro wrapped his arms around Tony protectively as the child began to cry. "Listen to me Tony," he said, his voice maybe more gentle than Tony or Kelly had ever heard. "Listen to Daddy…lisssssssten…" Tony finally calmed enough to listen and he flopped his head against his Daddy's shoulder. "Listen to me Tony," Jethro said again. "I am giving you my word. You will not EVER go to another family if I have a choice. I won't let Mommy or anyone else send you back to Miss Anne Joseph. It won't happen. Hear me?"

"B-But if you g-go away?"

"I will fix it so that doesn't happen again," Jethro promised. "I wished you'd told me about these things. Oh my babies I'm so sorry this was so hard for both of you," he hugged both of his children desperately. "I will fix it ok? Both of you need to know that I am your daddy and that is not going to change."

He hugged his children close to him. That woman would pay for the damage she was inflicting on his family. He didn't know what was going on with Shannon, but he was quickly ceasing to worry about it. She was hurting those little people whom God had entrusted to their care and that was NOT ok with him. He would protect them.

Even if it cost him his marriage.

TBC…


	15. Busted

**Author's Note: **Things blew up here, but not in a way I did expected. The big conversation between Jethro and Shannon is coming up next chapter—stay tuned!

_Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Gotgoats, for all your assistance with this chapter._

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 15: Busted****  
**

Jethro put the children to bed that night and sat with each of them until they were asleep. Jethro thought that Kelly was alright, merely shaken by the changes in her mother, but Tony was a mess. Kelly and Jethro both sat with Tony until he fell asleep, still holding onto Kelly's hand. Kelly pleaded with her Daddy to sleep in Tony's room, but Jethro shook his head. He took her to her room and sat with her in her bed until she fell asleep too. Then he got up. He took a shower in an attempt to wash the anger he was feeling off, but it didn't help. The more he thought about the conversations that he'd had today with his dad and with his children, the angrier he became. He got out of the shower and got dressed in his usual sleep pants and white undershirt.

He strolled down to the kitchen and opened the freezer. He found a couple of good cuts of meat and pulled them down to the refrigerator to thaw overnight. It was just getting dark outside and for a moment Jethro considered going to sit on the back porch, but knew that if Kelly or Tony needed him, he wouldn't hear their calls on the back porch. Decision made to stay inside, Jethro picked up his book on Criminal Law and headed to the living room. He was working hard to obtain his degree in Criminal Justice and was so far proving to be an exceptional student. He'd finished his first quarter of classes and was hard at work on his second.

Jethro had just gotten his textbook opened to the right chapter and his notebook opened to a blank page, when the phone rang. He stood with a sigh and walked over to the phone. He figured that if it was Shannon calling him she would have called his cell phone, but he had nothing to back up that thought. He lifted the phone off the hook and raised it to his ear.

"Hello."

"_Good evening. I am looking for a Mr. Leroy Jethro Gibbs."_

"Speaking."

"_Mr. Gibbs I am calling from Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles."_

"Ok? What can I do for you?"

"_We are calling because you are listed as the next of skin for one of our patients, a Mrs. Shannon Fielding Gibbs."_

"Yes," Jethro said. "That's me. Is she alright? What happened?"

"_She was admitted earlier this evening after being in a car accident."_

"Is she alright?" Jethro clenched the phone tighter.

"_She's got minor injuries. She's being treated and released, but she'll need a ride home. She's…"_

"She's what?"

"_She's intoxicated. A police officer is in with her now."_

"Was she driving drunk? Is that why she had the accident?"

"_We have administered several tests to determine whether or not she had been drinking and operating a vehicle."_

"Is she going to be released tonight?"

"_I believe so. She will need a ride home though."_

Jethro let out a long, hard, frustrated breath. "Someone will be up there soon. I have to figure out…something…I have to figure out what to do about the children."

"_We'll let her know that you have been contacted. Let us know when you arrive."_

"Oh believe me," Jethro muttered. "You won't have any trouble knowing when I arrive."

xxx

Myra Tyler had just settled down on her back porch with a cup of coffee, intending to spend her evening being quiet and peaceful, enjoying her time with her husband. She groaned when the phone rang. "Seriously?" she looked up at Adam and stuck her lower lip out.

Adam tossed her the cordless phone and she pressed the button to answer it.

"Tyler residence," she answered pleasantly.

_"Myra it's Jethro,"_ he sounded breathless.

"Jethro what's wrong?"

_"It's Shannon she's in LA and she was in an accident and I got a call from the hospital saying that I needed to come up there since I'm her next of kin and I don't know what to do because I've already got the children in bed and I don't want them to see her like this but she needs—"_

"I'm on my way over," Myra said. She hung up the phone.

Adam looked at her curiously. "What's going on?"

"That was Jethro. Shannon's been in an accident. She's up in LA at the hospital."

"You going to sit with the kids while he goes up there?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Is Maddie still awake?" Adam asked.

"She's in bed but I don't know if she's asleep. Why?"

"Will you take her with you to Jethro's? I'm riding with him. He doesn't need to be alone."

xxx

Jethro was flabbergasted when he opened the door and saw all of the Tylers standing on his porch. Maddie, held by her daddy, was in her nightgown and looking sleepy. Myra and Adam looked worried. "What are you all doing here?" Jethro asked.

"Myra is going to sit with the kids. She's going to put Maddie in bed with Kelly. I'm going to ride with you," Adam said.

Jethro blinked. "Are…are you sure?"

Myra smiled. "Of course we're sure."

"I…thanks," Jethro said. He smiled at his friends.

xxx

A few minutes later, Jethro and Adam were on the road to the Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles. It gave Jethro the shivers to think about having to go to this hospital and this emergency room. It was the same emergency room they'd brought Tony into when his biological father had shot him in the courtroom. The memories hit Jethro almost before they were out of the driveway and he was glad his friend was going with him. He was glad Adam was driving too.

"What's going on with Shannon?" Adam asked. "What did the nurse on the phone say?"

"That there was a car accident. She's got minor injuries and…" Jethro closed his eyes. He ran his hands over his face. "She was intoxicated when she had the accident," he whispered.

"She was drunk?!"

"Yes," Jethro said. "Adam…I swear to God…I don't know what to do. It's all going to hell and I don't know how to make it better."

"Well let's get there and figure out what's going on…we'll take it one step at a time. I'm with ya buddy. I'm on your six." Adam reached over and patted Jethro on the shoulder.

Jethro looked at his friend and let out a long breath. "Thanks," he breathed.

xxx

When they arrived at the hospital, Adam told Jethro to wait for him and they'd go inside together. Adam was determined to not leave his friend at any time. Once the car was parked, they walked inside together. Jethro nearly threw up as the memories washed over him but he forced them down and pushed on.

"Can I help you sir?" The lady at the desk look bored.

"Shannon Gibbs?" Jethro spoke softly. "I'm her husband; I received a call…"

"Let me just check…is that Gibbs with two B's?" she asked.

"Yep," Jethro said.

"Ah. She's been discharged."

Jethro's gut twisted and he blinked. "What?"

"She was discharged from the hospital and taken into custody."

Adam's eyes widened and Jethro's mouth dropped open in shock. "Um…where did they take her?"

The nurse looked at Jethro like he was completely stupid. He felt that way. "Probably to the jail—that's where most people who are arrested go," she said.

"There's no need to get smart," Adam said quietly, but his voice was like iron. "We just drove an hour to get here not knowing what sort of condition his wife was in. You could be a bit nicer."

"Was she brought here by ambulance?" Jethro asked.

The nurse eyed him up and down and shook her head. "She was brought in by a man…a Jay somebody…escorted by a police officer."

Anger washed over Jethro. "Is he still here?"

"No he dropped her off and left. Said she was going to call her husband—that's you—and that's all I heard from her. She went back to be seen not long after that. The guy who brought her in didn't stick around after he heard she wanted to call you."

"Look, can you just tell us how to get to the police department or the sheriff's department or wherever the hell it is she's at?" Adam asked impatiently.

The nurse at the desk gave them directions and they started out the door. Jethro stopped then, and went back. "You said she was taken into custody," he said.

"That's right," the nurse replied.

"Could you tell me…is she ok?"

"Honestly Mr. Gibbs? I'm no doctor. But I'd keep an eye on her if I were you."

"Right," Jethro whispered. "Thanks." He turned and left.

xxx

Shannon shifted slightly. She was seated in the very back corner of a bench on a very small piece of wood. "The tank" as it was referred to by the officers, was full on this particular night. There were deadbeats and hookers, call girls and…well all of the women in the cell with her looked like they could easily chew her up and spit her out. There was another girl in with her earlier who looked just as scared as Shannon felt, but that girl was gone now.

Her head felt like it was about to split open. She'd been taken to the hospital after she'd wrecked the car and hit her head on the steering wheel panel as it flew out. She didn't remember wrecking the car, but she'd apparently t-boned someone else. Shannon felt bad about that, but really they had to understand she didn't do it on purpose—and her driving record was perfect—she'd never had a speeding ticket, parking ticket, NOTHING! Certainly not anything related to drunk driving.

The sound of a ticking clock could be heard, but from where Shannon and the others were located, no one could see the clock. They'd taken her cell phone. She wished she could make a phone call. She'd told the hospital to call her husband, before she realized the police were still there. Fantastic. That'd be another fight. If Jethro even bothered to come up to LA. Really she didn't expect him to come up there, not with the way she'd been treating him. Even if he deserved it, Jethro wouldn't intentionally put himself in the line of fire. Unless he was protecting the children.

Shannon rolled her eyes. The _precious_ children. She'd swear they walked on water. They were so far up Jethro's butt, she wondered if they'd even know she wasn't there tonight. Probably not. Jethro was excellent at running defense for Kelly and Tony. She wondered what lies he was making up. She wondered how long she'd been here. The lights in the cell were too bright and her head was pounding. The doctor told her she had a mild concussion. If a mild concussion hurt this bad, she could just imagine what a severe concussion must feel like. It made her think for a moment of Tony, when he'd gotten shot in the head by his father…fractured skulls were nothing to mess around with and the nurse in Shannon clinically went over all of the symptoms Tony experienced, and cross-referenced them with the symptoms she was currently experiencing.

She found it a bit odd, in her reflections, that when she thought of Tony she felt almost no emotion. It was as though someone had cut her attachment to the boy with a pair of scissors. It was as though he was a complete stranger—and not only that—more like a repulsive stranger. Shannon dealt with strangers and strange children every day in her work. It worried her a bit that she wasn't worried about him. He barely crossed her mind anymore if she was being honest. She knew that in the past she'd had a dreadful soft spot for the child, and she wondered if she hadn't contributed to his dependency on Jethro.

Thinking made her head hurt. She shifted again, and this time the shoulder that had the gash on it grazed the wall and she let out a soft sound of pain.

She wondered about the person she'd t-boned with her car. Well. Stop right there. The cop said Shannon t-boned the car. Shannon was still willing to swear that the other driver pulled out in front of her. The man had been irate when he'd gotten out, yelling and jumping around. He'd gotten a cut on his forehead, but was able to phone the police. Once they'd gotten there, Shannon went to the hospital—along with Jay who was in the car with her. They'd been taken in one of the patrol cars, and the officer had later been the one to arrest her and bring her here.

To the drunk tank.

In the jail.

She was in jail.

Ohhhh holy mother of biscuits, how was she ever going to get out of this? Her career would be ruined, her marriage was likely already ruined, her old friends wouldn't want to associate with her…she wondered if her new friends would.

She was waiting to find out how much her bail was, so she could make her phone call. She already knew she wasn't calling Jethro. There wasn't a lot of money. There was some, but if she had to post bail, she didn't think there'd be enough. They couldn't do a property bond because they didn't own the house they were living in. Shannon figured that her best bet for posting bail would be to call her mother. JoAnne had boatloads of money, surely her mother would help her out of jail? Now if she could just get the dude with the information to come back and get the ball rolling that'd be great.

If she was lucky, she'd be out in time for happy hour tomorrow.

What was she thinking? She was in jail! For drinking and driving! What she was thinking when she got behind the wheel of the car now escaped her too. She knew better! What was wrong with her?! She was a mature, responsible adult. She had a good career, and a good husband, and a good litter of kids—why was she screwing it all up?

"God," she whispered. "I am so fucked up…"

"Join the club baby," one of the other ladies in the tank said. "We all fucked up in here."

"Well I might be fucked up," Shannon said, "But it's not my fault. I've got this husband who's just over-bearing as shit, and these two rugrats at home who are just annoying as hell, and my mother expects all this great and wonderful perfection outta me! I'm human ya know? I'm allowed to goof once in a while!"

"I hear ya girl," the lady said with a chuckle. "You just keep on telling yourself that."

Shannon crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. She wished that magistrate would get her bail set up so she could go home. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. Even though she knew she'd be on the couch tonight…it'd be nice to lie down somewhere.

xxx

JoAnne pawed at her alarm clock trying to shut the offending noise off. When the clock didn't stop its offending racket, she realized it was her phone and quickly picked it up. She didn't recognize the number, but she did recognize the area code. It was California. Must be Shannon.

"Hello?"

"_MOTHER! WHY DID YOU TAKE SO LONG TO ANSWER!"_

"Shannon? Darling you do realize it's only nine in the morning, on a weekend, right? My brain is just not functioning at full capacity ye—"

"_I don't have time for that!"_ Shannon snapped_. "I need you to help me! I'm in JAIL MOMMA! I've been here all night!"_

Of all the phone calls JoAnne was expecting to ever get from her daughter, this was NOT on the list.

"What happened?"

"_I don't have time to explain right now. My bail has been set at $100,000 and we don't have it! Momma I can't stay in jail I'll lose my job! I need help! I only got one phone call and so I called you!"_

"You called me? All the way across the country? Darling your husband is…he's not in jail is he?"

"_Jethro? Why would Jethro be in jail? He's the most boring, responsible person ever!"_

JoAnne had to admit, her daughter was not wrong in her assessment of her husband. Still… "Alright darling alright. Shall I wire the money?"

"_They won't let me do that, I don't think," _Shannon said. _"I think you have to come here."_

"_Time's up," _a voice in the background spoke.

"What?" JoAnne asked.

The phone went dead and JoAnne frowned. She furrowed her brow for another moment then opened her phone back up and dialed Jethro's number. She needed to find out what was going on.

xxx

Jethro frowned in surprise when his phone rang. He glanced at it and his eyes widened. "Why is my mother-in-law calling me at six a.m.?" he asked rhetorically.

"Mother-in-laws are strange creatures," Adam mumbled. He was mostly asleep in the front seat.

The police department experience was one Jethro could do without ever having again. They'd been entirely unhelpful, stating that until Shannon's bail was set no one could do anything. Shannon would get a phone call once that happened, and it was likely she'd call Jethro. Jethro and Adam were then told they could go home or wait outside, but they couldn't sit inside the police department while they waited. That was seven hours earlier. Jethro wanted his bed. He was exhausted and weary with worry and anger. He still could not believe the antics Shannon had pulled this time.

He opened the phone. "This is Gibbs," he answered.

"_Jethro it's JoAnne. Where are you?"_

"Where am I? I'm sitting outside the jail at the LA County Courthouse," he said. "Why?"

"_Because I just got off the phone with my daughter who says she's in jail."  
_

"Yep," Jethro said. "She is. I've been waiting for her call all…wait, you said she called _you_?"

"_That's right,"_ JoAnne said. _"Why did she get arrested?"_

"For drunk driving," Jethro snapped. "Why'd she call you?"

"_Because her bail has been set at a hundred grand and she called to ask me for money,"_ JoAnne said. "_I'm in the process of booking a flight out there now. When did she get arrested?"_

"She was in a car accident around 7:30 last night," Jethro said. "I got the call from the hospital about 9. When I got there she'd been arrested and taken into custody and moved to the jail. I went to the jail and was told I couldn't know anything until her bail was set. When her bail was set they said Shannon would get a phone call. I sat outside in the parking lot all night, assuming that once she got a call she'd call me. Apparently I was wrong."

"_Why weren't you with her?"_

"What do you mean?"

"_In the car accident—or were you? Are you alright?"_

"I wasn't with her because I was at home with our children," Jethro snapped, breathing raggedly. Beside him, Adam woke and watched him carefully.

"_Jethro I'm confused…what's going on?"_

"That's a good damned question," Jethro snapped. "Let me go see if I can find out what's going on. I'll call you back." He snapped the phone shut.

"What's going on?" Adam asked.

"Going to find out what the hell is going on with my wife," Jethro snapped getting out of the car. "I am over this Adam—OVER. IT."

"Wait for me, buddy," Adam said, leaping out of the car behind Jethro. "Don't want you to get yourself arrested."

xxx

"Can I help you sir?" the officer behind the desk asked.

"I was wondering about my wife, Shannon Gibbs," Jethro said politely. "Can you tell me anything?"

The police officer typed for a moment and read the information on the screen. "Mr. Gibbs she is currently waiting for her bail money to arrive. She's made her phone call. It says here she is expecting someone to come with the money soon."

"Any idea who that is?"

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not permitted to give that information out. It is someone Mrs. Gibbs is related to."

"JoAnne," Jethro breathed.

"Mr. Gibbs I am sorry I can't be more helpful."

Jethro nodded. "Not your fault," he said. "Any idea when she'll be released?"

"Not until her bail is posted."

"Right," Jethro said. "That makes sense. So what should I do? Just keep sitting here or—"

"I would recommend going home, Mr. Gibbs. Mrs. Gibbs will be released into the custody of the person who posts her bail."

"So I sat here all night for nothing?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Gibbs. But yes."

xxx

Adam slid behind the driver's seat. Jethro barely had the door closed before he was taking off. "What's the hurry?" he asked.

"Just thought you'd wanna get home," Adam said. "I can slow down if you—"

"No. It's fine." Jethro was silent for a moment then he roughly slapped the dash. "DAMMIT," he roared.

Adam kept his eyes on the road, but nodded, acknowledging to his friend that he was listening.

"SERIOUSLY!" Jethro continued yelling. "THEY LET US SIT THERE ALL DAMN NIGHT!"

"I know buddy," Adam said soothingly. "Let it out."

Jethro spent the next forty-five minutes ranting and fussing. He tried to remain respectful of Shannon and her plight, but the truth was it seemed as though things were spiraling out of control faster than he could adjust himself and the kids to keep up. He finally flopped back against the seat, spent. Adam got off the interstate and guided the car to the local drive thru restaurant. "What's going on?" Jethro asked.

"Thought we'd get pancakes for everyone," Adam said.

"I could make pancakes for everyone," Jethro said.

"You've been up all night. Only thing you're making is your way up the stairs to take a nap. You've got a long day ahead of you."

"I have the kids," Jethro pointed out.

"No," Adam said. "Myra and I have the kids. You can come by around lunchtime and pick them up."

Jethro's mouth dropped open. "But—"

"No buts Jethro. Trust me. You're going to need some rest."

They arrived back at Jethro's house shortly after and Jethro inhaled deeply, smiling at the smell of brewing coffee. Myra looked around, confused. "Where is Shannon?" she asked.

Jethro's gaze darkened. "Oh she's not here yet," he said angrily. He forced himself to calm down. "Where are the kids?"

"Still sleeping," Myra said quietly. "Now tell me what's going on!"

"She's in jail," Jethro spat, disgust evident in his voice. "She was arrested at the hospital."

"WHAT?!" Myra screeched. "WHY?!"

Adam motioned for Myra to keep her voice down. "Drunk driving," he said softly.

Myra gasped. "That's why she was in the accident?" Jethro nodded, his mouth tight. "Well is she alright?"

"Who the hell knows?!" Jethro snapped. "No one will tell me a goddamn thing! But they released her from the hospital so I'm assuming she's not hurt badly."

"Jethro if she's in jail she should get a phone call," Myra said reasonably.

"Oh she GOT a phone call," Jethro grumbled. "Did she call me though? Her husband? Her next of kin? Why HELL no! She called her MOTHER! IN PENNSYLVANIA!"

Myra motioned for Jethro to be quieter and he took a deep breath and nodded. A moment later there was the tell-tale patter of little feet on the steps. A moment after that, Tony stuck his head in the kitchen.

"Daddy?" his voice was nearly a whisper.

"Hey Tony," Jethro said softly. He ran a hand over his face and sank into a chair. "It's early for you to be awake. You ok?" He felt like shit for waking his kid up.

"Yeah Daddy," Tony said softly. "I'm ok. I heared a noise."

"That was me," Jethro said quietly. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's ok Daddy," Tony crawled up in his lap and snuggled up against him. Jethro hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. Tony looked around curiously, wondering why Madde's Mom and Dad were there. "Where's Mommy?" he asked.

Jethro looked up at Myra and Adam who were watching the conversation in barely masked horror. "She's um…she's not home right now son," Jethro answered. He swallowed hard.

"She was not here last night either," Tony said. "Did she go away?"

"She's um…she's taking care of herself a bit," Jethro said. "She might be…busy…for a while."

"Oh," Tony said. "I hope she feels better," the child spoke quietly. "I do not like the way Mommy…I do not like it when she is mean," Tony finally whispered.

"I know buddy," Jethro said, squeezing him again and pressing his cheek to the top of Tony's head. "We'll fix it," Jethro said.

xxx

JoAnne stepped off the plane and looked around. She sniffed in disgust and headed for the rental car kiosk. She hated the smell of LA. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was nearly two in the afternoon. She quickly rented a car and got directions to the police department from the attendant at the desk.

Half an hour later, JoAnne pulled into the parking lot and took a deep breath. She could not believe that she was HERE, at the POLICE DEPARTMENT, bailing out her daughter—her precious Shannon! And for drunk driving!

The process was all quite streamlined, and JoAnne was thankful for that. Within the hour, Shannon's bail was posted, her court date was set, and she was being led from the holding cell where she'd spent roughly the last sixteen hours.

"Mother! Thank you so much!" Shannon rushed up to JoAnne and hugged her. JoAnne remained stiff and frowning. After a moment Shannon took a step back, a confused look on her face. "Mother?"

Jethro and JoAnne had spoken on the phone for the entire length of the drive from the airport to the police department. He'd filled her in only on the basics of what had been going on—how she'd treated Tony during Jethro's deployment, how she'd acted since he returned. How he was concerned about her health because she was being so reckless. He was worried about his wife and at his wit's end. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't mind her taking some time to herself, but he was worried because she wasn't taking care of herself. JoAnne, like Jackson, gently chided the young father for not contacting her for help sooner.

Now JoAnne was left wondering what to do with her daughter. It was obvious that Shannon hadn't been taking care of herself. Her beautiful red hair was stringy and limp, dingy from not being washed. Her eyes were tired with dark circles under them, but they shown with a slightly mad looking glassiness that JoAnne found to be quite disturbing. Her clothes were dirty, her body trembled ever so slightly. In just the two months since she'd last seen her daughter, Shannon had lost weight.

JoAnne realized that Jethro was right to be concerned.

"Come with me Shannon," JoAnne said, and she grasped her daughter's hand as though she were a child.

"Are you taking me home? Thank you so much for getting me out of that horrible place! Mother it was just terrible—they locked me up just like a—a common criminal!"

JoAnne whipped around and stood nose to nose with Shannon. "That's because. you. ARE." she snapped.

Shannon's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Mother! That's a horrible thing to say!" she gasped.

"What else would you have me say?" JoAnne argued. "Would you have me praise you? Tell you what a grand job you've done? _Congratulate_ you on your new _criminal_ record?!"

"I—"

"We have some work to do, young lady," JoAnne said.

"I need to go ho–"

"You will come with me, and you will not argue if you know what is good for you," JoAnne snapped.

Without another word, Shannon got into the car with JoAnne.

xxx

Shannon emerged from the bathroom, a robe wrapped tightly around her. She quickly brushed out her hair and then sat down on the bed. Her mother said that once Shannon had finished her shower, she wanted them to talk. It looked like the time had come for that.

JoAnne sat in the wingback chair in the hotel suite she'd rented.

"You said you wanted to talk," Shannon said quietly. She folded her hands on her lap and stared at them. She felt quite a bit like she was a teenager again.

"I do want to talk," JoAnne said. "I am concerned about you. I want to know what's been going on."

"I really don't think there's anything to talk about," Shannon said quietly.

"I think you don't make it a habit of getting arrested," JoAnne said, not unkindly. "You've never been one to get into trouble, Dear. What's going on?"

Shannon took a deep breath. Her eyes filled with tears and her lower lip trembled. JoAnne moved over to the bed next to Shannon. She wrapped an arm around her daughter's thinning shoulders and pulled her close. "I don't know what's wrong with me Momma," Shannon whispered. "It's like…I know I'm screwing up…I KNOW it…but I…I just…I don't care," Shannon shrugged miserably. "And I don't know why that is." She began to cry then, pitiful heart-wrenching tears—and they didn't stop. Shannon sobbed and sobbed, crying pitifully on her mother's shoulder until, exhausted, she finally fell asleep.

JoAnne gently laid Shannon back on the bed and pulled a blanket over her. "Oh my dear," she said softly. "We'll get you the help you need," she promised her sleeping daughter. "Just leave everything to me."

xxx

Jethro hung up the phone and let out a long sigh. JoAnne had called to tell him that she'd gotten Shannon out of jail and they were currently in a hotel in Oceanside. Shannon had opened up some to her mother and JoAnne was making her a doctor appointment for that day if possible. She wanted to have Shannon seen by a doctor.

"_I'm worried about her," JoAnne had said. "She's…I don't know what she is Jethro, but she's not in her right mind. I'm concerned."_

Jethro agreed with JoAnne's observation and decided that he'd wait until after the doctor had seen Shannon to have a conversation with her. He'd discussed his plan to talk to Shannon with JoAnne. Shannon's mother agreed that it might be better to have Shannon evaluated by a doctor before any potentially…exciting conversations took place. JoAnne didn't know what was wrong with Shannon, but she would do everything she could to protect her daughter—to make sure she was safe and of strong enough body, to endure the wrath of her husband which she had brought upon herself. JoAnne would support her daughter, but she had never been one to let her shirk any consequences for her actions. This time would be no different. Jethro was upset and had every right to be. She could tell on the phone with him that he wasn't telling her everything—that he was trying to protect Shannon and her reputation.

What Jethro did not know, was that Jackson had come for dinner not too long ago and had shared his concerns with her. They'd talked late into the night about the changes they'd seen in Shannon during their visits over the last year. They talked about possible causes and possible solutions. They'd each grumbled about their children being too independent for their own good. Just because someone was an adult didn't mean they didn't need support—that they didn't need their parents.

Jackson had asked JoAnne to let the kids come to her before intervening. Jack felt like Jethro might feel betrayed if he knew that Jack had gone to JoAnne. JoAnne understood that.

She also understood that she would do whatever necessary to protect the children. All of them. Including their parents.

Even if she had to protect them from themselves.

xxx

Jethro carefully poured the melted butter over the popcorn he'd just made. It was raining outside so Jethro had suggested an afternoon watching movies at home. They'd watched a movie before dinner, and after dinner were now eating popcorn and watching another. Jethro gave the children each a choice of movie to watch. Before dinner they'd watched Kelly's special feature, Beauty and the Beast. Tony didn't particularly like that movie, so he'd spent much of it on the couch, safely snuggled in between Jethro and Kelly. While the beast rampaged and roared, Tony kept his eyes focused on the pad of paper in his lap. He was content to draw and not watch, but still be part of the group. They'd eaten a simple dinner of hamburgers and potato chips, and were now watching Tony's movie choice—Pinocchio. There was something about that movie that really sat well with Tony—the story of a puppet who wanted nothing more than to be a real boy and have a real family. It reminded him of his old self—how awful he'd felt all the time, how he'd never really felt like he had a place…and how he'd found his family and become a real boy. It made Tony happy to watch Pinocchio's story. Jethro and Kelly were happy to indulge him.

They were just getting to the part where Pinocchio met J. Worthington Foulfellow and Lampwick when the phone rang. Jethro ruffled both kids' hair and stood up, hurrying to the phone. JoAnne had promised to call him when she and Shannon finished at the doctor's.

"Hello?"

"_Good evening Jethro it's JoAnne calling."_

"Hi," Jethro said. He hadn't mentioned JoAnne being in town to the children. To his relief and his dismay, however, Kelly hadn't asked where Shannon was at all, and Tony hadn't mentioned her again. It seemed they were adapting to Shannon being gone. It worried Jethro that Shannon had been away enough to allow the kids to adapt to not having her around. "What'd you find out?"

"_We saw Shannon's physician,"_ JoAnne reported. _"Her doctor seems to think that Shannon is experiencing a rather severe midlife crisis. She has referred Shannon to a psychologist."_

"A midlife crisis? That's it? But wait…we aren't even middle aged yet…how does that work?"

"_It is possible for women in their thirties to have the onset of a midlife crisis. For most women it affects them in their career-lives, however, given the situation that Shannon has found herself in these last months, her doctor believes that the stress of the deployment has triggered this for her."_

"I don't think it's any excuse for what has gone on here…especially while I was away," Jethro said.

"_We'll know more after we meet with the psychologist. That appointment is tomorrow morning. Her doctor is most concerned and wanted to get her in as quickly as possible."_

"Should I plan to come?"

"_I think not to the first visit. It's mostly to evaluate Shannon and see where she is and what is going on with her."_

"I need to talk to her," Jethro said.

"_I agree. What about tomorrow after lunch? You could come here. You could either bring the children or—"_

"I don't trust her around the children," Jethro said quietly. "She's being too reckless and I…I just can't take the chance…I want to talk to her first. Alone."

"_I…I understand Jethro,"_ JoAnne said.

Jethro chatted a couple of minutes more with JoAnne then got off the phone. He checked on the children and when he was satisfied that they were both alright, he picked up the phone and dialed the Tyler's house.

"_Tyler's Residence,"_ Myra answered.

"Hey Myra it's Jethro. Have you got a minute?" Myra was a nurse in the same hospital where Shannon worked. Surely she could help explain this to him. He didn't understand it.

"_Sure hon, what's up?"_

He quickly relayed the information JoAnne had given him to Myra, expressing his confusion as he went along. "I just don't understand how all of a sudden she can go from this wonderful, awesome, perfect wife, to this…this mean spirited, abusive woman who's hurting our kids," Jethro said. "I don't even know what a midlife crisis is, other than people who are middle aged go kind of crazy."

"_You know Jethro that diagnosis actually makes some sense, but it seems really severe…a midlife crisis can affect a person in different ways—it can be very mild and the person only calls in to work a couple of times—plays hooky if you will—or it can be more severe. Shannon's sounds more severe…there might even be something else going on with it that's making it worse. Is she seeing a counselor?"_

"Her mother's taking her to one tomorrow," Jethro said quietly. "I'm going to talk to her afterwards. But…I need to know what I'm walking into."

"_Well I can help with that a bit. If Shannon is having a midlife crisis then you are going to notice changes in her behavior."_

"No shit," Jethro snorted. "Got that covered."

"_Her sleeping habits might change, her eating habits…has she still been going to work?"_

"As far as I know?" Jethro said. "She hasn't mentioned missing work."

"_Ok well if she does start to call in sick to work, that shouldn't surprise you. There might be changes in your relationship with her, changes in the relationship she has with the kids too. And I think we're seeing some of that."_

Jethro felt sick. "Yeah," he said. "JoAnne mentioned that her doctor thinks the deployment is what caused it. What do you think?"

"_I don't think the deployment was the only cause,"_ Myra said. _"I think that it maybe didn't help, but I think this probably would have happened regardless. It isn't your fault Jethro."_

"Feels like my fault. If I'd been here to support her…if I'd not had to leave, maybe this wouldn't have happened. I feel like I let everyone down Myra."

xxx

The next morning Shannon woke up in a huff. "I don't understand why you won't let me go home," she complained to JoAnne. "I'm FINE Mother! I'm not drunk anymore, my headache is almost gone, I've had a night's sleep and a shower—why won't you let me go home?"

"You have another appointment this morning Shannon, you know that," JoAnne told her.

"Why are you treating me like a child?" Shannon snapped.

"Why are you acting like one?" her mother shot back.

"I don't know why you think you can just come down here and run my life!" Shannon shouted.

"The way I see it," JoAnne's tone cooled considerably. "If I hadn't come down here you'd still be sitting in jail with all your new little friends," she snipped. "All those hookers and whores you were sitting with? You'd still be with them if it weren't for ME. So if I were YOU I'd be damn grateful that I care enough to come rescue you. And to pay me back for the $100,000 you just cost me, you WILL do what I tell you to do until you get your head out of your ass and start behaving like the daughter I raised. We clear?"

Shannon knew when she was beaten. She knew when to shut her mouth. "Crystal," she said softly.

xxx

Dawn O'Riley welcomed Shannon and her mother into her office. She'd been a practicing social worker psychologist for fifteen years and in that time had seen a great variety of people and cases. She wore black dress pants with a maroon shirt, off-set by her colored blond hair and wire frame glasses.

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice," JoAnne said kindly, shaking the doctor's hand as they entered the office. "And thank you for allowing me to join you for the session."

"It's my pleasure," Dawn said. "Shannon it's nice to meet you too."

Shannon rolled her eyes and stared out the window, refusing to sit down.

Dawn guided Shannon through a series of exercises, one to determine her personality type, one to determine her enneagram number, others to determine if she was feeling anxious, manic or depressed. Once the tests were finished, Dawn asked Shannon one blunt question.

"So tell me why you're here?"

Shannon blinked. "I'm here because my mother made me come!" she exclaimed. "I didn't want to come. I don't need therapy. I don't need any help. I am just fine! I keep telling her—and everyone else that! Why does everyone think I'm not?"

"You tell me," Dawn said gently. "Tell me what's been happening."

"With me?" Shannon asked. When Dawn nodded, Shannon took a deep breath. "I've spent the last year trying to hold my family together," she snapped.

"Have you been having marital problems?" Dawn asked gently.

Shannon snorted. "It's hard to have marital problems when your marriage is on the other side of the world," she said snarkily.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Dawn said. Shannon noticed that for someone who wasn't understanding what she was saying, she sure did write a lot.

"You write a lot for someone who doesn't understand," Shannon snapped. "Makes me nervous."

"Why does me writing make you feel nervous?"

"I just feel like a bug under a microscope," Shannon muttered.

"You didn't answer my question," Dawn said. "I don't understand what you meant when you said your marriage is on the other side of the world."

"It's not now," Shannon said. "But it was. My husband is a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps. He was on deployment for nine months this year."

"Ahhh and how did the deployment go?" Dawn asked.

"Fine," Shannon snapped. JoAnne snorted. "What?!" Shannon whipped around to look at her mother.

"I hardly call emotionally abusing your son and your husband nearly dying in an explosion 'fine'," JoAnne said.

"A…bus…ing…Mother what has Jethro told you?"

"What makes you think it was Jethro who told me anything?" JoAnne asked.

"Ladies let's talk this through," Dawn said calmly. "Now JoAnne, those are some pretty serious accusations you're making there."

"They aren't accusations," JoAnne said calmly. "They're observations."

"When did you observe Shannon behaving in this manner?" Dawn asked.

"While Jethro was away, I overheard you on several occasions—at Thanksgiving when we came to visit, at Christmas when you came to visit, and in April when we came out again—speaking to Tony in an unkind way—being impatient and angry with him because he was quote, so helpless, because of his broken arm. I recall you telling him to quote, suck it up ya big baby,' and I recall you saying to him just after we received the visit from the Marines about Jethro's status, that if you had your way about it you'd send him back to the foster home. For a child with an abandonment issue, this is pretty serious stuff. And for it to be coming from you—who jumped me two Christmases ago about my reluctance to get excited about the arrival of the new child—seems pretty outlandish to me. You haven't been acting yourself. Kelly's noticed. I've noticed. Tony's absolutely noticed. Jackson's noticed. And now Jethro is noticing. The only one who does NOT seem to be noticing how odd your behavior is…is you Shannon," JoAnne said.

"Shannon do you recall saying those things to your child?" Dawn asked.

"Yes," Shannon snapped.

"Do you feel that the statements you made to your child were accurate? Did you mean what you were saying?"

"About wanting Tony to suck it up and quit whining and bitching because his _precious daddy_ was gone? I absolutely meant it!"

"Do you feel like you are a danger to your children?"

Shannon froze. "What?" she asked softly.

"Do you feel like you are a danger to your children?" the shrink repeated.

"I…no," she whispered. "I wouldn't hurt them! I love them! Why would I hurt them? They're my whole life!"

"If you love them so much," Dawn asked kindly, "then why would you say things to intentionally hurt them?"

"I…" Tears filled Shannon's eyes. "I think I'm going crazy," she whispered. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. "It's like one minute I know how things need to go and I know what needs to happen to do it…and the next…the next it's like my give-a-damn just goes away. I want to do what I want to do. But I love being married to Jethro—I've been married since I was twenty years old. He's a wonderful husband! And he…he almost died this spring…he was…there was an explosion…I've been a mother since I was twenty-seven years old. I've never gotten to be on my own and do things my way before! I never got to live!"

"And why is that?"

"Because Jethro wanted to get married! It's his damn fault!"

"Shannon…" JoAnne glanced at the shrink, wondering if she'd just seen the change in her daughter's behavior. Lightning fast. Literally between one breath and the next Shannon had gone from contrite to attacking Jethro. No wonder the poor man was at his wit's end trying to figure her out!

"Now wait a minute," Dawn said. "You said you got married at age twenty."

"That's right," Shannon said.

"Ok and who made you get married?"

"I…Jethro proposed…I said yes," Shannon said.

"Can you explain how he forced you to get married?"

"He didn't force me to; I wanted to! I just—"

"Then why are you placing blame on your husband for getting married, if you said you wanted it?"

"You're trying to confuse me," Shannon growled.

"Shannon I am trying to understand what's going on with you," Dawn said gently. "Now you mentioned an explosion."

"Yes," Shannon whispered.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Jethro…his unit was deployed. There was an explosion where he was working…he nearly died," Shannon choked out. "I almost lost him. Ev..everything changed…the marines came to visit…to tell me what had happened…and it was like…something broke inside of me. I couldn't function. I couldn't deal with the kids. I still don't want to. I get so angry and I don't know why…I don't know what to do…I really think I am going crazy."

Dawn smiled. "I don't think you're crazy," she said. "I think I can help you. Will you let me?"

TBC…


	16. Breakdown

**Author's Note:** Ok so I maybe wasn't completely forthcoming with all of Shannon's problems in the last chapter. We'll see more this chapter, along with lots of angst, oh and some whump ;) Enjoy, my lovelies!

_Special thanks to Gotgoats, my wonderful beta. You are the bestest ever. Love you lots! _

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 16: Breakdown****  
**

Dawn O'Riley agreed with Shannon's doctor that she was experiencing a midlife crisis. She was also not certain, but believed Shannon may be suffering from either an Adjustment Disorder or a Mood Disorder as well. She was concerned that Shannon was not really displaying symptoms of depression or anxiety…she wanted to continue seeing her in the coming weeks and try to get at the bottom of what was going on. It was fairly clear that Shannon was having problems before Jethro's explosion, but had experienced some sort of psychic or mental break, making her problems even worse, when she got the news that Jethro had nearly died. Dawn felt like she could help Shannon…but Shannon had to be willing to help herself first.

JoAnne watched her daughter as she slept. They'd returned to the hotel room once Shannon's session with the counselor had ended. She was greatly troubled by what Dawn had to say. Dawn was not certain that Shannon was not a threat to herself. She was concerned about her reckless behavior. She'd referred Shannon to a doctor in the office who could prescribe her some medications to assist her in her recovery, but Shannon had only snorted and thrown them back in her face. JoAnne had retrieved the prescriptions before leaving though, and assured the doctor that Shannon would take the medications.

Dawn was also concerned about the way Shannon's moods were changing so rapidly. One minute she was happy, pleasant, appealing…the next minute she was ranting and angry. She wasn't sure it was safe for her to be left alone with the children for the time being. She didn't think they needed to keep Shannon away from them, but she was quite firm in noting that she didn't need the…_stress_…of having the children by herself. She was just too unpredictable.

Once they'd arrived back at the hotel Shannon had asked for a nap. She said she was tired. JoAnne knew she was also angry. She wondered if she was avoiding.

JoAnne glanced at the clock. Nearly two. Jethro was supposed to arrive at the hotel at two o'clock. She chuckled when, at that moment, there was a soft knock on the hotel suite's door. She stepped up to the door, took a deep breath and opened it. She forced a smile to her face. "Jethro," she said pleasantly. "Hi there. Come in."

Jethro stepped in the room. JoAnne glanced around the hallway. "Are the children—"

"With our friends," Jethro answered. "They're fine. Safe and all that." He looked tired.

JoAnne smiled. "You're doing a good job," she assured him.

Jethro smiled. "Thanks." He looked around. "Where is she?"

"She's asleep," JoAnne said.

Jethro snorted. "Must be nice."

"What do you mean?" JoAnne asked gently.

Jethro shook his head. "Well first it was me spending the night in the parking lot at the jail. I dozed here and there—but really didn't sleep. Kept waiting on the phone call. Then last night there was the children," he murmured quietly. "They aren't coping very well at night. They're alright during the day but when bedtime comes…well there's been so many changes lately—me being gone, coming home, Shannon being home some nights and gone others, they've slept at the Tyler's house; their schedules are horribly off routine and they…they miss their Mommy. Sure they like having me around, but…" he shrugged one shoulder, "I'm not the same. I don't replace her and I don't want to. They've gone from one extreme to the other. And when they don't sleep, I don't sleep. I can't just leave them to themselves all night."

"Sure you can," came a sleepy voice from across the room. JoAnne fought down the urge to cringe. She could tell by the tone of voice just "which Shannon" had awakened from her nap. "Just go to bed and close the door! Tony's like a little trained dog, he won't bother you if you tell him to leave you alone! And Kelly would sleep through the apocalypse!"

JoAnne was standing between Jethro and Shannon and the energy crackling between them was almost painful. She looked from Jethro—who was standing with his mouth open and his eyes wide—to Shannon who was propped up on an elbow in the bed, sleepy looking, but with a snarky grin on her face. Shannon's mother had the momentary thought that she should pull Jethro aside—perhaps out into the hallway—and explain what Dawn O'Riley had told them earlier.

She didn't get the opportunity.

Jethro stormed past her with the force of an F-5 tornado and was in Shannon's space before the woman could even get out of bed. "What did you just say?" his voice rumbled in the back of his throat like thunder on a distant prairie.

Shannon looked up at him from hooded lids and an evil smirk on her face. "Which part?" she asked, her sweet tone belying the venom dripping from her tongue. "The part about Tony being a little trained dog?" she asked innocently. "Surely you aren't surprised by that observation," her tone turned casual. "After all Jethro, you're the one who trained him!"

The urge to strike his wife overwhelmed him and he stood up straight, and took a step backwards to resist before he did something he would regret. His hands clenched into fists. His face twisted into a sneer. "So this is what a midlife crisis looks like?" he asked, his tone exceedingly gentle. He was surprising himself with his self control.

Shannon frowned.

"This?" Jethro held out an open palm, indicating his wife, still on the bed. "This—_pitiful_—excuse of a _wife_—this—_mockery_—of a _mother_. THIS—_This_ is who I'm married to," he snapped. His eyes narrowed. "What the hell happened to you? Who are you and what have you done with my wife? Because the Shannon I know—the Shannon I married—the Shannon who is the MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN…" Jethro shook his head in disgust. "That Shannon is gone."

"Well THIS Shannon," the fiery red head spoke, rising off the bed, "has had enough of your shit! Who the fuck do you think you are—coming to MY hotel room—and attacking me!"

"Let me give you some room then," he snapped, even as he retreated to the other side of the room. "I wouldn't want you to feel attacked. Wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable. Wouldn't want you to feel as though your emotions were being trampled on. I wouldn't want to make you feel like you've made _our children_ feel."

JoAnne stepped forward. She'd known this conversation was likely to be…explosive…but she hadn't been counting on this. She'd never seen either of them act like this and it was a bit disturbing. "My dears," she spoke softly. "Can't we talk…without yelling at each other?" She was sure that Shannon was heckling Jethro on purpose—pushing his buttons, attacking his weak points because she herself was feeling vulnerable as well.

"I'd like to talk," Jethro said. "I came here to talk. I didn't come here to fight." He looked at Shannon. "I came here because I love you and because I am worried about you. I want to help you," he said, forcing his voice to gentle.

Shannon stared at him. She wrapped her robe tighter around herself and stepped right up to him. "Did you have a nice vacation?" she asked, her voice like ice. "Did you have a nice time away with all of your friends traipsing around while I was at home with the children? Did you have a nice time while I was getting visits—from Marines—about YOU—and about how you nearly DIED?!" Tears filled her eyes and she raised the back of her hand to cover her mouth. "I don't want your help. Fuck you. Get out of here. Go on! GO!"

"That's enough Shannon," JoAnne snapped. She looked at Jethro whose face was a mixture of anger, hurt, and betrayal. His mouth opened and closed like a fish and he blinked at his wife—was this really his wife?—in shock. JoAnne stepped in front of Jethro and looked sadly up at him. She knew how much he was struggling each day—he had his own issues left over from this deployment. Anyone who was paying even the smallest bit of attention could see that. "Jethro Darling," she said kindly, taking care not to touch him. "Jethro let's go now. Come on," she herded him towards the door.

"Jethro?" Shannon's tone was different now. She sounded more like herself. "Jethro wait…wait…Jethro I didn't mean it…"

JoAnne put herself between them once again. "You shut your mouth Shannon," she snapped. "You've put your husband through enough for one day. Let him leave. Let him have his peace. It's enough." She turned to Jethro again. "Come on Sweetheart," she said, continuing to herd Jethro out the door. "Come on. It's alright." She opened the door and followed him outside. "I am so sorry," she apologized. "I know I didn't do this, but…Jethro you've got to understand two things. First—Shannon is ill. Her doctor thinks she may have had some kind of break after she got the news about you." Jethro looked slightly sick. "And second—Jethro honey, I think…you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself. Are you doing that?"

"I don't…" Jethro leaned against the wall and covered his face with his hands. "I don't even know," he whispered, his voice cracking. He was nearly to his breaking point. "I'm doing everything I can…I…I just don't know…don't know what to do…"

JoAnne was going to ask Jethro to go to the pharmacy for her and get Shannon's prescriptions filled. But this…looking at this poor man in front of her…she couldn't ask him to help her. She couldn't ask anything of him. He was barely holding it together. "Are you alright to drive?" she asked quietly.

Jethro sniffled suspiciously, bent at the waist and hands still over his eyes. "Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah I'm fine."

"You aren't," JoAnne said gently. "But for now I'll let you go. Do me a favor?" She saw the way his shoulders sagged at her words.

"Yeah?" he spoke quietly.

"Go home Darling," she said quietly. "Hug the babies. Tell them how much you love them. Keep them safe. And get some rest. You look like a stiff wind would blow you over."

Jethro looked up at her, not bothering to hide the tears in his eyes. "I don't know how to fix it," he said, slightly desperately. He looked between his mother-in-law and the door to the hotel room and back again. "JoAnne please…please understand…I want to make this better…I want to fix it…but I don't know how…I don't know what to do?" Joanne was struck by how…frighteningly distraught he sounded.

JoAnne opened her arms, and was surprised when Jethro all but collapsed into them. She held her son-in-law close and ran a hand over the back of his head. "We'll fix it. May I call your father?" she asked gently.

Jethro pulled back and wiped his eyes with his hands. "I don't know," he said. "He's got the shop—he was just down here a couple of months ago…there's…money's…I don't know if he can afford it," he mumbled. He wanted his dad close more than anything, but he wouldn't cause his father to short himself or to lose money because of him—not when money was tight to start with.

JoAnne could see on Jethro's face how badly he needed his father to be close. "Alright," she murmured. "Alright. We'll fix it. We'll figure it out. You get home and love those babies. That's all I want you to do."

"I…I can do that," he whispered. "I can do that."

"I'll be in touch, Sweetheart. Call me if you need me ok?"

Jethro nodded, and without another word, turned and walked away. He didn't look back, and JoAnne couldn't help but wonder if she'd just witnessed the end of a marriage…the death of a wonderfully sweet love.

She hoped not, but she didn't see how the damage done could possibly be repaired.

xxx

Jackson was just locking up his shop when he heard the phone inside ring. For an instant he thought about ignoring it—everyone knew he closed at six o'clock—but his gut twisted at the sound and he found himself unlocking the door. He dove for the phone and answered it.

"Stillwater General Store," he said.

"_Jack it's JoAnne." _

"Hi JoAnne. What can I do for ya?"

"_I have booked you a flight to LA. I will pick you up at the airport. I will compensate you for money you lose at the store. I need you here." _

"What? What's going on? When did you go to LA? How come no one called me? What time is my flight?"

"_Your flight leaves in three hours,"_ JoAnne said. "_That gives you some time to get things together and get to the airport. The kids need us Jack. Everything's falling apart."_

"What's going on?"

"_I don't have time to explain it all right now,"_ JoAnne said. _"But things here are not good. I need your help. Jethro needs your help."_

Jack picked up a pen and piece of paper. "Alright," he said. "Give me the flight information. I'm coming."

xxx

JoAnne hung up the phone. As soon as Jethro had left, JoAnne had taken the bull by the horns—she'd called up the airline and booked a flight, and called Jackson to get him on his way here. Relieved knowing she had backup on the way gave her an inner-strength to do whatever was necessary to protect her family. She took a deep breath, straightened her spine, squared her shoulders, and headed back into the hotel room.

Shannon was pacing the room, a frantic expression on her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Compared to the quiet, desperate sorrow that she'd seen on Jethro's face just moments earlier, this looked like a vulgar imitation. "Momma!" Shannon wailed.

"Sit down," JoAnne snapped. "And close your mouth. I don't want to hear anything you've got to say."

Shannon plopped down into the nearby chair. She looked scornful, as though someone had wronged her.

"What the hell was that?" JoAnne asked.

"What the hell was what?" Shannon asked quietly.

"That shit you pulled with Jethro. What the hell was that?"

"I don't know," Shannon said, looking at her lap. "He was—"

"He wasn't doing anything! He came here to try and fix things wit you! Don't you dare blame him for anything that happened! You made this mess all by yourself!"

"HE was attacking ME!" Shannon yelled.

"HE had not even SPOKEN to you when YOU attacked HIM!" JoAnne retorted. "Did you not listen to anything that was discussed today? Did you not listen to your doctors at all?"

Shannon shrugged a shoulder and didn't look her mother in the eye.

"Well I was listening to them," JoAnne snapped. "I was listening when your doctor said that she was concerned about you being alone with your children, and about how she was concerned about your mood changes. I had my doubts—until now. You've really proven to me that the doctor was not wrong. You're out of control. Your behavior is unacceptable."

"You don't get to judge me," Shannon snapped. "You don't know what it's like…you don't know what I've been through."

"I don't know what it's like. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE. I most certainly DO. Know. What. It's. like. You selfish girl," JoAnne spat.

Shannon's father had died unexpectedly in a tragic accident when Shannon was only seventeen. JoAnne had been nearly crippled with grief for months until she'd gotten her feet under her again and put her life back in order.

"Your husband didn't die," JoAnne said. "He came back! And he's alright! Or he was until you flayed him wide open with those horrible things you said. Really Shannon, what were you thinking? That man almost died protecting his country, and you're giving him shit about being gone? You are mocking his service to this country—and mocking his service to his family—by chiding him about being on vacation? HE WAS IN A WAR ZONE! HE BLEW UP! Can you not look at him and see that he's struggling? That he's barely able to put one foot in front of the other? And you're off gallivanting around, drinking and partying, getting arrested for God's sake! What is your problem! You made a vow that you would stand beside him and help him when things are good and when things are bad. Well I'm here to tell you right now, Missy—THINGS IN YOUR HOUSE ARE BAD AND YOU ARE THE REASON FOR IT!"

Shannon's eyes flashed with anger, but she did not speak. Her hands clenched into fists and she stood up.

"Oh are you going to hit me?" JoAnne said. "Are you going to get up in my face? Because I will tell you—if you threaten me—if you act to me the way you acted to your husband just now? I will have you committed. Your career will be over, your marriage probably IS over, and you will have NOTHING left but your attitude. Do you really want to go there with me?"

Shannon blinked and sat back down. "Mother I…"

"Save it. Now. We are going to go to the Pharmacy. And we are going to get your prescriptions filled. And YOU are going to take them. And if you don't take them then we are going to go to the hospital and they will MAKE YOU take them. Do you understand me?"

"I understand," Shannon said quietly. She let out a long breath. "Momma?"

"What."

"Thanks."

xxx

Jethro pulled into the driveway and let out a long breath. He thunked his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He was tired. No. Beyond that. He was exhausted. He hadn't had a full night's sleep in months. Even when the kids were gone, something kept him awake—either worrying about them or hurting one. He hurt all the time now. His shoulder and his knee…he wasn't supposed to be lifting anything heavy even now…but Tony…Tony needed him. Tony needed to snuggle sometimes and he needed to feel safe. If Jethro could give him that then he would. Knee and shoulder be damned.

He worried about Shannon. That woman he saw today…that wasn't the sweet, caring, compassionate person he'd fallen in love with. This woman was angry and spiteful. She was hateful just because she could be. He was glad JoAnne had come—he didn't want to think of what it would be like for the children if Shannon was home like that.

A noise outside the car drew his attention. Kelly was standing at his window, peering in at him and he startled badly. He wondered how long she'd been standing there, and was horrified with how distracted he must be in order for her to get so close. It could have been anyone that did that! He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Then he opened the door. _Get ahold of yourself Marine._

"Hey Kellybug," Jethro said, forcing a smile to his face.

"Did I scare you Daddy?" Kelly looked concerned.

"Snuck up on me a bit is all," he tugged lightly on a braid. "Having fun?"

"Yeah me and Maddie's mom came back here to go to the bathroom, but Tony and Maddie are up at the playground still with Maddie's dad."

Ever since Pedro Hernandez had abducted and murdered all of those girls, dumping them in the sandbox at the playground, it was rare to see children playing without parents nearby.

"Do you want to come to the playground with us Daddy?" Kelly asked. Jethro blinked and forced his brain to concentrate on his daughter.

"I um…I'm gonna run inside real quick…need to make a phone call and then I'll come ok? You go on back up with Maddie's mom."

"Ok Daddy!" Kelly hugged him tightly and then ran off.

Myra stepped out of the house a moment later. "Oh! Jethro! Hey!" she stepped over to where he was slowly getting out of the car. "You ok?"

Jethro nodded. "Fine." He couldn't admit to anyone how badly things were messed up between him and Shannon.

"How did it go with Shannon?" Myra asked quietly.

"She um…she's staying with her mom," Jethro responded. "I think…maybe that's best."

Myra pulled him into a hug, but he remained stiff, unable to accept comfort right now. Myra pulled back and looked at him. "This is not your fault Jethro," she said firmly. "You hear me?"

Jethro nodded, but Myra didn't know if he believed her or not. "Go get yourself pulled together Sweetie," Myra said gently. "And then come up to the playground and we'll talk. We'll figure it all out ok?"

"Yeah," Jethro said. "Won't be long."

He hurried inside the house and locked the door behind him. He leaned against his front door and slowly slid down, knees tucked up tight against his chin, and he buried his head in his lap. He cried quietly for a few moments, grieving the perfection he'd left behind for this deployment. After a few minutes he took a shallow, ragged breath, and pushed himself up off the floor. His knee felt like it pulled more than normal and he groaned loudly in pain. He limped badly over to the couch and collapsed down on it. He pulled out his cell phone and tried to refocus his thoughts and push the pain in his leg down. He blinked several times, trying to get his eyes to focus on the phone, and dialed the number for his Dad's shop.

The phone rang and rang, but he received no answer. Jethro snapped the phone shut. "Dammit," he grunted. He glanced at the clock and realized that it was past closing time for the store. Jack would be home by now. Jethro decided to take a shower and call his dad afterwards. He stood up and headed for the stairs, grimacing and groaning every step of the way and leaning hard on furniture as he went. He made it halfway up the stairs before he realized his phone was still on the couch.

"Goddammit," he muttered.

He turned to go back down the stairs, but it felt like his knee slid out of place when he did. With a gasp of pain, Jethro fell, rolled down the stairs, and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom.

xxx

Jethro blinked his eyes open slowly and wondered what happened. He was at the bottom of the stairs. He'd fallen. He shifted slightly and knives of fire stabbed through his knee and his leg. "Shit," he grunted softly, panting through the pain. He had to get help but he couldn't even get up. After some effort, he managed to get himself out of the crumpled ball he'd landed himself in, and rolled to his back, taking several deep breaths. His shoulder hurt too, but not nearly as bad as his knee. His knee would need surgery. He'd been putting it off for a while, but he remembered feeling something tear just before he fell.

He knew he needed to get help, but he was exhausted both physically and mentally. He wasn't thinking clearly, and he wondered vaguely if he'd given himself a concussion when he landed at the bottom of the stairs. Jethro yawned suddenly, overcome by exhaustion. It felt good to lie down. It was so quiet.

He'd rest for a minute…just for a minute…

xxx

Tony was hanging on the monkey bars upside down when Kelly ran back onto the playground. "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" she exclaimed.

Tony pulled himself up and grabbed the bar so he could drop his feet down. He dusted his hands off on his pants and smiled, looking around. "Where is he?" he asked his sister.

"He's at home, he said he'd come up here later," Kelly said.

"I wanna see Daddy now though," Tony said, frowning. He saw Myra coming into the playground then. "Miss Myra!" he called.

"What is it Sweetie?"

"Can I please go see my Daddy?"

"I think he's going to be coming up here in a minute," she said.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease," Tony begged. "I'll be really careful!"

"What if one of us goes with you?" Myra suggested.

"No I'll be ok," Tony said. "I can do it myself."

Myra looked troubled. Adam was coming over to them. "Alright," she relented. "But you go straight home."

"I will!" Tony took off running.

"Follow him Adam," Myra said to her husband. "He's dying for independence, and he wanted to go check on Jethro…but I can't help but think you need to go too."

"I'm on it," Adam said, trotting off after Tony.

It didn't take him long to catch up to the boy, almost to his house. "What are you doing?" Tony asked when Adam joined him.

"Well I needed to go potty," Adam said, giving the illusion that the child still had his independence. "So I thought I'd tag along. Can I use your bathroom?"

"I think so," Tony said. They hurried up the front steps of Tony's house and Tony nearly ran full tilt into the door when it didn't budge. He stopped and frowned at the door. "Daddy doesn't lock the door when he knows we might come inside," he said softly. He slapped his hand over his tummy. "I think something is wrong."

"I have a key to your house," Adam said, pulling out his keys. He was glad for Myra's foresight. Glad she'd sent him with Tony. He quickly unlocked the house and the two stepped inside.

"Daddy? Are you—DADDY!"

Adam was right behind Tony and quickly moved to Jethro's side and dropped to his knees next to his friend. "Hey Buddy? Jethro! You with me?" he lightly slapped Jethro's face a couple of times.

Tony sat on his knees beside his daddy, eyes brimming with tears, a worried look on his face.

Adam let out a sigh of relief when Jethro groaned. Jethro's eyelids fluttered and he opened them slowly. They rolled back in his head a bit, but then he blinked and focused them. "Tony?" he asked softly when he saw his little boy beside him. "What're you doing?"

"Daddy, Kelly told me you was home and I wanted to come see you!" Tony said. "So I came down here and then Adam told me he hadda go potty so he was going to use our bathroom and then the door was locked so Adam used his key and we found you onna floor! Are you ok?!"

"I'm ok," Jethro mumbled softly. He looked up at Adam. "Needa sit up," he said, moving to push himself up. He quickly stopped when his shoulder protested though, panting through the pain and closing his eyes.

"Will ya take it easy!" Adam said. "Let me help you. Your shoulder hurting?" Jethro nodded tightly. "Alright," Adam moved around him to the other shoulder. "Gonna support the one that hurts and pull you up with the one that doesn't. Ok on three. One…two…three!" Adam gently pulled Jethro into a seated position and scooted behind him to prop him up if he needed it. "You ok man?" he asked.

"I'm ok," Jethro panted. "I'm ok."

"Daddy?" Tony's eyes were watery now, and the tears were trickling down his cheek. "Daddy what happened?"

"Well you know how Daddy's knee hurts sometimes?" Jethro forced himself to stay calm.

"Yeah," Tony nodded.

"Well I was heading up the stairs to take a shower and realized I'd left my phone downstairs. I turned around to go back for it and my knee pulled and I fell down the stairs," Jethro told Tony.

"Did you bonk your head onna floor? You looked like you were sleeping when we came in only you didn't wake up!"

"I think maybe," Jethro nodded. "Gotta headache," he said.

"I'm gonna call an ambulance," Adam said.

"No," Jethro said. "No. Just hang on a minute."

"You were unconscious Jethro," Adam said. "And you were in an explosion three months ago. I am calling. an. ambulance."

Jethro looked at Adam for a long moment before turning to Tony. "Hey Buddy?" he said softly.

"Yeah Daddy?"

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Sure Daddy!"

"Would you take Sasha out and let her go potty really quickly?" Jethro asked.

Tony thought the request seemed odd, but nodded. "Ok," he said softly.

Once Tony had left the room Jethro glared at Adam. "I don't want to freak him out," Jethro snapped. "I don't need an ambulance. I do, however, need to go to the hospital."

"I'll get Myra and we'll keep the kids," Adam said.

"No I want Tony to come with me," Jethro said. "Kelly too if she wants to. I don't want them to feel like they don't have access to me. They need me right now. I'm…" he sighed. "I'm all they've got."

"Should we at least call Shannon and let her know what's happened?" Adam asked.

"Not yet," Jethro said. "I'll call her mother once I know what the doctor says." Jethro looked down at his knee. "It's bad Adam. I felt it tear. It's bad."

Adam nodded and rubbed a hand over Jethro's shoulder. "Alright man we'll fix it. Just sit tight ok."

"Will you hand me my cell phone? It's on the couch."

"Sure," Adam said. He scooted across the floor and got the cell phone. He passed it to Jethro and pulled out his own cell phone. "Myra? I need you down here at Jethro's. Bring the kids…he's mostly ok…he fell down the stairs and his knee's pretty torn up…yeah it's pretty swollen and bruised…yeah he said he felt it tear…no he doesn't want to go in an ambulance…he wants the kids with him. Yes. Yes. Ok." He snapped the phone shut. "Myra's coming," he said. "We're going to take you to the ER and get you checked out ok? Get the head and shoulder looked at too. Though you do have a hard head, so that should be ok."

A moment later the house exploded with activity as Tony and Sasha came back at the same time Myra and the girls arrived from the park. "DADDY!" Kelly shrieked in horror. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU! Myra said you fell down the steps!"

"Yep," Jethro said with a firm nod. "Sure did."

Myra, now in full nurse mode, got on her knees beside Jethro. "Let me look at it Jethro," she said when he tried to pull away. He relented and let her check his knee. She quickly looked it over and then looked at Adam. "Go get me a bath towel. Kelly?" she turned to Jethro's daughter. "Do you know if you guys have any duct tape?"

"Um…that's the silver stuff, right?" Kelly said.

"Yes," Myra said.

"I think we do. Daddy do you know where it is?"

"In the drawer beside the fridge," Jethro said, wincing in pain. Christ he hurt all over. "Needa call…my dad," he ground out.

"Daddy?" Tony asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"Should we call Mommy?"

Jethro hesitated. "I think Mommy's resting right now," he finally said. "We'll call her later if you want to ok?"

"I don't really want to," Tony said. "I think she maybe would just be mad anyway." Jethro sighed and nodded. "Daddy?"

"Yeah Tony?"

"Are you gonna have to sleep at the hospital?" he asked.

"I don't know kiddo," Jethro said, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. "We'll figure it out though, ok?"

"Can I stay with you?"

"I don't know yet bud," Jethro said. "Might not even have to stay. Don't know yet."

"Cause you always stay with me atta hospital so I don't feel afraid," Tony said. "I can help you be brave too now!"

Jethro reached out with his good arm and pulled Tony close to him. "You're a good boy Tony," he said softly. "I love you so much."

Kelly and Adam came back with the tape and the towel and Myra set to work, bracing Jethro's knee. "If you not going to let us call an ambulance, you are at least going to let me truss you up like a turkey," she snarked. "You turkey."

Jethro laughed. "Funny Myra," he laughed. "Real funny."

xxx

At the hospital, Myra went back to the exam room with Jethro when he was called, and Adam sat in the waiting room with the kids. Tony was unhappy that they wouldn't let him stay with his daddy. He sat morosely in the chair and stared at the wall, unhappy, even though Adam tried to explain to Tony that there were times when Jethro had to sit in the waiting room and wait to hear about Tony too.

"I'm surprised Daddy didn't wanna call Mommy," Kelly said softly, out of nowhere.

"I'm not," Tony retorted. "She been mean to everybody!"

Myra came back out and told them that Jethro was resting and that he was ok. The doctors had also learned that Jethro didn't have a concussion. "He's going to be fine, but he's really tired. They're going to do scans on his knee and x-rays to see how to fix it."

"Can we go see him?" Kelly asked.

"For a couple of minutes while they're waiting to do the x-rays ok?"

The children nodded and Myra led Kelly and Tony back through the double doors. Maddie stayed out in the waiting room with Adam. Once they were heading down the corridor, Myra stopped them. "Now before we go in, I want you to understand something."

"What's that?" Tony asked. "Is my daddy gonna go to heaven?"

"No Sweetheart. He's going to be fine. But they've given him some medicine to make his knee feel better and it's made him really tired ok? So if he's asleep when you see him, or if he goes to sleep while you're talking to him or something, don't be afraid ok? He's ok. I promise."

Kelly and Tony nodded and they followed Myra into the small cubicle. Jethro was on the bed with his knee elevated on a couple of pillows. He was wearing one of those funny hospital gowns and he didn't look happy—even though he was asleep.

Kelly approached the bed first, with Tony beside her. "He looks so handsome, doesn't he?" Kelly said. "Just like the Prince Charming in the stories." She smiled down at him and kissed him on his cheek. "I love you Daddy," she said softly. She frowned a bit when he didn't wake up but stepped back and sat down in the chair next to Jethro's bed.

Tony stepped up closer to his daddy. "Daddy?" Jethro didn't wake up. "Daddy!" Still nothing. Tony shook Jethro's arm.

This time Jethro's eyes opened slightly. He smiled when he saw Tony. "Heeeeeeey," he slurred softly. "Y'ok?"

"Are you ok Daddy? You're talking funny," Tony said quietly.

"'mmm ok," Jethro said. "They ga'me med…cine…" his eyes slid shut again.

Kelly giggled, but Tony's eyes filled with tears. "O-ok…ok Daddy," he said softly. This time Jethro didn't answer.

Tony stood still, staring at his daddy. He flinched slightly when Myra rested her hands on his shoulders. "Let's go let Daddy rest now," Myra said softly. "You'll get to see him again soon ok?"

"M-Miss Myra?" Tony's voice wobbled.

"Yes Tony?"

"Is my daddy gonna die?" he whispered in horror.

Myra hugged him close. "No Sweetie-pie," she cooed. "He's going to be just fine. It's the medicine I was telling you about. Remember I said it would make him really sleepy?"

"Yeah," Tony whispered.

"That's all it is," Myra promised. "Your daddy is going to be just fine."

xxx

While Myra had the kids back with Jethro, Adam pulled out Jethro's phone that he was holding for his friend and quickly pulled up the number for JoAnne.

"_Hello,"_ JoAnne answered, sounding more pleasant than Adam had ever heard her be in the past. "_Jethro are you alright?"_

"This uh…this is Jethro's friend…Adam Tyler. We're next door neighbors."

"_Right. I've heard Jethro mention you. Please excuse me if I sound rude…but why are you calling me from Jethro's phone?"_

"We're at the Emergency Room. He fell down the stairs in the house…tore his knee up pretty badly we think. Doctors are getting ready to do a scan on it to see if it needs surgery."

"_That poor man,"_ JoAnne murmured. _"What else is going to go wrong?"_

"He didn't want me to call Shannon. I haven't had a chance to ask how things went this afternoon. This all kind of happened all of a sudden."

"_Where are the children?"_ JoAnne asked.

"They're with me and my wife Myra," Adam said. "They're safe. We're at the ER."

"_Goodness I wouldn't have made the children come too!_" JoAnne huffed, sounding uncomfortable.

"Jethro wanted them to come, and the kids…well I don't think we could have kept them from joining him," Adam said quietly. "Anyway. I don't know a lot of details yet, but I just thought you and Shannon should know. I'm going to go try to call Jethro's dad now and let him know."

"_Oh don't bother dear, I'll tell him."_

"What?"

"_His plane just landed. He's renting a car and driving here. I'm supposed to meet up with him once he gets to Oceanside. I'll send him to the hospital."_

"That'd be great," Adam said. "Thank you so much. When is he due to arrive?"

"_Within the hour. Any time now."_ There was a pause. _"In fact, he's calling now, my call waiting just beeped. Are you at the hospital here in town?"_

"Yes."

_"I'll send Jack to you."_

"Thanks."

She hung up without another word.

xxx

The scans revealed no good news. Jethro had torn his medial collateral ligament—his MCL—and his anterior cruciate ligament—his ACL, when he fell down the stairs. There was some residual scar tissue that showed up on the MRI. The doctor wanted to perform surgery to repair the ligaments, but they would need to wait until the swelling went down to do so. Jethro would need to see an orthopedist on Monday to schedule his appointment for surgery.

But he didn't know any of that yet, because he was still sleeping off the pain killers he'd been given in the Emergency Room.

About an hour after Adam got off the phone with JoAnne, an older man, who could only be a Gibbs, stepped into the Emergency Room. Adam approached him slowly, a gentle smile on his face. "Mr. Gibbs?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'm Adam Tyler, sir," he said, sticking out his hand.

Jack took it and shook it. "Don't call me sir, I work for a living," Jack smiled. "Jackson Gibbs. Call me Jack."

"Thanks."

"Where is Leroy?"

Adam had to swallow the chuckle that nearly burst forth. No one EVER called Gibbs Leroy. It just didn't happen. "He should be almost finished up. Doctor came out a bit ago and told us and the kids that he's ok, but he's going to need knee surgery to fix his ACL. Surgery won't do any good for his MCL—that has to be done with rest."

"Ah damn," Jack said. "Do we know when?"

"It'll be soon, but they have to wait for the swelling to go down. He sees the Ortho on Monday to make the appointment. Probably one day this week or next," Adam said. "But I'm guessing."

"Where are the kids?"

"Myra took them up to the cafeteria for a snack. We knew you'd be here soon so I decided to wait here."

"Go on and find yourself something to eat young man. Thank you so much for helping us out. Do you think they'll let me see him?"

"Let's find out before I leave you," Adam said. He guided Jack up to the nurse's desk. "This is Leroy Jethro Gibbs' father. He'd like to see his son."

The pretty young receptionist smiled. "Of course Sir, right this way," She said. She stood up and indicated for him to follow her.

"We won't leave until we talk to you again," Adam said.

"Thanks son," Jack said. Then he turned and followed the young woman down the hall.

xxx

Jack had been sitting with his son for almost an hour when he stirred slightly. Jack leaned over and put his hand on Jethro's forearm—the one not in the sling. He'd apparently sprained his already injured shoulder in the fall too.

"Son?" Jack asked softly. "You with me?"

Jethro groaned softly. He'd been drugged, he could feel it. Christ he hated painkillers. He took a deep breath and forced his eyes to open, but only just barely. He must be dreaming though, because the sight before him didn't make any sense.

"D-Dad…?"

"Hi Leroy," Jack said softly. Jethro shifted on the bed and grimaced when it hurt. "Easy," Jack said. "Take it easy."

"What're you…where's…kids?"

Jack picked up the nearby cup of water. "Here son, take a sip," he said.

Jethro drank greedily. When he'd had all he wanted, he leaned back against the pillow, panting tiredly. "Where's my kids," he croaked.

"They're in the cafeteria with Adam and Myra," Jack said quietly.

Jethro suddenly raised up and grabbed his dad's arms. Pain flared in his eyes and Jack looked at him, concerned. "You gotta—you gotta promise me—promise me Dad," he croaked.

Jack gently eased Jethro back. "Ok Leroy ok," Jack said. "What do you need? Anything, I'll get it for you."

"Promise me," Jethro gasped, his eyes glazed with pain and sweat on his forehead. "Promise me you'll keep the kids away from Shannon…Please…Dad…Daddy she'll hurt 'em…please…keep her away…I…I can't protect them…not like this," Jethro's eyes sank shut and two tears dripped down his cheeks.

Jack paused, the weight of the devastation on the family hitting him hard. Jethro was absolutely desperate—ready to rip the walls down and do whatever necessary to protect his family. But he needed some help.

"Ok Leroy," he said gently. "Ok I'll do it…I'll keep them safe. Don't you worry. It's going to be ok."

TBC…


	17. Where We Need To Be

**Author's Note: **This story is delving into the issue of Mental Illness. Shannon's problems are very real, and do somewhat explain her behaviors (erratic and outrageous as they are). It does not EXCUSE the behaviors, but it explains them.  
**Warning: Tissue warning. This is a heavy one folks.**

_Special thanks to my wonderfully dedicated beta, whom I have kept busy for days. Gotgoats you are a rockstar! \m/_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 17: Where We Need To Be****  
**

"Ok Leroy alright, take it easy, one step at a time, nice and slow, just like this, here we go," Jackson and Adam were on either side of Jethro assisting him into the house. He was still pretty out of it from the painkillers he'd been given, but was mostly cooperative and was leaning heavily on the two men who were helping him. Myra was following behind them with the children in tow. Maddie and Kelly were clinging tightly to each other, but Tony was sacked out, sound asleep on Myra's hip.

"Couch or bed," Jack asked Jethro.

Jethro stared dumbly at the wall for a few moments, his eyes blinking tiredly. "Couch," he finally whispered. "Pulls…out…bed…" he mumbled.

"I know how to do it," Kelly said, leaping at the opportunity to be helpful. She quickly maneuvered the couch into a bed and smiled triumphantly. "There you go Daddy!"

"Thanks…Princess," Jethro said. He tried to smile but didn't quite get it done. "Tired," he whispered.

"It's the painkillers Leroy," Jack said gently. "Let's get you lying down."

"Yeaaaah," Jethro mumbled. "S'good…"

"I'm just going to go put Tony in his bed," Myra said quietly, tiptoeing up the stairs.

By the time Myra came back down the stairs, Jethro was situated on the futon and Jack and Adam had managed to locate some pillows and a blanket for him. His knee was elevated and he looked to be sound asleep.

Myra quickly looked Jethro over, checking the circulation in his foot and leg. It was braced and immobilized to support his damaged joint. "Hopefully the swelling will go down some by Monday when he sees the doctor," Myra said quietly, covering Jethro's foot back up. She looked up at Jack and smiled grimly. "You've got a tough job ahead of you."

"What is that?" Jack asked.

"You've got to keep Jethro on this couch until his appointment on Monday."

Jack looked at his son, head tilted to one side and mouth drooped open, snoring softly. He looked up at Myra and grinned. "You're kidding, right?"

xxx

_The image was particularly frightening. He was standing outside…in the rain…it looked like he was looking through a twisted looking glass. The ground beneath his feet was jagged and waving, tilted and distorted…the colors were off…blue trees, orange sky, red grass…it was wrong. Everything looked all wrong._

_The air didn't even smell right. There were flowers on the ground—mostly black—but their scent was not fragrant and pleasant, instead they were putrid and sour smelling. There were odd shaped stones all around…there were words carved into them, but Tony couldn't read what they said. It was raining, from the orange sky poured liquid that burned and stank…he ducked under a tree as quickly as he could so the droplets wouldn't burn his skin. He looked all around trying to make sense of what was going on._

_Where was he?_

_Finally it dawned on him. It had stopped raining so Tony ventured down a crooked path. He was in a graveyard. He discovered, much to his horror, that his leg was bent and deformed—much in the same way it had been before the surgery had fixed it. Dear Lord what had happened? Where was he? What was going on? This wasn't right—it was wrong—all wrong! Everything looked wrong!_

_Up ahead he saw someone standing in front of one of the stones. Someone familiar…someone…his sister…Kelly. It was Kelly._

"_KELLY!" He called. He began running, trying frantically to reach her. As he ran it seemed that the road before him stretched, leaving him running and running and never able to reach her. "KELLY!" He called again. _

_This time the little girl turned and Tony stopped. She was crying. She looked so sad. What was wrong? What had happened? "KELLY!" he called again._

"_TONY!" She called back. "Tony come quick!" Tony began running again. This time the road seemed to propel him forward and in only a few steps he found himself standing next to his sister. His beloved sister. She looked so sad. _

"_What's wrong?" he asked. "What is it?"_

"_Tony look!" Kelly turned and pointed. She was pointing at the stone in front of her. There were words carved on it, but he still couldn't make out the words. What did it say? He watched in horror as the letters began to clear before his eyes. _

_LEROY JETHRO GIBBS_

"_It's Daddy," Kelly whimpered. "It's Daddy Tony. Daddy's Dead. Daddy died."_

xxx

The sounds of frantic, frightened screams pulled Jethro out of his sound, drug induced sleep.

"DAADDDDDYYYY!"

Tony. Jethro pushed himself up and looked around. He ran a hand over his face and wondered how the hell he'd gotten home. The last thing he really remembered was being in the Emergency Room and the doctor saying something about him giving Jethro something for the pain. Shit.

"DAADDDYYYY!" The cries were pitiful and horrific sounding, and Jethro found himself forcing his body up off of the futon. Tony was upstairs. He gasped in pain and doubled over when he put weight on his leg. His knee didn't want to hold him. Taking only a moment to center himself, Jethro forced his body upright and leaned against the wall. Tony needed him. Tony was crying. He could hear his son's sobs through the closed door and all the way down the stairs.

How was he going to get up the stairs?

He leaned on the wall with his good arm, grasping the rail. He closed his eyes and hopped up the first step.

"I'm comin' Tony," he panted. Christ this was going to hurt. "I'm comin' Son just hang on…Daddy's comin'!"

As he focused all of his attention on getting up the stairs—the cries and screams drawing Jethro like a wraith—he barely noticed the sounds of footsteps up above him.

"LEROY WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOIN?!" Jack snapped. "Get your ass back in the bed!"

"Tony needs me," Jethro panted. "He's cryin'…WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE! GO HELP HIM!"

Instead, Jack started down the stairs towards him. He stopped on the step above Jethro and they locked gazes. "You're not supposed to be up," Jack said firmly. "Go back Leroy I've got it. I'll handle it."

"No Dad," Jethro shook his head. "Tony needs me. He needs me. He's yelling for me."

"Leroy—"

"You have two choices," Jethro's voice was like ice. "Either help me get up the steps," he squared his shoulders, "Or get outta my damn way."

Jack hesitated for only a moment before he wrapped his arm around his son's waist to help him. "Ok we'll go one step at a time," he said.

A few short moments later they reached the top of the stairs. Jethro was sweating and panting, pale and shaking, but determined to get to his boy. Jack was panting right along with him, thinking, not for the first time, that he could do to lose a few pounds. Jethro leaned heavily against the wall and dragged his body forward. He was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and stay that way for months.

He opened Tony's bedroom door and the sight before him broke his heart. Tony was flat on his back. His entire body was rigid—legs straight out, arms tight against his sides, head facing the ceiling. He was crying in his sleep, desperate tears tracking down his face and he was screaming. Jethro hadn't seen his child in such a state since the episodes of night terrors Tony had experienced shortly after he'd come to live with Jethro and Shannon.

"DAAADDDDDDYYYYY!" Tony wailed desperately. He was still asleep.

Jethro threw himself over to the bed and scooped his boy up. Pain shot through his leg and his shoulder, but he didn't care. Tony was all that mattered. Jack came in behind him and steadied him so he wouldn't fall.

"It's ok Tony," Jethro whispered into his son's ear. "I'm right here. It's alright. Daddy's here. I'm right here. I came. I'm here. I'm here. Shhhh Tony it's alright. Shhhh Daddy's here…" He ran his hand over the back of his child's head. "Close the door will ya dad?" he spoke over his shoulder. "I don't want him to wake Kelly."

He recalled Shannon's words from earlier. _"Kelly would sleep through the apocalypse."_

It seemed that observation was true. Jethro wondered how many nights Tony had spent in this manner without anyone coming to his aid and he felt anger wash over him. He hugged his boy tighter. "It's ok Tony. Wake up. Daddy's here. I've got you. It's alright now shhhh…"

Jack came over to stand near Jethro again and the young man looked at his father. "Can you help me sit in the rocker," he said. "I can't…I can't stand anymore…need to sit," he said quietly.

Jack dragged the rocker over to where Jethro was standing and took his son by the elbows. "Easy Leroy," he coached. "Just lean into me and let me balance you. Eaasssyy…there we go," his father praised as Jethro finally sank into the chair.

The young father started rocking his son, all the while talking to him and whispering into his ear. After what seemed like an eternity, two small arms wrapped around Jethro's neck and the child began to sob—but these cries were different. These were not the desperate cries from earlier; these were broken-hearted, heart wrenching sobs that twisted Jethro's heart before breaking it into a thousand pieces…what in the world was his boy dreaming about that made him so sad?

"Tony?" he said quietly after a few minutes had passed. "You with me now?"

Tony squeezed his arms tighter around Jethro's neck and the young father smiled sadly, even as his air was cut off. He gently pried the small arms from around his neck with the help of his father and readjusted him so he was sitting sideways across Jethro's lap, safely wrapped up in his Daddy's arms.

"Hey Big Guy," Jack said with a small smile.

Tony didn't respond. He was staring at his lap, a deep set frown on his face, his fingers twisting nervously in his t-shirt.

"Tony?" Jethro spoke gently. "You ok? Look up here. Look at Daddy."

Tony looked up at Jethro and his eyes filled with tears again and he quickly dropped his gaze and covered his face with his hands again.

"Aww buddy," Jethro cooed gently, snuggling his boy closer. "C'mere…it's alright…whatever it is…we'll make it right…shhhh Tony…it's ok now…Shhhhhhhh…"

"I—I d-dreamed—y-youuu d-d-diiiiiiiied," Tony wailed pitifully, thunking his head against Jethro's chest and crying harder.

Jethro pressed his lips to the top of Tony's head and closed his eyes. "I'm not dead Tony…not going to die…it's all ok…I'm ok. Just fine. See?" He held out his hand for Tony to see. "I'm ok, right?"

Tony finally managed to describe the dream to Jethro and Jack, both of whom listened sadly as the child described the twisted and distorted graveyard and the colors that were all wrong. He described the path and how he'd run and how he'd tried to get to Kelly but for the longest time wasn't able to. When he finally reached his sister she'd showed him the grave…the grave that had his Daddy's name on it.

Jethro hugged Tony close and looked at his dad with an I-Told-You-So expression. "It's alright Tony," Jethro said, his voice firm, but never losing its gentleness. "It was just a dream. Remember how we talked about how dreams can't hurt us? It was just a dream. I'm not dead. I'm not dying. I'm not going to die and leave you and Kelly ok? I'm not going to leave you Sweet Boy," he promised. "I won't do it. I promise."

Tony nodded and after a few more minutes of rocking, began to doze off again. "Hang on Buddy," Jethro said gently, shaking the boy and waking him back up. Tony blinked sleepily at him. "Hop into bed," he said. "I can't lift you." It killed him to admit that. Tony slowly slid off of his Daddy's lap, taking extra care to not bump his injured knee. Once Tony was off Jethro's lap, Jethro stood up and tucked Tony into bed. He leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "No more nightmares," he said. "You're fine. We're safe here. It's all ok."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah Tony?"

"Will you stay?"

Jethro looked at his son and smiled. "Only if I can go to sleep too."

Tony nodded and scooted over. "I will make you a room," he said. "Do you want my pillow?"

Jethro smiled sadly at his kind and compassionate child. "I'll get your pillows for you Leroy," Jack said. "They're on the bed down the hall. I won't be a minute," he was already disappearing in the direction of Jethro and Shannon's bedroom. He returned a moment later with an armful of pillows. He helped Jethro get situated, placing a pillow under his injured shoulder and two pillows under his bum knee. He put two pillows under his head and smiled as Tony carefully curled himself around Jethro's uninjured side.

"Am I hurting you Daddy?" the child asked softly.

"No Tony," Jethro said. He looked down at Tony and smiled, kissing him on top of the head. "You're making me feel loads better."

"You're due for another round of painkillers," Jack said softly. Tony frowned.

Jethro shook his head. "No Dad. Just ibuprofen. I don't wanna be all doped up so that I don't even know what's going on. I have 'em if I need 'em, but I don't want to use them unless it's necessary. I need to keep my head. I need to be able to think."

"Alright," Jack said gently. "I'll go get ya something. Be back. Tony do you need anything?"

The child snored softly, already asleep again.

Jack smiled. "Looks like he's down for the count."

"I will be too as soon as you get back with those pills." Jethro smiled at his dad. "Dad…I…I didn't know you were coming…but I'm glad you did."

"Me too Leroy. Be right back."

Jethro was mostly asleep by the time Jack made it back up the stairs. He smiled at his son…God his kid was brave. He was so proud of him. He glanced down at the prescription painkillers in his hand…he figured Jethro would forgive him for this eventually. After all, at least he was upstairs and near his babies this time. He'd notice if Tony needed him and he'd hear Kelly. There was no doubt of that.

He gently roused Jethro, but only enough to get his eyes to crack open. "Here son," Jack said softly. "Open up."

Jethro blinked tiredly up at him and nodded, opening his mouth and letting his father drop the two pills in. Jack supported Jethro enough to bring the cup of water to his lips without spilling. Jethro drank all of it slowly before Jackson pulled the cup away. It wasn't but a couple of moments later when Jethro's eyes began to cross as the painkillers—they were those newfangled gel pills that worked extra fast—began to take effect. A knowing expression dawned on Jethro's face just before his eyes dropped shut and he breathed out a long sigh, drifting off into a hopefully pain-free sleep.

Jack set the cup on the nightstand and left the lamp on for them. He carefully smoothed the blankets around both of his boys and smiled sadly at them. They were both so brave. So damn brave. He glanced fondly at the dog, asleep in the floor next to Tony's closet and nodded at him. "Keep an eye on them for me Sasha," he said. "Help me watch their sixes. Lord knows we need all the help we can get. But the best thing for both of them tonight, is a good night's rest."

With a final glance at his two boys in the bed, Jackson pulled the door closed, and headed back to bed himself.

xxx

JoAnne and Jackson spoke on the phone early the next morning.

"_I feel bad for him,"_ Jack told her. _"Jethro's really struggling…and he's staring down the barrel at knee surgery now. I think he was trying to put it off…well he won't be able to do that now…"_

"I noticed how badly he was limping yesterday," JoAnne said softly. "He was trying not to let on how badly he was hurting."

"_I'm concerned,"_ Jack said. _"He…he doesn't want to accept help. He wants to do it on his own. It's like he feels like he's got something to prove. He's supposed to stay on the couch…Tony had a nightmare last night and Jethro insisted on going up the stairs to get to him…he was ready to fight me to get to him…it wasn't like him. He…I've never seen him like this…"_

"Do you think he's having a hard time adjusting to being home?" JoAnne asked.

"_I think…he needs…he's feeling like he's got to hold it all together,"_ Jack said. _"I think he didn't get the opportunity to adjust at all to be honest. From what he told me…things started getting bad almost immediately."_

"I went to the pharmacy with Shannon yesterday," JoAnne said. "Her doctors have prescribed her with some medications that will hopefully help to stabilize her mood."

"Does the doctor know what it is?" Jack asked quietly. _"Shannon's such a doll…love her to pieces…I hate to think about her having such a hard time."_

"Her doctor thinks maybe it's a mood disorder…we aren't sure what to do with the stuff that's coming out about the way she treated Tony while Jethro was gone. She…she did some pretty unforgiveable things. Things we didn't know about…things that Tony and Kelly are just now starting to tell us about," JoAnne said quietly. "I…I don't know what to think…those poor, poor darlings…"

Jackson and JoAnne spoke on the phone for a bit longer, comparing notes, and making very loose plans. After JoAnne got off the phone with Jackson, she returned to the hotel room. She'd wandered down the hall while she was talking to Jackson. She frowned when she looked around. "Shannon?"

The night before JoAnne had told her daughter about Jethro and his accident. She told her about how he'd fallen, how he'd been taken to the ER, and how he had Jackson with him, helping to care for the children. Shannon was acting more like "Shannon" when they had this conversation. JoAnne didn't want to encourage Shannon to go home just yet, but she wanted to keep her daughter in the loop on what was going on with her family.

Now JoAnne was beginning to regret that decision. She walked to the bathroom, looked in the closet, but Shannon was nowhere to be seen. Realization quickly dawning, JoAnne looked around for her purse. She found it on the dresser—not where she'd left it. She all but dove for it and quickly dug through it—where were her keys? Her keys were…

JoAnne pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Jack's number. As soon as the old man picked up the phone JoAnne steeled herself for what was to come.

"_Hello?"_

"We have a problem Jack. A big problem. And it's heading your way."

xxx

Kelly woke up and stretched luxuriously for a moment before the events of the day before came rushing back. She quickly got dressed and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She normally liked to wear her hair in braids, but today she had too much to do to spend a long time fixing her hair. Ponytails were much faster. She opened the bedroom door and hurried down the stairs, stopping short when she saw the rumpled futon where her daddy had been sleeping last night when she went to bed. She wrinkled her nose and headed for the kitchen. She'd heard the sound of the shower upstairs before she'd come down. That meant Grandpa was in the shower. But she smelled coffee. Maybe Daddy was feeling better.

The ten year old stopped cold in the doorway to the kitchen, her eyes widening at the sight before her.

Shannon stood in the kitchen, dressed in her shorts and t-shirt like she would be any other summer morning. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail very similar to Kelly's and she was busily mixing up blueberry pancakes by the look and smell of things.

Daddy had talked to both her and Tony and told them that Mommy was sick, and was staying with Grandma, and that she would be home when she was feeling a bit better. But the way Daddy had made it sound, Mommy should not be better yet. She crossed her arms.

"What are you doing here Mommy?" Kelly leaned against the doorway.

Shannon whipped around. "Oh Kelly! Hi baby! I've missed you!" Shannon rushed over to her, a huge smile on her face. She held out her arms for a hug, only stopping when Kelly didn't reciprocate. "Kelly?"

"I think you should leave," Kelly said softly, but her voice held a menacing tone.

"Kelly what on earth are you talking about? I live here! And your daddy needs us to take care of him!"

"MY daddy doesn't need YOU to do ANYTHING for him!" Kelly snapped. "HE needs YOU to GO AWAY."

Shannon put her hands on her hips. "Now young lady, I don't like your tone," Shannon said firmly. "I think you need to rethink your attitude."

Kelly took a step up to her mother and glared up at her. She was certainly her father's child—if the glare was any indication. Shannon kept her gaze even. "I'm not changing my attitude til you do," Kelly snapped. "You always taught us that respect is earned. You haven't been earning any respect from me or Tony or Daddy in a long time. We don't like YOUR attitude!"

"KELLY ELIZABETH GIBBS YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!"

"Or WHAT!" Kelly shouted. "Are you going to HIT ME? Are you going to not celebrate my birthday because you are mad at me? Are you going to make me look dumb in front of all my friends? ARE YOU GOING TO TREAT ME LIKE YOU TREATED TONY!"

Shannon paused and didn't have an immediate answer.

Kelly glared at her mother again. "Your pancakes are burning," she snapped. "Why don't you throw them away and leave? You never burn the pancakes!"

"I NEVER HAVE A SIMPERING LITTLE BRAT YELLING AT ME WHILE I COOK THEM EITHER! GET OUT OF MY FACE! GO ON! GET OUT OF HERE!"

"NO!" Kelly yelled back. "THIS IS MY HOUSE! YOU DON'T GET TO LIVE HERE IF I HAVE A SAY—AND YOU AREN'T MY MOMMY IF YOU'RE GONNA ACT LIKE THAT!" She was quiet for a moment, her chest heaving with anger. "You told me that respect is earned." Kelly frowned. "You don't _get _respect from me. I don't want you here. I don't want to see you. I don't want to watch you hurt my Tony and my Daddy—and I KNOW YOU WILL!"

"What are you talking about?" Shannon huffed, exasperated.

"YOU ALREADY HURT THEM! DADDY WAS UPSET YESTERDAY WHEN HE CAME HOME! HE WAS SAD! HE LOOKED SICK! AND IT IS YOUR FAULT! GO AWAY!"

The kitchen door slammed behind Shannon and she whipped around. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Myra Tyler was standing next to the back door. Her eyes were wide with shock and her arms were crossed. Jack entered the kitchen at that moment and put a hand on Kelly's shoulder and the little girl turned, burying her face in his side and suddenly crying her eyes out. Deep heart wrenching sobs escaped Kelly and he scooped her up.

"It's ok Kelly," Jack said. He'd been upstairs helping get Jethro to the bathroom and back to bed. He'd heard the yelling, but thankfully Jethro was out of it enough to not process what was happening downstairs. He'd hurried down the steps as soon as Jethro was resettled in Tony's bed. Tony was still sound asleep, but he'd curled right back around his daddy as soon as Jethro had gotten back into bed. Both of them were sound asleep again by the time Jackson reached the door. Now he glared at his daughter-in-law. Her face was flushed and her eyes were slightly crazy looking. "Shannon," he said coolly. "What are you doing?"

"I came home to take care of my family," Shannon snapped. "But it's OBVIOUS to me that SOMEONE has been telling the children awful lies about me while I've been away!"

Kelly raised her head from jackson's shoulder and glared at her mother. "YOU'RE LYING," she said dangerously. "YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! LEAVE MY FAMILY ALONE!"

"Alright, alright, that's enough!" Myra spoke over everyone yelling in the room. "Jesus Christ you're going to wake up the whole neighborhood!"

Shannon whipped around on her friend. "Well EXCUSE THE FUCK OUTTA ME!" she yelled.

Myra stood toe to toe with Shannon. Her dear…sick…friend. "You watch your language and you watch your tone," she said icily. "There are children here. There are children in this neighborhood. Get yourself under control."

"Me? ME! HAVE YOU HEARD THE WAY MY FUCKING DAUGHTER IS SPEAKING TO ME? MY DAUGHTER! What the hell have you people done to her?"

"WE have protected her," Myra said fearlessly. She still stood toe to toe with her friend, meeting her anger head on. "WE have been doing YOUR job. Where the HELL have you been?"

"I've been held captive! I was kidnapped! Myra you have to believe me—I've been—"

"With your mother," Myra said. "You weren't abducted."

"But…But they wouldn't let me leave…I felt so trapped…Myra? Myra you have to help me!"

Jackson stepped over to the stove and turned off the burner. The pancakes were black.

"I'll help you Shannon," Myra said softly. "C'mon, let's go. I'll help you. Come with me ok?"

"Noooo I don't wanna leave—I need to stay here," Shannon said desperately. "I need…Jethro's hurt…Myra he…he needs me. I need to take care of him. I miss him. I love him so much! He needs me. HE NEEDS ME!"

Myra smiled sadly at her friend. "I know Sweetheart," she said kindly. "I know." She glanced quickly at Jack. "Did…the people who were holding you—did they give you any drugs?"

Shannon thought for a moment then nodded. "There was…she gave me a pill…I didn't want it…I didn't want to take it! I'm so sorry! I didn't want it!" She whipped around to Kelly. Jack had put her down, but was still holding her hand and keeping her close. "Kelly…baby girl I'm so sorry!" she dropped to her knees in front of her daughter. "I'm—so—sorrrryyy," she whimpered as she began to cry.

Kelly looked at her mother, not knowing whether to feel sorry for her and forgive her, or to run away. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you're sick Mommy," she said softly. "But you don't get to be mean to us." Without another word she turned around and walked out of the room.

Shannon, on her knees, watched her daughter walk away from her, and the realization that she was losing her family hit her. She was overcome by sobs and covered her face with her hands. She bent at the waist, her head nearly on the floor, curled into a tiny ball, and sobbed and sobbed.

Jack looked at Myra curiously. Myra bit her lower lip. "Call Adam for me," she said to Jack. The older man nodded and Myra sprang into action. "Honey? Shannon? If they gave you drugs we need to go get you checked out," she said. Myra knew damn good and well that JoAnne had started giving Shannon the medication she'd been prescribed to balance her moods. It was quite obvious that the medication—with its violent and sudden reaction—was not working.

Shannon sniffled several times and looked up at her friend. "You…you believe me?" she breathed.

"Course I do," Myra smiled sadly. "I know you've had a rough time of things," she said. "C'mon honey. Let's go get you checked out. If the doctors say you can come home I'll bring you back ok?"

Myra took Shannon's hands and helped her to her feet. "C'mon," She said. "Let's go to the ER. I'll go with you."

Jack nodded at Myra gratefully as the young woman led her sobbing friend carefully out of the house.

xxx

As soon as the back door shut, Jack ran a hand over his face. He turned and headed for the living room, looking for Kelly. Kelly was carefully straightening the futon's blankets. She wasn't setting the futon back up into a couch, but was smoothing the blankets and arranging the pillows so it looked nicer. She stopped when she saw Jack.

"Hey Princess," he said softly.

"Hey Grandpa," she said quietly. She fussed around the room a bit more, straightening up this and that, before stopping, her gaze staring out the window. "Grandpa what's wrong with Mommy?"

A noise on the stairs drew their attention. "Tony," Jack said softly. "Mornin' kiddo!"

"I heared everybody yelling," the little boy said softly. "I woke up but I was scared…why was Mommy so mad?"

"Why don't you kids come over here and sit down with me," Jack said. "Let's talk."

The children piled up in the recliner with Jackson. He noticed that this was a tighter fit than it used to be. He wrapped his arms around the kids and thought for a moment trying to figure out what to say. "Kids…" he sighed. "Your mommy's sick. But…it's…it's hard to explain…it's not like she has a cold or something. It's a different kind of sick."

"It's in her head, isn't it?" Kelly asked. She sounded so sad, and Jack couldn't help but hug her a little tighter.

"It could be," he said softly. "But the important thing to remember is that she is going to the doctor and she is going to get medicine to make her feel better. But the medicines are tricky. So she might have to try a few different ones before she starts to feel better."

"Is that why she been so mean to me?" Tony asked. His voice was nearly a mumble.

"I don't know Tony," Jack said. "But I do know that you have not done anything to make it ok for her to be mean to you. Neither have you Kelly."

Both of the kids looked at him, looking for signs of doubt or dishonesty. Tony finally slid off his lap. "I gonna go play upstairs," he said softly. "I want to be with Daddy if he wakes up."

"Are you hungry kiddo?"

Tony started up the stairs, his little shoulders drooped and his head bowed low. "No," he said softly. "I'm not hungry."

"Kelly?"

"Me either Grandpa," she said softly. "I think I want to go outside and play." She slid off of Jackson's lap and scooped up Archie, her cat, as he crept past.

"Alright kiddo. Stay either in our yard or over in your friend's yard next door ok? If you go inside over there, just call me and let me know ok?"

"I will, Grandpa," Kelly said softly. "Grandpa?"

"Yeah kiddo?"

She dropped the cat and turned, diving into her grandfather's arms. "I'm glad you came," she said. "We need you."

Jack hugged her tightly. "I'm glad I came too. Go on out and play. Have a good time Sweetheart." He watched the little girl as she headed outside and hoped she could find something to make her day happier. "These poor kids are all having to grow up way too fast," he murmured to himself.

He pulled out his phone and dialed an increasingly familiar number.

"_Hello?"_

"JoAnne? Jack."

_"Jack! Did you find Shannon?"_

"Ohhhh yeah we found her," Jack said gently. He quickly relayed what had taken place that morning—including the part about how Kelly had witnessed Shannon's breakdown and Tony had overheard it. "Myra came over and is taking her to the ER. She was going to get her meds adjusted."

_"They'll put her in the psych ward for that,"_ JoAnne breathed. _"I hope it doesn't end her career. But I agree it was necessary."_

"It really was. It was painful to witness."

_"How's Jethro?"_

"Leroy slept through the whole thing."

_"How much are you doping him up?"_ Jack could hear the chuckle brewing in JoAnne's voice.

"Enough to get him the rest he needs. He'll be pissed at me, but he'll get over it. He needs the rest so he can handle the storm that's coming. His kids are going to need him and he needs to rest up as much as he can for his knee surgery."

_"Well I wouldn't make him sleep the clock round,_" JoAnne advised. _"He needs to know he's still got some control."_

"Yeah, I figured I'd get him up for lunch and help him get cleaned up and all."

_"Well Jack if Myra has taken Shannon to the ER, what if I come there?"_

"Your car is in the driveway JoAnne," he reminded her quietly.

_"I can take a cab, Jack!"_ JoAnne chuckled. _"Besides, it might do me some good to get out of this room for a bit. And I'd like very much to see the children. Perhaps I can help you out with some of the cooking and stuff while you help Jethro."_

"That'd…that'd be really good," Jack said.

_"We have to take care of us too,"_ JoAnne said. _"Or we won't be able to take care of the kids."_

"You're right," Jack agreed.

_"And between you and me? I think we're going to be here for a while,"_ JoAnne said.

Jack smiled sadly. "There's nowhere else we should be," he said. "We are right where we need to be."

TBC…


	18. Help

**Author's Note: **Sorry I have not replied to all of your reviews yet...these characters just won't stop talking and I am starting a new job tomorrow so I wanted to get this up! I will reply soon though! Thanks :) Headbanger  
**Warning: **The aftermath of Shannon is not pretty. Get your tissues. You might need 'em.

_Special thanks to Gotgoats for all your help :) Love ya_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 18: Help****  
**

Jackson waited until almost lunchtime before he went upstairs to check on the boys. He figured that if Leroy needed him Tony would come to get him. He also figured that if Tony needed him he'd come get him. Since he hadn't heard from Tony since he'd gone upstairs earlier in the morning, he figured all was well. So when he knocked softly on the door and didn't get an answer, he narrowed his eyes slightly and knocked again. This time he cracked the door open. His eyes widened at the sight before him. He'd thought Tony was coming upstairs to play, but there was no indication that there had been any playing done. Tony was curled up with Leroy sound asleep.

The old man smiled sadly at his two charges, but he couldn't help but be concerned about Tony. He hadn't stayed awake especially late the night before, and after the nightmare he'd dropped right back off to sleep. He wondered why Tony was so tired.

Beside Tony, Leroy didn't look like he'd moved at all since Jackson had last helped him get situated. Jackson knew that he needed to get Leroy up, get him in the shower, and get him re-situated again. He stepped up to the bed and looked them over carefully. Tony was sweating and clenching the blankets, but otherwise not showing any signs that his sleep was disturbed. He ran a hand over the child's hair and he seemed to settle a bit. Satisfied that Tony would be alright for a few minutes, Jack turned his attention to Leroy. He shook his son's uninjured arm carefully.

"Leroy?" he spoke softly. "Time to wake up Son."

"Hmmm," Jethro grunted. He blinked once then his eyes slid shut and he quickly resettled.

"Leroy it's almost lunch time. Gotta get up son. Need a shower and something to eat. C'mon now. I'll help ya. Wake up."

This time Jethro blinked his eyes open. "Dad?" he asked softly.

"Yeah Son," Jack smiled. "It's me. Let's get up. C'mon. Got lots to do and lots to talk about."

Jethro started to sit up but grimaced and fell back. Jack dove into action then, supporting his boy and helping him sit up slowly. "Haven't needed…help like this…since high school," Jethro grumbled. "Stupid…football game…"

Jack grinned. "You're a better patient now than you were then," he snarked gently.

"Too tired…to fight back…" Jethro mumbled. He lifted his good hand to his face and rubbed his eyes. "What'd…give me?"

"The painkillers you were prescribed," Jack said gently. "Because the doctor said you need them."

Anger flared on Jethro's features. "Dad…I said…I needed to…to be awake…need to hear the kids…"

"I don't think Tony's saying much," Jack said gently, indicating Tony with his head. "And Kelly's playing with Maddie next door."

Jethro turned around and glanced at Tony. "Still asleep?" he asked. He looked at his dad. "Why's…Why's Tony still asleep? Is he ok?"

"I think he's just tired," Jack said. "C'mon we'll let him rest while you get cleaned up and then bring him downstairs with us."

Jack steadied Jethro as he hobbled unsteadily on the crutch he'd been given to use—he could only have one because of his shoulder—and together they slowly made their way into the bathroom. Jethro stared at the tub for a long moment, an odd look on his face.

"You ok Leroy?"

Jethro shook his head and leaned on the counter. "How did things get so fucked up?" he whispered morosely. He looked at his dad in the mirror. "Things were supposed to be great…I was going to deploy and come home and Shannon and I…we've been saving for a house…we've been bouncing around the idea of me not re-enlisting…And now? Now it's…Dad I…I don't know what to do. Every direction I turn it just…and now I've gotta have this stupid knee surgery," he glared down at his leg. "It's summer vacation! How am I supposed to take care of the kids if I'm—"

"Listen to me Leroy," Jack said firmly. "And hear what I am saying. You are not doing all of this by yourself. Ok? You have family here who wants to help you. We are going to help you. But you have to let us. You have to let us help."

"I just don't want to let 'em down," Jethro whispered. He bowed his head. "I want to make things easier for them—Tony's whole life has been a nightmare—and Kelly—she's never had any problems before, so she has no idea how to deal with all of this stuff…" he shrugged sadly.

Jack smiled and handed Jethro his razor. "Oh I think Kelly can handle herself," he said chuckling softly.

Jethro was slathering shaving cream on his face and stopped mid-motion. "What do you mean?"

Jack looked down. He'd wanted Leroy downstairs and comfortable before they had this conversation. "Let's talk when we go downstairs," he suggested.

"No let's talk now," Jethro said. "Way my life's going things could be out of control by the time I get down the stairs."

Jack sighed and sat down on the toilet. "It's Shannon," he said softly.

"Well isn't it always Shannon these days?" Jethro retorted, picking up the razor and dragging it across his face. "I'm scared to ask, but what's she done now?"

"She was here Leroy," he said softly.

Jethro stilled and his face paled slightly. "What? Dad you said you'd keep her away! What happened?!"

"I took a shower son," Jack said softly. "While I was in the shower Shannon came. JoAnne said she stole the keys out of her purse and stole her car to come here. She…" he sighed. "She wanted to take care of you and the kids."

"You said Kelly can handle herself—why can Kelly handle herself? What happened? What'd she do to Kelly?"

"Well while I was in the shower, Kelly woke up and went downstairs. We didn't know Shannon was here Leroy. She and Shannon…"

"Did Shannon hurt her? DID SHE HURT MY DAUGHTER?!"

"Not physically," Jack said softly. "But Shannon's mood…it escalated pretty quickly. They got into a shouting match."

Jethro swallowed hard. "That's not good," he said softly. "I did that…and I lost…" he said. "What happened? You said Kelly's at Maddie's? Is she ok? What did Shannon say to her?"

"I only heard her call Kelly a brat, Leroy. But…there were other things said around Kelly that…she was a bit upset, but trying not to show it," Jack said. "I talked to her and to Tony this morning and they both understand that Shannon's not well…Myra took Shannon to the ER."

Jethro wiped the shaving cream off of his hands and face. "Why'd she go to the ER? What's wrong with her?"

"The medication her doctor placed her on wasn't working."

"How do you know when one's not working? She only started taking it yesterday?"

"Well it wouldn't have been a magic fix…but…from what JoAnne has explained to me, it should have stopped the sudden outbursts…and this morning…Leroy it sounded like she's having some delusions or something. She kept talking about being abducted and held captive by JoAnne—she told Myra, in front of Kelly, how they'd made her take pills she didn't want…she ended up breaking down Jethro. She was a mess. I've never seen anything like it." Jack shook his head sadly.

"And Tony and Kelly both saw that?" Jethro didn't know whether to hug or strangle his father. Dammit the man had promised to protect his children! How could this have happened?

"Tony was sitting on the stairs," Jack told him. "He slept through some of it, then heard screaming so he came and sat on the stairs. We didn't know he was awake until after Shannon left with Myra."

"God what a mess," Jethro said softly. He rubbed his forehead. "I need to talk to them. I need to talk to Kelly. I need to know what that—what Shannon said to her."

"Let's get you cleaned up," Jack said. "And then I'll call next door and ask them to send Kelly home so you can talk to her."

xxx

Jethro was nearly worn out completely by the process of getting clean. But he knew he needed to press on. His children needed him. When his dad offered him more painkillers he declined. Obviously he couldn't trust his father not to dope him into submission, so for now, he'd just tolerate the pain.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jethro made it down the stairs with Jackson's help and his dad helped him get situated on the futon. Jethro was panting through the pain, his eyes and lips tight, trying not to groan or complain too loudly. A noise from the kitchen drew his attention and he looked at Jack. "Who's that?" he asked. "Who's here?"

A moment later, JoAnne stepped into the living room. "Jethro! Darling! Jackson told me about your fall—oh you poor dear! Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

Jethro shifted so he was sitting up more and pulled the pillows up under his knee carefully to support it better, grimacing the entire time. He looked up at his mother in law, so concerned, standing before him. He and JoAnne had never been close, but it seemed this deployment really had changed everything. He sighed. "Hi JoAnne," he said, forcing a small smile to his face. "Could you could me something to drink? I'm kinda thirsty," he said. Dammit he hated feeling so helpless. It really irritated him!

JoAnne nodded kindly and started off. "Please and thank you!" Jethro called after her. He looked up at his dad. "This really sucks," he complained.

Jack ruffled Jethro's hair affectionately, knowing the man couldn't get to him if he stepped away. "You and Tony," he smiled. "Cut from the same mold."

JoAnne reappeared with a glass of ice cold root beer, and a turkey sandwich. "Here you are Jethro," she said with a smile.

"Thanks JoAnne," he said softly, his cheeks tinting pink as he smiled. "Um…can you both sit down? I want to talk to you," he requested.

JoAnne sat down on the end of the futon near his injured knee, and Jack sat down in the recliner he usually sat in. "Is everything alright?" JoAnne asked.

"No," Jethro said. "But it's neither of your faults…I just…" he ran a hand over his face. "I need help…understanding…what exactly happened here…today…while I was asleep," he shot an accusing glare at his father. "I need to know what happened with Shannon. I need to know what her doctors told her yesterday, I need to know what was said here, and I need to know what to do to help my kids through this—what do you think I should tell them?"

"I can answer the part about Shannon and her doctors," JoAnne said softly. "Up until this morning anyway, because I haven't heard from Myra. Shannon's psychiatrist and psychologist are of the mutual opinion that Shannon's got some sort of mood disorder most likely, but she may have an adjustment disorder too."

"What is a mood disorder?" Jack asked. "I've heard that said, but I'm not sure what exactly it means."

"Well a very common one is bipolar disorder," JoAnne said. "Her doctors were reluctant to give her a diagnosis so quickly though. They wanted to evaluate her for a few weeks and see how she's doing. They put her on a mood stabilizer in hopes that it would calm down her mood swings."

Jethro's eyes widened slightly. "Dad? What happened here?"

"I already told you most of it son. She got really upset when Kelly confronted her," Jack said quietly. "She was going on about all of the lies we'd told about her, and how we were trying to turn her children against her. She burned the blueberry pancakes she was making—I think that was the selling point for Kelly that things really weren't right," Jack said.

"Shannon never burns the pancakes," Jethro said softly. "I do."

"Anyway," Jack continued. "Shannon and Kelly were yelling at each other loudly enough that Myra could hear them all the way next door. She came over here and she pretty much put a stop to everything. Myra and I got to the kitchen about the same time."

"Jackson where were you?"

"I was in the shower," Jack said. "Then you called and I finished getting dressed as quickly as I could so I could get down here." He looked at Jethro. "She wanted to help," Jack told him. "That's why she was here. She wanted to help take care of you and the kids."

"But…but she wasn't ok if she was yelling at Kelly. Shannon's not really a screamer," Jethro said. "Or she didn't used to be…"

"Myra took her to the ER because the medication obviously wasn't working."

"What will happen to her?" Jethro asked.

"If she's admitted to the hospital because her mood stabilizers aren't working, chances are good she'll go to the psych ward," JoAnne said.

Jethro shifted slightly. "Will you hand me the phone?" he asked.

JoAnne and Jack looked at each other for a brief moment. "Please?" He requested. JoAnne handed him the phone. He quickly dialed a number and listened on the other end.

"_PICU_," one of the nurses on the floor at the hospital where Shannon worked answered.

"May I speak with Charlotte Evans please?" Jethro asked politely.

"_Sure_," the girl said breathlessly. Jethro knew they ran their asses off in that ward. He didn't envy them.

A moment later another woman answered the phone. _"This is Charlotte,_" she said.

"Hi Charlotte, this is Jethro Gibbs, Shannon's husband. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute and let you know what's going on…"

He went on to explain what was going on with Shannon, and how proactive she was being in getting help. Jack and JoAnne shared a look of surprise with each other—Shannon had fought them kicking and screaming every step of the way. But Jethro—he was not only covering for her—

"Thanks Charlotte, I really appreciate your help," Jethro thanked his wife's boss. "Thanks so much. I'll be in touch…uh huh…you too, take care." He hung up the phone and smiled. "Shannon's not going to have any backlash at work for what's going on," he said with a relieved smile. "I talked to her boss just now…she's going to put her out on medical leave for the next month and we're going to talk again in 30 days to see how things are. So she won't have to be worried about that."

"That's wonderful Jethro," JoAnne said. "And a good idea too!"

Jethro nodded and dialed another number on the phone. He listened for a moment. "Hi," he said pleasantly. "I was calling to inquire about my wife who was a patient in the ER earlier today. Her name is Shannon Gibbs." He listened for a moment, a frown creasing his features. "What hospital was she transferred to?" He listened again for a long moment before rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Thank you. I'll try there. Thank you for your help." He hung up the phone.

"What'd they say Son?" Jack asked quietly.

"They've moved her to a hospital in LA. One with a mental health floor," he said. "I'm supposed to call and see about visitation and stuff."

"Right because they'll have specific visiting hours and stuff," JoAnne said. "That makes sense…" She took in the suddenly exhausted and harrowed look on Jethro's face and frowned sadly. "Honey what if I call the hospital in LA? Give you a break. You've been going nonstop since you got downstairs."

"I need to talk to Kelly," Jethro said. "And I need to know Tony's ok. Dad will you go get him? Please? Bring him down here and let him sleep here. I need…I need to see him and know he's ok. And I can't make it up the stairs as fast as I did last night. I…I shouldn't have done that, but Tony needed me. I'll feel better keeping him closer."

"Ok Leroy alright," Jack said. "Take it easy. You eat your sandwich and I'll go get Tony ok?"

Jethro nodded. "Can we get Kelly home too? At least long enough for me to talk to her? I don't want to keep her from playing…"

"I think it'd make her feel better to talk to you," Jack said, one foot on the stairs. "Call over to Adam and Myra's and ask them to send her home."

Jack walked up the stairs while Jethro called Adam. After a short conversation he hung up and leaned back against the pile of pillows. He felt relieved but exhausted, not sure what to do with all the pent up emotions he had. He smiled sadly at his dad as Jack carried the sleeping Tony down to him. The child had his head on his grandpa's shoulder and his arms and legs dangled limply. He was getting so tall—much taller than he'd been last summer.

"He's getting heavy!" Jackson exclaimed quietly. He brought the child over to his dad who helped situate Tony so the child was snuggled against his chest, sound asleep. He never even stirred.

"Think he's ok Dad?" Jethro asked. He was very worried about Tony. They hadn't lost *that* much sleep the night before…why was Tony so tired?

"He's sleeping a lot, isn't he?" Jack said.

They heard the back door shut and a moment later JoAnne and Kelly came in. "Hi Princess!" Jethro smiled brightly at his daughter. "How ya doin' Pumpkin?"

"Hi Daddy," Kelly said quietly. It was quickly obvious to the young father that the encounter with her mother earlier in the day had left Kelly feeling pretty unhappy.

Jethro shifted slightly on the futon. "C'mere Princess," he said, holding out his arms to her. It hurt to move his shoulder, but he couldn't help himself. He had to help his kids first. Kelly snuggled into him, being mindful of his wounded shoulder. She clung to his t-shirt. "You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kelly mumbled.

"Heard you talked to your mom this morning," Jethro said quietly.

"Yeah," Kelly mumbled. She sounded completely different from her usual perky self. "Daddy?"

"Yeah Kelly?"

She was quiet for a moment. "Why…I know she's sick…but what made Mom say such weird things?" she asked. "She didn't make a lot of sense…"

Jethro hugged her a little tighter. He could feel his shoulder screaming in pain, but he ignored it. "Kelly…honey…Mom's sick…and…the doctors are trying to figure out exactly what is wrong, but it…it looks like sometimes she's having a hard time figuring out what is right and wrong and what is true and what is false and stuff like that."

"I got really mad at her," Kelly said softly, a haunted look on her face. "I was really mean to her."

"Tell me about what happened Kelly," Jethro said gently, hugging her tightly.

Kelly quietly relayed what had happened. How Shannon had been excited at first to see her, nice, and wanting things to be like normal, but how she hadn't wanted to give her any hugs or anything because she didn't trust her. "I didn't mean to be so mean to her," Kelly whispered, "I just…she hurt you Daddy. I could see it on your face yesterday when you came home. I didn't want to be nice to her. She wasn't nice to you. And she hasn't been nice to Tony in a long time." Jethro hugged her tighter. Kelly told him how she'd started screaming about being held prisoner, and how she'd finally started crying and Myra came over and fussed at them both for being so loud.

"You know what the worst part was?" Kelly asked softly. "The part that really made me feel bad?"

"What's that sweetheart?" Jethro spoke softly and kissed her forehead gently.

Kelly raised her head and looked up at Jethro. "She burned the pancakes Daddy," she said seriously. "Mom has NEVER EVER burned the pancakes." She frowned miserably and tears filled her eyes. "You're the only one who burns the pancakes."

Jethro knew it had more to do with the changes taking place than the actual burning of the pancakes, but he couldn't help but smile at the grandparents in the room while he hugged her tightly. "How can I help you Kelly?" he asked quietly. "How can I make it better?"

"Umm…I'm not sure," Kelly said softly. "Myra said she was taking Mom to the hospital, but she hasn't called yet…is Mom going to come back here?"

"Not today," Jethro said. He glanced at the grandparents to make sure they understood. Shannon was to be kept away until she was under control and no longer a threat to the children. "I think she's going to get some help from the doctor and then she'll start feeling better."

"I just…I know you don't feel good Daddy…and I don't think you've felt very good since you got home…and I think Mom could help you feel better because she always makes you feel better after you go on a deployment…but this time…this time it didn't work." She shrugged. "I don't know what to do."

"About what sweetheart?"

"I don't know how to make you feel better," she said softly. "I want to Daddy…but…I don't know how…and I don't know how to fix Tony either!" she wailed.

Jethro moved Kelly gently so he could look in her eyes. "Listen to me," he said carefully. "You have been so brave," he brushed her hair out of her face. "And you have worked so hard to keep everyone safe and to take care of everybody…and you have done SUCH a good job. But Kelly…baby girl…that's not your responsibility. You are just a kid—and you have done so well and I am SO proud of you. But you don't have to keep everything together now. I'm sorry you felt like you did before. Ok? I'm here, and Grandma and Grandpa are here, and we are going to take good care of you and Tony now ok?"

Kelly's lower lip trembled slightly and the tears in her eyes finally spilled over. She heaved a little sob and Jethro dragged her back down, hugging her tightly. He ran his hands over her hair and kissed her on top of the head over and over again. "Ok," he murmured. "Ok Kelly alright…let it out baby girl, let it go…it's ok…it's ok…"

Kelly cried for a long time and when she finally sat up her nose was red and there was little red spots around her eyes from crying so hard. Jethro smiled up at her. "Ok now?" Kelly nodded slowly. "Good," Jethro said. "Now. I have a question about something you said."

"What's that Daddy?" she asked softly.

Jethro glanced at Tony to make sure he was still sleeping soundly. Tony was excellent at faking sleep, but Jethro could see through it every time. Satisfied that Tony was actually asleep, he pressed on. "You mentioned that you don't know how to fix Tony," he said quietly. "What is wrong with Tony that needs fixing?" Kelly bit her lower lip. "Trust me Kelly," Jethro pleaded. "I can help him, but you gotta tell me what it is."

"Mommy took Tony to the doctor," she said softly. "While you were gone. Because he was so sad. She wanted the doctor to give him something to make him happy. Like a pill or something I think."

"Ok," Jethro said.

"But Dr. Walters wouldn't give him anything. He said he thought Tony was ok and didn't need medicine. He said what Tony needed was for things to not seem so different. He said for us to do the same things we always would do, but do it with you not there. He thought that would help Tony. And he said Tony needed something…some kind of vitaminy or something," Kelly said. "He said to get that he needed to go outside and play."

"Ok," Jethro said. "So what did Mommy do with that?"

"She brought us home," Kelly said. "And she told Tony to go to his room until he could be happy."

Jethro felt sick. He glanced down at Tony. "Umm…how…how long did Tony stay in his room?" He didn't want to know the answer.

"Three days," Kelly whispered. "He didn't go to school or anything."

"Did Mommy take Tony back to the doctor?"

"No," Kelly said. "That was pretty much when she started ignoring him and really being mean to him."

"Do you remember what vitamin the doctor said Tony might be needing?"

"No," Kelly said. "I don't know Daddy. I'm sorry!"

"Ok it's alright," Jethro reassured her. A thought occurred to him then…Kelly…did Mommy ever take Tony to a counselor?"

"What's a counselor?" Kelly asked. "Like a guidance counselor at school?"

"Sort of," Jethro said. "It's a special kind of doctor that people can talk to—sometimes kids play with them—and they help you feel better when you're really sad or angry, or if your head is sick."

"She didn't take him anywhere. She didn't want to take him back to the doctor after he got his cast on. She only took him back to the doctor when other people kept asking him when he'd get his cast off," Kelly said softly. "He didn't hear her say that, and I don't think she knows I heard her. She was talking to someone in the kitchen one night."

"Do you know who she was talking to?" Jethro asked gently.

"She was…" Kelly bit her lip. "She was talking to herself. She does that a lot. But she talks to herself like there's someone else there—it's not like she's talking to herself…I am not explaining it right," Kelly was beginning to get worked up. "It's like she's talking to someone who is invisible, Daddy. She's talking to someone, but there's no one there."

Jethro looked up at JoAnne and Jack. JoAnne nodded and got up, heading for the kitchen. He knew she would call Myra and let her know.

"We are going to get Mommy feeling better ok?" Jethro said to his daughter. "But I might need your help some ok?"

Kelly nodded, empowered by her father's need for help. "Ok Daddy," she said confidently. "I can help you."

xxx

After Jethro and Kelly talked for a long time—nearly an hour—Kelly asked if she could go back to Maddie's and play some more. Jethro smiled at her and kissed her on the head and sent her on her way. As soon as she was gone, Jethro turned troubled eyes to his dad. "Dad," he said softly. "Can you bring me something…hurts…" he said softly, holding his arm very still. "I don't want you to knock me out," he said firmly. He took a deep breath. "I just need to take the edge off." He looked at Jack. "Please," he said.

Jack nodded, understanding. "I'll get you something," he promised. "I'll be back." He left and Jethro looked down at Tony. He was concerned because the child seemed to have been asleep for most of the day. "Tony," he said softly, shaking Tony's shoulder. "Wake up bud. Tony."

Tony sniffed in his sleep and ground his face back and forth into Jethro's t-shirt a few times before settling again. "Tony," Jethro said louder. He shook him a bit harder. Finally Tony blinked his eyes open.

"Daddy?" Tony yawned.

"Hey buddy," Jethro smiled, ruffling Tony's hair. "How ya doing?"

Tony yawned again and looked around. He snuggled back against his daddy and closed his eyes. "I ok," he mumbled.

"Tony sit up for me," Jethro said gently.

Tony popped up. "Am I hurting you?" he asked worriedly.

Jethro smiled. "No Tony," he said. "You aren't hurting me. I just want you to wake up. You've been asleep for a long time!"

"I have?" Tony scratched his head and slowly sad up.

"Yeah kiddo," Jethro said gently. "You hungry?"

Tony scrubbed his eye with a curled up hand. "No," he said softly. "I'm sleepy."

JoAnne came back into the kitchen from making her phone call and smiled. "Tony! Darling!"

Tony smiled. "Hey Grandma," he said quietly.

JoAnne came over and gave him a warm hug. "I've missed you Sweetheart," she said, showering him with affection. Tony hugged her back. "How are you?"

"I'm sleeeeeeeepy," Tony yawned again.

"How about some lunch?" JoAnne asked. "I'll make you anything you want to eat."

Jack came back into the living room with the bottle of root beer. "Here Jethro," he said, putting some pills into Jethro's hands. "Two Tylenol now. We'll do two Ibuprofen in two hours. We'll rotate until bedtime and then I'll give ya the good stuff ok?"

Jethro smiled gratefully. "Thanks Dad," he said.

"Daddy? Is your leg hurtin?" Tony asked.

"Yeah a bit," Jethro admitted.

"Do you want a bag of corn Daddy?" Tony asked.

Jack and JoAnne looked at each other, confused.

Jethro smiled. "Yeah that'd be good Tony," he said. "How 'bout a bag of peas too?" He settled back on the pillows a bit more.

Tony grinned and gave his daddy a thumbs up, heading to the kitchen.

"I'm worried about him Jethro," JoAnne breathed.

Jethro nodded. "Me too," he agreed softly. He looked at Jack. "Did he say anything earlier?"

Jack shook his head. "Said he was going to go upstairs and play so he could be close in case you woke up and needed something…but when I went up I couldn't see that he'd been playing anything," he shrugged. "Looks like he went straight to bed."

Jethro ran a hand over his mouth. "I'm going to make him a doctor appointment in the morning," he said. He held up his hand when Jack started to protest. "He needs to go and whether I feel up to it or not, he's still my kid and I…I will make sure he gets what he needs. No matter what. Just like last night."

JoAnne looked between Jack and Jethro, wondering what happened the night before. Before she could ask though, Tony came scurrying back into the room with a bag of frozen vegetables in each hand. "Here's your corn and your yucky peas Daddy!" Tony said. He carefully and somewhat reverently placed the bag of corn on Jethro's leg. The corn was cold and Jethro could feel its coolness through the ace wrap binding his knee. He smiled. "Thanks Tony," he said.

Tony held up the peas. "Where you wanna put the yucky peas? I say back in the store!" he giggled at his own joke.

"Let's put it on my shoulder," Jethro suggested with a wink. "And then maybe we'll ask Grandma to cook 'em for us for dinner. What do ya say?"

"I say Daddy-Flavored-Yucky-Peas is even YUCKIER!" Tony made a face. Everyone laughed at the child's antics.

"Hey Grandma?" Jethro said to JoAnne. "Do you think we can get Tony a snack?"

"I think so," JoAnne said with a wink. "What would you like to eat Tony?"

Tony shrugged. "How about some crackers and cheese?" JoAnne suggested.

Tony nodded. "Ok," he said, "But I really am not hungry."

xxx

Myra sat with Shannon in the Emergency Room at the hospital in LA. Shannon was confused about why they had left the first hospital and gone to the second. She didn't know what was going on…was very confused about what had happened between leaving home and ending up here…she just didn't understand.

"_Shannon," _a voice whispered.

Shannon looked around. "What?"

Myra looked at her curiously. "What'd you say Shannon?"

Shannon shook her head nervously and ran a hand over the back of her head.

"_Shannon," _the voice whispered again. _"Shannon you aren't safe herrreeee…"_

"Who said that?" Shannon said whipping around.

"Shannon?" Myra said. "Are you alright?"

Shannon blinked and looked at Myra. _"Don'tttt telllll herrrrr…"_

"Of course," Shannon said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Myra watched her for a minute. "Just curious," she said with a shrug.

"_Shannon…you have to get outttt offff herrreee," _the voice continued.

"How do you expect me to do that," Shannon whispered back.

"Did you say something?" Myra asked.

Shannon looked at Myra and smiled. "Are you sure you aren't the one hearing things?"

Myra narrowed her eyes. "Are you hearing things?"

"NO! Of course not! I'm not that crazy!" Shannon rolled her eyes and giggled at herself.

Myra nodded. "Ok then," she said, turning back to her magazine. She kept one eye on her friend though. Shannon was lying to her. A couple of minutes later Myra's cell phone rang. She glanced at it and frowned. Shannon's house. She wondered what was going on. She flipped open her phone. "Hello?"

She listened for a few moments as JoAnne spoke to her and told her about what Kelly had hinted at—at how it sounded like Shannon was talking to someone but there was no one around.

"I'll take care of it," Myra said. "I'll let 'em know…Thanks," she hung up the phone.

A few minutes later, Shannon heard the voice speak softly to her again. _"Shannnonnnn…if you ssssstayy they are going to lock youuuu awaaaaayyyy…you need to go hommeeeee."_

Shannon looked around. Where the hell was the voice coming from? Was she imagining it?

"_Don'ttt worryyy abouttt whoooo I ammm…onllyyy lisssssssteennnn…goooo hommmeeeee…get awaaaayyy from hosssspitallll…"_

Shannon ran her hands up and down her arms nervously before raising her hands to cover her ears. She sat that way for a few moments before looking at her friend. "Myra," she said softly. "Myra I um…I'm feeling better. I think, if it's all the same to you, I'm just going to go home."

"We've already checked in," Myra said. "I think we should stay and see what the doctor says."

Shannon bit her lower lip and looked deeply troubled. She tugged nervously on her hair and her clothes and brushed her hands over her arms and legs, as though trying to remove something crawling on them.

"Are you alright?" Myra asked her softly.

"How much longer is it gonna be?" Shannon's voice sounded slightly desperate.

"Do you want me to go ask?"

"Can I go outside for some air while you go ask? I just want to step right outside the door," she said.

Myra looked at her. "Stay where I can keep an eye on you? I'm worried about you," she added.

Shannon nodded. "Ok," she agreed. "Ok…"

Myra got up and walked to the front desk while Shannon headed for the exit. "Excuse me," Myra said softly. "My friend is here for a psychiatric medication adjustment and evaluation and I believe she's trying to leave. I also think she's hearing voices."

The nurse at the desk quietly hit a button. "Did she just walk outside?"

"Yes," Myra said. "She said she'd stay close. Should I go wait with her?"

Two security guards appeared and the nurse nodded. "We'll bring a gurney out to get her."

Myra nodded and felt sick. How had things gotten so bad? "Hey Shannon," she said, approaching her friend. "You feeling better out here?"

Shannon nodded, but her movements were nervous, jerky. "I um…I just feel smothered in there… ya know?" She kept moving farther and farther away from the doors.

"Let's stand over here by the door. The nurse was going to check how long the wait was going to be," Myra said, hating herself for lying to her friend.

Shannon nodded nervously, and started to move back towards the door. "Yeah ok," she said. She had to get out of there. She just needed to figure out how. "Hey Myra?"

"Yeah Shannon?"

"I think I left my cell phone in the car. I'm going to just run and get it ok?"

A hand settled firmly over Shannon's shoulder. "Mrs. Gibbs?" the man said kindly. She quickly turned and stared up at the tall security guard standing behind her. "It's your turn to see the doctor," he said. "C'mon back inside."

"I um…I'd rather stay out here," Shannon said. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Gibbs," the guard said regretfully. "I'm afraid you have no choice. It's time to come inside now." He took her arm gently.

She tried to shrug him off and frowned when his grip tightened. "Let me GO," Shannon snapped.

Another guard appeared in the doorway. "Need help?" The first guard nodded and his colleague joined him and took Shannon's other arm.

"YOU CRAZY ASSHOLES CAN'T DO THIS! LET ME GO! HELP MEEEEEEE! SOMEBODYYYYYYYY! MYRA HELP MEEEEEEEE!"

Myra looked at her, her face troubled. "I am helping you honey," she said sadly.

She watched sadly as the two guards dragged Shannon helplessly back inside. Her cries echoed out into the parking lot.

TBC…


	19. Letters 3

**Author's Note: ** My Beta went away on a trip and took my muse along! NOT NICE! But thankfully both are back now. New job is going well, but I find myself not having NEARLY as much free time as I'd like…darn that real life taking over things.

_Thanks to my wonderful beta Gotgoats for keeping me on the straight and narrow—and keeping objects and people in their places where they belong! You rock dude!_

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 19: Letters 3****  
**

Shannon ended up being restrained once they got her inside. Her eyes burned with hatred and betrayal, staring at Myra as the guards held Shannon down while the nurses quickly wrapped the straps around her wrists and ankles. Once upstairs, Myra was told to stay in the waiting room while they got Shannon settled. It took a while, but eventually the nurse came out with a schedule of visiting hours, as well as Shannon's bracelet and rings that she always wore. She was also carrying her purse.

"Any idea how long her stay will be?" Myra asked the nurse.

"I can't give you any definitive information since you aren't family," the nurse replied gently, "but I can say that the minimum stay is five days. In her case she'll likely stay a few days longer than that. The doctor wants to keep her eye on her."

"Thank you for your help," Myra said quietly. "Is…I'm not sure you can tell me, but…" she sighed. "Is she ok?"

The nurse was quiet for a long moment. "She got a bit violent," she finally answered. "She was trying to…hurt…herself…The doctor sedated her and she's resting now."

Myra leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. "Is there a limit other than this visitor schedule on when we can visit?"

"She can't have any visitors for five days," the nurse said. "Once we get her intake completed and get her stabilized we will notify her family that she can have visitors in accordance with the visitor schedule."

"Thank you very much for all your help," Myra said, really meaning it. The nurse smiled sympathetically and left her standing in the hallway alone. The young woman sighed. This wasn't how Myra expected today to go…with a heavy heart, she turned and headed for the elevator, wanting nothing more than to go home and hug her children.

xxx

Tony picked at his cheese, summer sausage, and crackers while sipping his juice. Jethro watched him carefully, and realized that Tony really hadn't had much appetite at all since he'd come home. When he'd noticed, he'd just chalked it up to nerves and anxiety—because really, with everything going on, how could someone NOT be nervous?—but now he was beginning to wonder if there wasn't more to it.

"How's your snack Tony?"

Tony was sitting on the end of the futon, facing his daddy, nibbling on his snack. "It's good," Tony said softly. "I just…am not that hungry."

Jethro nodded and patted the futon beside him. "Come talk to me," he said.

Tony moved his paper plate up next to where Jethro was propped up and carefully climbed up onto the couchbed next to his daddy. He stared at his lap, and he didn't speak.

"Feeling ok?" Jethro asked softly. He reached up and rubbed Tony's back lightly.

Tony nodded.

Jethro let the silence hang for a moment before he puffed out a long breath. "Gotta talk to me kiddo," he finally said softly. "You gotta tell me what's eatin' ya so I can help fix it."

There was a pause. "Everything is all wrong," Tony said softly. Jethro continued rubbing Tony's back lightly. Tony lifted his gaze and twisted around to look at his Daddy. Tears swam in his eyes and his breath hitched a bit. "At…at least my mean-mommy never pretended to like me," he said softly. "Not…not like…" he shrugged sadly.

Jethro pulled him close. "Did Mommy hurt you?" he asked. "What'd she do to you son?"

Tony looked at his daddy for a long moment and began talking then. It seemed to Jethro, that once Tony started, like Kelly had done, he seemed unable to stop himself. With his head resting on his daddy's chest, Tony told Jethro about how Mommy was always angry while Daddy was away, how nothing he did ever seemed to be right, not matter how hard he tried. He told his daddy about a night when Mommy's eyes looked funny, and how on that night she spanked him when he had trouble going to sleep. It was the first time either Shannon or Jethro had ever struck either of their children. After that night, Tony told Jethro that Shannon spanked him a lot. She never spanked Kelly, but she always spanked Tony.

The resignation in Tony's tone bothered Jethro. It seemed that out of everyone in the house, Tony was the least surprised by Mommy's behavior.

"I guess…I mean I musta screwed up," Tony said softly, his eyes on his lap again. He blinked hard and a tear dripped off the end of his nose. "I didn't mean to though."

Jethro gently tilted Tony's chin up so he could look his boy in the eye. "Listen to me," he said quietly and Tony nodded. "I want you to believe what I am telling you ok?"

"I will try," Tony whispered.

Jethro took a deep breath and nodded. "Tony, nothing that happened was your fault. You didn't do anything bad or wrong or anything to deserve what Mommy did ok?"

Tony looked troubled. "But…"

Jethro shook his head. "No buts, kiddo," he said. "You did not deserve anything Mommy did to you. You had every right to be sad, and every right to have a hard time. Deployments are not easy. And you've never done one before this one, so it was all new to you. And I'm telling you, you did just fine."

"But why was…why was she so mean then?" Tony whispered. It was almost as though he feared Shannon would hear him somehow.

Jethro hugged Tony again. "Mommy is sick Tony. And it's affecting the way she thinks. I don't think she'd hurt you on purpose."

"So you think she really does love me?" Tony asked, somewhat reluctantly.

"I really do think so," Jethro said. "I think her brain is just mixed up right now."

"Can we fix her brain?" Tony asked.

Jethro smiled sadly. "I hope so Tony," he said. "We're going to do everything we can ok? I really hope we can make Mommy feel better."

"Can I draw her a picture? Do you think that would make her feel happy?"

Jethro nodded. "I think that'd be really good Tony," he said. "I think that's a good idea."

xxx

While Tony sat on the floor and worked on his picture for Shannon, Jethro dozed on the couch. He was exhausted. He'd been having nightmares—about his time overseas, surprisingly not so much about what all was going on at home—and he'd spent many nights in bed clutching the blankets and sheets, trying to breathe through the horror of his experiences. But here, in the living room, with the soft murmuring of the television, the sounds of someone in the kitchen, and the presence of the very special little boy next to him, Jethro found the peace he'd been seeking and fell asleep. The afternoon had been a difficult one, emotionally taxing and hard to listen to. The stories his children shared were heartbreaking and infuriating. Jethro couldn't understand why Shannon hadn't sought help. Didn't she realize that things were bad? Didn't she realize she was losing control? All of these questions swirled in his mind until he finally drifted away.

About an hour after Jethro fell asleep there was a knock on the door. Tony looked at it, but didn't get up to answer it. Jethro's eyes immediately snapped open and he pushed himself up on an elbow. Jackson came in from the kitchen and smiled at them. "Just relax," he said. "I'll get it. Jethro don't you even think about getting off of that couch."

Jethro made a face at his dad's back after he passed by them, and then winked at Tony. Jackson opened the door and smiled when he saw Myra. "Come in honey," he said.

"Thanks Jack," Myra said softly. "Hi guys," she greeted Jethro and Tony. She took a seat on the chair near the futon and Jethro shifted his position slightly.

"Myra thank you so much for all your help this morning," Jethro said. "I really appreciate it. You guys have…you've really saved our asses—er, butts—here lately."

"Language Daddy," Tony sing-songed from the floor. He grinned cheekily up at his dad who smiled back. Two years ago Tony wouldn't have ever thought of saying that to Jethro.

"I'm glad to help," Myra said. "I just…wish I had better news."

"Did the doctor make Mommy feel better yet?" Tony asked, not looking up from his drawing.

"The doctor is working to help Mommy feel better now," Myra said. "She's going to be in the hospital for a minimum of five days," she said to Jethro.

Jethro's eyes widened. "Wow," he said. "Did they say anything about…?"

Myra hesitated and Tony, still coloring, noticed. "You can talk with me here," he told them. "I want to know and I won't tell nobody."

Jethro nodded. "You sure kiddo?"

Tony nodded and picked up the purple crayon. "I'm sure," he said.

Jethro nodded at Myra. "Go for it," he said. "Lay it on me."

"The nurse said the minimum stay is five days, but in Shannon's case it may actually be longer because the doctor wants to evaluate her and get her medications adjusted before they release her."

"That sounds like a good plan," Jethro said. "How was she?"

"Well…when I last saw her, she wasn't that good. Jethro they…she got upset…combatant…they had to restrain her." Jethro swallowed hard and Myra continued. "And the nurse told me when she came out to bring me Shannon's things that…that she was trying to hurt herself. They ended up having to sedate her. She's hearing voices Jethro. I don't know what they're telling her, but I'm thinking they were telling her to leave the hospital, but she was fine one minute and the next minute trying to leave. She started fighting the security guards. That's why she was restrained."

"Daddy?" Tony asked, still looking at his picture.

"Yeah kiddo?" Jethro asked softly.

"What's restrained?"

"It's…at the doctor…sometimes people get upset or scared, and they start struggling. Restraining them means they fix it so the person can't move—they put straps on you to make sure you don't fall and hurt yourself or run away."

"Like a seatbelt?"

"Umm…sort of. Sometimes the straps go on your arms and legs too."

"How do Mommy walk if her arms and legs is strapped down?"

"Well she wouldn't be able to walk. She'd have to lay in bed and let the doctors drive her around."

Tony looked up at him. "Sounds scary," he said softly.

Jethro nodded grimly. "Yeah…yeah I bet it is scary," he said quietly. He looked back to Myra. "Can we go see her?"

"Not for five days. At that point they will let you know if you can visit. I'm sure if you called and told them who you were they'd be able to give you more information, but they wouldn't tell me because I'm not family."

"Makes sense," Jethro said. "I'm sorry you found yourself in that situation this morning."

"Shannon's my friend," Myra said. "I would hope she would take care of me and my family if I needed her. It was hard though…she's pretty mad at me I think."

"Well hopefully she'll get to a place where she can understand."

"I hope so," Myra said. "I should get home."

"Kelly's over there playing. If you need some time, just send her back. It's fine. I think she wanted to escape the crazy house for a while."

"Your house isn't crazy Jethro."

"Feels kinda crazy to me!"

Myra chuckled. "If you need help with anything or need me to watch the kids tomorrow while you're at the doctor, just let me know ok? I don't mind!"

"I appreciate it," Jethro said. "I think I'm going to make—" he pointed at Tony, who was coloring again, "—an appointment for in the morning before my appointment."

"Oh?"

Jethro nodded. Myra understood and nodded as well. Jethro would explain it later. "And I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to have my knee operated on," he told his friend.

"Want me to take a look at it?" Myra offered.

"It still feels pretty swollen," Jethro said. "Not sure the doctors will be able to do anything yet."

Myra quickly checked Jethro's knee and nodded. "It's pretty swollen," she said. "But I think it's pretty obvious what the problem with it is too. I'll be interested to see what the doctor decides. Which ortho are you going to see?"

"Dr. Murphy—same guy I saw last time I tore my knee up," Jethro said with a smile.

"You make that a habit, don't you?" Myra teased.

"I'm not after this!" Jethro retorted. "This shhhh-tuff hurts!" He grinned angelically.

Myra shook her head. "You boys are horrible patients," she muttered. "You and Adam both!"

Jethro chuckled. "Why thank you," he said. "Makes us good Marines. We know we gotta get up and get ourselves together and get our stuff done!" he smiled cheekily.

"Longer you goof off, the more you're gonna lay on your butt with your foot up in the air later," Myra tsked.

"Thanks Myra," Jethro said, his smile softening. "I really do appreciate you."

"Call me if you need me!" Myra waved and was out the door.

xxx

That evening, everyone was surprised when JoAnne dished up huge portions of chicken pot pie for everyone. "We haven't had this in a long time!" Kelly exclaimed.

Jethro smiled. "We definitely haven't had it since I got back," he said quietly. "Thanks for cooking," he said to JoAnne. "I'm glad you're here. You too, Dad."

"We're glad to be here Jethro," JoAnne said.

They were eating in the living room so Jethro wouldn't have to eat by himself. Tony and Kelly were sitting in the floor next to the futon. Jethro was still sitting with his leg up on the pillows and Jackson and JoAnne were sitting in the chairs surrounding everyone.

Everyone ate happily, enjoying the food and each other's company. Jethro had called the hospital earlier, introduced himself, and explained that he was stuck with his leg up in the air until he could see a doctor about knee surgery, so for the time being any communicating would have to be done over the phone or the laptop. The hospital staff was very nice and very helpful. Shannon had listed Jethro on her paperwork, so he was the one making medical decisions on her behalf for now. He asked how long his wife would be in the hospital, but no one could say for sure. All he now knew was that it could be anywhere from the minimum of five days to several weeks or months, up to the possibility of transferring her to a long term facility—there was no way to tell. It was still too early.

While they were eating dinner, Kelly looked up at Jethro. "Daddy?" she asked.

"Yeah Princess?" Jethro took a drink of tea.

"Did Mommy write you letters while you were gone?" she asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Tony looked up so fast that he had to push his glasses back up on his nose, but Jethro could tell Kelly was up to something. "Yep," he said. "Why?"

Kelly shrugged and shoved a bite of food into her mouth. "I just was wondering," she said.

"I didn't like writing you letters," Tony's voice was nearly a whisper.

Jethro's hand slowed as it reached for his fork and he eyed his youngest child carefully. "Why not?" he asked softly. Tony looked down at his plate and his little hands balled into fists.

"Tony?" He glanced at Kelly who looked faintly ill. "Kelly? What's wrong?"

"I didn't like writing you letters either," Kelly said softly.

Jethro blinked in surprise, not understanding where this conversation was heading. "Well I would have rather been here too, but—"

"That's not it," Kelly said and Tony nodded. "I mean. We missed you and always would rather have you here but…"

"But what?" Jethro asked. "Please tell me?" He glanced at the grandparents who both shrugged. They had no idea either.

"Mommy always maked us change our letters!" Tony finally exclaimed. "I tried a write you and tell you what was wrong cause you kept on asking me but every time I'd write what was wrong with me Mommy would make me change it!"

"Me too," Kelly said softly.

Jethro blinked and looked back and forth between his two children. He raised eyes filled with sadness and disbelief to his dad and his mouth flapped open and shut—he just couldn't make words come. There were no words for this. Nothing he could say would fix this.

"Well…" JoAnne was the first one to regain her composure. "You all have been doing a great job of telling Daddy what happened since he's gotten home," she reassured them. "And there's nothing your mommy can do to change that. And she shouldn't—you should be able to tell your daddy anything you want. I'm proud of you both—that's not an easy thing to do."

Jethro set his plate aside. "C'mere," he beckoned his children. They crawled up on the futon and snuggled up to their daddy, being mindful of his shoulder and knee. He hugged them close and kissed each of them on top of their heads. "I am so sorry I left you," he whispered. "I didn't want to—I didn't have a choice—but I am so sorry I had to," he said. His voice sounded thick, as though he might begin to cry. "I wish I could fix this…oh my babies I'm so sorry," Jethro said again.

Tony sat up and cupped his daddy's face between his small hands. "It's not your fault Daddy," he said. "I think Mommy was just worried she would get into trouble for being a brat," he continued. "It's not your fault though."

"No, but I wish I had been here to help you. You were both so brave. I am so proud of each of you." He kissed each of them again.

"Daddy," Tony giggled, squirming in his grasp. "Can we keep eating now? I's hungry and Grandma made chicken pie!"

Jethro smiled. He was glad his boy was hungry. He was getting to the age where he would hopefully begin eating quite a bit more—hopefully he'd grow some. "Sure son," Jethro said.

Kelly looked up at her daddy and kissed him on the cheek before sliding back into the floor. Jethro glanced wearily at JoAnne and Jackson and let out a long sigh. Jackson gave him a smile and a thumbs up and JoAnne smiled and nodded. He leaned back against the pillows and watched his precious children finish their dinner. He was worried about the kids…and Shannon. The things everyone was telling him about…it didn't sound like the woman he married. He wondered if she was really sick, but part of him wondered if he'd ever really known her at all. And that thought bothered him quite a lot.

He didn't know how to fix that.

xxx

Once dinner was over, Tony climbed up on the couchbed next to Jethro and snuggled up. "Ok Tony?" Jethro asked softly.

"Yeah," Tony yawned.

Jethro glanced at his watch. "Awfully early for you to be yawning," he commented. "You wanna watch a movie?"

Before Tony could answer, the phone rang. Jethro reached for it. "Hello?...Oh hi Myra…let me ask hold on." Jethro lowered the phone. "Hey Kelly?" he called. Kelly was in the kitchen with JoAnne.

Kelly came to the doorway a moment later. "Yeah Daddy?"

"Myra is on the phone. She and Maddie were wondering if you wanted to spend the night with them?"

To Jethro's surprise, Kelly shrugged. "I think I want to stay home," she said softly. "I feel like I live at Maddie's house sometimes."

Jethro smiled sadly and nodded. "Ok kiddo. I'll tell 'em. Maybe you can stay another night ok?"

Kelly nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Myra? Hey. Kelly said she wants to stay home tonight…yeah she's ok…I think she's been away from home too much lately. Yeah she's…uh huh…exactly. I told her maybe another night she'd want to spend the night…" Myra and Jethro spoke for a few more moments before ending the call.

Jethro put the phone down and glanced at Tony. The little one was curled up on his side, sound asleep beside his Daddy. Jethro frowned. He wondered why Tony was sleeping so much. Kelly came in with JoAnne in tow and JoAnne stopped and frowned at the sleeping child on the couchbed. "Is he asleep _again_?" she asked.

"Yeah," Jethro nodded.

"He sleeped a lot while you were gone too," Kelly said softly. "Mom would send him to his room and he'd just go to sleep. Some nights he'd go to bed as soon as supper was over and he'd sleep through breakfast the next day."

"I think I'm going to make him an appointment with Dr. Walters in the morning," Jethro said, still looking at his sleeping child. It concerned him how much Tony was sleeping.

"I think that's a good idea," Kelly nodded in agreement. Jethro looked at her questioningly. "Mommy…she only took him to the doctor once."

Jethro blinked. "Only once? In nine months? But…she said…"

Kelly looked at him and shook her head. "Then she lied to you," she said firmly. She was shocked by the look of sadness on her daddy's face. "Daddy…did you really not know about all this stuff?"

Jethro let out a short, sobbing, sighing breath. "I really didn't know," he said. "I really didn't."

Kelly looked at her daddy for a long moment. "Do you have the letters that Mommy wrote you?"

"Yeah," Jethro said. "Lotta good they did me," he muttered.

"Daddy…could I look at them with you?" Kelly asked softly.

Jethro looked at Kelly like she'd grown another head. "I don't understand," he said. "Why do you want to read the letters?"

"I was just…just thinking that I could see what she told you and…and tell you what really happened instead," Kelly said softly.

Jethro blinked. "That's a good idea Kelly!" he praised. He glanced around. "JoAnne would you mind to do me a big favor?" he asked.

"I'll go get your letters for you Jethro," JoAnne said with a smile. "Where are you keeping them?"

"If you look in the closet in my bedroom…there's a blue box on the floor. The fire safe. They're inside."

"Is it locked?"

"No I don't think so," Jethro said. "Thank you. I wish I could just go get them."

"Daddy you been working hard for a long time! Let us wait on you!" Kelly exclaimed.

Jethro smiled and tweaked Kelly's cheek. "You're so sweet," he said.

xxx

_**September 12**_

_Dear Jethro,_

_ Hi Baby! How's things? You doing ok? I miss you like crazy! _

_ Things here are going as well as can be expected. There have been ups and downs. Tony is adjusting, though is still way more withdrawn than I'd like him to be. He's trying though, and he's working hard to keep his attitude in check (we all know how Little Tony can be when he's grouchy)…I think there's some trouble at the school though…Kelly tells me that some of Tony's friends aren't being very good friends these days. I have a parent-teacher conference scheduled for my day off next week. I am hoping to get to the bottom of several things. I have a feeling the teacher doesn't really "get" Tony. So I'm going to explain him to her and help her to understand. He's going to need a LOT of support this year—and if she can't make that happen then I'll be looking to have him moved to another class. But I would like to give her a fair fighting chance first. So we are going to talk._

_ Kelly is doing amazingly well. She's adjusted and slipped right back into her routine and is just handling this deployment like a champ. You'd be so proud of her. She's so good with Tony too, always making sure he's included if she's playing with other kids, and if they play here she's always very nice to him and shares with him. She's so grown up Jethro. It's just amazing to see. I wish you could see it. She's a little spitfire though—we're going to have to keep an eye on her. I have the feeling she's ready to pick a fight on the playground with several kids from Tony's class. I have a parent-teacher conference scheduled with her teacher as well for the same day as Tony's though, so I'll make sure her teacher knows what's going on too._

_ Work is good. They FINALLY put me on a set schedule after I begged. It's just easier for me to be home in the evenings with the kids…my boss knows about you being gone and about Tony and Kelly, so she finally worked it out so that I can work 7:30-4:30 Monday through Friday and be off on the weekends. It's not the same rotation as I'm used to, but so far it's good. I have a bit of vacation time saved up and they're telling me I have to use it before the end of the year. So I might take the kids up to Stillwater for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Haven't decided yet. Holidays with you gone aren't the same. Might be good to have a change of scenery. I'll ask the kids what they think. I'll let them help me decide what to do. I'll have more vacation time saved up by the time you get home so I'll be able to take some time off while you have leave and we can be together. Together. That's a nice idea, isn't it?_

_ Oh by the way, we received a deposit in the bank from your payday. You did great setting that up—we have plenty of money to make it through until your next payday. We aren't struggling financially for anything, and I am actually able, with what you're sending us, to put most of my paycheck back for savings. You know, so we can maybe do that thing we talked about. I vote we throw a dart at the map and see where we land. I'd like to be closer to Mother and Jack. Guess we'll see where the winds blow us, won't we? That's what we've always done._

_ You'd laugh at the kids. They're so eager to hear from you—I've had to make a calendar for them and mark which days belongs to which kid so they can take turns checking the mail. Thank goodness there is only mail delivery on 6 days a week. I think if there was mail delivery on Sundays it would be my turn to check the mail. Just to keep things balanced you know. They miss you like crazy—you're all they talk about. They can't wait to write you, can't wait to hear from you, can NOT wait to see you on the webcam (when are we doing that?) and I swear we are counting down the months, weeks, and days until you come home. Of course we don't know when that is exactly, but we are guessing._

_ Well honey I guess I should go. The kids are itching to go to the playground and try out the new equipment. Ever since that summer when Hernandez was killing all of those girls…you know the playground has really been abandoned since then. But the neighborhood group got together and they've pretty much reconstructed the whole place. It's wonderful. The children are so excited—all of them, all over the neighborhood. So I told Tony and Kelly we'd go up there after dinner. They insisted that we all sit down to write you before going to the playground though. I thought Kelly was going to wet herself today when your letter came. It's really not the same around here without you. I miss you so much. Everything about you. The way you snore in my ear when you sleep and we're snuggled up, the way you always leave your dirty freaking socks under the bed (Seriously I have had to do major recon missions to recover your socks!) the way you always set your coffee cup on the side of the sink instead of never ever putting it in the dishwasher…I'd put up with all of those things and never complain about them again if I could have you back here. We miss you Daddy. We love you soooo so so so so so much. Kelly is reading over my shoulder and telling me how gross I'm being. I keep telling her one day it won't seem gross to her and she keeps rolling her eyes at me. Guess I'll show her. I love you baby. I miss you so much. Be safe. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

_Love you so much. _

_Always, Shannon._

Jackson had helped Jethro shift over enough so that Kelly could snuggle up with him and not disturb Tony. Jethro held the letter up and he read it out loud. Shannon had messy handwriting, and Jethro knew Kelly would struggle reading it. He'd been reading her chicken scratch for years, so he had no trouble parsing out the words she'd written.

"Wait, wait." Kelly said, as soon as Jethro finished reading. "Go back and read the part about work over again."

Jethro glanced at his dad and frowned, taking a deep breath. Softly he began to read again. "Work is good. They FINALLY put me on a set schedule after I begged. It's just easier for me to be home in the evenings with the kids…my boss knows about you being gone and about Tony and Kelly, so she finally worked it out so that I can work 7:30-4:30 Monday through Friday and be off on the weekends. It's not the same rotation as I'm used to, but so far it's good. I have a bit of vacation time saved up and they're telling me I have to use it before the end of the year. So I might take the kids up to Stillwater for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Haven't decided yet. Holidays with you gone aren't the same. Might be good to have a change of scenery. I'll ask the kids what they think. I'll let them help me decide what to do. I'll have more vacation time saved up by the time you get home so I'll be able to take some time off while you have leave and we can be together. Together. That's a nice idea, isn't it?"

"She's lying there," Kelly said. "They never changed her schedule!"

Jethro raised his eyebrows and glanced at Kelly. "Are you sure?"

"Um yeah Daddy. We would go over to Maddie's house and eat dinner if Mommy didn't come home. She set it up so we rode the school bus home, and then when Maddie's mom got home we'd go over there and eat sometimes. Miss Myra said it made her feel better to know that we were with her instead of by ourselves."

Jethro shook his head. JoAnne spoke up suddenly. "Jackson find some paper. We should be documenting this."

Jack nodded and got up heading for the kitchen. He came back a moment later and started writing. Kelly quickly relayed the information for him again.

"Was there anything else in this letter that stuck out to you?" Jethro asked Kelly.

"Just the part where Mom was talking about getting the calendar," Kelly said. "That wasn't Mom's idea. It was mine."

Jethro smiled at Kelly and tweaked her cheek. "You're a smart kid, you know?"

Kelly smiled. "I know that Daddy," she giggled.

Jethro pulled out the next letter in the stack. "This one is from November," he said, glancing at the date. He read the letter out loud. When he was finished he looked at Kelly who seemed to be deep in thought. "Kelly? Did you notice anything in that letter that didn't sound right?"

"No," Kelly said. "But Mommy was nice to Tony right after he broke his arm. She seemed really worried about him and stuff, but she didn't like it when he'd cry. Will you read me another one?"

Jethro nodded. "Sure honey," he said. The next one he picked up was from February. He quietly started to read the letter out loud…

_**February 8**_

_Dear Jethro_

_ Hi baby. I miss you like crazy. Things here are hard, as I'm sure you're picking up on. Kelly's doing fine, making good grades, loving the cheerleading…but Tony…I wish there was some way for you to come home, Gunny. Every day he just retreats a little more and a little more. He's quit sleeping on his bed. There were several nights when…he's started wetting the bed Jethro. And I haven't gotten mad—not at all—but he's…he's started sleeping under the bed again. Every night I tuck him into his bed, and every morning I wake up and he's underneath it. I've begged him to come out from under it and sleep up on the mattress. He refuses. He says if he sleeps in the floor that he knows he won't make a mess. But…I'm wondering. Sometimes when I'm in his room I can almost smell it. I think I'm going to ask Jewel to take him with Scott somewhere for the day one day, and I'm going to send Kelly to Maddie's and I'm going to clean under his bed. I think he's still having some problems and I think he's not telling me. I'm really worried about him. _

_ I did get him in to see a counselor, and the counselor thinks that Tony has something called Separation Anxiety Disorder. It's not just a fear like "Oh gosh my daddy's leaving!" It's like this really deep seated, anxiety disorder. It can cause night terrors, changes in language, changes in overall behaviors, depression, withdrawal, that sort of thing. She's been reluctant to have him put on medication for it so far, but if he keeps on we might have no other alternative. At least until you get home and things get better. I don't know what to do. Mother thinks the medication would help; Jackson isn't sure what to do. I'm not sure what to do either. What do you think? What's your gut say?_

_Kelly's doing so great with the cheerleading. I included some pictures for you – of both of the kids. They're growing so much. Tony's grown out of his car seat. Kelly is riding up front with me some. Gosh things are changing so much and so fast, and I wish you were here to see it. I'm trying to keep you as filled up with pictures as I can, but it's impossible to capture every single moment. Work is good. I got a raise! Which is awesome—because now I am putting even MORE money into savings! Our savings account is happy these days—and it's drawing interest too, so every day it sits there it's getting bigger. It's wonderful. You are the reason we've been able to save so much. You've taken such good care of us financially while you've been away. You haven't shorted yourself have you? _

_ Do you need me to send you anything? Kelly and I are making cookies tomorrow. We'll get those sent off. We might even throw in some instant coffee for you. Bet you'd like that! You could dunk your cookies in something other than lemonade and beer._

_I'm going to try to get Tony to go to the playground with me and Kelly. He hasn't been wanting to do much. He's started sleeping a lot too. I think he might be having night terrors again. He's not screaming in his sleep, but he wakes up just exhausted. I'm going to talk to his counselor, and I'm going to call Dr. Walters too. Let me know what you think about the medicines. Gonna go for now. Love you honey. Come home soon. I want you back. I'm tired of sharing. It's my turn now. MY. TURN. COME HOME. Miss you._

_Love Shannon._

"Oh Daddy," Kelly moaned.

"What is it Baby Girl?" Jethro asked.

"Can I see the letter?" Kelly asked, holding out her hand.

Jethro handed it to her. He watched as she carefully read over the words. "Ok this part—" Kelly said, "—_He's quit sleeping on his bed. There were several nights when…he's started wetting the bed Jethro. And I haven't gotten mad—not at all—but he's…he's started sleeping under the bed again. Every night I tuck him into his bed, and every morning I wake up and he's underneath it. I've begged him to come out from under it and sleep up on the mattress. He refuses. He says if he sleeps in the floor that he knows he won't make a mess. But…I'm wondering. Sometimes when I'm in his room I can almost smell it. I think I'm going to ask Jewel to take him with Scott somewhere for the day one day, and I'm going to send Kelly to Maddie's and I'm going to clean under his bed. I think he's still having some problems and I think he's not telling me. I'm really worried about him—_is all wrong! She told him he better not wet the bed! She got mad at him Daddy! He asked if she wanted him to sleep under the bed and she told him she didn't care what he did as long as he didn't pee the bed. She told him he could sleep in the bathtub for all she cared."

Tears filled Kelly's eyes and she sniffled once before looking back at the letter. "And this next part—_I did get him in to see a counselor, and the counselor thinks that Tony has something called Separation Anxiety Disorder. It's not just a fear like "Oh gosh my daddy's leaving!" It's like this really deep seated, anxiety disorder. It can cause night terrors, changes in language, changes in overall behaviors, depression, withdrawal, that sort of thing. She's been reluctant to have him put on medication for it so far, but if he keeps on we might have no other alternative. At least until you get home and things get better. I don't know what to do. Mother thinks the medication would help; Jackson isn't sure what to do. I'm not sure what to do either. What do you think? What's your gut say?—_Daddy," Kelly said softly, looking up at Jethro. "Daddy she didn't take him to a counselor. At least not that I know of. She took him to see Dr. Walters, and only one time and he made some suggestions but I don't think she did anything…Tony was so sad Daddy…I wanted to help him…I gave him as many hugs as I could…but…but he just wouldn't be happy."

Jethro hugged her. "It's not your fault Darlin'," he said, kissing her on top of her head. "You were such a big help to him—you were his best friend—you took such good care of him and I am so proud of you."

After a few moments, Kelly pulled away from her father and lifted the letter again. "I'm not sure about this part," Kelly said. "_Work is good. I got a raise! Which is awesome—because now I am putting even MORE money into savings! Our savings account is happy these days—and it's drawing interest too, so every day it sits there it's getting bigger. It's wonderful. You are the reason we've been able to save so much. You've taken such good care of us financially while you've been away. You haven't shorted yourself have you?_—Daddy I don't know for sure, but I thought I heard Mommy saying one day that the savings was nearly gone."

Jethro's eyes widened. "What?" he croaked.

Kelly looked up at him. "I think I heard Mom tell someone that the savings was nearly gone."

Jethro looked around. "Will you…will someone hand me a phone please?" he whispered.

Kelly reached over onto the end table and grabbed Jethro's cell phone and handed it to him. "Daddy are you ok?"

"I'm…I need to make a quick call," he said. His entire face was red. Kelly wasn't sure if he was mad or sick. Jethro punched a bunch of numbers on the phone and listened. Then he punched more numbers in and listened again. He swallowed hard after a moment and quietly closed the cell phone.

"Daddy are you ok?"

"I think I've heard enough for tonight Kelly," Jethro said quietly.

"Oh," Kelly said softly. "Ok. I'm sorry I upset you Daddy."

"You didn't do it Honey," Jethro said. He carefully folded Shannon's letters back up and put them back in their envelopes—keeping them altogether just as he did all of their letters. He held them out to JoAnne. "JoAnne," he said softly. "Would you go put these back in the fire safe for me please?" he asked softly. JoAnne nodded and took them. He wondered why he was bothering to take such good care of them. They were filled with lies. Lies from his wife, lies from his children…he understood Kelly and Tony and why they did what they did, but Shannon? There was no reason for it…She'd lied to him. She'd lied to him about all of it. Everything that had happened for nine months…it was all lies. And now his family was in shambles, his wife was in the psych ward of the hospital, and…and all of the money that they'd spent years saving…all of it was gone.

Shannon had spent every. single. dime. She had spent nearly twenty-three thousand dollars.

He wondered how the hell they'd get a house now. How would they move? Would they move? Would he even be making those decisions with Shannon?

"I think I'm going to rest for a while," Jethro said softly.

Kelly looked at him for a long moment. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Jethro forced a smile to his face for his baby girl. "I'm sure," he said. He wasn't ok. Not at all.

One thing he knew for certain: As soon as that five days was up, Jethro would be paying Shannon a visit.

He had lots of questions.

TBC…


	20. Visits

**Warning: More Out of control!Shannon and lots of Fed Up!Jethro. Language warning.**

**Author's Note:** So work is awesome, but killing anything resembling free time. I apologize for the delay and for not responding to each of your individual reviews. I read them all—and am very grateful for all of the wonderful feedback you're giving me, and all of the questions you are asking. I will try to get you some answers here soon. You guys are what keeps Little Tony growing. Thanks for all you do! —Headbanger

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 20: Visits****  
**

Jethro watched as JoAnne led Kelly up the stairs that night. He hated for her to be so far away, but there just wasn't room on the futon for anymore children or grownups. Jethro sighed and adjusted the blanket covering Tony.

"What's eatin' ya son?" Jack asked.

"Which part?" Jethro said softly. "The part where my wife's in the nut house? Maybe the part where she spent every single dime of our savings? Maybe the part where I almost got…where I _DID _get blown up and have had to hit the ground running as though I was…on…vacation," he nearly choked on the words—the same words Shannon had used—"Jesus Dad," Jethro breathed. He looked up at his dad through glassy eyes and took a shuddering breath. His lower lip trembled and he bit it in an effort to get his emotions under control.

Jackson stepped close and put his hands on Jethro's shoulders. "It's alright now," he said softly. "You don't have to do anything by yourself. I'm here, Son. I'm here for as long as you need me." He pulled Jethro into a gentle hug, smiling when he felt his boy lean into the embrace, and his heart twisting when he felt hot tears burning through his t-shirt. He ran his hands over Jethro's shoulders and hair. He didn't try to shush his son, didn't try to soothe him. Jethro needed to get this out. He hadn't had the opportunity.

Now was time for Jethro to let go of everything he'd been bottling up since he'd returned home.

Jackson held onto his boy, guiding him through the storm of his emotions. He was happy to have the ability to do it. This time had been too close. Jackson was getting to be an old man. His heart couldn't take anymore of his son's deployments.

xxx

Dr. Ng pulled the x-ray screen out of the envelope and slid it onto the viewer. Jethro almost didn't want to look at it. However, he was surprised by what he saw—there wasn't NEARLY as much damage as he'd been expecting to see.

"Interesting," Dr. Ng said. "I was expecting to see a good bit more damage than I'm seeing here. This is good news for you Jethro."

"Yeah?" Jethro asked. He glanced down at his knee, wondering if it were possible that he'd catch a break. Lord knows he needed one.

"Yeah," the doctor said. He pulled up his stool and sat close to Jethro. Jethro was about the same age as the young doctor, who was of Asian descent. Dr. Ng looked at him and smiled. "I am not eager to operate on this knee," he said. "I am not convinced that it's not just a bad sprain or a tear in your MCL. If it's either of those things, then surgery will actually make your healing time even longer."

Jethro's eyes widened. Oh this was better than he'd ever dreamed. "Let's wait a week," the doctor said. "Continue to stay off of it—" he smiled kindly—"I know how difficult that is for you. But do your best. Ice and elevate it at the usual intervals. I will see you back here next week and we'll figure out if you're getting better or if you're going to need surgery. How does that sound?"

"It sounds wonderful. Amazing. Maybe the best news I've gotten in a month," Jethro smiled. He liked Dr. Ng. The last time he'd injured his knee he'd been treated by Dr. Ng, and so when they'd asked Jethro who he wanted to be referred to for an appointment, the choice was simple. They agreed that Jethro would see the doctor again in a week and bid the doctor goodbye.

xxx

Tony's doctor's appointment was a little less cut and dry. Jethro spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was Dr. Walters had told Shannon all those months ago about what he felt Tony needed. Dr. Walters explained to Jethro that he'd been concerned about Tony being depressed all those months ago. He was concerned about his mental health with his daddy being on deployment, and had said as much to Shannon. Rather than put Tony on a regimen of "happy pills" however, he'd recommended that they try to keep him outside as much as possible so that his body could absorb as much vitamin D as possible, and to keep his routine as normal as possible too.

"So you suggested that Shannon try that before putting him on medications. It wasn't that you didn't want to put him on medicine?" Jethro clarified. Tony was sitting in his lap and he leaned a little closer to Jethro, unsure if he was in trouble or not, but seeking any comfort he could find.

"Jethro," Dr. Walters said. "You know that I always use medications as a last resort. Depression—in some cases—not all, but some—can be controlled by things like exercise and sunshine. I wanted to see if Tony would respond to that before I give him a medication that could alter his mood—either for better or worse."

"Hmmm…" Jethro said.

"Did something happen?"

Jethro ignored the doctor's question. "After Shannon brought Tony in for that appointment…did she follow up with you, like you suggested?"

Dr. Walters checked his notes to be sure. "Mmmm nope," he said after a moment's pause. "This is the first time I've seen him since that appointment."

Jethro nodded and rubbed his forehead. "Ok. Then I'd like for us to figure out why Tony's been so tired, why he's got no appetite, and how to fix that. Because he is normally much more energetic than he's been being. I'm concerned."

Tony dipped his head. "I'm sorry Daddy," he whispered.

Jethro hugged his boy tightly. "No apologies," he said. "Rule number six. You've done nothing wrong. We're just going to help you feel better ok?"

Tony nodded. "Will I have to have a shot?" he whispered.

"Um…" Jethro looked at the doctor. "I don't know yet kiddo."

"I think I want to do a blood sample," Dr. Walters said. "But it'll be quick and shouldn't hurt too badly. A little stick is all."

"What's the blood sample for?" Jethro wanted to know.

"I want to check his vitamin levels. That will help me tell you better what we need to do for Tony to feel better."

"Hear that?" Jethro asked Tony. "Gonna have a little stick, then Dr. Walters can help us figure out how to make you feel better. Does that sound ok to you?"

Tony frowned and he pursed his lips with frustration. "I guess," he said mournfully.

xxx

'A quick little stick' turned into three big sticks. Tony's vein collapsed twice while the nurse was trying to get the blood sample. Tony cried and whimpered pitifully when it ached and stung, but Jethro and Dr. Walters both assured him that he was being very brave and that he wasn't in trouble and that no one was angry at him. Jackson sat close by both of them, ready to help if they needed it, but content to sit and watch with no small amount of pride as his son—injured though he was—showered Tony with love and comfort, promising him that things would be alright and that his daddy had his six.

Finally, after several tries, several stickers, and several bandaids later, the nurse had successfully collected enough blood for a vitamin screening.

Tony slumped back against his Daddy, exhausted from crying and from feeling so scared, and he tucked his head into the side of his neck. "Daddy," he said softly.

"Yeah Tony?" Jethro ran a hand up and down Tony's back.

"Can we PLEASE go home now?" Tony asked softly.

"I think so pretty soon," Jethro said. He glanced at his dad. "Dad would you mind to go check on JoAnne and Kelly please?" he asked. The girls were out in the waiting room.

Jackson nodded. "Sure son," he said. "I'll be right back."

"Hopefully we'll be right behind you," Jethro said.

Tony selected a book off the small shelf in the exam room and climbed up into his daddy's lap.

"Whatcha reading?" Jethro asked when Tony didn't start reading out loud.

Tony let out a long breath. "A book about a football player."

"Really? Which football player is that?" Jethro asked.

"Barry Sanders," Tony said. "He's a running back."

"I didn't know you like football," Jethro commented. For the millionth time he marveled at how grown up his children were now.

"They told us about it in gym class at school. Then I found out there is books about it and stuff."

Jethro got the sense that Tony was uncomfortable talking about sports. He wasn't sure why though. "Do you like football?"

Tony twisted around and looked at his daddy and smiled wistfully for a moment. "Yeah," he said. "I wish I could play it, but I don't think I can."

"Why not?" Jethro asked. "What are reasons you can think of why you wouldn't be able to play?" He did not point out what the doctor had told Jethro and Shannon about how the breaks in Tony's leg would likely prevent him from playing full contact sports.

"I am not that good," Tony said with a sad shrug.

"I bet you're good," Jethro said, bumping his shoulder a bit. "Tell ya what. Would you like to try to play a sport?"

Tony stared at him. "What sport would I play?" his voice was a hushed whisper.

"Well let's ask Dr. Walters what he thinks. Sound good to you?"

"But what if I'm not good?" Tony asked.

"Well the coaches are supposed to help you learn how to play. I bet you'd be very good though."

A few minutes later Dr. Walters came back into the exam room. "I've got some results for you!" he exclaimed, pulling out his rolling stool.

Tony seemed content to continue reading his book, squinting at the words carefully through his glasses. Jethro smiled and turned his attention to the doctor. "What'd you find out?"

"Tony's low in Vitamin D. I cross checked the results from today with the results from the last vitamin panel I ran—which was the last time he was here. His Vitamin D levels are much lower now than they were at his last visit."

"What does that mean for Tony?"

"Well a Vitamin D deficiency can manifest itself in several different problems. It has been linked to four mood disorders. Tony would only have to worry about three of them because the other has to do with a woman's cycle," Dr. Walters smiled. "The others are the Winter Moody Blues—also called Seasonal Affective Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Non-Specified Mood Disorder. Symptoms for Hypovitaminosis-D can include muscle pain and weak bones, sleep irregularities and fatigue, and mood swings or symptoms of depression. There's other things that can happen too, but those are the high points."

"So that's what Tony has?" Jethro asked.

"Yes. His Vitamin D levels are very low."

"How do we treat that?" Jethro held Tony a bit tighter. Tony was still looking at the book. He was working hard not to pay attention.

"Because his levels are so low, I'm going to put him on a Vitamin D supplement. I want to check him again in three months to see how he's doing. Also, during that time it will be essential for Tony to spend a good amount of time outside each day."

"How much time is 'a good amount'?" Jethro asked. "And does it have to be in direct sunlight?"

"Go out early in the morning. The eyes are the best absorption point for Vitamin D, followed by the torso. Take him for a walk. Have breakfast outside. If he wants to take a nap even, let him lay on a lounge in the backyard in the sun. Keep him out in the sun for a couple of hours."

"Should he wear sunglasses or sunscreen?"

"Is he very fair skinned?"

Jethro thought about it…it was rare for Tony to get more than slightly pink when he was out in the sun for long periods of exposure. During the summer months his boy's skin grew tanned and dark, blemish free, seeming to happily absorb every photon of light that ran into his skin…

"No…honestly, I think he's probably got a Mediterranean background…he's more olive skinned. He only slightly burns if he does at all."

"Ok that's good. To be safe I'd keep a bottle of sunscreen handy…probably SPF-15 or so. He shouldn't need anything higher."

Jethro nodded. "We usually keep sunscreen around. Shannon and Kelly are both pretty fair skinned and wear a lot of sunscreen."

They talked a bit more and Dr. Walters wrote a prescription for Tony's Vitamin D supplement. "Oh! Doctor, I had one other question," Jethro said.

"What's that?"

Tony raised his gaze and stared at his Daddy. Was he really going to ask about him playing sports?

"We were talking a few minutes ago, while we were waiting for you to come back, and Tony and I were wondering about signing him up for a sports team. Do you think that'd be a good idea?"

"I think it'd be an excellent idea," Dr. Walters said, nodding his head enthusiastically.

"Now I remember that Dr. Trexler, Tony's orthopedist, said that Tony would need to be careful to avoid full contact sports…"

"I think getting him onto a team where he'd get some exercise would be good for him. It will help him combat the feelings of depression that he might be experiencing."

"What sport would you recommend?"

"Well if you want him in something very low impact and easy on the joints, you could try swimming. But really I think getting his leg some exercise would be good for it. I'd recommend soccer. Lots of running to keep him in shape, some good foot coordination and spatial awareness, and it'll get him outside too."

"What about his vision? He's got the peripheral loss?"

"I think as long as he's aware of his surroundings—if he can keep moving his head and keep his eyes open and scanning—I think he'll be able to cope around the vision impairment."

Jethro glanced at Tony whose eyes were open wide and his jaw was dropped slightly open. "Ok Tony?"

Tony looked at his daddy. "You really asked him?" he breathed in awe.

"'Course I did. Told you I would."

Tony smiled shyly at his Daddy. "I wanna play soccer Daddy," he said. "Can I?"

Jethro smiled. "I'll call the rec center tomorrow and we'll figure out when sign ups are ok?"

Tony smiled and nodded. He couldn't believe it. He'd never told anyone how badly he wanted to play sports because he figured he wouldn't be allowed to because of his leg. Or because it would be a bother for Mommy or Daddy to take him to practice. He wondered if they'd come to his games. But Jethro had offered to sign him up for it…he was willing to bet his daddy would come at least some of the time.

xxx

When they got home, Tony looked positively exhausted. The two doctors appointments, followed by a trip to the pharmacy, and a quick stop at the local sub shop had left Tony completely worn down and tired.

"Tell ya what kiddo," Jethro said. "Let's see if we can get Grandma and Grandpa to help us. Wanna take a rest outside in the back yard?"

Tony smiled and nodded.

"Hey Dad?" Jethro called.

Jackson had headed into the kitchen with JoAnne. Kelly had gone outside with Sasha to take her for a walk. That was typically Tony's responsibility, but his sister knew that Tony wasn't feeling well, so she offered to be helpful. JoAnne poked her head into the living room. "He's outside," she said. "Tony Darling," she turned her attention to her grandson. Jethro twisted around in his chair to see that Tony was silently heading up the stairs.

"Yes Grandma?"

"Where are you off to? I thought you were going to take your nap outside?"

Tony stopped on the stairs and his shoulders slumped. "I thought I would just go to my room instead," he said quietly.

"Come down here please Tony," Jethro said gently. "I would like to talk to you before you go rest."

Tony closed his eyes and Jethro would swear he saw Tony's face close down a little bit, making him look more guarded than he'd looked in months—or perhaps even years. It bothered Jethro tremendously. In a few short seconds the little boy was standing meekly in front of his daddy, wondering if he was about to get into trouble again.

"I would like it very much if you'd come to the backyard so you can rest there," Jethro said. "Dr. Walters said he wants you to get lots of sunshine, remember? He said it would help you feel better."

Tony sighed and nodded, his eyes on his sandaled feet.

Jethro reached out and took Tony's hands in his much larger ones. "Come here," he said, eyeing his son carefully. "I want to talk to you. You're not in trouble, but I need you to understand something."

Tony took two tiny steps forward and kept his eyes on his shoes. He was tired and didn't feel good and honestly felt a bit like he wanted to cry, and he was afraid he was being a bother and afraid he was makin people mad, but it seemed like the more he tried not to make them mad the more he—

"Tony? Look up here kiddo," Jethro said.

Tony reluctantly raised his gaze. Jethro didn't like the doubt he saw in his child's face.

"You aren't in trouble Tony. I just am curious about why you're going upstairs to rest? Thought we were going outside?"

Tony sighed. "I just…" he shrugged.

"Uh-uh," Jethro said, shaking his head. "Words. Talk to me."

"I just don't wanna be inna way," Tony said softly. "I don't wanna be a bother."

Jethro patted his lap. "Climb up here," he said. "Now tell me where you got that idea from. Why do you think you're being a bother?"

Tony sniffled once and shrugged, his eyes on his lap.

"Nope," Jethro said, shaking his head. "Try again. Who told you that?"

Tony bit his lower lip. "Why do you think someone told me it?" he asked nervously.

Jethro gently tugged Tony's lip from his teeth. "Because we got you past thinking you were a bother a long time ago," he said. "What brought it back up? Who told you that you're a bother?"

Tony shook his head slightly and his eyes glazed with emotion. He looked back at his lap. "I don't want to tell you," he whispered.

Jethro pulled him into a hug. "I know it's difficult kiddo," he said quietly. "But I really need you to tell me. You won't get into trouble. I promise you won't."

Tony was quiet for a long moment. His face closed down even more and his frown deepened even more. "It was Mo—Shannon," Tony said softly.

Shannon. Tony hadn't referred to her as Mommy. Jethro closed his eyes and hugged his child tighter. After a moment, he glanced up at JoAnne and Jethro could see the fire in her eyes at the pain that her daughter had caused this child.

Jethro hugged his boy for a long time. The front door opened and Kelly came back in. When she saw how upset Tony was she stepped right up to her daddy and put her hands on her hips. "What'd you do to Tony?" she asked pointedly.

Jethro smiled sadly at Kelly. He reached an arm out and wrapped an arm around her waist too. "He's upset because I made him talk to me and tell me why he was heading upstairs."

Kelly cocked her head to one side. "But why would he go upstairs? You told him we are going outside!"

"Kelly," JoAnne said, "Will you come help me please? I need to see what Grandpa is up to."

Kelly turned around and looked at her Grandmother for a long moment before nodding with a soft huff and following her out of the living room.

Jethro turned his attention back to Tony after getting a nod from JoAnne. They'd talk later. "Tony?" he said softly.

"Yeah Daddy?" Tony's voice was soft. He sounded sad and his gaze was on his lap again.

"I noticed that…you called Mommy by her name," Jethro said softly.

Tony tensed. He didn't want to get into trouble anymore. He'd been in so much trouble while Daddy was away he didn't want him to fuss at him now that he was home. "I…I'm sorry," he whispered pitifully.

"Hey," Jethro said gently, a finger under Tony's chin tilting his face up. "Listen to me," he said. "I want you to listen to me. It's ok. You aren't in trouble here. It's me. You know how things work with me."

Tony shook his head as tears filled his eyes. "I don't!" he exclaimed. "It's all different! Everything's different! I don't know what to do with anybody anymore!" he wailed.

That. That was the piece of information that Jethro had been waiting for. That was the big underlying thing here. It was what he needed. "Tell me more about that," Jethro said softly. "I want to fix it, but I need you to help me."

"I don't know how to fix it 'cause I don't know what I did," Tony whimpered. "Everything was good. Then you left. Then I…I don't know what I did. But Mommy was mad…she was still…I don't know what happened? She was mad. Always mad. And then you came back. And…And I don't know if you are gonna be different too," he finished softly.

Jethro pulled Tony closer. "Oh Tony," he sighed, his heart broken into a million pieces. "I can promise you the rules with me won't change." Tony didn't answer. Jethro squeezed him even tighter. "Tony," he said softly. "You said Mommy changed and was mad all the time. Did she hurt you kiddo?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Tony said softly with a stubborn shake of his head.

"Tony," Jethro said. "Tony," his voice grew even softer.

Tony took a shuddery breath. "I know," he whimpered. "I just…I don't want you to be mad too," he whispered.

"I won't be mad," Jethro said. "I promise."

Tony stared at him. Jethro took a deep breath, needing to do something to prove to him that he was telling the truth. Finally he lifted his hand, one pinky finger extended. "Pinky promise," Jethro told Tony.

Tony stared at the finger, the sign of truth above all else, and his lower lip trembled. Finally he lifted his own hand and listlessly linked his pinky finger with his Daddy's much firmer one. "She told me…she said she wanted to send me back to Miss Anne," he said softly, his pinky now clinging to his Daddy's. "She said she didn't wanna be my Mommy anymore."

"She said that to you?"

"No she was onna phone," Tony said. "I don't…don't know who she was talking to."

Jethro rubbed Tony's back gently and hugged him gently. "You have been very brave," he said quietly. "I am so proud of you. Can you tell me if Mommy did anything else to you?"

"She…she spanked me some," Tony said softly. "Even though you said no one here spanks anybody…well she did…she spanked me lots."

Jethro's eyes narrowed. "How much is a lot?" he asked.

Tony was quiet for a long minute. "Every…every time I got sad," he whispered. "I tried not to."

"I want to tell you something," Jethro said quietly. Tony looked at him, hanging on his every word. "You are always allowed to feel whatever emotion you are experiencing. Do you know what that means?"

Tony thought for a minute and then shook his head. "I don't think I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry," his gaze dropped.

"It's alright Tony," Jethro said. "I'll explain it. Your emotions are your feelings. Happy, sad, mad, all of those things are emotions. And if you experience them, that just means you feel them. So whatever feeling it is you're feeling is ok with me. Does that make more sense?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah," he said softly.

"So you feel whatever your body says ok? And if the feeling is too big I want you to tell me about it ok?"

Tony was quiet for a long moment then he nodded. "Ok," he said. "I can do that."

Jethro smiled. "I know ya can. Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you call Mommy 'Mommy'?"

Tony deflated a bit. He'd hoped that he'd managed to evade this question. "I just…I don't think she wants to be my mommy anymore," he said softly, as though he was ashamed. "I tried to be good though Daddy…I don't know why she doesn't want to be my mommy anymore."

"What made you think that?" Jethro asked.

Tony stared at him, wondering if his Daddy didn't believe him. "I…" he looked down. "She made me feel so bad. She doesn't love me anymore," he said softly. "I don't think I should call her Mommy if she doesn't want to be my mommy anymore."

Jethro nodded and didn't push anymore. He could tell Tony was emotionally exhausted. "Thank you for trusting me," he said softly.

Tony nodded and then yawned. Jethro used his good leg and free hand (the one that wasn't hugging Tony close) and he propelled them out onto the back porch. Jack, JoAnne and Kelly were just finishing hanging a large hammock in the backyard. It stretched casually from the support post on the corner of the porch to the support post on the fence. It was large enough for possibly Jethro and both children to fit into.

"Tony look," Jethro breathed. "For you to rest in!"

Tony smiled, in awe of how nice everyone was being to him. It made him feel better to know that Jethro didn't think he was bad. It seemed like Grandma and Grandpa didn't think he was bad either.

"Can I rest there now?" Tony asked softly.

"Yeah Tony!" Kelly chirped. "Doesn't it look comfy! I think we'd all fit there!"

"C'mon kiddo," Grandpa said. He stepped up to where Tony was still sitting on Jethro's lap and held out his hands. To everyone's surprise though, he shied away and snuggled back into his daddy's embrace.

"Tony?" Jethro asked. "What's wrong?"

Tony shook his head, suddenly tearful and buried his face in his daddy's neck.

"Ok," Jethro said. "It's ok. Wanna rest?"

Tony nodded.

While Jethro, Jackson and Kelly set about figuring out how to get Tony and Jethro into the hammock together, JoAnne was watching through the kitchen window. She'd slipped away silently after hearing all that Tony had to say. It was difficult for her to hear about the damage that her daughter had done to her children…she'd worked hard to overcome the human nature passed on to her daughter from her biological father…but now…in light of everything coming out that Shannon—her beloved Shannon—had said and done, JoAnne was wondering if she'd been a good enough parent for all of these years. Had she missed something important?

It broke her heart to hear about the things Tony had been through. She knew the deployments were difficult for Shannon—had always been difficult for Shannon—but…it seemed that there were issues here that had been hiding just below the surface…

JoAnne rubbed a hand over her forehead and closed her eyes. She wished Charlie was still here. Her dear husband…he wasn't Shannon's father, but as Shannon's step-father, he'd been the best Daddy JoAnne could have hoped for. She wondered what he would say about the situation now. He wondered what he would say about all of it. She felt sure that Charlie would adore Little Tony—who didn't adore Little Tony?—and she was sure that he'd have caring but firm words for his little girl.

She imagined what her beloved husband would tell her to do now. He'd tell her to pick herself up, take a deep breath, and focus on the kids. All of the kids. Jethro and Shannon. Kelly and Tony. Hell, even her and Jackson. They all needed to feel a mother's love. She smiled at the sight she saw outside the kitchen window, and pulled out a mixing bowl. The first step towards fixing any bad situation would always be chocolate chip cookies.

xxx

The next few days passed without much fanfare. Jethro was careful to stay off of his bum knee as much as possible, and he made tremendous efforts to keep Tony outdoors as much as possible. Tony seemed to be making tiny baby steps in his progress towards feeling better, much to Jethro's relief.

Before they knew it, the five day waiting period had passed and Jethro could go visit Shannon. He called the night before to confirm and found out what time visiting hours were. He talked it over with Jack and JoAnne and they both agreed that Jack would stay with the kids while Jethro and JoAnne went to visit Shannon.

Visiting hours weren't until six in the evening, so on Friday night Jethro ate dinner early with the kids and smiled when Jack suggested they all watch a movie together while Daddy went out for a bit. Jethro assured each of the children that he wouldn't be gone too long and would "absolutely positively be home for tuck-ins." Once he was sure they were settled and happy, Jethro and JoAnne set out for the hospital in Los Angeles.

xxx

Jethro stuck his visitor's sticker to his t-shirt and watched as JoAnne carefully placed their items in the locker provided for their belongings. They weren't allowed to bring anything in with them. They were told that if there were cards for their patient that they could take those, but that was really it. Jethro nodded, making a mental note of it, but didn't have anything from the kids to give her this trip. He certainly wasn't feeling hospitable enough to give her a "Get Well Soon" card or even a "Thinking Of You" card and certainly not an "I Love You" card.

When they entered the common room, they were surprised to see Shannon already waiting for them. She was sitting alone at a table, near the corner of the room. Jethro was stricken for a moment by how old his wife looked. Shannon's hair was stringy and tied back in a loose ponytail. She was dressed in dark brown scrubs that made her skin look even more pale than usual.

Jethro and JoAnne approached the table where Shannon was seated and Jethro watched Shannon's eyes widen when she saw him in the wheelchair. He was doing better and was on crutches most of the time, but being at the hospital he'd opted for his wheelchair since it required so much walking. He wanted to conserve his energy for the visit.

While Jethro was concentrating on getting to the table, JoAnne was taking in the image of her daughter. She wasn't wearing any makeup, causing her face to look more plain than normal. Shannon didn't usually wear a great deal of makeup, but now her daughter looked quite different. She thought it made Shannon look older, aided by the creases in her forehead and in the lines of stress around her mouth.

"Hello Shannon," JoAnne was the first one to speak.

"Hi Momma," Shannon whispered. She looked at Jethro. "Hi Honey."

Jethro just stared evenly at her, unsure of what to say. He was trying to reconcile HIS Shannon with this…this mess of a woman before him. He still loved her, but he was so angry and so…so HURT by the things she'd done…it was difficult to want to let her into his protected bubble. Not for the first time, he was grateful that the children had to be sixteen to get to visit.

Finally Jethro took a deep breath. "Hello," he said softly.

Shannon looked at him, watching for him to give her some clue as to how he was feeling, but Jethro's face was a blank slate. There was no emotion in his eyes, and none on his face. He looked as blank as a mannequin in a store window. She ran her hands nervously up and down the outside of her arm. "How…um…how are you?"

"Fine," Jethro said evenly.

"Did you already have knee surgery?" Shannon wanted to know.

"Nope," Jethro said.

Shannon nodded and was quiet for a moment. She looked to her mother who was sitting beside her and smiled awkwardly. It made her a bit sad. This was her family—the people who were supposed to love her no matter what! She didn't understand the way Jethro was acting…or the way her mother was acting either, for that matter.

"How are you?" JoAnne asked. "Are they giving you new medications, dear?"

Shannon nodded. "I'm doing better than I was, but it's still early to tell," she replied nervously. JoAnne nodded encouragingly. Jethro remained stone faced and silent. "Jethro," Shannon said softly. "Baby will you talk to me? Look at me even?"

Jethro turned his icy gaze on her and frowned. "Don't call me baby," he said. Then he glanced around. "I'm surprised whatshisname isn't here," he snorted derisively.

JoAnne blinked at him in shock and then looked back to Shannon who looked horrified.

"Jay? Why would he be here?"

Jethro shrugged and shook his head with a snort. "Figured you'd want to have your favorite boy toy come visit. I'm surprised you could even fit me into your social calendar," he glanced around. "Or have all of your new friends dropped you?"

JoAnne looked at Jethro, unhappy with the tone he was taking with Shannon, but knowing that her daughter deserved it and so she kept quiet. She knew he needed this. And in truth, Shannon needed to hear it. And perhaps this insulated environment would be a good place for her to hear it.

Shannon's jaw dropped a bit and she looked so sad that Jethro almost took it all back. Except he couldn't get it out of his head how sad Kelly and Tony were looking there for the last few weeks. Never knowing if their mother was going to be around. Never knowing which version of her they'd encounter if she was. It wasn't fair to the children to put them through this. He had to end the anger and fix their marriage, and he needed to do it before Shannon was released. He needed time to prepare the children for whatever would end up happening.

"Jethro that's not fair," Shannon breathed.

"No," Jethro snapped, "What's not fair is that you've been out neglecting your family so you could flirt with other men and hang out in bars. THAT is what is not fair."

"I…" tears filled Shannon's eyes. She looked truly sorry. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never meant to hurt anybody."

Jethro narrowed his eyes and if possible his gaze grew even colder. "Really," he said sarcastically. "Then how the hell do you explain what you did to Tony for the last year?"

Shannon blinked and her gaze darkened. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked softly, but there was an edge to her tone.

"I took Tony to the doctor. Did you know he has a vitamin deficiency? Did you know that all of the symptoms of depression he's been showing have had less to do with him actually being depressed and more to do with him needing vitamin D? I believe Dr. Walters explained all of that to you though, or at least he told me he explained it to you, and I've never known him to be misleading during an examination. It can cause his bones to be brittle—did you know that? Tony—who is already going to have arthritis because of what his father did—may now have brittle bones because of what YOU did! And that's just the beginning—let's talk about how you spanked him repeatedly. Let's talk about how you made him wear HIS SISTER'S SHOES to school when he 'took too long' to tie his—when you know damn good and well he's just learning how to do that. Really Shannon, just WHAT do you want to talk about?"

Shannon sat back in her seat, thumping her back against the chair, a look of shock and disbelief on her face. "I…I'm sorry," she said. She looked at Jethro and her eyes glassed over with tears. "I didn't mean to hurt him but he…Jethro he just…he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't do what I was telling him to."

"That's not the way the children are telling it," Jethro said evenly. "And forgive me if I'm more inclined to believe our ten year old and our eight year old than you. But I think you've worked hard to earn that."

"Did you tell them you were coming to see me today?" Shannon asked softly.

"I did," Jethro said. "They don't like it when I leave…they think no one is going to come back. I wonder where they would have gotten that fear from?" Jethro was keeping his voice low, but there was no mistaking how angry he was.

"Oh," Shannon said evasively, looking down at her lap.

"What?" Jethro asked.

"I just…was wondering if they'd written me any letters or drawn a picture or something," she said with a sad shrug. "But I don't see you holding onto anything…"

"Shannon," JoAnne said quietly, putting her hand on her daughter's. "I don't mean to sound crass dear, but…did you really expect to get something from them?"

Shannon blinked and paled slightly, turning to look at her mother in barely masked horror. "Mother!" she hissed. "That's a horrible thing to say!"

"It's the truth," Jethro said simply. "I told them I was coming today. I didn't keep it a secret. They didn't ask to send you anything or if they could come. You've got a lot of work to do on your relationship with the children," he told her as gently as possible. "You've done a lot of damage…they're hurting. They're confused, they're scared, they don't know what to think about what's going on. They're trying to make sense of it and I am doing the best I can—along with your mother and my father—to make sure they feel safe, to make sure they know you love them, and to make sure they know that they still have their home and support system."

Shannon blinked and her expression was a blend of confusion, hurt, and anger. "Wow," she finally said, flopping back dramatically in her chair and crossing her arms. "That's just…wow." She shook her head in disgust. "What the hell Jethro?"

Jethro narrowed his eyes and his glare darkened. "You dare ask ME that question? After everything YOU have done? You want to judge me and what I'm doing to try and hold OUR family together?"

Shannon's eyes glinted like jade daggers and her mouth turned down into a disgusted frown. "Aren't you just a fucking martyr," she snapped. "Always the perfect fucking parent—Dad of the fucking year! Yeaaaaah that's you alright," Shannon said haughtily. "That's you alright buddy. Mr. Fucking Perfect. Tell me—have you learned to walk on water yet?"

"Oh that's real good," Jethro said, keeping his voice low. "You don't like what I have to say so you start throwing a temper tantrum. I swear the kids acted better as toddlers than you're acting now. You're acting like a child."

"FUCK YOU JETHRO," Shannon snapped.

"I have one more question for you," Jethro said leaning into her space, even as she tried to back away.

"Back off me," Shannon said, trying to find somewhere to move. Unfortunately she was pinned against the wall and had nowhere to go. "Leave me alone!"

"What'd you do with our money Shannon?"

Jethro's words hit her like a bullet. She stopped and she stared at him. "The money? Everything that's fucking wrong here and you're worried about the goddamn money?!"

Jethro nodded. "I am," he said evenly. "That's the down payment for your family's new house—should you choose to join us. And it's not in the bank account. I want to know where it is. What did you do with it?"

Shannon smiled, an evil, smoldering smile. "Wouldn't you like to know," she whispered.

"Shannon!" JoAnne gasped. "Listen to yourself!"

"NO MOTHER!" Shannon roared. "YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! WHY AREN'T YOU BACKING ME?! I AM YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"Hey, Hey, Hey, what is going on here?" An orderly asked, stepping close with his hands splayed wide. Jethro had backed off when Shannon started ranting, and JoAnne hadn't moved the entire visit. "Mrs. Gibbs you seem quite upse—"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! DON'T FUCKING CALL ME THAT GODDAMN YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The orderly's eyes widened slightly and he nodded, stealing a glance at Jethro and JoAnne. He stepped silently over to the wall and hit a button and returned to the table where Jethro and JoAnne were sitting with the still ranting Shannon.

"HE FUCKING RUINED MY GODDAMN FAMILY! EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING PERFECT AND THEN HE HAD TO LEAVE! HE LEFT AND THEN HE CAME BACK AND EXPECTED NOTHING TO BE CHANGED!" Shannon looked at Jethro. "IT'S YOUR FAULT! IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT YOU BASTARD!"

Another orderly appeared and together, the two young men approached Shannon, sympathetic smiles on their faces. "Ok take it easy, let's try to calm down," the newly arrived orderly spoke soothingly. He reached out and lightly grasped Shannon's arm. She tried to wrench it away but he wouldn't let go.

"I think this visit's over," the first orderly said quietly to Jethro and JoAnne.

Jethro and JoAnne nodded and watched sadly as Shannon was dragged to her feet. "C'mon now," the second orderly said gently. "C'monnn it's alright we're gonna go for a walk…it's alrightttt…"

The first orderly turned to Jethro again. "You can give us a call later and we'll let you know how she's doing. This has happened several times in the last few days—it's not your fault," he assured them.

Jethro and JoAnne watched as Shannon was dragged—screaming at the top of her lungs—out of the common room. Jethro knew that Shannon would likely be taken to one of the quiet rooms. It made him sad to see her reduced to this state. As infuriating as she was behaving at times, she was still his wife. He still loved her.

He just had to figure out a way to get through to her.

TBC…


	21. 180 Degrees

**Author's Note:** So, in the midst of all of the other excitement of the summer, my laptop has decided to die. I was about halfway through this chapter when it went out. I've reconstructed the chapter and have already started writing the next one—by hand. So I'll get it typed and posted ASAP. Thanks for your patience—I am not giving up on this story or the series—just bear with me! I appreciate all of your continued love and support for Little Tony—you are what keeps him growing! Thanks, Headbanger

_**EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS To my beta, Gotgoats! Goats helped me reconstruct this chapter from the notes I'd sent. Without Goats this chapter woulda taken me a lot longer to post. THANK YOU!**_

**Separation Anxiety  
Chapter 21: 180 Degrees**

Jethro pulled the seatbelt over his lap and let out a sigh.

"So tell me who this Jay person is?" JoAnne said from behind the wheel of the car. Her gaze was directed out the windshield and her expression was grim.

Jethro sighed again and JoAnne pulled out into traffic. "He's this guy…Shannon met him at the bar one night. He's the guy who was with her the night that she was in the car accident when she got arrested," Jethro said quietly. He didn't like talking about this to anyone, especially JoAnne. He couldn't help but feel like he was tattling on his wife. He talked for a bit, trying to paint Shannon as positively as he could given the situation, and eventually he trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

A couple of minutes later, Jethro realized JoAnne had not reacted and he stole a glance at her. "You ok?" he asked softly.

JoAnne nodded tightly, but sniffled suspiciously. "Jethro…I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this—and so much of it alone." She blinked hard several times and did not look at him. "It…it hits me hard…hearing about things like this," the older lady spoke softly.

Jethro stayed quiet, wondering if JoAnne would tell him more. They sped along the interstate in silence for a few moments, and a couple of miles later she began to speak softly. "I don't know if Shannon ever told you about her father," she said softly.

"Charlie?" Jethro asked.

"No," JoAnne said quietly, her eyes still on the road. "Reginald…Reggie."

Jethro shook his head. "No," he breathed. "She never said anything…" he paused for a moment. "Will you tell me? If you want to…"

JoAnne nodded. "I thought I loved him…he was so handsome. Popular. Big man on campus. I was coming off of a relationship that ended suddenly and badly," JoAnne spoke softly, keeping her eyes on the road and the mirrors—anywhere but on Jethro. "I met him in college. He was so wonderful at first…but after a couple of years things changed. He'd show up in the middle of the night, stinking of booze and cigarettes…he'd have his way with me—it was always consensual, but…I was young and a romantic. I had it in my head how I thought it should go and…it just didn't...go the way I thought it should…anyway…he'd stop by my room and we'd do our thing and he'd leave…I wasn't taking any kind of birth control…you know back then we just…we didn't do that…so much. It wasn't proper. Nice girls didn't do things like that…and…and then I got pregnant. Nice girls didn't do that either," she said softly.

Jethro blinked. "So Shannon was an…unplanned…pregnancy," he said quietly.

JoAnne nodded. "That's right. She was NOT a mistake. Not at all. But she was a surprise."

"Right," Jethro nodded. "I get that." Kelly had been a surprise too, but not a mistake. However, Jethro and Shannon were married, and this was more than a quarter century after JoAnne was pregnant with Shannon…it was a different world with different rules.

"Jethro you must understand that I have always loved Shannon. From the first moment I knew she existed she was my entire world."

"What…what happened with Reggie?" Jethro asked. JoAnne had been married to the man Shannon called Daddy—a man named Charlie. Jethro figured that meant Reggie's story didn't have a happy ending.

_***Flashback***_

_It wasn't long before JoAnne was throwing up every morning and noticing that none of her clothes seemed to fit right. Her stomach seemed to be swelling, her breasts were swelling, her feet and ankles and face were swelling…and then she didn't cycle like she was supposed to…Horrified by what Reggie had done to her, JoAnne rode a bus halfway across the state to see a doctor who confirmed what she didn't want to believe._

_JoAnne was pregnant._

_Mortified, JoAnne hurried back to school where she sought out Reggie. She told him the news and he shoved her into the wall and called her a whore. There was no way the baby was his! He told her that she'd better not give him any trouble for it, and she'd better not try to make him pay child support. He wanted nothing to do with the child, wouldn't claim it, would deny his paternity with his last breath._

_JoAnne's clothes continued to tighten and her best friend continued to pick up crackers and ginger ale for her—the only thing she could keep down without getting sick on it. JoAnne continued to sink deeper and deeper into depression, even contemplating an abortion at one point. Her friend gave her a firm shake on the shoulders and told her to snap out of it._

"_Babies are gifts," she explained. "Why would you even think about killing it?"_

_That had gotten JoAnne's attention and she took a new interest in her pregnancy. Her friend accompanied her to the doctor, listening with a huge smile on her face as the doctor described the next few months for JoAnne._

_That had gotten JoAnne's attention and she took a new interest in her pregnancy. Her friend accompanied her to the doctor, listening with a huge smile on her face as the doctor described the next few months for JoAnne._

_***End Flashback***_

"Reggie and I didn't work out," JoAnne said softly. Reggie didn't deserve to have his story repeated. He wasn't worth the energy it would take to speak of him. "He left shortly after I found out I was pregnant."

"That sucks," Jethro said.

"He found someone who was prettier than I was and who wasn't pregnant. He married her," JoAnne said.

Jethro sat back in his seat and thought about what he'd just learned. There were so many things about JoAnne that just clicked into place for him. Suddenly the slightly bitter very quirky woman made so much more sense.

"What bothers me is how easily Reggie walked away from his…responsibilities," JoAnne said softly.

"Right," Jethro said.

"Much like his daughter is doing now," JoAnne said. It wasn't lost on Jethro that JoAnne referred to Shannon as Reggie's daughter in this situation. "I tried to teach her better," JoAnne continued, much to Jethro's surprise. "But obviously…sometimes biology wins."

"Hold up," Jethro said. JoAnne glanced at him, but quickly returned her gaze to the road. "You don't need to blame yourself," he said firmly.

"Don't I?" JoAnne asked quietly. "She's my daughter."

"Yes, she is," Jethro agreed. "But she's an adult. She's her own person. She is the one who is responsible for her choices. She could have chosen to fight her…urges. She chose not to. You taught her the right thing to do. I know you did."

"How do you know that?" JoAnne asked, a hint of desperation in her tone.

"Because you're teaching my children the right thing to do too. And you're doing it so easily—there's no way you haven't got experience with it," Jethro smiled. "You're a good mother. And a good grandmother. You can't blame yourself for our marriage problems. Please JoAnne. It's not your fault."

"You never say please," JoAnne said brusquely, sniffling suspiciously again and keeping her eyes firmly on the road.

"I do when I really want to get my way," Jethro said. When she looked at him with exasperation he gave her a cheeky smile.

"Jethro…I am sorry for the way I treated Tony the first time I met him," JoAnne said softly, several minutes later.

"I thought we've already covered this," Jethro said, glancing at her.

JoAnne nodded. "We did…but I still feel so bad for my behavior. I just…I was worried. Frightened. I remembered how devastated Shannon was when Charlie died. He'd adopted her. Made her his daughter. I just…I didn't want to think about Tony experiencing that hurt—either because something happened to one or both of you, or because you all changed your mind. It just frightened me. I didn't want to get close to him. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Tony needs to be with you. With us. I was wrong Jethro."

"Duly noted," Jethro said. "Now no more blaming yourself. There's no reason for it. It's in the past."

"Thank you," JoAnne whispered.

They rode the rest of the way back to Oceanside in comfortable silence, each of them aware of the change in their relationship.

xxx

When Jethro and JoAnne arrived back home they were not surprised in the slightest to find that both children were still awake. Jethro hobbled on his crutches into the kitchen and smiled when he saw both of the kids at the kitchen table, colored pencils, markers, and crayons spread out between them, working hard on the papers that were in front of them.

Kelly's picture was all jagged lines and funky colors—no real form or "picture"—but it was so Kelly. Tony's picture was a bit more sophisticated. It was a very careful depiction of the bookshelf directly across the room from him. He'd carefully sketched the dark wood shelf, the green vine that lived on top of the shelf, and each of the books, trinkets, picture frames—with pictures, were included in the picture.

Jethro stopped at each child, dropped kisses onto their heads and ooh'ed and ahh'ed over their creations. "Those are beautiful!" he exclaimed. "Grandma come look!" he called to JoAnne.

JoAnne came to the dining room and praised the children for their beautiful work, promising to hang them on the refrigerator when they were finished. She particularly liked Kelly's choice of color and Tony's wonderful attention to detail.

"You are both so artistic!" Jack exclaimed. "Tony your shelf looks real. And Kelly yours is just…wow…so pretty!"

Jethro sat down in the chair at the end of the table and picked up a black marker and a piece of paper. He drew a large black diamond and wrote inside of it: TODAY WILL BE A GOOD DAY. Next he picked up an orange colored pencil and started coloring.

"Whatcha drawing Daddy?" Tony wanted to know.

He slid off of his chair and crept around to his daddy's side, resting his chin on his daddy's shoulder.

Jethro smiled and held up the paper once he finished coloring it. "This," he said. "Is rule number 17. Today will be a good day."

"Only today?" Tony asked.

Jethro looked at him. "What if you read it tomorrow? What will it say?"

Tony thought about it and looked at the sign. "Today will be a good day," he said after a bit. Then his eyes lit up. "I get it!"

Kelly stared at it with a straight face, not smiling or frowning. Jethro watched her reaction carefully. "Ok Kells?"

"What happens when Mom comes back?" she asked sullenly. "That seems like something that she'd like to screw up," she said bitterly.

Jethro opened his arms to his baby girl and she moved into his safe embrace. "Daddy," she said after a minute. Jackson and JoAnne were hovering close by listening, and Tony was still standing close enough to touch Jethro's hip.

"Yeah Kelly?"

"I think you shouldn't go away anymore," Kelly said softly. "Everything was all wrong when you were gone."

Jethro hugged both of his children close to him and stared at the grandparents over the kids' heads.

"Well I'm still in for another year," he said. "After that…well we'll have to see…I don't know what will happen yet. But I will do my very best to not leave again. Ok?"

"Children," JoAnne said. "I will make a promise to you. If it turns out that your daddy has to leave again I will come and stay with you for the entire time he is away. I know it doesn't take the place of your daddy being here, but it might help."

Jethro smiled gratefully.

Jack jumped in. "I don't know if I can stay the entire time he's gone, but rest assured I'll be out here for as much as I can be," he promised too. "We won't leave you kids to fend for yourselves again like this last time. We didn't know what was going on or we would have helped you more."

"We are all going to work together to make sure you kids have what you need to be ok, always, from now on, whether I have to go away or not ok?" Jethro said. "This won't happen to you again."

That night Kelly and Tony both went to bed, reassured that their family had their sixes. They fell asleep with smiles on their faces, knowing that tomorrow would be a good day.

xxx

A couple of weeks passed without much excitement. Jethro, along with the grandparents, was getting the kids ready to start back to school. Tony was going to be in second grade and Kelly in the fourth grade. Shannon had been in the hospital for almost a month. In that time, Jethro and JoAnne hadn't gone to see her except for that initial visit. However, Jethro called the hospital daily to check on his wife and get frequent updates.

On the 12th day of August, Jethro, now free of his crutches and due to start back to work after the kids started school, made plans for the grandparents to watch the kids. He was going to go visit Shannon again. Alone this time. JoAnne and Jack both asked why, and if he was sure, and if he wanted support, but he politely declined, saying he needed—wanted—to make this trip alone.

He entered the hospital quietly, stopped to get his visitors sticker, and rented a locker. He'd called ahead of time and told them the reason for this particular visit and clarified some of the rules. He straightened his shirt and then chuckled at himself. He felt like a teenage version of himself. Satisfied that he was doing the right thing, Jethro stepped into the common room.

Shannon was there, and aside from one other couple on the other side of the room, the common room was empty. Shannon looked up at him, and he smiled at her. She looked better this time. The puffy dark circles under her eyes were gone. Her hair was clean and tied into a familiar looking braid. Her clothes, while still hospital issue, looked like they fit her a bit better. She'd put on some weight.

Jethro smiled and held out the single red rose for her. He'd had the florist clip the thorns off of the stem so she wouldn't poke herself with it. He'd called up the nurses and explained the day and they'd okayed his request. They had carefully inspected the flower before allowing it to pass into the Mental Health wing. "Hi Shannon," he said with a smile.

"Hey Jethro," Shannon's voice was quiet, tinged with awe. She stood up and faced him.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. "Happy anniversary honey," he breathed into her hair. She returned the embrace, and it felt just like a million other times before. All the puzzle pieces fit into place. Everything was as it should be. They were together. "I've missed you," he said softly. It wasn't a lie—he did miss her. He missed who Shannon used to be, not the angry bitter version of herself that she'd become.

"I'm sorry," Shannon said softly. "I'm so sorry Jethro," she sniffled and he felt hot tears sting his skin through the fabric of his shirt.

"How are you doing Sweetheart?" he guided them to chairs pushed close together and they sat down. Shannon sniffed the rose he'd brought her.

"Red roses," she said softly. "Just like on our wedding day."

"Yep," he tilted her chin up and looked at her. "How are you?"

"I'm doing better," Shannon said, dipping her gaze towards her lap. "I have been taking my meds and…and seeing a therapist. A really good therapist. She's helping me a lot. I um…I've had some tough days…but I think those are getting fewer and the good days are increasing…" she was quiet for a long moment and then looked at him. "I've done a lot of bad things Jethro. I hurt our family a lot."

Jethro thought his heart would break. She sounded so…so sorry… "Yes," he said softly. "Yes you have. I'm working on forgiving you Shannon. The kids…they have a ways to go yet. Tony especially."

"I don't blame him," Shannon said. "I was horrible to him. About him. I don't know…he's such a good boy, I just…I think I got overwhelmed. He missed you so much and it…it made me feel like nothing I did was enough. Looking back I know it wasn't enough—nothing would replace you—and nothing SHOULD replace you—but…but I think I'm enough too. Or at least I was. I have a lot of fixing to do."

"You'll have to go at the children's pace," Jethro warned her gently. "They…they're working through a lot of emotions."

"Are our parents still with you?" Shannon asked.

Jethro nodded. "Yeah, they are. They've helped us so much."

"I'm glad you haven't been alone," Shannon said, smiling at him. "Jethro…I need to apologize to you. I said some things…did some things…My therapist is making me write letters apologizing to each of you, but…but I wanted to tell you too. All the things I said and did…I really didn't mean it. I love you—YOU! You're my husband…my best friend…" she glanced around, "Maybe my only friend now. And I said horrible things to you. The line about you being on vacation…well I was just being an ass. I know you weren't…weren't goofing off. You were trying to get back home. I just…I lost sight of everything, I think. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I didn't see it and get help sooner."

"I appreciate that," Jethro said. "I know it must have been hard for you. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you too—even though I didn't have a choice but to be away," he pulled her into another hug. "I always say I never leave anyone behind, but when you needed me most I wasn't here."

Shannon took a deep breath and sighed. She'd missed Jethro. More than she realized. "Happy anniversary Jethro," she said softly. He hugged her tighter. "I missed you," she said softly. "I don't know if I ever really told you that and meant it," she looked up at Jethro then. "I really did miss you while you were gone. Not just because it's easier to do all of this when you're here—I missed you because…because you're my best friend. I love you so much. I am crazy for you." She smiled sheepishly. "Ok maybe that's not a good word to use," she chuckled softly.

Jethro stayed for the entire visiting period—two hours. They talked about this and that, Jethro trying to keep things light, trying not to bring up anything that might upset his beloved wife. They talked about Shannon's therapy, and the things she'd been working on: her feelings towards Tony, why she was so upset by him, why this deployment was so much harder than the others had been…lots of things.

"I wrote some letters…in therapy," Shannon said quietly, staring at her hands. "I wrote one to each of you. My therapist suggested I write to you, but once I started, I felt like it'd be good for me to write to everyone." She looked at him and her eyes searched his face for judgment. Finding none, she continued. "I have them…I…I can go get them. If you want me to? Would you mind to deliver them for me?"

"I don't mind," Jethro said. "I might ease into it with the kids," he cautioned.

Shannon nodded. "Do whatever you think is best for them—even if it means you read it and then tell them what I said. I don't want…I don't want to hurt them anymore," her eyes filled with tears. "Jethro I can't believe how bad I hurt my babies," she whispered.

That evening, when Jethro left Shannon with five letters in his hand, he had a bounce in his step. For the first time in months, he really felt like things might turn out ok. He was really optimistic for the first time in weeks that his wife—his marriage—would survive. It made him smile.

xxx

When he got to his car, Jethro tore his own letter open. Shannon had asked him not to read the letters in front of her, but the suspense was killing him. He unfolded the lined paper and stared at the penciled words on the page before him.

_July 31_

_Dear Jethro,_

_I don't even know if I deserve to call you "dear" anymore, even though you are dear to me. I have made so many mistakes lately. But you…you've been my rock. You've been there for me when I've mocked you, yelled at you, disrespected you and our marriage, just…done horrible things. And I want you to know that I am sorry for every bit of it. I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry that I have hurt you so badly, my love. Being here, in this hospital, has helped me to see that it really is ME who has the problem here, not you. You've only been wonderful, supportive, caring, and constant. So constant. I have been a train wreck. I don't deserve your love or your support and yet, you keep showering me with it. I don't know what I've done to deserve you._

_I am sorry for the mess with Jay. I'm sorry for making you doubt my faithfulness to your and our marriage. In all honesty Jethro I swear to you that nothing happened between Jay and me. We danced some, he bought me a few drinks, and he copped a few feels, but I told him to stop and did not let it progress farther than dancing. I would never cheat on you or be unfaithful to you, and if you feel like I have been unfaithful to you…I hope you can forgive me. I am truly sorry for what I have done._

_During your last visit to the hospital…right before I melted down so badly…you asked me about the money. I didn't spend it Jethro. I moved it. I was thinking crazy and being selfish…I drew it out of our savings account and put it into a savings account that only I can access. But I didn't spend it—in fact, the account that I opened is an interest earning account…it's gotten even bigger than it was. We have almost $26,000 saved now. I am sorry that I did it though, and sorry I didn't tell you about it. I'm sorry for a lot of things Jethro. But the reason I was acting so crazy—one of the reasons—is because I felt so out of control about everything. I didn't know if you were ok—if you were alive or dead—I didn't know what to do about Tony—which I see now I should have done something. _

_I didn't mean for him to get sick. But…as twisted as it is…as wrong as it is…I knew I could control that. I didn't have to do what the doctor said. That was on me. And it's my mistake Jethro. Dr. Walters told me how to help Tony and…and oh God help me…I'm a nurse and I completely ignored what he said. Instead of helping him I chose to be irritated that he wasn't getting any better. __I screwed up and I feel like a horrible mother for it. I think I am a horrible mother. Our children deserve so much better than what they've gotten from me this year._

_I have noticed that you haven't brought the children to see me or mentioned bringing the children to see me. Is it because you don't trust me? For a while I wouldn't have trusted me either, but I think I am doing better now. My therapist told me I have made some progress. I'd love to see the kids if they would like to see me. I miss them so much…Kelly and how grown up she's becoming and Tony…gosh he's just such a little beacon of light and it makes me sad that I hurt him so badly._

_I know I've hurt all of you. And I am sorry for that. I'm sorry for being selfish, and for being out of control, and for being irresponsible, and for lying to you and snapping at you and being a horrible wife and mother. I am working on getting better and it is my prayer that when that day comes that you all will be willing to give me a second chance. I am so sorry Jethro. For all of it. I love you all so much, please, if nothing else, please know that._

_I love you. ALWAYS! xoxoxo_

_Love Shannon_

Jethro lowered the piece of paper and let out a long breath. He stared at the grayish-white building where his wife was currently housed and ran a hand over his mouth. He wondered about the things she'd said. Thought about how much better this visit had gone—better than any of the interactions they'd had together since the night they had sex when he returned. He was having a hard time switching gears, fluctuating between Shannon's anger, hostility, brokenness, and then this new, calm, remorseful version of his wife. She seemed like she wanted to make things better, like she wanted to have things go back the way they were—but that was the kicker—Shannon had done so much damage…Jethro didn't know if the children would be able to let them go back to the way things were. He didn't know how to fix this.

He didn't know what to do.

Before he went any farther, he figured he should read Shannon's letters to the children. He dug through the stack of letters, arriving at Kelly's first. He wouldn't read Jack's and JoAnne's. They were adults—they could handle themselves. He pulled Kelly's letter out of the unsealed envelope and began to read.

_31 July _

_My Sweet Kelly,_

_Happy birthday Honey! I'm so sorry I was not there to celebrate with you on your special day. Eleven years old! I remember when your daddy and I found out we were pregnant with you. You've been our very special princess from that first moment._

_Oh Kelly I'm so sorry for what has happened this year. I am getting the help I need though-getting better all the time! My doctors told me I am making good progress. I want to get better so I can come home to you guys. I miss you all so much._

_I wanted to also tell you how sorry I am for the way things went the last time I saw you. I made a lot of mistakes that day Kelly. I did and said things that day that were completely out of line and unacceptable. I am sorry you had to see me fall apart like that. I could not help what happened, but I screwed up by coming home that day. I felt very...out of control...and I should have listened to Grandma. I should not have put you through that. I should not have called you a brat. I should not have burned the pancakes. I did so many things wrong. I understand if you are angry, or if your feelings are hurt. Baby girl, please know I am __SO__ sorry._

_I hope one day soon I can see you so I can tell you in person. I love you so much and I am so proud of you! You are turning into a beautiful, amazing young woman-one who I am very proud to call my daughter._

_Happy birthday again. I love you Sweetheart!_

_Love Mom_

Jethro wiped a hand over his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He could tell that Shannon's words to their daughter were sincere and that Shannon desperately wanted to make things right with Kelly. He was concerned, though, because he didn't think Shannon was truly appreciative of just _how_ angry Kelly was. He didn't think Shannon understood that a simple "I'm sorry"-heartfelt though it may be-would not fix it-it wouldn't make up for the months of damage that she'd done.

With a sigh, Jethro pulled Tony's letter out of its envelope.

_31 July _

_Dear Tony,_

_Hi Kiddo. How are you? I heard you have been sick-are you feeling better? I hope you are. I feel like I should apologize for you being so sick. It's my fault Tony. I don't have any excuses or reasons why I let you get so sick. I was sick too, Sweetie. I AM sick. But I'm working on getting better. My brain is working better now and I can see the ways that I treated you badly while Daddy was gone and once he came back._

_Tony I am so sorry for the things I did and said to you. It was your very first deployment and instead of making things easier for you-instead of helping you, I pushed you away and scolded you. I did everything backwards. I took a bad situation and I made it even worse. I should have done better with you-though you proved how brave and strong you are AGAIN by how well you came through the deployment. I am very proud of you. And I'm sorry I made things harder for you instead of easier._

_I'm sorry that I sent you to your room when you were sad. I should have given you hugs._

_I'm sorry that I didn't come running when you had bad dreams. I should have slept with you or had you sleep with me so I could chase away the things that were scaring you._

_I'm sorry that you sat up at night drawing instead of resting. I should have kept you company and found ways to help you relax._

_I'm sorry that the kids at school were mean to you because of things I did. I should have been helping you learn that sometimes people say and do mean things, but that doesn't mean you have done anything bad or wrong to deserve it happening. Those things were MY fault, not yours._

_Mostly Tony, I am sorry that over the last few months I have made you doubt the fact that I love you. I have been acting more like your "mean-mommy" and less like me-the mommy who loves you so much and is so proud of you. I don't think I can change the things I have done and said. I can only say I'm sorry and beg you to forgive me, and try my very hardest to never let any of this bad stuff happen again._

_I do love you Tony. I'm sorry for what I did. If you want to forgive me I would like that-but don't do it if you think someone will get angry if you choose not to. i want you to be in control of this decision. I will understand and accept whatever you decide. I hope you don't forget that I do love you though._

_Love Always, Mommy_

Jethro wiped the tears falling freely from his eyes and took a shuddering breath. He thought it would be best if he gave the kids their letters one at a time. That way he could be with them and give each of them whatever support they would need to weather the storm they called "Mom." With a heavy sigh, Jethro put his SUV in gear and pointed the car towards home.

xxx

It was after dark by the time Jethro returned home. Jack and JoAnne were in the living room when Jethro limped inside. His knee was improving daily, but he still wore a large, heavy brace on it, and he wasn't back to work yet. Between the busted knee and the still-fading concussion from the explosion, he just wasn't ready to take over leading the battered remains of his troop yet.

Jack and JoAnne were filled with questions about his visit to see Shannon.

"How was Shannon, Jethro?" JoAnne asked as the young man dropped tiredly onto the couch. The children were upstairs asleep.

"She's doing better I think," Jethro said with a nod. "She and I actually had the best conversation we've had since I came home. She was very calm and much more like herself." Jethro smiled, "I feel like I got to see my wife for the first time in months."

"Oh Jethro that's wonderful!" JoAnne exclaimed, clasping her hands together happily. "I am so happy!"

"She uh...she wrote letters...in therapy...to each of you," Jethro said. "She asked me if I would deliver them," he passed the letters to each of the parents. "She also...she wrote letters to me and each of the kids," he said softly.

"Ohhhh," Jack said. "Did um...did you look at them Leroy?" his tone was unaccusing, telling Jethro that Jack would back his decision to read the kids' letters.

"I did," Jethro said. "Shannon said I could decide if I wanted to show the letters to the kids or if I wanted to just relay the messages to them."

"What are you going to do?" JoAnne asked.

Jethro held out the kids' letters. "I want you both to read the letters. I think I'm going to show the kids their letters, but I'm going to do it one at a time so they have my undivided attention. Take a look at the letters and see if you agree. I might need your help when I do this. In fact, I can almost guarantee I'll need help."

Jack and JoAnne each read a letter and then swapped papers. When they were finished, Jack ran a heavy hand over his brow and JoAnne dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

"I think the children need to read these," JoAnne said. "But I think you are right to ask for help. I think, as helpful as it will be, it will also be horribly difficult for them."

Jack nodded. "I agree with JoAnne. I think it will be hard, but it's important the children hear from their mother. They need to hear from her that she's been sick, and from her that she still loves them."

Jethro nodded. "I agree," he said. "I agree." He took a deep breath. "It was hard...tonight...she was so...so much like herself. She kept apologizing and it would have been so easy to just open my arms and bring her home. And...and if it was just me? If there weren't kids involved...that's what I'd do. But...but she hurt them so badly...they are still carrying that weight and that pain with them..." he ran a hand over his face. "I have to protect them. They're young and still so innocent, despite everything. As much as I want her home...I have to take care of the kids. They come first. Even before my wants, my needs, or my marriage." He looked at them. "The babies-MY babies-have to come before everything. I will stop at nothing to keep them safe."

Jack smiled proudly and nodded. JoAnne kissed Jethro on his forehead. "You're a wonderful father," she said.

xxx

The next morning Tony and Kelly woke up, both of them relieved to see that Daddy was back. It was Orientation Day at school and Jethro had promised both kids that he would go with them to meet their new teachers.

Kelly was excited. She was going into fifth grade-the last grade before she would begin Middle School. She was hoping to be in class together every year since preschool. Kelly could hardly entertain the thought of not having her "BFF" with her.

Tony was a bit more subdued. He wasn't particularly looking forward to going back to school. One of the unpopular, 'nerdy kids,' Tony couldn't help but be anxious and a bit apprehensive about all of the potential trials and tribulations that he would face. He hoped that at least one of his friends-either Scott or Charlie-would be in his class. Griffin would be good to have around, but he was going into fourth grade. Tony was hoping more than anything that he would just survive the year.

It was with those thoughts in their heads that Kelly and Tony entered the Oceanside Elementary School. Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy were following right behind them. Kelly marched right up to the class lists and found the group of second grade classes first. "Tony you are in Ms. Blackmon's class. She's in Room 119." She walked to the fifth grade class lists next. "I am in Ms. Berry's class. Her class is in Room 303. I'll never see you!" She turned wide eyes to Tony. "What are you going to do without me?!"

Tony stared at her like she'd grown another head. "Kelly," he said, his arms splaying wide. "I hardly ever see you at school! I am gonna do just like always!"

Jethro smiled and ruffled Tony's hair affectionately. "Attaboy," he praised softly.

They decided to go to Kelly's class first, since the young girl was still fairly vibrating with excitement and anxiety over whether her beloved friend was in her class.

When they arrived on the third floor and started down the hall, Kelly squealed when she saw Maddie. "Do you know what class you're in?" Kelly asked her friend.

Maddie shook her head. "I forgot her name, but it's Room 311."

Kelly froze. "That...that can't be right," she said quietly. "We have to be in the same class..."

Maddie smiled sympathetically. "We've always been in class together," she said thoughtfully. "Maybe this will be a new adventure for us! We'll still have lunch and recess together," Maddie told Kelly.

But Kelly, with all of the changes in her world, could not bear the thought that after everything that had happened she would now face a school year without Maddie.

"NO!" Kelly exclaimed. "No! No! No! This is all wrong! Daddy!" she spun around to Jethro and hugged him desperately. "Daddy," it sounded more like a whimper this time, "Daddy fix it," she begged, her voice a ragged whisper. "Please Daddy it's all wrong! It's too differetn! Please Daddy!"

Jethro hugged Kelly back and looked up to see Myra and Adam standing behind Maddie. "Do you mind if I get Kelly switched so she and Maddie can be in class together?"

Maddie shook her head saying she didn't mind, and Myra and Adam shared a look then both shook their heads too. "We don't mind Jethro," Myra said. "I wonder why they split them apart? They've always been together."

Jethro shrugged. "Just the luck of the draw, I guess," he said. "But with...everything...going on...I would rather not make her feel like she's losing someone else."

"Absolutely," Adam agreed. "We'll walk with you to get the switch made."

The two families headed for the main office.

Kelly was relieved when the school secretary quickly switched her class. Jethro quietly explained that there were some challenging things going on at home and Kelly was feeling a bit insecure. The secretary told Jethro to make sure and let the teacher know if it was anything that could potentially effect the classroom environment. Jethro nodded and thanked the secretary for her help.

Now that Kelly's problem was solved they all headed back up to the third floor. Mrs. Davis would be Kelly and Maddie's teacher. Kelly didn't really seem to care about the decorations in the classroom or the projects she would be assigned during the year, or even where her seat would be. She was content in the knowledge that she would be near Maddie-her very best friend-the person who, next to her family, she felt the safest with.

After getting Kelly's supply list, enrollment paperwork, and emergency forms the Gibbs family headed down to Room 119 where Tony would spend his school year.

"Good morning Scholars!" Ms. Blackmon exclaimed as they entered the room. She looked friendly and welcoming, but it was difficult to tell what her age was. She had long blond hair tied up in a messy bun with a pencil and her outfit...Tony's eyes widened. Ms. Blackmon had the longest legs that Tony had ever seen on a girl! Her skirt was black with white stripes and black lace adorned the hem. She wore a red shirt with a black sweater over it with sleeves that came to her elbows and she wore a black necklace made out of chunky black stones. She wore black and red striped knee socks and clunky heeled mary-janes to complete the ensemble.

Tony blinked when Jethro nudged him and he realized that the pretty teacher had said hello to him. He smiled shyly. "Hi," he said softly, nervously pushing his glasses up higher on his nose.

Ms. Blackmon smiled. "Can you tell me your name?"

His name? What was his name? Ms. Blackmon was the prettiest teacher he'd ever seen.

Kelly rolled her eyes dramatically. "His _name_ is Tony Gibbs," she huffed, looking scornfully at her brother.

Ms. Blackmon smiled again. "Mr. Gibbs," she slid a pair of narrow-lensed, thick black framed glasses onto her pretty nose and checked her list. "Yes! Here you are! I have you!"

Tony smiled again. She had him alright.

The little boy was doubly happy a few minutes later when Scott and his mom Jewel and his daddy Jeremiah came into the classroom.

"Tony!" Scott called happily, running over to greet his friend. "Are you in this class too?"

"Yeah," said Tony with a dreamy smile. "Ms. Blackmon says she has me," his facial expression was positively goofy looking, so smitten was he.

Behind him, Jethro smiled. "Yep," he said to his father with a wink. "She's got him alright. Hook, line, and sinker."

Jack laughed and clapped Jethro on the shoulder. "He's a lucky kid," he said, glancing at the pretty teacher. He and Jethro watched as the teacher handed Tony all of his lists and forms and then gave his shoulders a gentle, hug-like squeeze.

Jethro smiled and shook his head when he saw the dreamly look on Tony's face. "Wonder where he got skills like that from?" he asked his dad softly. "Surely wasn't me!"

"That's easy!" Jack said, smiling and nodding to the pretty teacher as they left. "He got those skills from Grandpa!"

Kelly, walking behind the men with JoAnne, looked up at her grandmother and rolled her eyes, making a disgusted face. "Boys are so weird," she groaned dramatically. "I'm glad I'm not a boy!"

JoAnne shook her head. "Give it time, Love," she said. "You'll be acting silly soon enough."

TBC


	22. Realizations

**Author's Note:** Special special thanks to my wonderful, behind-the-scenes helper, Kathi1C. Your help has been priceless and wonderful and I appreciate you so very much :) You rock dude!

_As always, thank you to my very fantastically awesome beta reader, Gotgoats, without whom you would not have a Little Tony to love and enjoy. Thank you for sporking me into action whenever I was being lazy about writing. :) You rock too!_

**Author's Note # 2:** A question was raised in a review about the time period setting for this story. This story, like Daddy's Boy and Breaks & Repairs, lays on top of Terminal Orders. Terminal Orders was written as a short story that hit on the high points of DB and B&R and now Separation Anxiety. I am working to get Shannon back to a place where she can rejoin her family, and will keep it in canon with the story that Terminal Orders originally presented. This story will end with pieces from Terminal Orders and the next story in the series will pick up with the end of Terminal Orders. I hope this clears up any confusion! I appreciate all the questions and wonderful feedback you give me! —Headbanger

**Warning: Got tissues? Oh, and beware the end of the chapter… *evil grin* Angst ahead!**

**Separation Anxiety  
****Chapter 22: Realizations****  
**

Tony blinked his eyes open and squinted in the dark bedroom. He rolled over and blinked again, staring at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It took a few blinks to get his eyes to focus…but finally the numbers swam into clarity. 2:52 a.m. He took a deep breath and tried to bury his head in the pillow, but let out a soft gasp when moving his head hurt. He wondered if he had a migraine again…

It took a few minutes, but he finally managed to roll to his side. He swallowed hard and fought down the urge to throw up. His tummy felt really bad…his head felt like there were knives driving through it. He couldn't see very well, and even his ears hurt. He always felt scared when he hurt this bad…he wanted his Daddy. He considered getting up and going down the hall to Daddy's room, but he knew Daddy was tired. He remembered what Daddy told him when he fell and broke his leg…he was supposed to wake Daddy up if he needed him—even if Daddy was tired. But Daddy was REALLY tired.

That wasn't the only reason that he was reluctant to go wake his Daddy up. Tony shivered in the dark when he thought back about how angry Shannon got when Daddy was gone. She would yell at him and throw pillows at him in the middle of the night until Tony would give up and go away. It hadn't taken but a couple of nights to help get the idea cemented for Tony—the idea that Mommy didn't love him, didn't want to help him, and didn't care if he needed her in the night.

So he was learning to do it on his own.

Well. Mostly on his own. He'd never understand how, when he was feeling lonely at night, when he felt scared, or if he hurt, or if he felt sick, it never failed that Kelly would show up. Tonight was no exception. As he laid in the dark, trying not to acknowledge the tears streaming from his eyes, he jumped slightly, startled when his bedroom door cracked open. He winced when the sliver of light stung his eyes like acid and he slapped an arm across his face to block the light, and then groaned when the pressure on his face ramped up the pain in his head.

"Tony?" Kelly's voice whispered across the dark. "Are you awake?"

Tony waved a hand at her and didn't move or speak otherwise. He could hear her padding lightly across the room.

"Does your head hurt Tony?" she asked gently, trying to keep her voice down.

Tony took a deep breath. "Yeah," he whispered.

"I'm gonna go get your medicine ok Tony?" Kelly whispered. She ran her fingers over his hair, trying to make him feel better, and frowned sadly when he winced. "I'll be right back," she whispered.

Kelly tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom. She flipped on the light and took a minute to wipe a hand over her face. She felt so bad for Tony. She'd never had a headache like the kind he got, but she'd had a headache once or twice and it was no fun. But Tony's were much worse. She knew if she didn't help him that he'd start to throw up and if he started doing that it was way harder to get his headache to go away. She pulled out the bathroom stool and opened the door on the mirrored medicine cabinet. Kelly peeked at the variety of medications and cosmetics in the cabinet before finding the bottle of pain medicine that she knew Tony took for his headache.

With practiced ease she pulled out a medicine cup and carefully measured up the half teaspoon of the cherry flavored liquid that she hoped would make his headache go away. She was trying to be quiet, because she knew Daddy was asleep right down the hall. Grandma was asleep too—downstairs—and she didn't want to wake either of them.

Once she had the medicine dosed up, Kelly screwed the lid back on the medicine and reached up to put it in the cabinet again. Her hand accidentally bumped against her Daddy's bottle of aftershave and it fell. She gasped and tried to catch it but the hard plastic bottle made a loud crash as it landed on the soap dish, then bounced off the toothbrush holder, before landing in the sink on its side. Kelly froze, her eyes trained on the bottle in the sink, fear coursing through her, eyes wide, and felt her breath catch in her throat.

She was going to be in so. much. trouble.

For several seconds she didn't move. She listened carefully and, after a short time, when she didn't hear anything, she carefully reached out and lifted the bottle and set it silently back on the shelf and closed the cabinet door. Kelly set the medicine cup on the counter, being careful not to spill it, and then put the stool back into its place. She picked up the cup again and turned off the light. Stepping out into the hall she started back towards Tony's room when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder.

By some miracle she didn't throw the cup of Tony's medicine. She also slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming—knowing that if she screamed it would hurt Tony.

Kelly whipped around and stared up at her Daddy. She was a bit confused because he didn't look angry and she thought for sure if he was awakened by her making noise that he'd be mad—just like Mom would be. Her daddy was tired—he'd been talking after dinner while she and Tony were working on their homework about how tired he was. It was nearing the beginning of October and the children had been in school about six weeks and homework was in full swing. Jethro had started back to work three weeks earlier, having been released by the doctors back onto duty.

"Daddy!" she squeaked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Kelly," Jethro said gently. "What are you doing out of bed Princess?"

"I…um…"

"Kelly…is that Tony's medicine?"

Kelly looked at the traitorous cup of medicine in her hand and bit her lower lip. Finally she nodded. "Yeah," she whispered.

Jethro rubbed a hand over his chin. "Are you taking it to Tony?" he asked. He wondered if Tony was sick or…

Kelly looked at him like he'd grown another head. "Who else would get it?" she asked quietly. She paused a beat and then sighed. "He has a migraine," she told him sullenly.

Kelly thought Daddy looked concerned. "Are you sure?" he asked softly.

Kelly hesitated for a minute then nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I'm sure."

Jethro knelt before his daughter—she was so grown-up and strong—and he put his hands on her shoulders. "Kelly…I'm not mad, but I'm curious…how do you know how to do all of this?" he asked. "How do you know how much medicine to give Tony—and _what_ medicine to give him? We never…never taught you that?"

Kelly stared at her daddy with a pained look on her face. "Can…can we give him his medicine first? He isn't throwing up yet—but if he does that it's way harder to make it stop and throwing up makes his head hurt even more. I'll tell you after we fix him ok?"

Jethro nodded and stood up slowly, leaning on the wall to keep the pressure off of his knee. "Can I come with you?" he asked. "I'd like to check on Tony too."

Kelly eyed him for a long moment, unsure if she should allow him into their nighttime ritual. He looked very worried though, and sounded like he wasn't mad and that he meant what he said. "Ok," she said. "But you gotta be really quiet, because if we talk too loud it hurts his ears and makes his head hurt worse."

Jethro smiled and ran a hand over her hair. "Got it," he said with a half smile. "Lead the way, Dr. Mom," he said, following her to Tony's room.

Kelly and Jethro stepped slowly into Tony's room. Jethro's eyes narrowed when, despite the darkness in the room, he could see Tony's face pinched and his body tight with the pain he was feeling. It bothered him quite a bit that Tony hadn't come to get him when he realized he had a migraine. It made him a bit sad too, knowing that Kelly was able to pick up on Tony's pain and identify it so effortlessly. He hung back a bit, watching Kelly tend to Tony, wanting to see what she did.

"Tony," Kelly spoke softly, her voice nearly a whisper. "Tony I got your medicine."

Tony moved his head slightly and whimpered slightly. Then he slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes widening in panic. Jethro narrowed his eyes a bit. Why did Tony look so scared?

"It's gonna be ok Tony," Kelly whispered. "Remember we do it together." She helped him lift the cup to his lips so he could take the medicine. Once it was down, she passed him the cup of water that was on the night stand. "Here," she said. "Remember sometimes water helps," she told him softly and Tony drank a couple extra sips to make her happy.

She crawled up in the bed and hugged Tony. He rolled into her and tucked his head in her shoulder, shuddering in pain.

Jethro stepped closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hey Buddy," he murmured. He patted Tony on the leg and then grabbed his hand and held it carefully.

Tony squeezed his hand but didn't look up at him.

"We're right here kiddo," he said. He glanced at Kelly. "Has he had any other migraines in the middle of the night since I came home?" he asked. "I haven't slept through any have I?"

Kelly shook her head. No other migraines at night. Jethro knew Tony had a couple of other migraines, but they'd all been in the middle of the day. Jethro breathed a sigh of relief, knowing he'd not betrayed his children…not like…he swallowed hard. It was painfully obvious again how much damage Shannon had done. He knew she was sick, and he knew she really was doing better—the weekly visits were proving to him how much better she was getting—but that didn't change the fact that while he'd been away she'd really inflicted a lot of pain and damage and suffering onto his—their—children.

It wasn't long before Tony fell asleep again, drifting away on a medication haze that rendered him painfree, hopefully ending the migraine. Once Kelly was sure Tony was asleep she carefully extricated herself from his embrace and replaced her body with a pillow for him to wrap around. She tucked the covers up around his shoulder and brushed her fingers over his hair again. "Night Tony," she murmured. She stared at him for a long moment before taking a deep breath and looking up. "Ok Daddy," she said. "I'm ready to go talk to you."

Jethro led the way back to Kelly's bedroom. She climbed up on the bed and sat down cross legged and stared at her lap. "I didn't mean to wake you up," she said softly.

Jethro sat down across from her. "Oh honey," he said softly. "I'm not angry that you woke me up. But…I don't understand why you didn't wake me up."

Kelly shrugged, her eyes still on her lap.

Jethro scooted a little closer to his daughter, a sick feeling in his gut. It was obvious this was leftover from his deployment, but…he wondered what specifically had taken place. "What's going on Kelly-Bug?" He hadn't called her that in a long time.

Kelly shrugged again and this time Jethro wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. "Kelly," he said quietly. He wondered how much to push. He figured she'd tell him.

"He gets really bad migraines at night," Kelly said softly. She sniffled and a tear rolled down her nose. "He gets them even worse when he feels upset."

"That's right," Jethro said, keeping his own voice low.

"While you were gone…he got migraines all the time…especially at night though. He didn't sleep a lot while you were gone. He sat up a lot of nights drawing, but a lot of other nights…" she shrugged again. "Other nights he'd get migraines."

"You must have learned a lot watching Mommy," Jethro said, knowing that probably was not what happened.

Kelly snorted.

_***Flashback***_

_Kelly woke up to the sound of Tony whimpering—again. He'd done it for the past two nights. She wasn't sure how to help him, but he kept waking her up and she wished he wouldn't! They had school tomorrow and she needed to go to sleep so she didn't want to go to sleep during math class._

_She listened for a few more minutes. It was obvious that Tony was trying to be quiet. Kelly wondered if Mommy would wake up and give Tony his medicine. She sighed in the darkness and wished her daddy was here. Daddy always jumped up when Tony got a headache. Tony didn't have to lay in the dark and cry when Daddy was around._

_After a bit, she rolled out of bed. She tiptoed to Tony's room and peeked inside. Tony was laying on his side, as was his usual position when he had a migraine, with his fists dug into his eyes. _

"_Tony?" she whispered. "Are you ok?"_

_Tony's only reply was a pitiful whimper of pain. _

_Kelly stepped up to Tony's bed. "Tony?" she asked again, a bit louder._

_Tony groaned this time, digging his hands tighter into his eyes._

"_Does your head hurt?" Kelly asked._

_Without warning, Tony suddenly heaved, gagging and throwing up all over himself, the bed, and Kelly._

_Kelly's eyes widened in panic and she gasped. "I'm gonna get Mommy," she whispered. She turned and ran out of the room whispering to herself the entire way, "please be ok please be ok please be ok please be ok…"_

_When she reached her parents' bedroom she burst into the room without knocking and was surprised to see Mommy still in bed asleep. _

"_MOMMY TONY NEEDS YOUR HELP!" Kelly exclaimed loudly._

_Shannon stirred slowly and pushed herself up on her elbows. "Kelly what are you doing out of bed! It's the middle of the night and you've got school in the morning! I'd better not have any trouble waking you up in the morning young lady!"_

"_MOMMY TONY IS SICK!"_

"_Quit yelling at me young lady," Shannon said coldly._

_Kelly stopped yelling, but was still bouncing on her feet, completely panicking. "Mommy! Tony really needs you! He threw up on his bed! He's sick! He has a migraine!"_

"_God you kids are so dramatic," Shannon snapped. She got up out of bed and pulled on her robe. "Why didn't he go to the bathroom if he was sick? What was he thinking? Does he think I LIKE doing laundry?!"_

"_I don't think he meant to," Kelly said, twisting her fingers together._

"_Well I deal with sick kids all day long, excuse me if I don't have the energy to deal with it all night too. At least at work I get paid for it," Shannon snapped, stomping to the bathroom._

_Kelly followed, ready to help if she needed it. She watched as Shannon opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle of painkillers. "Here," Shannon said and lobbed the bottle at Kelly. Kelly scrambled to catch it, but nearly dropped it. "Give him this. And quit making so much noise! I worked all day and I need rest! I'm exhausted."_

_With that, Shannon left the room, stomped back down the hall and slammed the door in Kelly's face._

_Kelly stared at the bottle of medicine in her hands. She'd never given anybody medicine before. A grown up always poured it for her and Tony. She looked at the bottle. It said on the label that Tony should get a half teaspoon every four hours or as needed. She found the medicine cup and breathed a sigh of relief when the numbers and letters on the cup were spelled the same as they were on the bottle. _

_She put the medicine back in the cabinet where Mommy got it from and left the bathroom. She got halfway to Tony's room and then turned around. She went back to the bathroom and got a washcloth out of the closet. She wet it like Mommy used to do when they got sick and wrung the water out of it. Taking that and the medicine with her, she headed back for Tony's room._

_Tony was a mess. Kelly helped him drink the medicine and winced in sympathy when he made a face. She wiped his face off and then wiped her hands. She looked around, knowing that she needed to clean Tony's bed, but the bed sheets were in the closet in Mommy's room and she didn't think she wanted to wake Mommy up again._

_The little girl took a deep breath and made a decision. "C'mon Tony," she whispered, pulling on his arm. "You gotta go to my bed. I'll help you, c'mon." _

_Tony was nearly incoherent from the pain and he struggled against her weakly, trying to resist her gently urgings. _

"_Tony you can't sleep in a throw up bed," Kelly told him. "Come on, it's ok I'll help you." _

_This time Tony came willingly. He staggered heavily, his eyes almost closed and his body taught with pain. Kelly hooked her hand under one of Tony's elbows and wrapped her arm around his shoulders with the other. "I'll help you," she whispered. "We'll do it together. It's ok."_

_They made it halfway back to Kelly's room before Tony gagged again._

"_Ohhhh no, no, no, no, no, no, no," Kelly said. "You can't throw up in the hall, you gotta make it to the—" Tony heaved and gagged, coughing and throwing up right in the doorway to the bathroom._

"_Ohhhh great," Kelly groaned. She looked over her shoulder while she wiped Tony's face again. Then she quickly dragged him to her bedroom and deposited him in bed. "Do not throw up again," she said firmly, pointing at him. She grabbed the trashcan from under her table and put it near the bed. "If you need to throw up do it in this," she said. Tony gave her a weak thumbs up and closed his eyes._

_Kelly watched him for a second, before turning to hurry back to the bathroom. Before she could get there though, she heard Mommy's feet stomping across the floor and braced herself. A moment later the door slammed open and mommy came into the hall looking more angry than Kelly could remember seeing her._

"_What the hell are you still doing out of bed!" Shannon screamed at her._

_Kelly bit her lower lip and looked squarely at her mommy. "I'm taking care of Tony," she said firmly. "He's sick. Like I told you."_

"_Don't you cop an attitude with me, young lady!" Shannon screamed. _

"_Well you're our Mommy! You're supposed to take care of us!"_

_Shannon looked at her for a long moment and didn't say anything. Kelly thought maybe Shannon was finally listening. To her surprise, Shannon threw her hands up, shook her head, and turned around. She walked three steps back towards the bedroom before turning around again, and her eyes didn't look right when she looked at Kelly._

"_This damn mess better be cleaned up when I wake up in the morning. And you'd better get your asses out of bed the instant I call you. Hear me?"_

"_Yes Mommy," Kelly said softly._

_Shannon stomped back into her bedroom and closed the door with a hard slam._

_Kelly bit her lip to keep her tears at bay and wondered how she was going to clean the mess up. She walked back down the hall to her room and checked on Tony. It looked like he was sleeping soundly, drooling on her pillow, and to Kelly's relief, the lines of pain in his forehead and around his eyes were easing. She ran a hand over his hair and swallowed hard. _

_With a newfound determination she turned back to the bathroom. She wouldn't leave Tony to hurt and be sick by himself. She didn't care how much trouble she got into. But one thing was certain—she wouldn't be waking Mommy up anymore after tonight._

_***End Flashback***_

Jethro wiped the tears from his eyes and hugged Kelly close to him. "I'm so sorry," he said, and he felt like he'd apologized five million times for being away. He was brokenhearted by the story Kelly had just told him. "But Kelly…I am so proud of you. You are growing up so much. You're such a big girl now. And you're an amazing big sister."

"I gave Tony his medicine lots while you were gone. He got migraines lots of nights. He's a lot better since you came home. Mommy said it was ok with her for me to give him his medicine. I told her when he needed more and she got to stay asleep. She didn't want to take care of him anyway. She didn't want to take care of either one of us."

A sound near the door drew their attention. Tony was standing in the doorway, eyes at half mast, swaying dangerously, mostly asleep.

"Tony?" Jethro called, with a cautious glance at Kelly. "Whatcha doin' buddy?"

Tony didn't answer, merely swayed back and forth, silently.

Kelly grabbed Jethro's arm. "He gets up and walks around sometimes," she told him. "He's looking for you…he calls out to you sometimes, and I'm always scared he's gonna fall. What if he walks to the steps?"

Jethro nodded, already on it. He stood up and kissed Kelly on the head. "How bout you go back to bed darlin'," he said. "I'll take over with Tony from here. Ok?"

"Are you sure you aren't mad?" Kelly asked.

"I promise I am not mad." He kissed her on the forehead again. "Goodnight baby girl."

"Goodnight Daddy," Kelly said.

She watched as Jethro walked up to Tony, ducking to make sure he was in Tony's line of sight. "Tony? Buddy it's Daddy. C'mon Kiddo," he said gently. He hooked his hands under Tony's arms and lifted him up. "C'mon let's go back to bed. I gotcha."

Jethro stepped down the hall, thinking it would be better to take him back to his own bed where he could keep an eye on him. Plus Jethro's bed was larger, and he figured with Tony in the bed with him he'd be less likely to fall out of bed. The last time they'd all piled up into Tony's full-sized bed he'd nearly fallen out because they were too crowded. He gently deposited Tony on his bed and the little boy blinked his eyes open. They were slightly glazed and unfocused, but Jethro thought that was likely a combination of the pain of the migraine and the medicine Kelly had so expertly given him.

"Hi Buddy," Jethro said quietly.

"I been lookin' for you Daddy," Tony said with a dopey smile. "Where you been?"

Jethro smiled sadly. "I've been right here kiddo," he said. "Daddy's got you."

"Kelly taked care a me," Tony slurred.

"She's a pretty good big sister isn't she?" Jethro said, settling into bed next to his boy.

"Mmmm," Tony agreed, snuggling under the blankets a bit. "A bestest sister ever."

Jethro smiled. "I think so too," he said. He clicked off the lamp and pulled the covers up over himself.

A moment later a figure appeared in the doorway. Jethro pushed himself up on his elbow.

"Daddy?" Kelly spoke softly.

"Yeah Kells?" he said, clicking the lamp back on. Tony shifted, but was sleeping soundly again and didn't wake up.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" she asked softly, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

"I promise," he said with a gentle smile. "You wanna camp out in here with us?"

Kelly breathed out a sigh of relief. "Is…is that ok?"

"Wouldn't have invited ya if I didn't want ya," Jethro said reasonably. He pulled the covers back in invitation.

Kelly smiled and stepped up to the bed. "It's not gonna hurt Tony is it? I don't want him to feel bad."

"I think he's resting now. You got him his medicine before he got sick. You did good."

Kelly crawled up into bed on Jethro's other side. She leaned over and clicked off the lamp and curled up against her daddy with her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're home," she said. "Things are so much better with you here."

"You did good, Princess," he said. He brushed a kiss against her forehead and listened as her breath evened out into a peaceful sleep. Tony rolled over and curled up against his other side and Jethro wrapped an arm around him too. He laid in the dark and listened to his children breathe, listened to the soft sounds they each made in their sleep, and waited for morning.

xxx

The next morning the kids were both sluggish. Tony had a bit of a hangover from the headache, some residual pain, and was generally kind of dopey. Kelly was slumped at the breakfast table, chin cupped listlessly in her hand and both children's eyes were at half-mast.

JoAnne was scurrying around the kitchen, cooking and packing lunches, helping everyone get ready for school. She stopped after several minutes though, and looked at the kids and Jethro. They all looked exhausted. Not for the first time she wished that Jackson hadn't needed to return East in order to keep his store running.

"Did you all stay up all night and party without me?" JoAnne asked.

"Tony had a migraine last night," Kelly said. "I got up with him. And then Daddy got up with me. And then we both stayed with Tony. I guess we're all tired from that."

Tony pushed his breakfast away and laid his head on folded arms. "I don't feel good," he said quietly.

JoAnne and Jethro shared a look. "Jethro I can keep him here with me today," JoAnne offered.

Jethro glanced at Kelly who'd dozed off and whose face was precariously close to her oatmeal. He carefully slid the bowl out of the way so if she faceplanted she wouldn't land in the hot gooey food. "Can you keep 'em both today?" he asked softly.

"Absolutely," JoAnne said with a firm nod.

"I have to go to work…I missed so much…" Jethro felt torn. He wanted to stay home and make sure the kids were ok, but he had missed so much work…he didn't know what to do.

"Go to work Jethro," JoAnne assured him gently. "If we need you to come home, we'll call you." She smiled at him and he returned the smile gratefully.

Jethro quickly kissed each of his children on the top of the head and ruffled Tony's hair, even as he tugged Kelly's ponytail. "I'll come home for lunch. How bout that?" Jethro asked.

The kids nodded slowly, smiles dragging across their tired, sullen faces.

Jethro looked at JoAnne. "We need to talk at some point. Soon. Before we head to LA again."

JoAnne looked mildly troubled. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah," Kelly interjected. "Tony had a migraine last night."

"A migraine?" JoAnne looked at Tony. "Dear are you alright now?"

Tony nodded but didn't raise his head.

Jethro looked troubled and JoAnne moved to his side. She patted him on the shoulder. "Go on to work honey. Leave everything to me. We'll see you at lunch."

With a deep breath, and one last glance at the children slumped at the table, Jethro nodded, donned his cover, and headed out the door.

xxx

When Jethro came in from work at lunchtime, he set the keys on the table with his cover and took off his shoes. He was wearing his service uniform today so the shoes came off easily. JoAnne poked her head into the living room and her eyes widened when she saw his sock feet.

"I didn't think you could take your shoes off?" she asked.

Jethro shrugged. "My house, my rules," he winked at her.

JoAnne sagely raised an eyebrow. "And what would your CO say if he showed up at your door?"

Jethro smiled cheekily. "May I come in Gunny?" He ducked her headslap and trotted off towards the kitchen, both of them chuckling the whole way.

JoAnne joined Jethro in the kitchen and caught the puzzled expression that crossed his face. He turned to her. "Where are the kids?" he asked softly. "Are they ok?"

JoAnne nodded. "They're both asleep. Tony's head started hurting again about mid-morning so I gave him some of his medicine and he went to sleep. Kelly went upstairs to sit with him, but when I peeked in on them…she was sound asleep with him. They're piled up like puppies in Tony's bed."

Jethro looked at his watch. "How long have they been asleep?"

"About two hours," JoAnne said. "Should I go wake them?"

"No," Jethro said softly. "Let them rest. It's Friday—if they stay up late tonight it's not the end of the world. We've got all weekend to get them back on track. It's actually good they're sleeping. I need to talk to you."

"I was wondering if we'd get to that today," JoAnne said mildly.

Jethro sank into a chair at the table. JoAnne was in the kitchen moving from here to there, busily working on making lunch for Jethro and making dinner for everybody.

"I learned something last night," Jethro said.

"What's that Jethro?" JoAnne asked gently.

Jethro sighed. He rubbed a hand over his forehead and looked down into his coffee cup. "Tony had a migraine last night," he began softly.

"Yes, that's what you all said—that's why the kids are home today. I'm assuming he had a headache and you got up and took care of him as you do so well, and Kelly woke up to the noise and—"

"That's wrong," Jethro said. He looked up at JoAnne with a sick expression on his face. "That isn't how it happened."

JoAnne stopped and looked at Jethro for a long moment before easing herself into a chair across the table from him.

"I think you'd better start at the beginning," she said gently, the discomfort evident in her voice.

Jethro took a deep breath. "I didn't hear the kids until Kelly dropped my aftershave on the counter. She heard Tony and…" he broke off, swallowing hard.

"And?!"

"And the whole time I was away Kelly had to get up and take care of Tony when he had migraines because Shannon refused to do it. Kelly learned how to give Tony his painkillers, learned how to help him when he throws up, learned how to help him go back to sleep…Jesus JoAnne she was Tony's mom while I was away. It wasn't Shannon. Shannon called in the refills for the medicines when Kelly told her to, but…"

"But it has been proven to us again how much we missed while you were gone. We missed so many red flags…"

"Did Kelly ever mention this?" Jethro's tone darkened.

"What? No! No, of course not! She was fiercely protective of Tony, but…but she's always been so protective of him, I didn't notice that it was more than normal…Jethro…what are you not telling me?" she could tell by his body language that he was leaving something out.

"Kelly told me all about what happened the first time Tony had a migraine in the middle of the night while I was gone. Shannon didn't want to wake up…Kelly woke up and went and got Shannon…Shannon was horrible to her JoAnne…she yelled at Kelly…threw things at her…fussed when Tony got sick and threw up…and Kelly…Kelly just took the…the abuse, and she took care of her brother, even in the face of her mother yelling at her, and…and after that…ever since then…she's never woken anyone up when he's had a migraine at night. She just takes care of him. She's brilliant! But…But, God, JoAnne, they're…they're just little kids…they don't…they shouldn't have to…"

JoAnne stood up and moved around the table. She put a hand on Jethro's shoulder and squeezed it. "You know this is not your fault, right Jethro?"

Jethro rubbed his forehead again, trying to ease the headache that wanted to form. "I know," he moaned. "But…I'm having a really hard time here JoAnne." He didn't meet her gaze.

"What can I do?" she asked gently, not judging or questioning him. Not for the first time, he noticed the difference in their relationship over the last few months.

"I think we need to figure out a plan," he said softly. "Shannon's going to be released from the hospital soon."

"Her doctor talked like that might happen in the next week or two," JoAnne said. "That's what he told us the last time we visited."

Jethro nodded. "I know. But I'm worried. I'm not ready to…I'm not ready to trust her here yet…I don't trust her with the kids…they're still so young and vulnerable, and they're trying to recover from…from everything. We've been going to therapy for a month, and it's like we've just barely scratched the surface." He looked at JoAnne. "You shoulda seen Kelly last night. When she realized I was awake—and she knew she hadn't come to get me…" he shuddered involuntarily, "she was so frightened. She looked like she thought I was going to beat her within an inch of her life. She just knew she was going to get into trouble."

"Oh no," JoAnne murmured.

"And even after we worked together to get Tony settled and we tended to him, and we talked about it…she was still so scared that I was angry—or that she and Tony were going to get into trouble…" Two tears dripped down Jethro's cheeks. "I don't want my babies to be afraid of me—" his voice cracked and more tears flowed. "I…I want them…to know they're safe…they're always safe with me…oh God what have I done?" he dropped his head onto his arms on the table and sobbed brokenly.

JoAnne tugged Jethro into a hug. "We'll fix it," she said. "But you haven't done anything wrong. You have to remember that. I know everyone's told you that, but really, you have to remember that."

Jethro sniffled and nodded. "I know," he said softly. "I just…it's my kids," he said. "Ya know? I just want it to be right for them." He was quiet for a long moment and JoAnne chose not to speak, knowing he was still working it all out in his head. Finally he took a deep breath. He raised a sorrowful gaze to JoAnne and his lower lip trembled when he spoke.

"I don't want Shannon to come home when she gets out of the hospital."

TBC…


End file.
